Kabardian weddings: traditions and modernity

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Kabardian weddings today are not only joy and a beautiful sight. These are ongoing disputes, and sometimes conflicts. The fact is that the traditional, fully consistent with the old customs, the action should last more than one year.

The groom's family first looked for a worthy bride for a long time. Then, through her relatives, she proposed to her relatives. In case of consent (and it could not be given immediately), the families began to agree on the kalym. This was done slowly, but thoroughly. After that, the bride's bride-to-be took place, and later - the betrothal. All these actions were carried out strictly according to folk traditions, followed a strict ritual or, if you like, a script. When the groom brought in part of the kalym, the bride could be taken out of the parental home. The withdrawal process is also strictly regulated. It is no less spectacular than the Kabardian weddings themselves.

The girl was settled in one house, the groom - in another. Until the wedding, he could not see his relatives and especially the elders and the bride. Only after a long time the girl was brought to the groom's house, to the room where they would live. But she was only taken out to the common roomin a few weeks. Of course, this description is only the most concise summary of this holiday. The rituals are much more extensive, more colorful.

But today, few Kabardians strictly adhere to them. Even the most beautiful Kabardian wedding today contains only elements of folk culture: music, singing, sometimes national costumes. And it is this departure from historical traditions that revolts many Kabardians. What do the adherents of the ancient rites dislike the most?

Kabardian weddings today

Today, as in the old days, the bride can also be stolen. She is also settled in the house of relatives, but when her parents arrive, they ask the girl's consent. If she agrees, the Imam comes to the house and concludes the marriage. By the way, many believe that Kabardian weddings should take place in the house, and not in a restaurant. This is the first feature. If the bride does not agree, she can simply go home. This is also a feature of our time. After the conclusion of a Muslim marriage by the Imam, preparations for the wedding begin. Interestingly, the removal of the sheet after the wedding night, which is still practiced, especially in remote areas, is contrary to the traditions of Islam. However, few Kabardians and other Caucasians know about it. It is impossible to combine men and women at a traditional wedding. Tradition dictates that they party separately.

And, of course, the bride must be hidden from prying eyes.

And what is the most beautifulKabardian wedding today? This is a lot of luxuriously cleaned cars, fashionably dressed guests, girls in European dresses with bare shoulders, frank shooting of the bride and groom for the wedding video. Is it bad? Someone thinks that “Russified” or “European weddings” are a disgrace to the nation, another step towards the loss of national identity. Others think that modern beautiful Kabardian weddings with a European twist are a tribute to the times. Who is right? Probably, the answer to this question should be sought by the relatives of the bride and groom. Only they have the right to determine how much it is necessary to preserve the old traditions, and how much to use the methods of celebration generally accepted for the new time.