2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
In the age of social networks and online dating, the question of how to start a conversation and what topic to choose for conversation worries everyone who has ever encountered a similar situation.
People, for various reasons, have communication problems and are forced to puzzle over the question of how to behave when communicating with others. There are many different manuals on how to be an interesting conversationalist and what to talk about, if nothing. This topic is discussed in special courses, blogs and psychological literature.
Unfortunately, not everyone is given a natural charm and not everyone has a "suspended" tongue. It is far from easy for everyone to overcome shyness and fear of being rejected when they meet, and also to prove themselves as an interesting conversationalist who can talk not only about good weather.
Why we have nothingtalk
Before you bite your elbows and label yourself as a dull interlocutor, you need to try to find out why there is nothing to talk about with a new acquaintance or even with a person you have known for a long time.
The reasons for stiffness in communication are very diverse. Most psychologists conditionally identify the main causes of difficulties in building a conversation.
Misunderstanding
Most communication problems arise precisely because of a misunderstanding of communication algorithms. Dialogue turns from a natural process into an impossible task. A person simply cannot realize what to say to him, what manner of communication would be appropriate, what to talk about, if not about anything, and so on. The only way out in such a situation a person finds interruption of contact. Various aspects of building communication may be incomprehensible.
Behavior pattern
It is known that in different situations we build communication according to certain scenarios. They depend on the situation in which we are, with whom we are communicating at the moment. The key to choosing the right model of behavior is, first of all, the social status of the interlocutor: a close person, a subordinate or a boss. Some people confuse these concepts, which can negatively affect the communication process.
The result of such a substitution of concepts is familiarity or, on the contrary, an overly official or even arrogant attitude towards loved ones.
Formal and informal setting
Each team has certain rules of conduct. If it's an official group,then these rules are clearly spelled out, but in other cases, people have to independently adapt to the environment. Violation of the unspoken rules of communication is also not welcome, and if they are violated, one may experience difficulties in communication.
Non-verbal signs
One of the most important components of any dialogue is non-verbal communication. When a person does not know what to talk about, if nothing, he becomes nervous and chooses topics that are not entirely appropriate. Not every interlocutor can directly say that the topic of conversation does not suit him, then he begins to send various signals, including using sign language.
Emotions
They say that there are topics that you need to talk about especially carefully: these are politics and religion. Some jokingly add football to this list. In reality, this list is much wider, since any topic can be a trigger for the interlocutor and cause negative emotions in him. Black humor should be used with particular care.
Language
Language barrier is one of the most obvious reasons for communication difficulties. However, problems can also arise between speakers of the same language. It depends on the level of education, place of residence and upbringing of people.
Fear
Another common cause of communication problems is fear of communication. Fear can be caused by excessive shyness, complexes, traumas, the transfer of someone else's experience, and many other reasons. The main difference between this problem andmisunderstanding lies in the fact that, due to fear, communication may not begin at all.
Many people are afraid to express their emotions, talk about their thoughts and defend their point of view. Moreover, as a rule, most of them are afraid not so much to start a conversation as to be rejected, ridiculed. Often this problem is experienced by young people who do not know how to start a conversation with a girl. While their more daring comrades use any, even the most banal, methods of acquaintance to the fullest and are popular with the opposite sex.
Disgust
Personal animosity can also be a very good reason for communication difficulties. In this case, you don’t even have to think about what to talk about, if nothing. Under such circumstances, a person, in principle, has no desire to start, much less continue a conversation.
It is not for nothing that there is a proverb “meet by clothes”. The reason for personal disgust can be an untidy appearance, problems with personal hygiene, an external resemblance to an unpleasant person, and even a dubious reputation.
Interest
The problem of interest is a very subtle concept. Both insufficient and excessive interest in the interlocutor does not contribute to normal communication at all. Excessive interest in a person can cause him fear and, as a result, rejection. Lack of interest, logically, will simply nullify communication.
How to make communication easy and relaxed, and what to talk about if there is nothing?
First of all, you need to choose thosepeople with whom it is easy and pleasant to be around. Don't force yourself if you don't want to have a dialogue. Secondly, you just need to work on yourself and your self-esteem. Get rid of complexes, work through the traumas of the past, if necessary, contact a psychologist.
Apart from everything else, you need to develop: do what you love, read books, live a full life.
Of course, you need to learn not only to speak, but also to listen. Being an interesting interlocutor means not only chatting about yourself incessantly, but also giving a person a chance to speak out. The key to interesting and productive communication is the exchange of information and positive energy. Be yourself, drop fears and doubts, speak, listen and you will be happy!
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