Parenting styles: description, types, impact on the child

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

A child comes into this world for love. He himself is filled with it and is ready to give this feeling to his parents. However, often from an inquisitive and smiling baby, a twitchy and absolutely unadapted person grows up. With what it can be connected? Psychologists answer this question unequivocally - with parental attitudes and parenting styles. Adults, with their attitude towards the little man, have a huge influence on him, completely shaping all his ideas about life. Many do it unconsciously and in full confidence that they are doing the right thing. After all, their parental attitude and parenting style is formed from how their own relationship with their parents once developed. Thus, we can say that, communicating with the baby, you not only create his future here and now, but also providedirect impact on the lives of their potential grandchildren. Foreign and domestic psychologists have created several classifications of parenting styles. They are often used by teachers in their work to better understand their students. It is not uncommon for class introductions to begin with a parent-teacher review of parenting styles. This information is very important in order to get an idea of the character of the child and help him find his place in society. Today we look at parenting styles in psychology and the impact they have on the still fragile young souls.

Parental love for a child and the role of the family in his upbringing

The theme of the relationship between parents and children is inexhaustible. Despite a good theoretical base and extensive accumulated experience, psychologists still consider it to be not fully understood. So, we can talk about this topic for a long time.

It is known that love for your child must be mandatory. Such a feeling can only be given by a mother, connected with the child by invisible ties even before he was born. Unconditional love not only gives the baby a sense of security and self-confidence, but also sets certain limits, within which a happy and harmonious personality grows. It is believed that a he althy mother should feel both the desire to be with the baby, help him, instruct and not invade personal space, and let the child go when the time comes. We can say that any communication with the mother (physical, verbalor emotional) affects the mental and physical he alth of the child. In the future, this will affect his life attitudes and success in all areas of activity.

Parents' love should carry supportive and developing functions. Only with such an attitude at the right time, the child will be able to calmly separate from his family, but continue to feel loved.

However, not only the mother is responsible for the style of education and the formation of the personality of the crumbs. The growing child is influenced by all family members and the relationships between them. The family should act not only as an environment in which all the personal qualities of the growing baby are laid, but also as the place where he first gets acquainted with society and learns to take a certain position in it. By regularly observing various family situations and the ways in which adults resolve them, the child acquires his own vision of this world and gets an idea of social roles. Warm and trusting relationships in the family become the key to the baby's he althy self-esteem, self-confidence and the development of schemes for overcoming difficulties. Families where coldness reigns in relationships have the opposite effect on the child. He grows up withdrawn, intimidated, unable to take responsibility. Such a person has a lot of other qualities that prevent him from expressing himself in society. In recent years, American psychologists have written several works where they gave a scientific justification for the term "alienation". According to experts, it is typical for most of today's youth and is due to the peculiarities of education.

Features of educating the younger generation

Psychologists believe that the modern family has a number of features leading to the formation of a special type of personality:

• Interest in career growth. For more than a decade, there has been a tendency in society to combine motherhood with professional growth. Mothers are forced to develop ideas about the need to develop, go to work early and spend a lot of time on it. Often, not only five days a week, but also the remaining two, which should be days off, children spend with nannies and grandmothers, and not with parents who devote their lives to moving up the career ladder. Because of this, they lose emotional and spiritual contact with the child.
• Increase in divorces. The number of incomplete families is growing every year, which often leads to children's psychological trauma, aggravated by a decrease in material well-being.
• Achievements of civilization. Today it is customary to surround the child with a variety of gadgets, innovations in engineering and technical devices designed to entertain him. However, this is what nullifies communication between all family members, provoking the very alienation.

In the conditions described, a special type of personality is formed. Initially, he is characterized by indifference, unwillingness to act and take any responsibility. Often this is accompanied by hostility towards adults, including their loved ones. In the future, a negative impact on the child's psyche can be transformed into violations of thought processes. This is expressed ininability to coherently express one's thoughts, memorize concepts and formulations, manipulate numbers.

Over the years of studying the relationship between parents and children, psychologists have come to the conclusion that the formation of personality directly depends on the styles of parenting in the family. They will be discussed in the article.

The emergence of the theory of parenting styles and its development

Even ancient philosophers and scientists understood that the styles of parenting and the personality of the child are closely interconnected. Therefore, during the period of the formation of psychological science, experts more than once turned to this topic. Approximately in the middle of the last century, for the first time they started talking about certain styles of parenting and how they influence the formation of the child's personality and his psychological and emotional state. Finally, this theory took shape in the seventies of the last century. During this period, Diana Baumrind identified and described three types of relationships between parents and children. Each of them was given a description based on several factors:

• Control.
• Communication.
• Emotional warmth.
• Maturity of requirements and so on.

The psychologist described three styles of parenting. But after ten years, its classification has undergone some adjustment. Two well-known American psychologists substantiated that the relationship between parents and children is based on only two main factors. It is from the extent to which they are expressed that the interaction between adults and small members of the family is formed. Each factor has its own description:

• Parental control. All moms and dads control their children to varying degrees. Some build the educational process on a list of prohibitions. In such a family, the child is deprived of the right to choose and cannot do anything that he would like if it does not suit his parents. His opinion is never taken into account, and the number of responsibilities goes off scale. Other parents let things go with the flow. Children have the opportunity to express their opinions and express emotions, and the limitation of their self-expression tends to zero.
• Parental acceptance. This wording is close to the concept of unconditional love. In some families, warmth, love, praise, support and a minimum of punishment reign. Where acceptance is low, children are severely punished, constantly reprimanded and disapproved, their endeavors are not supported, and complaints and requests are rejected.

These factors were presented as two intersecting axes, and on them were parenting styles, which can be determined by high or low levels of parental control and acceptance. This classification was taken as the basis, which is actively used in the work of modern psychologists.

Basic styles of parenting in the family

Psychologists say that it is almost impossible to find a single style of education in one family. Most often, mothers, fathers, grandparents raise a child in their own way. Some of them are softer, and some are too hard,so we can talk about the totality of styles. In part, this is good. After all, the child learns to try on different roles. However, different parenting attitudes and parenting styles can lead to kinks. These extremes already negatively affect the psyche of the baby. Therefore, it is so important to determine the parenting style that reigns in your family. As we said, there are four of them:

• Authoritative.
• Authoritarian.
• Disregarding.
• Permissive.

Each of them requires a more detailed description.

Authoritative

Among all the styles of family education (teachers always list them at parent meetings), authoritative is the most successful for personality formation.

He is characterized by a high level of control. Parents always know what is happening with their children and impose reasonable restrictions on them. At the same time, moms and dads explain all their decisions to their offspring and can, if necessary, change them. Such an attitude forms a mature and reasonable behavior in children. They learn to behave correctly in any situation, which will help them further build relationships in society with its various representatives.

At the same time as parental control, there is also a high level of acceptance. Moms and dads show their warmth and interest in the affairs of the child, encourage him to explore the world and communicate with peers, teach social skills and support in all endeavors.

Children raised in an authoritative style adequatelyaccept punishment and do not react to it with resentment. As a result, they develop a correct understanding of the world order, and in the future they achieve great success. Also, such children are balanced and self-confident, they can be responsible for their actions and are not afraid of responsibility.

Authoritarian

If we are talking about this style of parenting, then it is characterized by a low level of acceptance and a high level of control. Parents control their offspring in all areas and build an impenetrable wall of prohibitions. Relationships with children are based on orders that must be followed exactly. At the same time, parents never explain the motives for their behavior, which creates the basis for children's resentment. Failure to comply with an order is followed by punishment, often corporal.

The emotional attachment of authoritarian parents to children is weak. Even with babies, they are very reserved and do not seek tactile contact. Usually in an authoritarian family, unnecessarily high demands are placed on children. They should study well, be polite with everyone, not show their emotions, always be in an even mood. Most often, this parenting style leads to the formation of a closed personality with low self-esteem. The child grows up passive, does not show initiative in business, cannot establish communication with peers, studies without interest.

It is noteworthy that in adolescence, children of authoritarian parents do their best to break out of control. This is more typical for boys whomake real riots. Often they go outside and get into bad company.

Permissive

This style of education at parent-teacher meetings in schools is often called liberal or conniving by teachers. It is characterized by the complete acceptance of the positive and negative traits of the child. Therefore, no limits are set for the offspring, and his behavior is not controlled. Moreover, he is not even given an assessment. Moms and dads do not care how successful their child is in school, how his relationships with peers develop, what he likes to do.

With such a concept of emotional intimacy with a child, there may not be. Parents who practice a permissive parenting style are often very cold towards their children, indifferent to them. But there is another option, when moms and dads adore their child, show it in every possible way, pampering and indulging whims. At the same time, parents themselves are always in a state of containment of their dissatisfaction with the behavior of the child. Even with his ugliest antics, they will look calm and balanced.

In such families, aggressive children often grow up, who develop bad relationships with their peers. They also do not know how to build relationships with adults, because they grow up with the idea that everything is allowed to them. Parents with a permissive parenting style raise children who do not know how to behave in society. They are often socially and emotionally immature, demanding special treatment in any situation.

Neglective

Teachers at school parent-teacher meetings call the style of parenting, characterized by a low level of control and acceptance of the child, neglecting. It has the most destructive effect on the formation of personality.

In such families, parents are only busy with themselves. At the same time, outwardly, the family may look quite safe: the presence of a father and mother, high income, intelligent manners and indulgence in all the child's monetary needs. However, in reality, he feels himself useless and abandoned. Parents do not meet his emotional needs, do not give love and affection. Often, this style of parenting is also practiced by dysfunctional families, where there is an acute shortage of money, and one of the parents (or both) abuses alcohol.

Most often, children, experiencing a lack of love, begin to lead an asocial lifestyle. They grow up very aggressive towards peers and adults, do not strive for academic success, and completely reject any rules. In adolescence, children brought up in this way can leave home and wander for a long time. This is also typical for the child of well-to-do parents.

Determining parenting style

Many parents do not think about the style in which they bring up their child until they get to the first school parent meeting. As a rule, the psychologist finds out the styles of upbringing in the family. He does this through communication with parents and children. Often, in order to determine how a child is brought up, a few meetings with a specialist are enough. Similar workdone together with the teacher in the first months of study. Further, during a personal conversation with parents, the conclusions drawn are confirmed or refuted. The identified styles of family education are not included in the minutes of the parent meeting. They are information that is not subject to disclosure and is intended only for the work of a teacher and psychologist.

Specialists use different methods when communicating with moms and dads. Most often, a special questionnaire of the style of parenting by Eidemiller and Justickis is used. It has been the best way to get the right information about family relationships for several decades.

A few words about the questionnaire

This technique was developed about fifty years ago. It was worked on by practicing psychologists who are well versed in all the nuances of raising children and deviations from the norm in this process.

The DIA Parenting Style Questionnaire should first of all show how the child is brought up. he also gives some suggestions as to why the parents chose this particular style for their family. At the same time, the questionnaire allows you to figure out by what parameters in education there are excesses and deviations from the norm.

The essence of the method is that parents must answer "yes" or "no" to one hundred and thirty questions. The answer "I don't know" is also acceptable. The questionnaire consists of two parts. The first is intended for parents of children from three to ten years old, and the second reveals the secrets of raising teenagers up to twenty-one years. Answers on questionsare analyzed. For a number of characteristics, a percentage is given. They can be in the green and red zones. If red color is revealed for any points, then it is here that the parents deviate from the norm. In this case, an immediate adjustment in parenting style is required.

Today, the questionnaire can be found in paper and electronic versions. The first is used by experienced psychologists, and the second is also suitable for self-testing, as it gives a complete and understandable transcript of the results.