Sex education for teenagers: methods, problems, books

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Your child has been the smallest and most tender creature on earth for so long. But time goes inexorably, and now you have a teenager who declares his rights and desires, and besides, he has a lot of uncomfortable questions. The menstrual cycle, first and sexual fantasies, body changes and relationships with the opposite body. The topics are very sensitive and most parents prefer to avoid them. However, sex education for adolescents is an extremely important issue, and ignoring it often leads to disastrous consequences.

First changes

The age at which they become especially noticeable may vary. For some, this is 11 years, for others - 14. At this time, the body as a whole is actively developing. Body weight and height increase significantly, working capacity increases, all physiological systems actively develop. But the endocrine glands work most actively at this time. Under their influence, even behavior changes. Sexual education of adolescents should be started as early as possible, competently answering all questions and not hushing up topics of interest to him, so as not to createinformation vacuum.

School or parents

This is another important question. Relatively recently, sexual education of adolescents did not take place at all. Information had to be collected by the children themselves bit by bit, learning it from older comrades. As a result, it came in a distorted and not always complete form. Today, society has finally reached the point where it is extremely important to educate a teenager not only in the bosom of the family, but also to conduct special education as part of school education.

The introduction of special items allows you to increase the level of information awareness and gives each teenager the opportunity to ask questions of interest to him. Thus, we can say that the sexual education of adolescents is the task of the whole society as a whole. That is why today there are so many informational videos that are broadcast on television. They are designed in an accessible and simple form to convey to yesterday's child the most important information that he needs so much.

At the intersection of physiology and psychology

Both a boy and a girl in their incomplete 14 years become completely different, which is often a cause of concern for a caring parent. And how not to worry if an affectionate and contact child suddenly begins to close in on himself, to fence himself off, he has his own life, about which he does not want to talk. In fact, he himself does not fully understand what is happening to him. The fact is that puberty is characterized by a sharp hormonal surge. It is thanks to this that there is an active appearancesecondary sexual characteristics, the formation of the constitutional features of the body, the breaking of the voice and all the accompanying changes with the external and internal genital organs.

But that's not all. A boy and a girl do not yet know what exactly is happening in their bodies, so all the changes can be scary. The activity of the gonads easily explains the instability of autonomic functions and frequent mood swings. As you can see, the change in behavior is well justified. The increased activity of the gonads at this moment also plays a role. Hormones are released as much as there is not even in an adult. At the same time, a teenager does not have the opportunity to fully realize this energy. This results in rudeness and stubbornness. Do not be offended, it is best to teach the child to adequately implement everything in the right direction. Interesting activities, sports, outdoor activities will help.

School Objectives

Sex education in our schools is in its infancy. This is facilitated by the fact that most of the information that is related to sex in our society is taboo. This is a relic of the Soviet past, when sex education at school was reduced to a page in an anatomy textbook, where the genitals of a man and a woman were drawn. But there were no comments from the teacher on this information either.

Why is it recommended to work in a team? Because it is possible to invite qualified specialists and experts who will provide information that each parent individually does not have in full. Or if he owns, then notknows how to convey to the growing child. The second point: this information immediately spreads to the whole class, that is, each of the students forms the correct idea about the nature of sexuality. As a result, it will be easier for them to have discussions outside the classroom.

Main problems that sex education addresses in schools

• First of all, it is necessary to name the filling of the information vacuum. Teenagers have always been interested in taboo topics. However, distorted or inaccurate information often does more harm than good.
• Prevention of the problems that the early onset of sexual activity brings. Today this issue is becoming more and more relevant. Even if the fact of early adulthood persists, it is imperative that both partners are kept safe.
• Prevention of sexual violence. Sex education for girls must necessarily include educating teenagers about the problem of pedophilia in order to reduce the number of abuses against them by adult men.

Information block

Do not forget that information must be received in a timely manner and strictly in the required amount. At the age of three, to the question "how did I appear?" you can tell a fairy tale about a king and queen who loved each other very much and slept tightly hugging each other in the same bed. And one day they realized that someone appeared in the queen's stomach. He grew rapidly, and soon the court physician said that it was a girl. Everyone was very happy. And when she grew upcame into the world.

Usually, with admission to the kindergarten, the child begins to understand the difference between the sexes. And again, do not dismiss such questions. Confirm that the genitals are arranged differently, in boys they look like a faucet, and in girls they look like a slit. This will suffice for now.

When the child reaches the age of five, you can add a little information about how he got into his mother's tummy. Here it is appropriate to tell that dad gave mom a cell of himself. She united with the mother's cell, and a child developed from it. If the kid saw dogs or cats on the street at an intimate moment, and he again had questions, then you can stick to the same version. This is how animals transfer their cells to each other, and soon babies will appear in the tummy of the female.

The age of 8-9 years is considered optimal for the first talk about sex. This does not mean that the child needs to be planted and laid out to him everything that you know. But, having seen an advertisement for pads, you can start a conversation with a girl that she will soon begin menstruation and her breasts will begin to grow. Now she will become even more beautiful and turn into a young girl. The husband can tactfully tell the boy about the approaching wet dreams and the breaking of the voice. And again, it must be emphasized that this is a normal phenomenon, and it indicates that everything is in order with the body.

At about 8-9 years old, you can already talk about sex. Explain that the sexual organs have serious names - the penis and the vagina. Hugs and kisses are very pleasant for both men and women. From this, the penis increases and it can be inserted into the vagina, like a key. Spermatozoa come out of it, which combine with the female egg and form a new life. At the age of 13-14, it will be possible to impose a conversation on contraception and protection against sexually transmitted diseases on this basis. The main thing is not to compose fairy tales and fables, but to talk seriously and frankly with the child.

What parents need to learn

Issues of sexual education of adolescents seem so sensitive to us, first of all, because our parents did not have such conversations with us. And so far, although we ourselves have adult children, talking about “this” seems too unethical. However, you should be well aware of the following points:

• Personality and sexuality are inseparable. This rule also applies to sex education, which cannot be considered in isolation. You just need to properly educate a child, communicate with him and answer his questions.
• Sex education work with teenagers should be done long before they have reached this very age. All questions asked by the child should be taken seriously, and the answer to them should be built as competently as possible. No need to tell a three-year-old kid fairy tales about a stork. Suffice it to say now that the parents love each other and therefore a baby appeared in the mother's tummy. As it grows, it will be possible to increase the amount of information.
• In fact, giving a child a competent idea about intimate life is no more difficult than teaching any other things.

Basic rules for parents

We all come from the Sovietchildhood, which leaves its mark. But in fact, the sexual education of adolescents by parents is a consequence of correctly developed trusting relationships. At home, they will always listen to him, believe him and protect him. If the parents managed to prove in practice that they are worthy of this trust, then there will be no problems in the future either.

The second point is the personality of the parent himself. The problems of sex education are often associated with the fact that an adult has to deal with his complexes and problems, to carry out internal work on them. And the most important thing is not to pass them on to your child. It is only about the attitude towards your body and the process of conception as such. It must be unambiguously positive. There is nothing wrong with the body.

Well, and one more thing: in the process of sex education, the situation in the family plays a very important role. Normal, trusting and warm relationships between mom and dad contribute to the child's natural perception of gender differences between men and women.

Pedagogy of sex education

Of course, not all parents are teachers and psychologists, so this aspect of education is perceived with certain difficulties. Moreover, sexual education of the younger generation is one of the weakest areas of modern and, in particular, family pedagogy. Not all parents, like teachers, fully understand what it includes.

Gender problems of sexual education of adolescents are acute in single-parent families where a parent brings up childrenopposite sex. However, even a married couple sometimes cannot decide who will talk with their daughter or son on a particular topic. However, the main thing here is to understand that sex education is a complex of pedagogical influences on the educated person. This issue is being considered from two sides:

• This is an integral part of moral education. If a child has clearly formed such concepts as girlish honor, moral purity, manhood, respect for a woman, friendship and love, then consider that you have completed your mission.
• The second aspect is a social and hygienic problem, which is related to he alth and well-being. That is, a certain minimum of knowledge is simply necessary.

It is the full disclosure of these two aspects that implies sex education. Topics should be raised as the child's interest develops. Sex education cannot be separated from moral development.

Main tasks that are the same for families and schools

Adolescent sex education program should be unified as it serves the same purposes. Today in our society there is a tendency to conduct promiscuous sex life, the number of divorces is growing. Moreover, this affects the demographic situation in a far from good way. The concepts of civil and guest marriage that have emerged and become stronger bring their confusion into the general picture of the world, which children absorb. There is nothing better for the formation of the correct model of the world and gender relations than the model of a strong and friendly family.

With that in mind, let'sLet's formulate the main tasks pursued by the sexual education of adolescents, and the role of the school in this matter:

• Formation of a positive attitude towards a he althy lifestyle and the desire to have a real, friendly family.
• Help in understanding your needs and adequate ways to meet them.
• Providing kids with the right information to help them understand what is happening to them and adapt to change.
• Cultivating a sense of respect for other people, male and female.

School is a social institution where boys and girls learn not only to read and write, but also to build their first relationships with members of the opposite sex. Therefore, teachers, no less than parents, should be involved in the process. Their tasks are even more global, since the correction of sexual education of adolescents, neglected in the family, falls on the shoulders of a school teacher or a social worker.

Main directions of sex education

We have already considered the main tasks in accordance with which it is necessary to build the work of both teachers and parents. The sexual education of girls in the classical sense will be aimed at developing an understanding of oneself as the guardian of the family hearth, traditions, and the successor of the clan. Boys learn respect for a woman, a gentle and careful attitude towards her, protection. Thus, several directions of sex education can be formulated:

• Gender-role education. It helpsdevelop psychological masculinity and femininity. In addition, it is at school that children learn to communicate effectively with each other as male and female representatives.
• Sex education. It is aimed primarily at the optimal formation of sexual and erotic orientations.
• Preparing for responsible marriage. First of all, the principles of mutually responsible partnership should be worked out here.
• Preparing for responsible parenting.
• The idea of a he althy lifestyle should be the red thread here. It is assimilated through the explanation of the dependence of sexuality, marriage and parenthood on such bad habits as alcoholism and drug addiction, on infidelity and related venereal diseases.

Teens Sex Education Methods

We have already well understood what tasks we face so that the future generation will normally enter adulthood. At the same time, I would like to note that not much is required from parents and teachers in order to accomplish these tasks. Communication is the main tool. First of all, you need to establish contact with the child and enlist his trust, and then carry out the process of education. However, communication is different. Today we will highlight two main ones that can be used:

• Methods of orienting communication are unhurried conversations and explanations in the process of communication. The most effective way of such communication is the question-answer option. Discussion of various situations and lectures is another form of exerciseeducational activities.
• Methods of educative communication is another large section that suggests that a person in the process of education not only learns some norms and rules, but also experiences some feelings that form mental neoplasms. Sexual education cannot be reduced only to the assimilation of certain norms. Among the methods of education, one can single out the reception of positive samples of gender-role behavior, as well as methods of approval and disapproval. However, they act only because they cause certain emotions. Therefore, the right choice of means of influence and an individual approach are so important.

Best Helpers

Most parents find themselves lacking the right words and explanations, especially when it comes to sex education. The book is the best help. Choose a good encyclopedia and present it to a teenager when he is 10-12 years old. His interest in taboo topics will only grow, and when he comes up with the question of who a gay or transvestite is, you can always refer to a book. For example: "The encyclopedia covers this issue better, let's look together."

Sex education of a child is a joint journey into the world of adults. From the very first days of his life, you teach the baby so many things that it is a matter of habit for you. All the difficulties that arise with sex education are connected only with our own fears and complexes and shame. Don't focus on itdo not pass them on to the child. Answer calmly and accurately. And so that the child does not take you by surprise, think over possible answers to the question in advance.

Don't wait for your child to start asking questions. In accordance with age, you yourself can start complex conversations in the form of informational tales or unhurried conversations at the most suitable moment for this. And the most important thing is the formed trust between you and the child.

Which books to recommend

There is a lot of literature on store shelves, but not all of it is suitable for competent education of a teenager. Moreover, there are books that are best read to parents in order to be able to competently tell the child about everything that interests him. Among them are:

• "From diapers to first dates" D. Haffner.
• "Where did I come from. Sexual encyclopedia for children aged 5-8" by V. Dumont.
• "Encyclopedia of sexual life for children 7-9 years old. Physiology and Psychology". C. Verdu.

If you want to additionally give a teenager the opportunity to read and find answers to questions on their own, it is recommended to buy him the book “My body is changing. Everything teens want to know and parents are embarrassed to talk about, published by Clever. When giving this book, do not forget to tell your child that you are open to dialogue, and you can discuss everything that he reads here.