The child is hysterical: causes, description of behavior and methods for solving the problem

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Children's tantrums can unbalance even the most patient parent. At the moment of extreme nervous excitement, the child ceases to adequately respond to what is happening around him. He cries, screams loudly, rolls on the floor, swings his arms and legs, bites those around him and even beats his head against the wall. At this point, it is useless to ask the child to stop the tantrum. From this, he will scream even more, realizing that sooner or later he will be able to achieve what he wants with his behavior. About why this happens and what to do if the child is hysterical, in detail in the article. We will definitely share the opinion of the authoritative pediatrician Dr. Komarovsky and tell you what psychologists think about this problem.

Why is the child hysterical?

As the baby grows up, certain desires appear, which do not always coincide with what older family members want for him. If the child continues to insiston their own, and parents continue to forbid, the first prerequisite for hysteria arises. At this stage, the baby experiences rage, anger, despair. As a result, his nervous system fails, fails, requires a reboot - and in a minute the child will become hysterical. With a heart-rending cry and tears, he releases the emotions that overwhelm him.

Any hysteria has prerequisites that provoke such behavior of the child. The following main reasons why children hysteria can be identified:

• not being able to express their dissatisfaction in words;
• drawing attention to yourself;
• family conflicts;
• changes in the usual way of life;
• striving for the desired item;
• overwork, hunger;
• lack of sleep;
• feeling unwell, weakness of the body during or after an illness;
• desire to manipulate adults and do like them;
• excessive severity and overprotection of parents;
• errors in education;
• fuzzy system of rewards and punishments for the baby;
• separation of crumbs from an interesting activity;
• unbalanced nervous system of the child.

From the above list you can see how many prerequisites for a tantrum in a baby. But the child's nervous system is still too weak to properly respond to all the events that happen to the baby throughout the day. Tantrums occur in 80% of children under the age of 6, and in half of them the attacks are regular. Most often as they get olderchild, they pass by themselves, as unexpectedly as they appeared. But in any case, this problem cannot be completely ignored.

Can tantrums be prevented?

Many parents know from their own experience that it is no less difficult to stop an attack that has begun than to stop a train moving at full speed. But still, if the child is just about to throw a tantrum, you can still try to prevent it using the following methods:

1. Adhere to such a routine and daily regimen in which the child feels as calm and comfortable as possible. If possible, let the baby get enough sleep in the morning, do not force-feed, provide moderate exercise and daily walks in the fresh air.
2. Give your child the opportunity to say "no" if it does not entail dangerous consequences and does not infringe on the interests of other people. This will allow him to learn to take responsibility for his actions.
3. Give your child the opportunity to safely express their anger. He can beat an inflatable ball with his hands, shout, jump on the spot. This will relieve emotional tension and prevent a fit of tantrum.
4. Do not scold the child for screaming, running or jumping. Do not try to sit him down and make him calm down. The child learns to cope with his emotions on his own, which not all adults can do.
5. Beat the current situation. In role-playing games, the child can reveal the cause of his tantrum, and the mother will have the opportunity to better understand him and help to cope with nervous excitement.

Ways to stop a tantrum

Children who fall on the floor right in the supermarket, screaming heart-rendingly and hitting with their hands, evoke an ambiguous reaction from passers-by. One wants to pick them up and spank them, while others only lament about how the child is poorly brought up. Mom at this moment is ready to fall through the ground. In fact, there is no need to be embarrassed at all. This is a very common situation and the problem that today it is customary to talk about with child psychologists, psychiatrists and neurologists.

Meanwhile, when the child is hysterical, the mother can do the following:

1. Do not put pressure on the baby and do not scold him. Research has shown that tantrums cannot be stopped. It is better to just keep quiet in this situation and wait until the baby calms down on its own.
2. Make the space around the child safe. Mom should remove piercing, cutting and heavy objects away from the baby or even move him to another place. During a tantrum, the child does not control his actions, so he can easily harm himself.
3. Limit the circle of strangers surrounding the child at the moment of hysteria. First of all, you should ask to leave those people who intimidate the baby, for example, by the arrival of a policeman who can take away the baby from the mother.
4. Pity the child when the fit of hysteria stops. But it’s definitely not worth encouraging such behavior by buying chocolate or ice cream.
5. After a while, discuss the situation with the baby. The mother must herself explain to the child why hethere was a tantrum, for example, due to the fact that he was not bought a typewriter and so on. The kid may not even realize why at that moment he began to scream, cry and demand.

A mother whose child is hysterical for any reason should develop a certain behavior model and adhere to it until the baby stops such attacks. Psychologists have developed a whole system of restrictions on how not to act when a baby cries a lot.

How to behave and what to do if the child is hysterical?

It's natural to feel resentment towards a child who throws a tantrum right in a crowded place. But this is not a reason to take out your anger on the baby, who is already having a hard time. But how to respond to hysteria? Experts advise:

1. The optimal behavior of a mother in a situation where the child does not obey and is hysterical is to wait silently, endure the attack.
2. If you cannot cope with your emotions, it is better to step aside, step back, to calm down and not break loose on the baby when he is already feeling bad.
3. Try to move away from the tantrum. It is better to think about something else at this moment. Don't take tantrums too personally. The baby may start to cry even more if he sees panic, anger or concern on the face of the mother.
4. Don't try to stop the tantrum by screaming, arguing, punishing. First, the child must calm down.
5. Patience and confidence in the correctness of your act. If the beginningtantrums is due to the fact that the mother did not buy something for the child, then in her decision she must go to the end. It is important to stop attempts to manipulate parents in early childhood.

Tantrums at night

Crying at night is a frequent visitor in families where a child lives from 1 to 5 years old. Experts believe that such tantrums do not need treatment. By the age of 7, they pass without a trace. But parents of babies should know that usually a child will hysteria at night from 1 to 3 times for 5-30 minutes.

There are several reasons for this behavior:

• increased fatigue of the baby, confirmed by the appropriate diagnosis;
• excessive emotionality and sensitivity of the child;
• stress:
• lots of impressions from the day before.

If a child visited the circus, the zoo, and the planetarium in one weekend, then he will most likely be hysterical at night. This is explained by the fact that during this period his nervous system is in a state of strong excitement.

How to deal with a night temper tantrum:

1. Do not leave the child alone at this moment. It is important to approach him as soon as he cries.
2. Hug the baby and stay close to him until the tantrum stops.
3. Gently pat the baby on the head, shake it in your arms, let it calm down. After this, the baby should be returned to his bed.

No need to turn night tantrums into a pleasant pastime. Otherwise, the baby willwaking up on purpose in order to spend the rest of the night in the parent's bed or just chat with mom. Well, in order to reduce nighttime tantrums to zero, you must follow the daily routine, exclude watching TV the night before, spend enough time with your child during the day.

How to explain tantrums at 1 year old?

A one-year-old child feels old enough to dictate his terms to his parents. He is overwhelmed with emotions, he wants to have everything at once, reach unprecedented heights and get what was banned until recently. That's just the part of the brain that is responsible for self-control at 1 year old is still underdeveloped. Therefore, any prohibition of the mother on one or another of his actions is perceived with tears in his eyes. This is the first reason why a child is hysterical in a year.

There may be other reasons for this behavior:

• poor vocabulary that does not allow the child to express their wants and needs verbally;
• an overabundance of information from visiting, traveling and more;
• desire to separate from your mother;
• the need for tactile sensations that the baby does not receive from the person closest to him.

How to respond to the fact that a child in a year is constantly hysterical:

1. Get away from the place of irritation. We are talking about a situation where a tantrum overtook a child in a public place, supermarket, cafe, etc.
2. Do not react to the baby for a while, leaving him alone with himselfyourself.
3. If the child is still able to perceive information coming from the mother, you can try to switch his attention to something else, distract him.

During a tantrum, you can not physically punish a child, order him to shut up, shame him for tears. Mom should try to understand the baby, help him cope with negative emotions and accept him as he is.

Reasons for bad behavior at 2-3 years old

A two-year-old kid has already mastered the meaning of the words "no", "I do not want" and "I will not" quite well. At this age, he begins to express his protest in everything, to deny any actions. By his behavior, the baby sometimes puts his parents into a stupor: yesterday he was such an obedient child, and today he refuses everything that his mother offers him. When a child of 2 years old is hysterical, one should not follow his lead and satisfy his whims. But physical punishment in this situation is also inappropriate. The baby needs to be given time to calm down without persuasion, threats and screams. But leaving him alone in the room is not worth it. At this age, the child is very attached to his mother and her departure can further injure his weak nervous system. The best option is not to interfere in the tantrum, but to be in the field of view of the baby.

The situation when a two-year-old child is hysterical before going to bed is also not uncommon. At this age, some children already refuse daytime sleep, but their nervous system cannot withstand such a load. It is important not to forget to follow the daily routine and ensure a fullrest during the day.

The age of three is considered a crisis in many ways. The child learns to defend his opinion in front of adults. During this period, he is extremely stubborn and categorical. If mom asks him to take off his outer clothes, he does the opposite. With further manifestation of perseverance, the child begins to become hysterical. The methods described above in the article will help to cope with it.

Dr. Komarovsky about tantrums

A well-known pediatrician, whose opinion many modern mothers listen to, is quite calm about children's tantrums. He believes that for them the child needs an audience. He will never become hysterical in front of a washing machine or TV. For the "performance" the child chooses the most sensitive member of his family. If the mother reacts calmly to tantrums, crying in front of her will not be interesting. A grandmother is more suitable for this role, who will try in every possible way to please her beloved grandson. So it turns out that the child is hysterical, and the adult fulfills his desires.

Unlike most child psychologists, who believe that the baby does not control behavior during crying, Dr. Komarovsky believes that he is fully aware of the whole situation. The pediatrician recommends that parents not react to what is happening around, no matter how loudly the child stamps his feet. But at the same time, it is extremely important that all family members adhere to such tactics of behavior.

To avoid a situation where the child is hysterical before bedtime, the doctor recommends walking with the baby in the fresh air, providing age-appropriate physical activity thatwill help him get tired during the day, and, accordingly, fall asleep faster.

Important advice for parents

Moms and dads Dr. Komarovsky gives the following advice:

1. Teach your child to express their emotions in words. Like any other person, the baby is not alien to such feelings as anger, anger, irritation. But you don't have to cry to get something. Most of the time it's enough to ask nicely.
2. Dr. Komarovsky believes that if a child becomes hysterical, he should be taken care of as little as possible and sent to kindergarten as soon as possible. There will be no spectators in the form of mom and dad, which will benefit the baby.
3. Tantrums can be predicted and prevented. You just need to carefully observe the baby and find out when they appear. It is important to try to avoid such conflict situations.
4. Sometimes babies hold their breath when they cry a lot. To force a child to breathe, you need to blow in his face. So says Dr. Komarovsky.
5. In a situation where children are hysterical, you need to go to the end. If a child learns to manipulate his parents, it will be much more difficult to cope with him in adolescence. The child will grow up to be a hysterical and selfish person.

Psychologists say tantrums are good

"Performing" with tears in the middle of the street is embarrassing and unpleasant. At least, this is what most mothers in our country think. In addition, when a child is constantly hysterical, not only his nervous system suffers from this, but also the psyche of the members.families. However, recent studies by scientists prove the opposite. It turns out that tantrums don't need to be avoided at all, as they are an important part of a baby's emotional he alth. And here's why:

1. During crying, the body is released from the stress hormone - cortisol. As a result, if at the moment of hysteria next to the baby there is a mother ready to provide support, his emotional state improves. That's why it's so important for a child to hug mom after a tantrum.
2. Baby will sleep better. If you do not throw out emotions outside during the day, the dream will be weak, superficial. When a child holds back emotions, they continue to rage inside.
3. Temperature in response to the word "no", said by the mother, allows the child to understand the boundaries of what is permitted. And there really is nothing wrong with that.
4. Tantrums bring children closer to their parents, but only if they adhere to the rules of behavior during an attack.
5. When a child gets older, he will cry much less than his peers. With age, he will learn to regulate his emotions, his mental state will become stable, and his nervous system will become stronger.

It is important not to forget that you need to talk through each situation with your child, learn to compromise and help each other.