Why do we need children? Complete family. Adopted children

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

How many children should be in a family for everyone to be happy? Unfortunately, there is no single answer to this question. To solve such a dilemma for yourself, take into account all the life circumstances, which will be discussed below.

Flowers of life

Why do we need children? Perhaps, before a planned pregnancy, you should first of all ask yourself this question. Many women look back at relatives and others, blindly follow public opinion, or even deliberately bring their lives in line with outdated stereotypes. They have children simply because “it’s necessary”, without even thinking about how much physical and emotional strength they will have to invest in a child in the future, not to mention finances. Couples who, for whatever reason, are in no hurry to acquire a beloved child, become a real target for close relatives and colleagues: everyone considers it their duty to ask: "When?" and to remind you that time is running out, and late delivery is fraught with countless risks andhazards.

From extreme to extreme

On the other hand, families with many children face a different kind of attack. Mother-heroines are often despised for a large number of "backbiters" if the family does not live well and cannot afford timely home repairs or the purchase of new children's toys. "Flowers of Life" seems to be turning from delicious chubby babies to unpaid loans, second-hand clothes, worn out shoes by someone else and cheap sweets instead of trendy chocolate eggs. People forget that a full-fledged family is a unity of different, but infinitely related souls, and not just a couple of we althy or poor adults and a flock of their offspring.

Everyone chooses for themselves

Recently, such a social phenomenon as childfree has become widespread - a social movement that proclaims free thinking regarding the completeness of the family and the absence of children in it. Childfree often sincerely do not understand why children are needed, and deliberately refuse to procreate, not wanting to tie their hands and feet with the need to look after and care for a little peanut. They believe that there are already too many people on the globe, and without their contribution to the replenishment of humanity, the world will easily manage. Adherents of this approach highly value their own freedom, the ability to go anywhere and do what they want, to spend time as they see fit. They do not need extra obligations and senseless, in their opinion, chores. Childfree live for themselvesand for a loved one.

The direct opposite of childfree are mothers and fathers with many children. They do not even wonder why they need children, and do not dream of a child of a certain gender. They give birth to many years simply because they feel their destiny in this, because their hearts demand to give a lot of love, because in children they find solace, emotional protection from external experiences, a deep hope that everything will always be fine. Such an opinion also has every right to exist.

Pressure from outside

It seems society will always be unhappy. If you don't have kids, then you need to have them. If the child is alone, he really needs a brother or sister. If there are two children, then it would be good to give birth to a third and get the status of a large family in order to enjoy the appropriate social privileges. And if there are more than three children… In the latter case, most people move from positive recommendations to negative assessments and criticism.

When the child is alone

Meanwhile, no one wonders why a couple has only one child and why spouses are in no hurry to have many children. Often, women with a single peanut are among those who once followed the lead of relatives or public opinion and gave birth to a son or daughter just because "it's necessary." Young mothers, initially not ready to communicate with a small child, found themselves in a serious stressful situation, fell under the influence of postpartum depression and took out only negative things from their first experience of motherhood.and bad experiences. Of course, they do not want to have more children, because they are afraid of repeating the nightmare that they have already experienced once. There is no time to sleep, no strength to clean the apartment, no patience to listen to children's cries and treat the baby for incessant colic, no money for milk formula, since breast milk either did not come, or burned out too early … There is no desire to live. This is a typical picture of postpartum depression, guaranteed even before the moment of conception to every woman who is not mentally ready to become a mother.

No brothers or sisters

Of course, there are other reasons not to have more than one child. For some, procreation is not a priority in life: it is enough to communicate with a single, but infinitely beloved child. Someone simply cannot conceive or give birth safely and continues to struggle with the terrible diagnosis of "infertility" or an unbearable series of missed pregnancies. Gynecological diseases in women and violations of the composition of sperm in men, financial problems and uncertainty about the future, not the happiest experience of raising a first child - these are far from all the reasons to seriously ask yourself why children are needed and come to the conclusion that one single offspring. Is it worth it to condemn people who have come to this conclusion? Should I keep reminding them that it's still possible to "go for second"?

Foster children

The social institution of adoption can, perhaps, be considered one of the most successful. The opportunity to officially take someone else's child under your wing and raise him as your own has brought long-awaited happiness to thousands and millions of childless couples. They prefer to take newborn babies - "refuseniks" - from orphanages, so that the child does not even remember his own mother and considers adoptive parents to be blood. However, older children have a chance to find happiness in a new family. Many of them ended up in shelters after the deprivation of parental rights by single mothers. Having learned from their own experience how hard it is to live with drinking and cruel parents, these small, but far from naive children do not always immediately attach themselves to kind and loving hearts. And yet, having seen a significant difference in attitude, they often fully return the love given to them and treat new parents much more tenderly than some youngsters with their real dad and mom. Adopted children, taken into a new family at a conscious age, remain forever grateful to those who saved them from the hardships of the orphanage. Everyone can do this good deed - to adopt a child left without parental care. But first, think: are you sure that you can give him everything that you would give to your blood child?

A couple of words about the meaning of life

So, why do we need children? "To be"? To satisfy their own maternal and paternal instincts, laid down by nature? To grow worthy people out of them in the future? Are children thus the meaning of life?

Amazing answer to the question "why" gave AlbertEinstein. In his opinion, any such question can be answered as follows: a person acts one way or another only because by the corresponding deed, statement or action he creates a feeling of satisfaction for himself and for others. Indeed, let's go back to the first example. There is a social need to have a child. By giving birth to her first child, a woman satisfies, on the one hand, her own maternal instinct and follows the biologically dictated need to preserve the family, and on the other hand, satisfies the needs of a society that requires children in almost every family. Einstein's principle is easily applicable to any other situation. What for? To get a sense of satisfaction! If you need children for personal happiness, do not look back at social stereotypes - have as many as you want and can afford. If you don't need it - again, don't react to the attacks and claims of others, stay childfree.

It's only your choice.