Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, "How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk": book reviews

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

This article is for parents who love their child. It often happens that relatives cannot find mutual understanding, especially if there is a generational conflict. It was with the aim of improving relationships with their child that the authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish released a famous book. So let's find out what it is about, and what the authors specifically offer.

A little about writers

The authors of this bestseller are two women experts in dealing with children. Adele Faber is a famous psychologist and educator, Elaine Mazlish is her good friend and like-minded person. They have their own families, and each of them has three children. However, upbringing brings almost no difficulties when a mother can exert the right influence not only on her family, but also share advice with other parents. With such rich experience, the writers decided that the book would be based only on personalexperience. The main component of this bestseller is a description of life situations that happened to them.

Contents

The book provides us with a kind of guide on how to speak so that children will listen. Simply put, this literature teaches proper communication with your own child. Here you will not find a boring theoretical aspect, only a positive approach and incidents taken from personal experience. The authors use their own example to show how to act in a given situation. Women urge not to forget that your child is also a person and requires an individual approach to him. Also, a book on how to talk so that children listen, teaches the correct formulation of speech and maintaining the parent's self-control in any, even in a conflict situation.

Book format

The bestseller has been translated into several languages and presented not only in print but also in audio format. The writers also gave educational seminars, and later the book included some communication stories told by parents who attended classes. In the author's arsenal there is more than one book on child psychology. Their literature covers the rules of behavior with children of different ages, as well as with teenagers, brothers and sisters. And finally, there is a separate copy, especially for parents. Books can be found freely on the Internet, as well as in any bookstore. Their circulation is quite high.

Practical advice from the authors

As already known, inHow to Talk So Kids Will Listen presents a variety of situations from life and gives advice on how to act. Let's try to formulate the main content in brief words. Consider the basic "commandments" of good parents.

1. Give children the right to choose

This approach will allow the child to learn to control his life, as well as become more independent. It is not necessary to let him choose everything from everything. It is enough to provide a couple of options that will suit both you and the child.

2. Show respect for effort and effort

You don't have to tell your little one that what he is doing is easy. We use this phrase for encouragement and support, but the child perceives everything differently. If you fail to complete the task, there is a feeling of frustration due to defeat in an easy task. Therefore, just praise and guide the little one, regardless of the complexity of the task.

3. Don't bombard with questions

Confidence that by asking a child about some subject or process, you stir up his interest is a common mistake of many parents. Most children in this situation prefer to simply shrug off their parents. Wait until the child wants to talk to you. You can even just show interest and listen silently. Then everything will become known and clear.

4. Don't rush to answer

Sooner or later, your child comes to the age when from his mouth andquestions are pouring in: "Why", "How", "Where" and many others. But do not rush, after the next word, fleetingly select an answer and explanation. Let the child think about the question for a while and find the answer or solution for himself. Such an action will bring more benefits and allow thinking to develop better.

5. Searching for information outside the home

It is important to teach the child that outside the apartment there are also a lot of things that will help him in understanding the world. Explain that you can and should contact not only parents, but also various other sources and resources.

6. Don't take away hope

When a child dreams and fantasizes, he gets a lot of new emotions. If we overprotect it and guard every step, we will deprive children of the experience they need.

Reviews from readers

After studying Internet resources with a description of the book by readers, we can conclude that the majority of votes are "for". The book "How to talk so that children listen …" reviews leaves only positive. People believe that this manual should be a desktop for every parent. It contains only instructive moments! A book about how to talk so that children will listen makes parents think about their speech and its perception. Here is what the authors write:

We rarely think about how we talk, what we talk about, and even less often how our child feels. Few of us put ourselves in his place. Even before I had kids of my own, I was 100%I'm sure I know how to raise them. And how wrong I was…

And indeed, the authors of the book offer parents to put themselves in the place of their children and feel for themselves the possible options for developing a dialogue. The whole range of emotions from the outside can be caught even in a visual form. In the book on how to talk so that children will listen, the dialogues are presented in the form of pictures. You can just look at yourself from the outside and everything will become clear.

Most of the readers write that you need to study the book slowly and preferably more than once. An important element is the implementation of all the exercises described in the book. After all, everything read will be absorbed in memory gradually. Each time, analyzing the situation that happened, you can find something new and understand what was not clear before.

Many mothers admit that not all and not always apply the advice. The reason is simple - sometimes they get tired, they forget, sometimes emotions take over. But the main thing is to try to learn something from the book "How to talk so that children will listen, and how to listen so children will speak", learn to apply.

In conclusion, we can say that the allowance is really important and necessary for those who cannot find a common language with their own child. First of all, the authors urge us to understand it and learn to listen, no matter what. Psychologists call only for sincere praise and respect for children's choice, for accepting his feelings and for issuing only fair verdicts. It is impossible to be an ideal mother always and in everything, but you can approach the model of perfection, which is what the authors of the book abouthow to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk.