What to do if a child is lying: reasons, methods of education, advice from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Little children, communicating with their peers and adults, are very fond of telling fictional stories that they pass off as reality. Thus, a person at an early age develops imagination, fantasy. But sometimes such stories worry parents, because over time, adults begin to understand that the innocent inventions of their children are gradually becoming something more, growing into ordinary lies.

Of course, few parents will look at such a phenomenon calmly. In order for their child not to turn into a pathological liar, adults are trying to wean him from such a habit. What to do for this? Find out the reasons for cheating and change your own approach to parenting.

Is it okay to lie to children?

Psychologists believe that some degree of deceit is a normal developmental stage in a child. Everything that the baby feels, hears and sees in the very first years of his life, for himunclear and new. The kid is forced to process large amounts of information and use it every day. And if an adult understands what is true and what is fiction, then the child has yet to learn how to do it.

The logical thinking of the crumbs is just being formed. That is why he sincerely believes in those fairy tales that adults tell him. If something becomes incomprehensible to the baby, then he begins to connect the imagination. At some point, fantasy and reality begin to intertwine. This is the main reason that parents hear lies from their child. However, the child is sincerely convinced that he is telling only the truth.

But sometimes children begin to lie consciously. This happens, as a rule, in cases where parents forbid them something. In this case, the baby begins to look for ways to achieve what he wants. The most obvious way to do this is his cunning. That is why children begin to lie consciously, while manipulating adults.

Sometimes the origins of this behavior are hidden in self-doubt or in an effort to increase their own self-esteem. Sometimes lying allows you to avoid punishment, and the child, realizing this, continues to lie for any reason.

Children's deceit can hide quite deep psychological problems. That is why parents should carefully understand each situation. Modern psychology has identified a number of prerequisites that encourage children to lie. Let's consider the main ones in more detail.

Fear

The child begins to constantly lie because of fear of punishment for their actions. Such behavior is typical for those families where parents are overly strict and make excessive demands on their children.

If a child is lying, what should I do? To solve the problem, psychologists recommend parents to remain calm in relations with their child. Adults should punish liars not too severely and only for serious misconduct. If you shout at a child for the slightest fault, frighten him with spanking, constantly deprive him of watching TV and sweets, then he will begin to be afraid of his parents. Strictly and often punishing the baby, adults provoke in him the desire to avoid this in any way. Psychologists recommend making the right decision based on the current situation. So, if a child broke a cup, then let him remove the fragments; if he broke a toy, then let him try to fix it; if he got a bad grade at school, then let him work harder and fix it. Such conditions will be the most fair for a small person. They will not offend his dignity, because of which he will naturally no longer need to lie. Otherwise, as they grow older, children will constantly defend themselves by shifting the blame onto others. This will make it difficult for them to make friends and lead to problems communicating with peers.

Increase self-esteem

Sometimes children begin to talk about being endowed with superpowers in the form of incredible strength, dexterity, intelligence, endurance and courage, or to claim that they have an unusual and very expensive toy or an older brother -famous athlete. Of course, it is obvious to adults that the child is wishful thinking.

If a child is lying, what should I do? How to deal with such parents? Psychologists say that such deception is a wake-up call. Of course, if such stories can be heard rarely, then you should not worry. They can be considered a child's fantasy. However, in cases where incredible stories are repeated regularly, then most likely the child is gnawed by insecurity, and in this way he tries to gain authority among his peers. It is possible that he feels bad in the children's team.

Child lying to parents? What to do in this situation? Most likely, fictional stories are a way to interest loved ones. Consequently, the child lacks attention, affection, warmth, understanding and support of parents. What to do to get rid of constant deception? To do this, it is enough to make the baby feel that he is really loved, giving him more attention and striving to develop his abilities. Psychologists recommend that parents read children's encyclopedias and books with their child, communicate more and walk. It is worth taking your child to the sports section or to any circle. There, under the guidance of professionals, the child will begin to develop his abilities, gain self-confidence, and then be able to talk about real achievements.

Mismatching the aspirations of parents

Such behavior, as a rule, occurs in schoolchildren. Reachingadolescence, they seek to avoid parental pressure and control. For example, a mother wants her daughter to be a musician, and the girl likes to draw. Or a boy dreams of a radio club, and dad wants him to become a translator. At a time when their parents are not at home, such children design and draw, and then they say that they studied English or music. Sometimes a child with average abilities also lies, whose parents want to see him as an excellent student. Such a student constantly makes excuses, talking about the bias of teachers.

What to do if a child lies because he does not fulfill the wishes of his parents? Adults need to understand that they most likely dream of their children doing what they themselves once failed to do. Or maybe such expectations are contrary to the interests and inclinations of the child? In addition, you need to understand that a son or daughter will not be able to succeed in an unloved business. In order to remedy the situation, psychologists recommend giving children the opportunity to go their own way. In this case, there will be much less deception in the family.

Self-justification

All people make mistakes sometimes. But if a child acted badly and at the same time tries to justify himself, finding thousands of reasons and blaming others, then parents should seriously look into the situation.

What to do if the child is lying? According to the advice of a psychologist, with a similar problem, parents need to support their child. In order to eradicate childish lies uttered asself-justification, you will need to constantly discuss with the baby everything that happens to him in life. If the child, out of pride, does not want to admit his guilt, then you will need to talk to him, and do it in a friendly and gentle way. Parents should explain to their child that they will not stop loving him, even if he was the first to get into a fight or take a toy from a peer. Seeing that adults support him in any situation, the child will begin to trust them more.

Setting personal boundaries

During adolescence, some children feel that their parents don't need to know much about their lives. That is why they do not seek to talk about their friends and deeds. The teenager is silent about who he communicates with, as well as where he walks. Often, parents justify such behavior when their child is rude, secretive and gradually moves away from the family, a transitional age.

If a child starts lying, what should parents do in this case? In order to gain mutual understanding with a daughter or son, you will need to win their trust. At the same time, adults should not overprotect their child or seek to influence him in an aggressive way. In this case, the teenager will have an even stronger desire to gain independence and get out of control.

Lies and age

Psychologists note that a child uses the first skills of simple and easy deception starting from six months of his life. This is usually laughter or crying used to get the attention of adults.

As you age, deceit becomes moresophisticated forms. How can this be explained? The fact is that at each age certain difficulties arise in the formation of a child's character. This should be taken into account by parents who set out to wean their child from constant lies and deceit. The first step towards achieving this goal is, of course, the elimination of the causes that provoke lies. Further, it is recommended to use the advice of educational psychologists who offer upbringing methods in accordance with the age of the child.

Lie at 4

Sometimes children at this age begin to come up with ridiculous excuses for their unseemly actions more and more often. If a four-year-old child lies in this way, what should I do? According to psychologists, parents should not punish the baby for this. First of all, your child needs to explain the following: what he says is absurd. The child should know that this is not good and stupid. But parents, constantly hearing more and more new fairy tales from him, should think about the fact that maybe the baby simply does not have enough adults?

What to do if a child constantly lies at the age of four? A fairly effective tool for children of this age will be reading bedtime stories. In addition, psychologists recommend that parents take their child to puppet shows.

Cheat at 5

At this age, the main reason for children's lies is the fear of cruel punishment. If a five-year-old child is lying, what should I do? Advice to parents of such children relates to the revision of their methods of education. It is possible that they should be changed to more friendly, loyal anddemocratic. Adults should relieve the preschooler of the fear of punishment. In this way, they will eliminate his very motive, provoking deception. Parents need to praise their child more often and less often put them in a corner as a punishment. When a child feels the love of his parents, he will trust them more.

First grade lies

At this age, children most of all begin to imitate adults. The first grader already has his own opinion about the behavior of his parents. If adults in the presence of a child deceive each other, then they should not be surprised later that their child is telling a lie.

If a child lies at 6-7 years old, what should I do? To eliminate such a problem, parents should give their child their own example of behavior, where there are no omissions, lies, deceit and evasions. A child who lives in a sincere and trusting atmosphere will have no reason to lie.

Cheat at 8 years old

Children this age and older are capable of lying quite convincingly. Starting from the age of 8, the child has greater independence, he begins to strive for freedom. And if parents continue to overprotect their child, then he will begin to actively avoid control over his personal life.

Sometimes the reason for cheating at this age is the child's fear that he will not live up to the ideal created by adults, that he will anger them with poor grades at school or with his behavior. If at 8 years old a child is lying, what should I do? In this case, psychologists recommend that parents pay attention to the atmosphere in the house. Most likely, their son or daughter is uncomfortablefeel among loved ones who are not interested in the opinion of a small person and do not trust him.

Psychologists say that children will not deceive their parents if they know that the family will take their side in any situation and support them, no matter what happens to them. If the child is sure that if they punish him, then only fairly, then he will have no reason to lie. To create a trusting atmosphere, parents should be interested in the affairs of their child and tell him about the events of their day.

What to do if a child is lying, despite all the attempts made? In this case, psychologists recommend telling him about the consequences that deception can bring with it. After all, a lie will only solve the problem for a while, and then it will be easily detected. It is also recommended that the liar be asked if he himself wants to be deceived. At the same time, adults should make it clear to the child that his constant lies will lead to a loss of authority among others.

Nine year old lies

All of the above reasons for cheating affect the behavior of children entering adolescence. However, in addition to this, such a child, until the beginning of adolescence, has another reason to hide the truth. It is from the age of 9 that children begin to create a personal territory, and they have a desire to go beyond the boundaries that adults have set for them. The consequence of this is a change in the behavior of adolescents. They become unruly and disobedient.

What should parents do in this case? The main thing that psychologists advise iskeep calm. And do not allow yourself to get annoyed with children, because it is also very difficult for them in this age period. Moms and dads are encouraged to spend as much time as possible with their child and trust them to do important things on their own. In order to improve children's behavior, it is advisable to ensure that the son or daughter observes the daily routine, family traditions and generally accepted rules of life.

Lies of a teenager 10-12 years old

What are the reasons why a child at this age deceives parents? Sometimes he is forced to tell a lie by the aggressive behavior of people close to him. So, in some families, physical punishment is applied to a child for any misconduct. Aggressive parents can give their child a slap or slap in the face for not taking out the trash, an untimely made bed or an unassembled briefcase. It is the fear of reprisals that forces the student to hide the truth.

What to do? A child lies at 10 years old! Sometimes a teenager begins to lie because of the divorce of his parents. After all, parting with the father is the strongest trauma, which is primarily applied to children. And if at 2 years old the baby is not yet aware of what is happening, then a 10-year-old teenager is already experiencing a family drama. In addition, mothers often take their anger out on children, blaming them for what happened.

If a child lies at the age of 10, what should I do? Parents in this case should analyze their own behavior. It is possible that they want to see their child as the winner of sports competitions or olympiads. According to psychologists, children are afraid to disappoint their relatives and thereforestart lying to them. If the deception is revealed, then the blame is immediately shifted by the teenager to the neighbor on the desk.

If a child lies at the age of 11, what should I do? Parents should also reconsider their behavior. After all, children often lie when they see the lies of their family members.

If a child lies at the age of 10-12, what should I do to teach him to tell the truth? Sometimes this phenomenon is the result of overprotection. In this case, a lie is a means for the child to fight for his rights. Review your behavior - and the situation will be corrected.

Money theft

A person is capable of an illegal act at any age. But when frank and friendly kids suddenly steal something, it upsets parents very much.

It often happens that a child steals money and lies. What to do in this case? Parents should have a conversation with their child in order to exclude material gain. As a rule, the child cannot explain his act. And if the offender is punished without finding out the reasons, then at the age of 13-14 the situation may worsen. The child will begin to steal money regularly. What should parents do to prevent this? First of all, think about your relationship with your child. Divorce, as well as coldness or hostility in the family, could also negatively affect the child. In order to eliminate the cause of stealing money, adults need to start with themselves - improve the atmosphere in the house, scream less and show as much love as possible for your child.