Second marriage: will it last longer and happier

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Recently, young people are increasingly entering into early marriages. Of course, this is due to the fact that now young people are too liberated, boys and girls begin an early sexual life and have no prohibitions.

First marriage

Most often they marry (marry) their first sexual partner, mistaking passion for "love for life." Over time, the "fire" subsides, life begins, and people disperse. Later, such a marriage is called nothing more than a "mistake of youth." Another option is when the marriage occurs due to the pregnancy of the partner.

The young are married by the parents of a disgraced girl. Another option is a man so decent that he cannot leave his pregnant girlfriend alone. Such unions break up almost immediately after the baby is born.

It's a completely different matter when the lovers lived together for a long time, but because of the betrayal of one of the partners, the marriage broke up. As paradoxical as it may sound, men experience divorce much more painfully and are less likely to remarry.

Happy second marriages

But be that as it may, time passes, and people want a new happiness. Regardless of age, everyone needsfeel the love and care of the second half. Already more experienced and cautious in choosing a partner, men and women enter into the next marriage consciously. According to statistics, the second marriage lasts much longer than the previous one, precisely because of the thoughtfulness and balance of this decision.

Tips to make your second union perfect

Any relationship is a daily hard work that you need to try to do your best and “smooth the corners”. Unfortunately, many realize this only when entering a second marriage. And in order for the new union to be stronger and more durable than the first, you need to learn a number of features in relations with each other.

1. Do not be shy about new love and hide it from people. If a good person has appeared in your life, you have real deep feelings for him and are ready to connect your future fate with him, you should not hide your loved one from relatives and friends. There is no need to be ashamed of the fact that you love again and want simple human happiness. Let family and acquaintances still remember you in a pair with your first partner, maintain friendly relations with him or even talk about you. Of course, this person was in your life. Well, let him (she) remain a pleasant memory.

And a new relationship will start from scratch. It is necessary that the second husband (or wife) feel like a real part of your family. It is necessary to ask friends not to talk about previous relationships in his (her) presence. You need your loved one to know that the "ex" is left behind, and now there is only your family! It's great if "newfamily member" will be accepted by your children. Then the process of "lapping" will be much more comfortable!

2. Stop thinking only about yourself. This point applies primarily to women. Most often, the first divorce occurs due to the fact that the girl was humiliated in marriage, the husband cheated or treated his wife badly. And at some point, she could not stand it and broke the "vicious circle". Or, on the contrary, the husband is tired of life with the "victim" and left her for a more courageous woman. After such a humiliating relationship, the girl tries not to make such a mistake a second time. And in a new marriage, she tries on the role of a more selfish wife. Should not be doing that! You need to remember that there is a completely different man in front of you, and do not humiliate him by comparing him with his first tyrant husband. And don't bring old grudges on him. Let him show you that the relationship can be different and the partner can be gentle and caring. After all, for some reason you trusted him.

3. Forget old failures. Once you have let go of the past, along with its negativity and failures, forget about it and don't let it seep into your new family. Even if some situations are similar, you should not say the following phrases to your partner: “You are the same as my first husband!” or "You're as much of a bitch as your ex-wife!" This is the biggest mistake that people make when entering a second marriage. We are all imperfect, everyone has our flaws, but no one likes the comparison with a former lover. If you want a new "cell" and develop in a new way, forget about the former. Even in a quarrel beoriginal!

4. Everyone has a past. Here, too, much depends on the woman. Most often, it is she who forgets that not only she had a husband. But the current spouse has a former family. And if you can break off relations with your first wife, then children from a previous marriage should in no case suffer. The second wife must remember that as her current man treats his children now, he will also treat joint ones. Therefore, by any means help your loved one to see them. Let them come to visit you, get acquainted with half-brothers or sisters (if any). Try to find a common language with his children, especially if the new husband now lives and communicates with yours. Everything should be mutual!

It is important that the second wife come to terms with the fact that a man will give some part of his income to his former family to children. Surely your first spouse will help you if you have a joint child.

Don't try to "step on the same rake"

Not so often, but it happens that as soon as a woman (man) has found happiness again and arranged her life anew, the former partner tries to "get everything back." Calls, harassment and even threats from the spouse begin. He assures that he "made a mistake" and begs the woman to return. In fact, practice shows that nothing will change - as soon as the wife returns to the family, the man will behave as before. And the marriage falls apart again. Ex-wives usually return the prodigal spouse to the family with the help of blackmail andmanipulation of children. Although men most often leave forever. Therefore, if you have already started a new relationship, you do not need to rush about and be torn into two houses. Have respect for yourself and your second marriage partner.

Don't deprive yourself of the happiness of having a child together

Even if you already have children from previous marriages, connect your real family in common. No matter how many children you have from your ex, a joint baby will make your union complete. Remember how it was the first time? The baby brought an element of “miracle” into the family, forever connecting you with your husband (wife).

Well, let those relationships be in the past. Allow yourself to feel "one" with your loved one again. Usually a child in a second marriage is born late and becomes a "new ray of light" in life.

Celebration

There is a stereotype that it is stupid and pointless to arrange a magnificent holiday for the second time. Especially if the woman was already married and wore a white dress. Another thing is when only a man had experience of marriage, and a woman marries for the first time.

Actually, these are simple prejudices of people. Everyone arranges his life just the way he wants. If the newlyweds decide to have a celebration - great! Now the children will be able to take a walk at the wedding of mom and dad.

Celebration Options

Even if this is the second marriage, the wedding can be as magnificent as the first time. You can organize it in any style. It can be a traditional holiday with a decorated car, loaf, ransom andtoastmaster. Or a quiet evening in a restaurant with relatives and old friends. If you don’t want all this pathos and noise at all, you can just quietly sign in the presence of witnesses.

It is also very good not only to register your relationship, but also to get married in a church. Even if it didn’t work out the first time, maybe this union needs to be “made in heaven”?

True, when entering into a second marriage, it is better to choose a more modest dress, and not to wear a veil at all. There is a sign that a woman should have one.

Conclusion

Despite the fact that from childhood we are taught that a wedding should be once, you need to marry or get married only for love. In life, everything happens in a completely different way. And if love has passed or there is no more strength to live together, people must part in order to find a new partner and become happy again. After all, there is only one life, and you need to live it well!