Types and styles of parenting

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Quite often people with children turn to psychologists for help. Moms and dads ask experts where undesirable qualities and bad behavior could come from in their beloved children. The most important role in the formation of personality is played by education. The character of the children and their future life depend on his style and the type chosen by the parents. What methods and forms of education are used? This question is worth looking into, because the answer to it will be useful for all parents to know.

What is parenting and what styles exist?

The word "education" appeared in the speech of people a very long time ago. This is evidenced by Slavic texts dated 1056. It was in them that the concept in question was first discovered. In those days, the word "education" was given such meanings as "nurture", "nurture", and a little later it began to be used in the meaning of "instruct".

In the future, this concept was given many different interpretations by various specialists. If we analyze them, we can say that education is:

• formationa person who will be useful to society and who will be able to live in it, will not avoid other people, will not withdraw into himself;
• interaction between educators and pupils;
• learning process.

Parents, raising their children, often do not think about the organization of this process. They act according to intuition, life experience. Simply put, moms and dads raise their sons and daughters the way they do it. Thus, each family adheres to a certain style of education. By this term, experts understand the characteristic patterns of parental relationships with their child.

There are many classifications of parenting styles. One of them was proposed by Diana Baumrind. This American psychologist identified the following parenting styles:

• authoritarian;
• authoritative;
• liberal.

In the future, this classification was supplemented. Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin identified another parenting style. He was called indifferent. In some sources, this model is referred to by such terms as “hypo-custody”, “indifferent style”. Parenting styles are discussed in detail below, the characteristics of each of them.

Authoritarian Parenting Style

Some parents keep their children in strictness, apply harsh methods and forms of education. They give their children instructions and wait for them to be carried out. In such families, there are strict rules and requirements. Children must do everythingdon't argue. In case of misconduct and misbehavior, whims, parents punish their children, do not take into account their opinions, do not ask for any explanations. This style of parenting is called authoritarian.

In this model, the independence of children is very limited. Parents who adhere to this parenting style think that their child will grow up obedient, executive, responsible and serious. However, the final result is completely unexpected for moms and dads:

1. Active and strong in character, children begin to show themselves, as a rule, in adolescence. They rebel, show aggression, quarrel with their parents, dream of freedom and independence, and that is why they often run away from their parents' house.
2. Insecure children obey their parents, are afraid of them, afraid of punishment. In the future, such people turn out to be dependent, timid, withdrawn and gloomy.
3. Some children, growing up, take an example from their parents - create families similar to those in which they grew up, keep both wives and children in strictness.

Authoritative style in family education

Specialists in some sources refer to this model as “democratic style of education”, “cooperation”, as it is the most favorable for the formation of a harmonious personality. This parenting style is based on warm relationships and a fairly high level of control. Parents are always open to communication, eager to discuss andSolve problems with your children. Moms and dads encourage the independence of sons and daughters, but in some cases they can point out what needs to be done. Children listen to the elders, they know the word "must".

Due to authoritative parenting style, children become socially adjusted. They are not afraid to communicate with other people, they know how to find a common language. An authoritative parenting style allows you to grow independent and self-confident individuals with high self-esteem and self-control.

Authoritative style is the ideal parenting model. However, exclusive adherence to it is still undesirable. For a child at an early age, authoritarianism emanating from parents is necessary and useful. For example, moms and dads should point out the wrong behavior to the baby and require him to comply with any social norms and rules.

Liberal relationship model

Liberal (permissive) parenting style is observed in those families where parents are very indulgent. They communicate with their children, allow them absolutely everything, do not establish any prohibitions, strive to demonstrate unconditional love for their sons and daughters.

Children raised in families with a liberal model of relationships have the following traits:

• are often aggressive, impulsive;
• strive to indulge in nothing;
• love to brag;
• dislike physical and mental labor;
• demonstrate self-confidence bordering on rudeness;
• conflict with other people who don't indulge them.

Very often, the inability of parents to control their child leads to the fact that he falls into asocial groups. Sometimes a liberal parenting style works well. Some children who have known freedom and independence from childhood grow up to be active, determined and creative people (what kind of person a particular child will become depends on the characteristics of his character, laid down by nature).

Indifferent parenting style

In this model, such sides as indifferent parents and embittered children stand out. Moms and dads do not pay attention to their sons and daughters, treat them coldly, do not show care, affection and love, they are only busy with their own problems. Children are not limited. They don't know any restrictions. They are not instilled with such concepts as “kindness”, “compassion”, therefore, children do not show sympathy for either animals or other people.

Some parents not only show their indifference, but also hostility. Children in such families feel not needed. They exhibit deviant behavior with destructive impulses.

Classification of types of family education according to Eidemiller and Yustiskis

An important role in the formation of personality is played by the type of family education. This is a characteristic of the value orientations and attitudes of parents, emotional attitude towards the child. E. G. Eidemiller and V. V. Yustiskis created a classification of relationships in which they identified several main types that characterize the upbringing of boys and girls:

1. Indulgent hyperprotection. All attention of the family is directed to the child. Parents strive to satisfy all his needs and whims as much as possible, fulfill desires and make dreams come true.
2. Dominant hyperprotection. The child is in the center of attention. His parents are constantly watching him. The independence of the child is limited, because mom and dad periodically put some prohibitions and restrictions on him.
3. Ill-treatment. The family has a huge number of requirements. The child must comply with them unquestioningly. Violent punishments follow disobedience, whims, rejections and bad behavior.
4. Neglect. In this type of family upbringing, the child is left to himself. Mom and Dad do not care about him, are not interested in him, do not control his actions.
5. Increased moral responsibility. Parents do not pay much attention to the child. However, they place high moral demands on him.
6. Emotional rejection. This upbringing can be carried out according to the type of "Cinderella". Parents are hostile and unfriendly towards the child. They do not give affection, love and warmth. At the same time, they are very picky about their child, they demand that they keep order, obey family traditions.

Classification of types of education according to Garbuzov

B. I. Garbuzov noted the decisive role of educationalinfluences in shaping the characteristics of the child's character. At the same time, the specialist identified 3 types of raising children in the family:

1. Type A. Parents are not interested in the individual characteristics of the child. They do not take them into account, they do not seek to develop them. The upbringing of this type is characterized by strict control, the imposition of the only correct behavior on the child.
2. Type B. This type of upbringing is characterized by the anxious and suspicious concept of parents about the state of he alth of the child and his social status, the expectation of success in school and future work.
3. Type B. Parents, all relatives pay attention to the child. He is the idol of the family. All his needs and desires are satisfied sometimes to the detriment of family members and other people.

Clemence Study

Swiss researchers led by A. Clemence identified the following styles of raising children in the family:

1. Directive. In this family style, all decisions are made by the parents. The task of the child is to accept them, to fulfill all the requirements.
2. Participatory. The child can make decisions about himself. However, the family has a few general rules. The child is obliged to comply. Otherwise, parents apply punishments.
3. Delegating. The child makes his own decisions. Parents do not impose their points of view on him. They don't pay much attention to him until his behavior gets him into serious trouble.

Disharmonious and harmonious education

AllThe considered styles of upbringing in the family and types can be combined into 2 groups. This is a disharmonious and harmonious upbringing. Each group has some features, which are indicated in the table below.

Disharmonious and harmonious education

Features	Disharmonious parenting	Harmonious upbringing
Emotional component	parents do not pay attention to the child, do not show affection, care towards him; parents are cruel to the child, punish him, beat him; parents give their child too much attention.	in the family all members are equal; child gets attention, parents take care of him; there is mutual respect in communication.
Cognitive component	parent position is not well thought out; child's needs are over- or under-met; there is a high level of inconsistency, inconsistency in relations between parents and children, a low level of cohesion among family members.	children's rights are recognized in the family; independence is encouraged, freedom is limited within reason; there is a high level of satisfaction of the needs of all family members; principles of upbringing are characterized by stability, consistency.
Behavioral component	child actioncontrolled; parents punish their child; the child is allowed everything, his actions are not controlled.	the child's actions are controlled at first, as they grow older, the transition to self-control is carried out; there is an adequate system of rewards and sanctions in the family.

Why do some families have disharmonious parenting?

Parents use inharmonious types and styles of parenting. This happens for various reasons. These are life circumstances, and character traits, and the unconscious problems of modern parents, and unmet needs. Among the main reasons for disharmonious upbringing are the following:

• projection onto the child of one's own undesirable qualities;
• underdevelopment of parental feelings;
• educational uncertainty of parents;
• presence of fear of losing a child.

At the first reason, parents see in the child those qualities that they themselves have, but do not recognize them. For example, a child has a tendency to laziness. Parents punish their child, treat him cruelly because of the presence of this personal quality. The struggle allows them to believe that they themselves do not have this defect.

The second above-mentioned reason is observed in those people who did not experience parental warmth in childhood. They do not want to deal with their child, they try to spend less time with him, not to communicate, so they use inharmonious stylesfamily education of children. Also, this reason is observed in many young people who were not psychologically ready for the appearance of a child in their lives.

Educational uncertainty occurs, as a rule, in weak personalities. Parents with such a defect do not make special demands on the child, satisfy all his desires, since they cannot refuse him. A small member of the family finds a vulnerable spot in mom and dad and takes advantage of it, ensuring that he has maximum rights and minimum responsibilities.

When there is a phobia of loss, parents feel defenseless in their child. It seems to them that he is fragile, weak, painful. They protect him. Because of this, such inharmonious parenting styles of adolescents as conniving and dominating overprotection arise.

What is harmonious family education?

With harmonious upbringing, parents accept the child as he is. They do not try to correct his minor shortcomings, they do not impose any behavior patterns on him. The family has a small number of rules and prohibitions that absolutely everyone observes. The needs of the child are met within reasonable limits (while the needs of other family members are not ignored or infringed).

With harmonious upbringing, the child independently chooses his own path of development. Mom and dad do not force him to go to any creative circles if he does not want to do it himself. The independence of the child is encouraged. If necessary, parents only give the necessary advice.

Tothe upbringing was harmonious, parents need:

• always find time to communicate with your child;
• take an interest in his successes and failures, help to cope with some problems;
• do not put pressure on the child, do not impose your own points of view on him;
• treat the child as an equal member of the family;
• to instill in a child such important qualities as kindness, empathy, respect for other people.

In conclusion, it is worth noting that it is very important to choose the right types and styles of parenting in the family. It depends on what the child will become, what his future life will be like, whether he will communicate with people around him, whether he will become withdrawn and uncommunicative. At the same time, parents must always remember that the key to effective education is love for a small family member, interest in him, a friendly, conflict-free atmosphere in the house.