Giving a compliment seems incredibly easy. But people get hundreds of nice words from their friends, colleagues and acquaintances. And if you really like a person, you want your compliment to impress and be remembered for a long time. Today we'll talk about how to stand out from the crowd of fans and admirers, just by saying a couple of nice words to a person.
Before you know what to say to the person you like, you need to understand why, in general, please the interlocutor with nice words. People are all selfish. You may not have noticed, but in any conversation, a person talks about himself. He can share worldly wisdom, tell funny stories from his own practice, or brag about something. Of course, it is common among people to talk about politics, books and films. But even in them, “I think”, “I think”, “in my opinion” often slips. Therefore, complimenting a person is one way to draw his attention to the fact thathe doesn't care about you. Yes, of course, pleasant words do not oblige you to anything and, in general, carry a small semantic load. But the fact that you are not talking about yourself, but about him, will be deposited in the mind of a person. In psychology, this is called "directing the spotlight." And the easiest way to talk about an opponent is to say a few nice words to him.
The best way to give a compliment
We all know that a spoon is good for dinner. Therefore, you need to make a compliment at the right time. If you tell a girl that she had such a wonderful hairdo last night, she won't take it in a positive light. Most likely, she will think that today she has a crow's nest on her head, and you are trying so subtly to hint about it.
Therefore, it is necessary not only to choose the right words, but also the moment of their presentation. It is desirable to talk about the present. You can only talk about the past if it is somehow intertwined with the present day. For example, your interlocutor advised you to read a book a week ago. And yesterday you finished reading it. Today it would be appropriate to say about what a person has a good taste for literary works. Here you should be guided by the rule “never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”
Gestures and facial expressions are even more important. Each of us has heard at least something about NLP techniques. We know that a person is pleased when they look at him during a conversation. And the whole pose should show interest. That is, it should not be such that yourthe head looks at the interlocutor, and the body is already turned in the other direction and one leg is already walking towards the door.
Compliments to a girl
Women of any age are always pleased to hear how beautiful they are. Therefore, do not forget to remind them of this. Complimenting is not about clothes. After all, a dress without an owner means nothing. Therefore, it is worth telling a woman about how beautiful she looks in a new dress, that this color suits her, and her already graceful figure looks simply divine. If you do not want to focus on clothes, then what compliment can you give a girl? You can sing about her spiritual qualities, not her appearance. The hackneyed phrase “you have such beautiful eyes” is no longer relevant. It is worth saying that the girl is sweet, gentle, kind and smart. Such words may be banal, but it is very pleasant to hear them. It would be appropriate to praise the girl's intelligence, but this must be done in a timely manner. Like when she quotes a passage from a classic.
Compliments to the guy
Some people think that men don't need praise. This is not true. How can you compliment a guy? You can mention his attractiveness, but usually men already consider themselves irresistible. Therefore, such words for them will be taken for granted. It is better to focus on his gallantry and manners. Yes, it may be trite to thank a person for helping you put on your coat or opening the door for you, but thennot all men do it. This is where you can focus your attention. After all, your friend is one of the few who truly appreciates the female gender.
How to compliment a guy without focusing on his mannerisms or looks? You can look at his accomplishments. All people are pleased when they are praised. And it's especially nice for guys. After all, in order to succeed in life, you need to go through a thorny path. And at the end of this path, well-deserved praise and rewards should await you.
Compliments to the older generation
At any age you want to hear nice words. So what kind of compliment can you make, for example, to your parents? Well, of course, they will be pleased to hear that their concern for you means a lot. Indeed, in most cases, parents have spent their entire lives raising their children to be good people. And at the end of their lives, sitting in an armchair and drinking strong tea, they want to hear that all their efforts were not in vain.
If an older person is not included in the circle of people close to you, then you can make a compliment about their children. After all, all parents want to know that their merits are noticed by others. And children are the main project in the life of every person. Speaking of achievements, we can say that they can be focused on. People love to hear that their work is helping someone.
Compliment to photo
In the digital age, it has become fashionable to share the best moments of your life with each other. These frames can be viewed in social pages: "VKontakte",Facebook or Instagram. People don't just post them. The purpose of such actions is to assert oneself at the expense of others, and to share a part of one's life with the world. It is quite easy to make a beautiful compliment to a girl or a guy in a comment. One has only to think about how to stand out from the crowd of people who write: beauty, cutie and charming. Such platitudes are pleasant to read, but a conversation after such a modest compliment will not be able to start. It’s better to write something like: “In this photo you have the gesture of a confident person who can achieve everything in this life” or “With a tan, your magnificent figure looks like it was cast in bronze by the hand of a great master.” These phrases are not banal, at least they show that a person spent his time thinking and writing a comment.
How to respond to a compliment?
In our country, people are not used to saying nice words to each other. And as a result, when a girl is complimented about her beauty, she most likely will not react in any way. But a person who dares to say nice words will be offended, and next time he will think twice about saying them again. Don't play on people's feelings. You need to learn how to respond to compliments. Even a banal phrase about beautiful eyes should at least smile. And if a person deftly put a phrase about your high level of intelligence into a conversation, you should not leave it unattended. It is advisable to thank the speaker. Thus, you will show the interlocutor that you are listening carefully and notmiss out on a single detail. And remember, if a person compliments you, then most likely he liked you. And if you like him too, then thanks to the response word, you can start a conversation, during which there will be an opportunity to get to know each other better.
If a compliment is made to you by a dear person, for example, a wife, you should not ignore the words either. After all, even after 10 years of marriage, romance does not die. And it is thanks to the sweet words and occasional encouragement of actions and decisions in many marriages that love lives forever.
How should you act to get compliments?
To get positive feedback from others, it is not enough to buy a new dress every week. After all, as you know, they only meet by clothes. Therefore, if you want to receive compliments all the time, you will have to monitor not only your wardrobe and figure, but also your intellectual development. Girls and guys should be interesting conversationalists so that people can quickly find a topic for conversation with them. For this purpose, it is desirable to spend your leisure time not watching TV, but reading books. It is desirable to develop a broad outlook. This is quite possible today if, instead of the standard comedy series at breakfast, you watch a program about technical breakthroughs or novelties in the pharmaceutical market. Such interesting facts can then be shared with friends and relatives.
What not to say?
Sometimes people give such compliments that you want to close your ears and go to another room. CostsRemember that you don't always have to be original. If you do not know what to say, it is better to remain silent, so you will seem smarter and not get into a ridiculous situation.
How to give a compliment? It is necessary to say pleasant words, focusing on an act or certain features of appearance. Phrases such as: "you're doing well", "you're smart" are not specific. It will be difficult for a person to understand what you are praising him for. If you want to use this construction, complete it: “well done for fulfilling my request so quickly.”
If you want to compliment your loved one in a public place, don't call them sunshine or kitty. It is better to address a person by name, and leave tenderness for a personal conversation. You should not mention the details of your personal life as a public compliment. This will not please everyone.