2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Sexual education of children is a topic that is usually avoided. Parents try not to talk about taboo topics and hide from the growing child everything that somehow suggests the topic of relations between a man and a woman. Of course, in this way they try to protect him from information that is difficult to accept and analyze.
And everything would be fine, but very often the idea of parents that "it's too early" is not true. Sexual education of children should begin much earlier than puberty, and even more so before the moment when the grown child begins to have sexual relations. But on the other hand, that's no reason to end it.
Important Need
Parents and educators need to know that sexual and sexual education of children and adolescentsis not only desirable, but absolutely necessary. To form a psychologically and emotionally mature person, one must pay attention to all areas, including intimate relationships, no matter how taboo this topic may be.
There are many reasons why it is closed. Christian morality and appropriate upbringing played a huge role in this. On the one hand, Scripture says to be fruitful and multiply. On the other hand, intimate relationships are proclaimed sinful and base. Of course, a growing person does not understand anything about this. But add to this the physiology that declares itself and the awakening sexuality, and you will understand what a cocktail of feelings a child is experiencing.
The lack of sexual education of children leads to defective, distorted development. One cannot simply ignore such a powerful natural need as procreation. No matter how developed we are, no one has canceled the biological roots of man.
Improper upbringing is a problem in society
And that's what we have to deal with today. It is not too difficult to guess where sexual and sexual deviations, perversions and non-traditional orientation come from. All these are trends that are gradually unwinding in society. Hence early pregnancies and abortions, single mothers, abandoned children and many other problems.
We are talking about improper upbringing in the family, that is, about all forms of its manifestation. Do not think that the problem arises only with an excess or lack of information onthis issue. The behavior of parents and their attitude towards each other, as well as the form in which juicy information is presented, plays a role. Adult sites are the worst example of how a child can learn taboo topics. They give a distorted view of their own body and the relationship between the sexes.
Sex education for preschoolers
Most of today's parents just don't know how to approach this issue properly. Therefore, they leave it to school teachers, psychologists and yard friends. So the guys will learn about the most important of the most unreliable sources. If you don’t know where to start, then a book on the sexual education of children will come to the rescue. You need to start enlightenment with yourself, then you will get a good result.
The problem is that in society and in the minds of many people, a certain prohibition is programmed to discuss such topics with children, and often among themselves. Probably, many noted that children aged 4-5 ask questions about their origin. And in response they receive either an outright lie or a mysterious one: “Grow up - you will know.”
Education is not the same as prohibition
This is an open process. To understand something, you need to be able to discuss it. And adults are biased and stereotypically think that sex education at an early age is not at all necessary. There is a time for everything, they will grow up and understand everything themselves. Sexual relations are not only not discussed, but are forbidden both verbally (in words) and non-verbally, that is, in behavior.
But that's allwhat you need to know is in modern books. Sexual education of children is a topic that every parent must study. If it causes persistent hostility, then it is worth working on your settings, perhaps contacting a specialist. So, thanks to our actions (or inaction), a parental program for the prohibition of sex education is formed in the child's head. When the baby grows up, he will also not do this work with his children. And so generation after generation.
Basic rules
Pre-school children need to be taught basic hygiene and behavioral skills. This is more important than any stories on adult topics. At the same time, it is also an acquaintance with physiology, since sexual development is closely related to bodily development. When caring for children, it is very important to avoid wearing clothes that restrict their movement and chafe.
Education in preschool and primary school age is based on the principles of trust and goodwill. It is very important to be able to build an atmosphere of mutual respect. Then all questions will receive simple and clear answers. And this means that the child will not form a fad on the topic of sex.
The relationship between boys and girls at this age is also very important. Under the guidance of an adult, they develop such qualities as restraint, modesty, and the ability to help. This is facilitated by joint visits to theaters, museums, and various exhibitions. That is, relationships should be built against the backdrop of beauty, this is an excellent foundation. Often in preschoolage happens and the first love. This should also be treated with understanding, not to make fun of the child, but to understand and support him.
Sex and Sex Education
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that these concepts are different from each other. Sexual education is the awareness of belonging to a particular sex, awareness of oneself as a boy or a girl, the assimilation of the norms and rules of behavior associated with this. Parents and educators still somehow cope with this. But the sex is getting worse.
But despite the fact that this is not directly said, children observe the relationship of their parents. Gestures and facial expressions, hugs and kisses, stroking - all these are the first impressions that lay the foundation for understanding the relationship between a man and a woman. Voice sounds, emotional manifestations become an overlay that makes everything even clearer. When a child gets older, he has his own ideas and fantasies. Plus, indirect sexual perception (often distorted) begins to be influenced by TV, the Internet, the street.
Don't confuse sex education with promiscuity. Information should come to the child reliable, truthful, but strictly dosed. No need to give him more than he is able to understand today. For example, it is enough for a 3-4 year old baby to explain that he appeared in his mother's tummy, because mom and dad love each other.
Puberty
This age can be called very difficult. Sexual education of children at school is almost non-existent.underway, and it is very important. Boys and girls are vaguely aware of their growing sexuality and can hardly imagine where to direct this energy. Sports, communication, swimming and much more will help compensate for hormonal surges.
Parents should tell their children about the changes that await them. The appearance of secondary sexual characteristics is a sign that a person is growing up, it is not shameful and not scary. Girls need to be prepared for the appearance of menstruation, taught the rules of personal hygiene.
Main issues
Sexual education of children and adolescents is a complex and multifaceted topic. Adults forget themselves at this age and judge a little down. Especially acute is the issue of masturbation and sexual relations between a boy and a girl. In both cases, catching a teenager for such an act or suspecting him, the parents fall into a state of anxiety and begin to shame him. This cannot be done. If the relationship in the family is trusting, if your child knows from early childhood what the relationship between a man and a woman is, if this topic is not taboo, then most likely he will not be so drawn to try the forbidden fruit as soon as possible.
Teenage onanism is quite normal. Here you only need to be able to explain how and when this can be done, not forgetting the rules of hygiene. With sexual relations, everything is a little more complicated. But here, too, one must treat with understanding the entry into adulthood. It will not be superfluous to recall the means of contraception. Of course, the sexual education of girls in this regard is more difficult. young lady needsteach dignity, modesty, wisdom.
How to raise a man
At first glance, it's easier. But once you think about it, you realize that sex education for boys can be even more difficult. Their hormones are raging more strongly, and the natural craving for leadership creates certain problems for parents. But if you approach this issue wisely, then everything will be much easier. The easiest way to say is that until the age of 15 you can not think about it, and there the boy will already know everything himself. But practice shows that parental support for growing up a child is very important. It starts from the moment the boy is weaned. Now mom does not have to change clothes in front of him. To create in his head the image of a future wife, a modest and pure girl, she needs to behave appropriately.
Experience from different countries
Sexual education of children in Europe is customary to start early, and the first teacher for a boy should be dad. It is he who teaches to respect women, to be responsive, to be able to take responsibility for their words and deeds. From about 6 years old, the father will have to tell the growing child where the mysterious act called sex comes from. And during a confidential conversation, the son learns that there is nothing shameful in wet dreams, morning erections and other manifestations of growing up. It's just that a boy turns into a man, because it was the same with dad.
By the age of 11, a boy should already know everything about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases and other problemswhich arise due to the fact that partners rashly succumb to their desires. Do not panic even if a quiet and calm boy suddenly surprises with vulgar jokes. Prohibitions only fuel interest, so just emphasize that such words are inappropriate in a decent society.
What results have been achieved
In the cultures of different peoples, the task of education, including sexual education, was solved in their own way. Somewhere the relationship between a man and a woman was presented as natural. For other peoples, the topic was strictly taboo. Most often, those peoples who practiced early marriages were more calm about the topic of sex. If a girl was given in marriage when she was not even 11 years old, then her interest in this issue could simply not have time to wake up. And then the older women shared their experiences with her.
Sexual education of children in Germany starts at the age of 4. It is mandatory. There is a program for every age group. It covers different areas of life and expands as the child grows up. The topics of contraception and safe sex, LGBT relationships and ways to achieve orgasm are discussed. For teenagers, there are practical seminars on the use of contraceptives, classes are held on the topic of sexual violence and natural needs. Needless to say, this is bearing fruit. There are only 8 cases of early pregnancy and abortion per 1000 teenagers.
In Norway, sexual education of children is also compulsory and is included in the general education program for children aged 8-12. ByPublic television broadcasts programs that talk about growing up, secondary sex characteristics, what menstruation is and sex, what it is like. Why masturbation is not bad, and much more. The number of early pregnancies per 1000 adolescents is 9.
What books should parents read
It's very difficult to have a conversation with a child if you don't know how to formulate your thoughts, what you can say and what to leave behind the scenes. Sex Education books are here to help you.
- And one of the first books for parents can be called the creation of Mervi Lindman "How I Came into the World." The writer touches on many aspects of this issue, and makes it simple and accessible.
- Peter Mail "Where did I come from?". Another piece worth checking out. The author has a conversation with a child, talking about the differences between a man and a woman, the formation of the fetus inside the mother, contractions and childbirth.
- Virginie Dumont “Where did I come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children 5-8 years old. Excellent book of questions and answers. Moreover, the questions are formulated on behalf of the child. Parents can teach themselves how to answer, or give the child a book to study.
On the shelves of bookstores you can find other works that will help in the educational process.
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