2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Human communication is an integral part of establishing contact between people, defined through the initial exchange of information, followed by possible communication on an ongoing basis. Unfortunately, not everyone has the art to easily find a common language with the surrounding society. Often this applies to young people who are unable to cope with a sense of their own embarrassment and fear of meeting with the fair sex. How and what to talk about with a girl? How to find an approach to them? And what topics to start a conversation on so that communication does not end at the first conversation?
Why learning to communicate constructively is important
Modern society is built in such a way that without the formation of certain connections and relationships, it is difficult for an individual human unit to survive in the harsh framework of a demanding public. This is not surprising. In order to exist, it is necessary to find common points of contact with the outside world. This applies to all spheres of human activity: everyday life, family foundations, collegial working moments, and, ultimately, personal life. Therefore, it is important to learnget to know people. It is important to be able to find the correct approach to them. But how to learn how to behave correctly and what to talk about with girls while dating? This is the age-old problem of shy young people.
Adolescence is one of the most difficult moments of the restructuring of the minds of guys. During this period, they grow up and begin to see the world differently. Therefore, it is often at this time that difficulties arise when meeting the opposite sex. But, unfortunately, at the stage of primary puberty and the restructuring of the youthful worldview, the problem of communicating with girls does not end. Sometimes men carry excitement when communicating with ladies after a long time of their lives and only by the age of 30-40 do they realize that they have learned to overcome their, in fact, youthful excitement in front of women. And so that such a problem does not interfere with living and adapting normally to human relationships, it is very important to learn constructive communication.
How to overcome the fear of talking to girls
What to talk to girls about? This question often gnaws at young people in moments of desire to meet and strike up a conversation with an imposing young lady. How to be? To take the first step towards acquaintance, you must initially get rid of fear and overcome your shyness by fulfilling the settings set for yourself:
- Try to disengage from thoughts that it is necessary to approach and talk to a beautiful stranger, and imagine that this is, for example, a former classmate with whomsat at the same desk together for 11 years and with which there are a lot of common topics for conversation.
- Concentrate not on your own awkwardness, but switch it to the need to fulfill a given goal. The task in this case is to talk to a charming lady.
- Overcome the barrier that prevents starting a conversation, using the reverse method, that is, thinking in the opposite direction to fears: a girl will not laugh at an awkward, shy fool, on the contrary, she herself wants to meet a confident, pleasant stranger.
These simple psychological tricks will help a young man to overcome his fears and worries, and grow in his own eyes with the setting of further settings about what to talk with girls after the first couple of phrases of a friendly conversation.
How to behave at the first meeting
The correct model of behavior at the first meeting with a girl predetermines the further fate of communication with her and the development of events. At this point, the young man will either establish himself as an interesting and well-mannered guy, or make himself out to be a klutz. It is the fear of spoiling the first impression of oneself that often completely cuts off young people's desire to generally approach the object of their interest in the form of a girl and talk about anything with her.
A few simple tricks will allow a timid and shy guy to develop the correct behavioral strategy:
- Under no circumstances should you show your shyness. It scareswomen. By their nature, they are used to reaching only for strong and powerful personalities.
- Gently but confidently allow yourself to touch the lady - only in the form of a handshake, through tactile contact, indicate to the girl a firm intention to get to know her and chat on abstract topics, thereby endearing her.
- Be smiling and interested in her answers, but don't glare at her. This can, again, scare the lady away and make her think about some manic inclinations of the young man.
Having outlined for yourself the basic basics of the right habits when communicating with a young charmer, you need to think over your opening speech in advance, as well as what to talk about with a girl when meeting for the first few minutes, and go towards good luck.
How to have a dialogue
There is a kind of unspoken instruction among men that allows you to operate with a couple of simple phrases that can start a nice friendly conversation with a representative of the fair half without much effort:
- You need to start a dialogue with an abstract phrase. For example, if the young people are in the pastry department, you can casually say the phrase that "yes, the croissants here are really delicious, aren't they?", Or something like that.
- After throwing the first bait and evaluating the positive reaction of the wonderful stranger, you need to move on to the second phrase that can make the girl ask a counter question, something like: “but there is still a small nuance in the pastries of this wonderful place.”
- Having arranged the lady to him with two simple, and most importantly - completely abstract topics, you can move on to introducing yourself and giving your name. Having learned in response the name of the girl and continuing the dialogue with questions like: “how often do you come here?” or “Do you like the candy store here?”.
After several unobtrusive abstract topics of conversation, at the climax of the completion of the introductory dialogue, you need to gently and naturally ask the beautiful lady if she deigns to somehow despair together here with these delicious croissants. In 90% of a hundred, if a girl is free, she will not refuse a nice, suave young man.
What to talk about with a girl on a first date
It took only a couple of efforts, and here it is - the first date. What to talk about with the girl you like on the very first evening they spend together? How not to hit the face in the dirt? How not to scare her away with your awkwardness or stupid phrases?
It is necessary to think over what to talk about with a girl before leaving the house. Topics for conversation should be light, abstract, not complicated by the hardships of past experience or negative discussions of the current difficult human fate. These may be the following lines of pleasant conversation:
- talk about your superficial biography: you can discuss each other's age, professional field, family composition - introduce yourself to each other, so to speak, closer;
- specify hobbies and hobbies - it may turn out that the girl honors the talents of thosethe same musicians as the young man himself, or is a fan of the acting game of the laureate of the local theater, to whom her interlocutor also sympathizes;
- talk about plans for the future - talk about your goals, about trying to achieve them, about new opportunities for self-realization in this life as a person. Girls like driven men.
How to get a girl interested
If suddenly a guy notices that a girl is starting to get bored, it means that he is saying something off topic. We urgently need to revive the situation with some kind of trick in the form of a trick with a coin or a pleasant surprise in the form of a rose that appeared out of nowhere. The flower, of course, must be prepared in advance for such a situation - in any case, it will not disappear and will not interfere with this evening. According to the reaction of your interlocutor and her words, you need to quickly react to what she is ready to talk about, and actively take part in the discussion of this topic in order to interest the girl and continue a successful date.
How to make a girl laugh
There are moments of stupor when you get lost and don't know what to talk about with a girl next. You can save the situation with a protracted awkward pause with a pre-thought-out couple of jokes. However, a young man should not joke if he is not strong in this. His humorous reprises should be neat, easy to understand, abstracted - in a word, it should look like it is an improvisation.
You should not poison a girl with hackneyed jokes - many people do not like this humorous genre. Notit is also worth letting go of vulgar jokes - this will spoil the perception of the young man right away, and it will be quite difficult to prove to the lady this evening that he is not at all vulgar. You need to be natural and try to cheer up the beauty with your own wit and a cheerful approach to the conversation.
How to win over a girl
Topics for conversation with a girl on a first date should be conducive to communication. For example, ladies are very fond of men who favorably treat pets and all kinds of animals. This is a very winning game for a young man in the battle for the location of the charmer.
No less condescendingly sensitive natures in the face of women refer to men who honor family traditions and home comfort. Talking about joint trips and travels with relatives will make a girl softer and may even touch her with the warmth of family values.
Forbidden topics of conversation
In order not to spoil a pleasant evening in the company of a beautiful lady, you need to take into account some tips. What you absolutely cannot talk about with a girl is about three forbidden topics:
- politics - the destructive power of the opposing views of young people in relation to the current government will bring the whole evening down the drain;
- religion - differences in belief or perception of the spiritual world will not provide a noble ground for continuing sweet communication with a girl in the future;
- ex-love - discussing the negative qualities of a shameless ex-girlfriend or whining about heran unfair departure from a young man will put him in an idiotic position and push his current interlocutor away from him for a long time.
What not to do when talking to a girl
In addition to clear guidelines about what you need to talk with a girl and what you can’t talk about, you should remember the simple rules of communication on a date:
- don't roll your eyes when talking to a lady when she says something not entirely acceptable to a young man;
- no need to interrupt your interlocutor with your arguments and shouts;
- shouldn't repeat the same story over and over, even if it was funny - monotony tends to tire.
Internet communication
What can you talk about with a girl on the Internet? This is perhaps the easiest method of flirting of all, since a young person has a lot of advantages in preparing for a conversation:
- he can learn about the hobbies of the girl he likes from her audio recordings on the social network, her posts on various topics, her videos, and already boldly proceed from this when choosing the subject of their first chat conversation;
- correspondence has the privilege that, although it is conducted in real time, there is always a moment to think about the answer in the most successful form;
- it's much easier to make an appointment somewhere, knowing from the marks on the map in the girl's personal profile where she prefers to go most often.
Talking on the phone
And what to talk about with a girl on the phone? This is a little more difficult than communicating on the Internet, but still much easier than face-to-face contact with a girl, since the beauty on the other end of the wire, fortunately, cannot visually observe the excitement and feelings of her interlocutor. The telephone makes it possible to have a wide variety of conversations about movies, music, books, travel, hobbies, art, work or study, food preferences, and the like. Therefore, shy guys should take note of the possibility of facilitating their task through the initial communication on the phone, smoothly turning into a personal meeting and a pleasant pastime on a real date with a girl.
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