2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Children are the flowers of our life. But often they cause a lot of trouble with their uncontrollable behavior. Sometimes they have sudden emotional outbursts. Short-term tantrums may also appear in children 2-3 years old. Such seizures, at first glance, can begin and end for no reason at all. This is what worries parents. After all, when you don’t understand the reasons for what is happening, it is difficult to figure out what influenced such an emotional manifestation and how to help your baby. Only a qualified child psychologist can help parents radically in such a situation. But some even have no idea what to do if a child throws tantrums at the age of 3, why this happens. This is what will be discussed in the article.
What are baby tantrums?
Hysteria is a strong nervous excitement, accompanied by a nervous breakdown and loss of self-control. As a rule, this can be observed in the period when the child has reached 3-5 years. Tantrums at this time are manifested by loud children's screams, strong crying, waving arms andlegs. He can even roll from an excess of emotions on the floor. In the process of a seizure, the baby is not able to adequately respond to the questions of the parents and their sedative actions. He sometimes does not even hear the exhortations of adults. Therefore, the usual methods of calming the child have no effect.
Hysterics as a way of manipulation
According to psychologist Elena Makarenko, tantrums in children 3 years old, up to the age of five, can be a way of manipulating parents. If with the help of this the kids can achieve the goal they were striving for, then they will use this method constantly. Moreover, they can start testing this technique even from the age of two. Although, in addition to manipulative, there are many more reasons for a child to behave inappropriately at 3-4 years old. Tantrums appear suddenly and just as suddenly stop, confusing parents and absolutely not shedding light on what needs to be done and how to resist it.
Such strange behavior of a child should not be left completely unattended. Because the reasons can be much deeper than simple manipulation by adults. Against the background of misunderstanding and unwillingness of adults to delve into the problems of the crumbs, she may develop such a very unpleasant nervous disease as hysteria. But in this case, you also need to react correctly.
The correct reaction of adults and the nuances of tantrums at two years old
But what tactics should parents choose if a 3-year-old child has a tantrum? What to do - do not react in any way or punish as a misdemeanor,soothe or try to prevent? Adults need to pay attention to what factors turned out to be provocative for the onset of hysteria, and on the basis of this, already build their own tactics. But one thing is clear - this important issue should not be left unattended in any case. In the course of searching for the causes of a child's hysterical behavior, attention should be paid to some features characteristic of different ages.
At the age of two, babies often use tantrums to get the attention of adults. This is especially true in crowded places where the attention of parents is directed not to the child, but to other things and objects. As a rule, this happens in shops and children's entertainment areas in order to get the desired toy or visit to the attraction. Accompanied by a fit of screaming and crying, because at his too young age the child does not know how to otherwise protest against the prohibitions of his parents. A tantrum can also happen because the baby is tired or because he is hungry. The baby can stomp his feet and scatter toys when she does not like the change in the daily routine or the attention of adults decreases. In many cases, this behavior of the child is caused by tensions in the family, where adults sort things out, quarrel, divorce, not understanding how detrimentally this affects their cub.
A three-year-old child. Why is he having tantrums?
When a tantrum occurs in children of 3 years old, its causes are already deeper and more diverse. Psychologists consider this age the most critical for the manifestation of suchseizures. At this time, an emotional breakdown can occur literally from scratch. At this point in life, even the most obedient and quiet children begin to show obstinacy and disobedience. Of course, due to the individual character, these manifestations may differ in intensity and power, but they certainly appear.
Suddenly the baby stops listening to the instructions of adults and begins to stubbornly, show independence and self-will, to act contrary to what his parents require of him. Most often this is a way to achieve what the child wants. After all, he still does not know how to concede or find compromises. If a tantrum occurs in children of 3 years old, then it is very important to make sure that this does not become a habitual manipulation of parents for the baby. Once having yielded to such a demand of the child, be prepared for the fact that this method has already been adopted by them. And he will continue to use such a powerful means of getting what he wants.
If adults manage to resist the little tricks of their baby and this does not become a habit for him, then literally by four or five years the tantrums will stop. The child will become older and will already be able to more clearly express his desires and protests in a verbal way. This will make him calmer and his emotions more controlled.
Causes of tantrums
If a tantrum occurs in children of 3 years old, then there must be reasons for this. And a small person has a lot of them:
- lack of attention, the desire to attract the attention of adults;
- a way to achieve what you want;
- dissatisfaction with the actions or words of adults;
- lack of sleep;
- hunger or thirst;
- weather influence - heat, cold, rain;
- very tired;
- not feeling well, onset of illness;
- imitate the behavior of adults;
- too insistent display of guardianship;
- frequent punishments.
According to psychologist Elena Makarenko, who conducts trainings for parents on this issue, the main reason for tantrums are prohibitions and punishments. Also, the child is well able to learn from someone else's experience. If he sees that such behavior helped another child to achieve the goal, then he will certainly use this scheme. Parents should not take this behavior of the child as a desire to piss them off. Since the baby does not yet understand such subtleties, he just wants to defend his opinion and outlook on life. What should parents do if a 3-year-old child has a tantrum? What to do in order to stop her and calm the baby?
What should parents do when children have tantrums?
Since the majority of tantrums are about drawing attention to the child's persona, adults should work to help the toddler learn to express their desires in a more calm way. If a child throws tantrums at 3 years old, then he should clearly demonstrate that this method is ineffective. And if he calmly asks for something and tries to convince his parents that it is important for him, he will be able to achieve what he wants much more.faster.
When you can trace what factors influence the adequacy of a child's behavior, you will be able to simply prevent their occurrence. In any case, you need to teach the baby to respond correctly to a variety of things and situations that can provoke tantrums in a 3-year-old child. Tips for parents will help you understand when and how to behave with a hysterical child.
Rules
First of all, parents themselves must learn to notice characteristic changes in the child's mood in time and control the onset of emotional outbursts. But if the seizure has already begun, parents need to follow these simple rules:
- In no case do not panic, remain completely calm and defiantly show that such ugly behavior of the child will not get through to you.
- Note what exactly served as a catalyst for children's hysteria - maybe to calm the child it is enough to stop making long visits with him to your friends and acquaintances, where he can be bored and tiring. Perhaps he was upset by failures in a computer game or some kind of TV show. Or maybe he starts to have an increase in body temperature due to an illness, and the baby, feeling unwell, whimpers and annoys. By replacing problematic activities with others that bring positive, or by treating on time, you will prevent tantrums and nip these problems in the bud.
- Try to ignore the emotional outburst, remaining completely indifferent to screaming and crying.
- If the tantrum is just beginning and has notof great strength, you can try to find mutual understanding with the baby, asking what upset him so much, or switch his attention to something interesting for him. The distraction is often very effective and keeps the child from throwing a tantrum.
- If you can clearly see that this is manipulation, stand firm and do not give in until the baby asks for something calmly.
- Often a simple caress - stroking the head or body, patting the back, hugging you - solves the problem very quickly.
- Never try to punish a child during a tantrum - you will achieve the exact opposite result. It is better to postpone all conversations about misbehavior and parental maxims until the time when the baby calms down and can adequately perceive and take note of them.
Night tantrums
Very often there are night tantrums in a child of 3 years. This is also a very common phenomenon that occurs in almost all babies. This usually occurs about an hour after falling asleep and can happen several times a night. This can be provoked by a poorly ventilated room, a terrible fairy tale told at night, or a cartoon that has struck the imagination of the crumbs. This is easy to deal with - caress, calm down, stay for a while with the baby, and she will fall asleep sweetly.
But what if a child at 3 years old has a tantrum at night very often or even several times a night? More serious and painstaking measures will be required. In this case, try to ask the child what is behind his nightmare. Analyze how his day went, what he did and with whom he talked, what games he played and what movies he watched. Knowing the reason why a child at 3 years old wakes up with a tantrum at night, you can fight his seizures.
How to avoid night tantrums? Bedtime Rules
In any case, you need to learn how to properly prepare your baby for bed:
- Make sure that the child's room is well ventilated before going to bed - oxygen-rich air promotes sound and restful sleep.
- Pay attention to the fact that closer to sleep he does not play active exciting games - let him calmly draw or spit figures, this will relax his nerves and let him go to sleep peacefully.
- After hygiene procedures, do not put the baby to sleep immediately - read something kind and pleasant so that he sees magical dreams and is not afraid of anything.
- Decorate a fun and pleasant children's room, buy some cute little nightlight in the form of a kind smiling face, so that, waking up in the middle of the night, the baby finds himself in a calm, familiar atmosphere and can continue his sleep.
Prevention of hysterical outbursts in children
What should parents do when there are constant tantrums in a child of 3 years old? The advice of psychologists boils down to the fact that it is better not to allow them. If the baby begins to act up, try to find out the reason that worsened his mood. Perhaps the reason for irritation is so insignificant that it will be very easy to avoid hysteria. You can very well distract the child from the whims, if you make him laugh. to him immediatelya good mood returns, and he laughs with pleasure. The child needs to be taught by his own example how to clearly express different emotions - anger, joy, anger, fatigue, fear, simple irritation, displeasure with someone's actions, and so on, that there is no need to throw tantrums, but to resolve emerging disagreements through negotiations and compromises.
As a result, the kid should learn that what he wants can be obtained in a less nervous way, especially since in the adult world tantrums will not help him in any way, but proper negotiation is very useful. Of course, the development of such a science will take not a day or a month, but it's worth it. In addition, it disciplines and stops tantrums in a child of 3 years. At the same time, the advice of a psychologist will not be superfluous and will help save you and your baby from problems. Here are some recommendations that will allow you to exclude any tantrums from your relationship as a phenomenon. Compliance with these rules will make not only the child calmer, but also his parents, who will have to demonstrate to the baby all these psychological wisdom and an acceptable model of behavior in society and the family by their own example.
Recommendations for parents from psychologists
It is quite possible to avoid tantrums in a 3 year old. The advice of psychologists will help to build preventive measures correctly. Experts will tell you how to respond adults to the hysterical discontent of children. Remember these simple rules and follow them incommunicating with your child:
- Strict observance of the daily routine will eliminate such irritating factors as fatigue, drowsiness, hunger. Having got used to a clear schedule, the child's body will not declare its needs at the wrong time and will save the child from feeling discomfort, and you from his tantrums about this.
- Preparing your baby for the life changes that will happen when he goes to kindergarten. Tell him in detail what and how will happen in this new life for him and how he is supposed to behave in new circumstances.
- Demonstration of the firmness of the parent's word that no tantrums will make you change your mind, but you can hear the kid's arguments about the ban, and if they are reasonable and do not damage his safety, you can come up with an option that will satisfy him.
- The need for bans - you don't need to veto literally everything. A parental weighty prohibition should concern serious and significant things and should be understandable to the child, because it is not at all the same thing - to eat something at an inopportune time and walk on the roadway or swim in the river unaccompanied by adults.
- Having a choice - teach your baby to make a choice, allowing him to make an important decision for him: take a car or a soldier with him to kindergarten, put on a jacket or overalls, tie a bow or use a hairpin. All this is very useful in life, and with age, tasks can become more complicated.
Advice from practicing psychologist Elena Makarenko
Remember, a child desperately needs attentionparents and other close relatives. He must be sure that he is loved at home and always welcome - this feeling of being needed is much more soothing than mere words.
And finally, some good advice from Elena Makarenko:
- During a tantrum, calmly tell the baby: "My sunshine, I can't understand what you want, when you scream like that, please say it calmly so that I can hear."
- If the hysteria is already raging with might and main, then it is better to leave the baby alone, slowly looking after him - when the object for which this performance was started is eliminated, the tantrum will become unnecessary and subside by itself.
- After a seizure, do not scold or reproach the child, just calmly explain to him that when he screams, it is impossible to hear and understand him.
- Don't flatter yourself that once ignored hysteria will remain in the past - it will take some time to consolidate the material and move to a new communication model. Be patient and consistent in your efforts to rid your child of tantrums.
Small conclusion
Now you know why three-year-olds have tantrums. Understanding the psychological underpinnings of this behavior of your child will help you find a common language with him and always understand each other.
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