Problems with my husband: causes, ways to resolve conflicts, advice from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Most recently, the very long-awaited moment of marriage took place. A woman and a man walked down the aisle, holding hands, looking at each other with loving eyes. There was a complete feeling that nothing could break this union. But several years have passed, and they appeared, problems with my husband! Do not rush to apply for a divorce at the registry office. In every situation, you can find the right way to solve.

No understanding

The most common problem in a relationship with a husband is a lack of understanding. It manifests itself in the fact that a man and a woman absolutely stop hearing each other. Your own interests come first, and then the needs of your spouse. Because of this, scandals are formed from nothing. The spouses begin to shout at each other, to prove their case, not understanding the very essence of the problem.

If the husband is older, this kind of problem is logical. After all, the spouses grew up in differenttimes, they have a different upbringing. But, unfortunately, it also occurs in spouses of the same age. According to psychologists, it is the incompatibility of outlooks on life that is the most common reason for divorce.

There are several proven ways to solve the problem of a husband and wife:

1. First of all, you should learn to give in to each other. As a rule, a woman should come to such a decision first, as she is a less temperamental and more wise person.
2. Psychologists recommend listening more to what your spouse says. Often during a marriage, spouses during a conversation begin to be distracted by their own affairs and thoughts. You should not interrupt and criticize your soulmate, you should always give the opportunity to finish speaking.
3. You should not always impose only your opinion and insist on being right. There is no such person who would always be right in everything. You should first understand what the interlocutor is saying, and then unobtrusively express your point of view.

The ideal way out of a situation with problems with an old husband or with a young man with whom there is no understanding is the search for compromises. Instead of scandals, you should sit down at the table, discuss the problem together and try to find a way out that will suit both sides.

Lack of romance

Women love actions. They like it when men look after them, give flowers, bring coffee to bed and do other nice little things. But after marriage, the spouses begin to pamper their chosen ones with attention only afterholidays. Accordingly, another problem with her husband appears - the lack of romance.

If a man has cooled down, then try to take the first step towards him yourself. Prepare him a candlelit dinner, have fun, perhaps this will awaken in him the desire to take a step back. Many families spend their free time at home in front of the TV screen. It is worth refreshing the environment: traveling around countries, going to the cinema, sitting in a cafe, playing sports in the fresh air. Such ways of sharing entertainment will refresh the senses and enjoy relaxing together.

Lost passion

According to psychologists and sexologists, another of the most common causes of conflicts is a problem in bed with her husband. Once upon a time, passion was seething between the couple, they were drowning in each other, but all this was replaced by a gray and monotonous pastime together. This may be due to a number of reasons:

• getting used to each other and decreasing interest against this background;
• tired after a hard day's work and household chores;
• lack of free time.

Often there are similar problems with her husband during pregnancy. The spouse has a psychological barrier, he realizes that wrong movements can harm his baby.

If there is a problem of a sexual nature between the spouses, then it needs to be resolved as soon as possible. Otherwise, the likelihood of a mistress or lover will increase. Therefore, you should constantly feed interest in each other and try to maintain passion. This requires:

• Always look good, even after years of marriage. Men love with their eyes, and this has been repeatedly proven. It is not recommended to meet a spouse in a rumpled bathrobe and with a clumsy ponytail on his head. It is worth updating your underwear regularly and keeping an eye on your figure in order to always arouse the interest of your spouse.
• If the kids went to grandma's for the weekend, it's time to make time for each other. It is worth creating a romantic atmosphere and having a good time.
• It is recommended to listen to each other's wishes. If the fantasy has run out, then you can supplement it by watching an erotic film together.
• It's worth changing the scenery from time to time. Move from the bed in the bedroom to the kitchen or bathroom. Experiment, there are so many interesting places in your house.
• Men are always children at heart. Why not play with them, but already in intimate games. It is worth appearing in the role of an erotic nurse or stewardess, such a surprise will definitely please your husband.
• During sexual intimacy, you should be as liberated as possible, leaving all constraints for another occasion.

An intimate problem with a husband is very common, but fortunately it can be easily solved.

Misunderstanding with parents

All mothers love their sons. They put all their love and care into them. Beloved boy grows up, and his mother is already in second place for him. The son begins to take care of his family and listen to the advice of another woman. Against this background, problems may arise with the husband and his parents. The most common mistake many women make is trying to attract the attention of their husbands. But in no case should you stand between mother and son.

It is worth having a heart-to-heart talk with your mother-in-law, letting her know that you will love and care for her son no less than she does. It is also recommended to ask the secrets of cooking your spouse's favorite dishes or ask her to help with choosing a gift for the next holiday, this act will definitely cause a feeling of trust in your daughter-in-law.

Lack of finances

Life is not easy for young families. Mortgage, consumer loans, kindergarten, utility bills - all this requires large expenses. At the same time, you also need to eat well and clothe the children. Often there are problems in the family with her husband against the backdrop of a lack of financial resources. The woman begins to reprimand her husband that he earns little so that he can find another job, and he works hard, but his efforts are still not enough for all the needs of his beloved wife.

The way to solve this problem is very simple:

1. Lack of money is a problem not only for the spouse, but for the family as a whole. The wife needs to get a job herself and bring income to the family. It is worth noting that in the world of modern technology, even many mothers on maternity leave find part-time jobs with high earnings.
2. If the husband really does not earn enough, then help him in resolving this situation. As a rule, many men "go with the flow" and do not like to change something in life. Find yourself more for hima promising job and calmly invite him to an interview, arguing this decision with the pros and cons.
3. Try to live within your means, wisely distributing all the money until the next paycheck. Make a list of expenses, this will allow you to identify unnecessary expenses that you can refuse.
4. If spouses communicate only with rich and independent people living "in a big way", then it is recommended to change the social circle to the one that suits more.

Psychologists say that the stronger and more reliable are those marriages in which spouses together achieve everything themselves. In marriages in which one person is more successful than the other, conflicts almost always appear, in most cases they lead to divorce.

Lack of trust

Women love to fantasize and look for a problem where there really is none. It seems to them that a man stays at work not because he wants to earn more money for the family, but because he has an affair with a young and beautiful employee. The wife constantly suspects that he looks at women and texts with his ex-ladies at night.

The way to solve this problem is simple - you need to learn to trust your chosen one. If he is still close to a woman, then he loves her and does not want to be with anyone else. You should soberly assess the situation, carefully analyzing each suspicion. Do not make your spouse scandals over trifles. also, you don’t need to try to make your husband jealous by flirting with other men in order tounderstand whether he loves his wife or not. It won't do any good either.

Aggressive husband

Often on women's forums the following question is asked: "What if the husband is aggressive?". In some families, after marriage, the spouse becomes constantly angry and dissatisfied, and sometimes there is a feeling that the husband has problems with his head: he starts to make scandals from scratch or is always in suspense. This is a rather complex problem that requires the intervention of a psychologist or psychotherapist.

But before you send your loved one to the hospital, you should understand the reason for his aggressiveness. This may be due to overwork at work, with a lack or excess of testosterone in the body. Accordingly, in order to cope with this problem, it is required:

• Give him a good rest after a hard day's work. Do not burden him with household chores and endless conversations. Husband does not talk about family problems? Save this conversation for a day off.
• Create a cozy and calm environment in the house so that the spouse feels good in it. A man who comes home from work to a dirty apartment cannot help but be aggressive.
• Pamper your loved one with feminine affection. This will allow him to always keep his composure and feel great.

But there are several reasons for aggression, with which you need to see a doctor. For example, these are alcohol or drug abuse, male irritability syndrome.

Domestic problems

Since ancient times, there is an opinion that a man is obliged to support his family, and his woman - to keep the hearth. But the modern world has changed the prevailing stereotypes. Now representatives of the beautiful half of humanity work on an equal footing with their spouses. But in addition, many of them are responsible for maintaining the house, raising children and cooking.

What to do with a problem with a husband of a domestic nature? Of course, you should give him an ultimatum, explaining that you work together and household chores should also be done together, explaining to him that you get tired no less than him.

An effective method is to draw up a schedule. For example, the duties of the husband include washing dishes, and the woman must cook. Or the spouse does all household chores on even days, and the wife on odd days, this method is especially effective when working in shifts.

Ex-husband

Unfortunately, the statistics of divorces in our country is growing. Many women and men are unable to cope with all the trials of marriage and prefer to remain single. In this case, another problem arises - the ex-husband. How to communicate with him after a divorce and how to live on? Experienced psychologists offer several recommendations on this matter:

• In the early stages of a breakup, if the stamp of divorce has not yet been stamped, it is worth trying to save the relationship. A family is a lot of work, mutual understanding and respect for each other has been accumulated over the years. Is it worth breaking down what took so long to build?
• If possiblethere is no preservation of marriage, then you need to stop communicating with your ex-husband. It is worth deleting his phone number and stop viewing his personal page. The past needs to be crossed out so that it does not interfere with building the future.
• Of course, if there are common children, it will be impossible to minimize communication. What to do with the problem with her husband in this case? It is recommended to calmly communicate with him, but only on topics that relate to children. After all, this is their father, and you should not make an enemy out of him and prevent communication.

It is not recommended to arrange tantrums and scenes of jealousy with your ex-husband. In this case, you can only arouse a feeling of pity in him.

Why talk about problems?

Whatever situations arise between husband and wife, it is important to learn how to discuss them and look for common ground. This is the best way to success and mutual understanding. Every woman should know how to talk to her husband about problems. This is required for the following purposes:

• Absolutely all incomprehensible situations will disappear from the relationship. Husband and wife will become clear each other's positions. For example, a husband behaves aggressively, constantly breaks down on all family members. The wife, instead of yelling back at him, tries to talk to him about his behavior. As it turns out, the husband had problems at work, the boss makes him work for two. He comes home mentally and physically tired, hence the mood swings. As a result of the conversation, the wife found out the reason for the aggression, and the husband felt better because he was able to speak out.
• Talkconflicts will teach spouses to look for the right way out of each situation. Instead of a scandal, the couple will have a pleasant evening and make a decision that suits both parties.

It is important to constantly train - to replace each conflict with a calm discussion. Over time, this will become a habit, and the spouses will begin to solve every problem that arises in this way.

What if the husband does not want to talk?

Men hate long conversations with their wives. For them, joint problem solving is like torture. How to talk to your husband about problems if he does not want to? It is important to find the right moment when the spouse will be in the most pleasant mood. It is better to arrange a conversation in the evening, in a relaxed atmosphere, after a delicious dinner. You should not try to sort things out when a man is angry or in front of third parties.

It is recommended to plan the conversation in advance. That it consisted of casual questions. Otherwise, the spouse will feel like being interrogated. Let it be a light and short conversation over a cup of tea. At the same time, it is recommended to look well-groomed and attractive in order to draw his attention to yourself. Psychologists say that you should not have more than 2-3 conversations in one week, as this can bore the husband and wife.

With every year of marriage, a woman will begin to better understand and feel her chosen one. Very soon, she will not need any conversations at all, she will guess everything herself, paying attention to his facial expression and demeanor.

General recommendations

Sorry,Husband problems exist in almost every family. Only the wisest woman can completely prevent them, and a few recommendations compiled by the best family psychologists will help her do this.

• A woman is flexible and delicate in her manner. She adapts better to any circumstances. If a scandal arose, then she would be able to quickly navigate what needs to be done to stop it. But if a woman begins to respond with rigidity to the rigidity of her husband, then the problems will grow one after another and turn into a huge snowball.
• Unfortunately, most modern women are trying to take a leadership position in the family. They believe that the spouse cannot cope without them, they begin to command him and constantly point out what needs to be done. Husbands do not want to obey, women do not like it, as a result, conflict occurs. Do not think that a man is not a responsible person. It is worth entrusting him with a leadership position in the family in order to find out that he can handle everything on his own.
• Another mistake is that girls begin to look for flaws in their partners, constantly pointing them out to them. It is recommended to make the opposite move - constantly praise the spouse for what he does for the family. Firstly, it will give him self-confidence, he will try to do even more. Secondly, he will always come home in a good mood, which will reduce the number of conflicts in the family.
• Young parents should understand that they are responsible to their children. Themtheir demeanor will be passed on and they will also begin to build relationships with their other halves in the future, so it is worth giving them a worthy example of respect and understanding of each other.

There should not be a point of view in the family that would be beneficial only for one side. It is always required to look together for such solutions to unpleasant situations that would suit both parties, only in this case problems with the husband can be avoided.