I don't want to sleep with my husband. I do not want intimacy with my husband, what should I do?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

The candy-bouquet period is always beautiful: long romantic walks, kissing under the moon and calls every ten minutes on a mobile phone. Enjoying this wonderful time, we are sure that it will be like this forever. But the gray monotonous life, which further hangs over the relationship, is able to absorb even the most sincere and passionate love. At the same time, women often do not want intimacy and try to avoid it in any way.

Main reasons

I don't want to sleep with my husband… This problem is often raised on various forums by worried ladies. Their unenviable marital status is commented on by all and sundry, often mocking a cold woman or accusing her of frigidity. Instead of reading all this nonsense, it is better to contact a psychologist who will tell you about the main reasons for reluctance. Experts identify several pitfalls that stand in the way of your "sexual" happiness:

• Stress. They do not allow the wife to relax and tune in to the right wave.
• Diets and birth control pills. They can lower the level of libido.
• Some character traits of a husband: rudeness,passivity, untidiness, lack of hygiene.
• Hormonal changes in the body due to the birth of a baby.

In these cases, the problem can be solved by canceling hormonal drugs, waiting for the period until he alth is restored after childbirth, simply by talking frankly with a man about his way of life, habits and character. If the cause is not found, and the woman continues to say: "I don't want sex with my husband!" – in this situation, you need to understand in detail.

If the husband is not macho

Perhaps this is the problem. And a woman cannot admit to a man that his sexual abilities, alas, do not give her the desired pleasure. When they first met, the girl did not notice this, since romance hid a lot. Movies, candlelight dinners, and hugs at every turn smoothed out the rough edges, and you didn't attach much importance to incompatibility in bed. But now the veil has been lifted from my eyes. And the woman is not quite comfortable next to the chosen one. And she mentally asks herself the question: “I don’t want a husband… What should I do in this situation?”

Psychologists advise a girl to directly tell her soul mate what does not suit her. Together, the problem will be solved. If the reason is the lack of arousal, you can ask your husband to pay more attention to petting. Let him seduce again, become playful, passionate. A man is obliged to take off his old family swimming trunks, in which he used to wallow in front of the TV, and put on a frank and sexyunderwear. If the lady is not satisfied with the duration of sexual intercourse, her chosen one must bring her to the peak of pleasure in another way: oral sex, for example.

Unclear

This condition is familiar to every woman. She is 100% sure: the process is far from amazing and enchanting, but she cannot understand exactly where improvement is required. She just doesn't like going to bed, and she sighs doomedly: "I don't want to sleep with my husband …" As a result, it's easier to refuse than to puzzle over in search of unsuccessful and annoying moments of physical intimacy.

In this case, the lady still has to find time to sit down and figure it out. Because no one else can solve the problem except for her. If the husband is correct, attentive, gentle, accurate, loves his wife's cooking and respects her mother, then the girl needs to look for reasons deep inside herself. Maybe she just needs a break or a variety in poses and locations. Then, so that there is no barrier called "I do not want closeness with my husband," you can wave to the sea or the mountains. A change in the usual atmosphere, new acquaintances and adventures can revive the former passion and save the couple from an unwanted divorce.

Persistence

The couple did not agree in temperaments: he wants several times a day, and two sexual acts a week are absolutely enough for her. And when the husband again "wants" his soul mate, she wants to run wherever her eyes look. The wife does not ask herself: "Why don't I want a husband?" She firmly knows the answer to this question - she got it. Yes, this happens often. Tireless rabbit in the facethe faithful pester a woman, even when the surrounding reality does not favor physical intimacy: she is busy in the kitchen or preparing a report for a conference. Or just not in the mood to go to bed here and now. In addition, the girl is offended that they look at her only as an object of desire, ignoring the two higher educations she received, knowledge of Shakespeare in the original and written philosophical articles.

There are two ways out. The first - the wife refuses, but runs the risk of finding out in six months that the chosen one has a mistress. The second is to agree, relax and have fun. And this is the best way, because with age, such moments will occur less and less. And in general, rejoice that you are wanted. Many women can only envy this state of affairs.

Flaw

A woman who is used to repeating: "I don't want sex with my husband" often lacks something. Psychologists say: a lack of communication can lead to the fact that feelings between spouses cool. In this case, the couple needs to spend as much time together as possible: go on picnics on weekends, take vacations and time off at the same time. If there are children, it is better to leave them with their grandmother so that the husband and wife can fully enjoy the common pastime.

At the same time, a man should take an active part in his wife's personal life, share her interests, support plans, and engage in a common hobby. Do not be afraid, no one forces the head of the family to cross-stitch, butwatching a romantic melodrama together is quite within his power. In addition, this will delight the lady, she will take a fresh look at relationships in marriage, especially on their physical side. The chosen one should take an active part in household chores, go shopping together and help children with their homework. Thus, he will unload her everyday life: the lady will not get tired, while the desire for intimacy will arise in her much more often than before.

Complexes

They develop from childhood and prevent the beautiful half of humanity from living and loving. Any physical defect makes the wife ashamed of her body. And at the next bachelorette party, say to your friends: "I don't want to sleep with my husband!" A girl may avoid intimacy if she has small or too large breasts, a scar on her stomach, or crooked legs. Convincing a wife that she is loved for who she is is sometimes very difficult. If the lady is so obsessed with the problem, you can correct the flaw through surgery. Consultation with a psychologist will also help, who will teach a woman to love herself no matter what.

Chill in a relationship can appear even when a girl feels a lack of her sexuality, beauty, seductress skills. She is ashamed of her flabby tummy and silently envies the fit beauties that the gentleman stares at. To feel confident coquette, a lady should go in for sports, eat right and sign up for geisha courses. This will radically change her attitude towards sex - in a positive way.

Is a lover the way out?

This waymany women try to cut the Gordian knot. It seems to them: if the husband does not cause proper emotions and sexual attraction, they should be looked for on the side. And then, as if by magic, a new employee comes to the office: smart, handsome, elegant, smiling. The husband clearly loses in comparison with him, especially if you remember the dump of dirty socks under the bed or his habit of picking his nose. Therefore, the new employee attracts the girl like a magnet, promising her heavenly mountains in the form of care, love and, of course, high-quality sensual sex.

A woman thinks: "I love, but I don't want a husband. I won't get divorced, but I can please myself." But is the game worth the candle? Many ladies, having tasted the forbidden fruit, say no. Firstly, strict secrecy is needed, which takes a lot of time, effort and money. Secondly, remorse will not let you sleep at night. Thirdly, the lover will turn out to be the same man, prone to scattering socks. Therefore, it is unprofitable to start a gentleman on the side.

Four justified "no"

I don't want to sleep with my husband… How often you can hear this from friends, employees or even from your own mother. The problem is as old as the world, and often the woman is not to blame for it. Agree, it’s one thing to go to bed with your soul mate when you don’t carry the burden of caring for the house and children. And it’s completely different when you are torn into a million pieces in order to have time to go to work and feed your family, wash everything, iron it and clean it up for the last time. After such a marathon, you just want to fall onbed and don't move. At the same time, her husband's attempts to seduce cause nervous convulsions and attacks of aggression.

Sexologists say that there are four arguments in favor of women who do not want to forcefully make love:

• Dullness of sensations, which causes depression and dissatisfaction with oneself.
• Decreased libido, development of frigidity.
• The appearance of gynecological problems.
• Loss of attractiveness.

And to prevent this from happening, try to find the cause of your coldness and solve it with the methods described above.

What to do if you don't want to have sex with your husband?

If none of the above works, you need to go the other way. Psychologists call the ability to fall in love with a chosen one again the most effective, trouble-free and useful method. It is quite difficult to do this, especially when there are ten years of marriage behind you and a couple of children in the next room. To make it work, psychologists recommend focusing on the positive qualities of the spouse. The wife should pay attention to the fact that he has very strong sexy arms, but close her eyes to the hanging "ears" of fat on the sides. Although it is necessary to hint at problems in the figure. It is better if you attend training together.

"I don't want a husband, what should I do?" the girl asks herself. At the same time, she does not suspect: one has only to recall the candy-bouquet period, as a feeling of warmth and tenderness will spread throughoutbody. She needs to re-imagine those moments when he looked into his eyes in love, kissed his hands, made an offer, was on duty at the windows of the maternity hospital and launched fireworks at the birth of her first child … These memories will make it clear that there is no closer person. Love will be reborn, and with it passion, and the desire for intimacy, and the thirst for new sexual experiments.