Aggression in a child at 3 years old: features of growing up a child and methods for solving the problem

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 12:45

The baby was wonderful, cuddled up to his mother, loved the manifestation of tenderness, smiled joyfully, at the sight of homeless cats he ran to pet them. The child grew up, where did the little angel go? At the age of 3, aggression began to manifest itself constantly in a child. What should parents do?

Why does aggression occur?

The baby grows up, he develops awareness of his own personality, he begins to consider the people and things around him from his own point of view. It is still weak, almost unconscious, but already existing. Parents think that a three-year-old child understands little. In fact, at this age, he becomes a manipulator, capricious and hysterical.

The constant companions of a child at 3 years old are aggression and hysteria. The baby has the first protracted crisis, when the child grows out of the society of certain children, begins to treat parents and caregivers differently, testing them for strength. It is important to understand why aggressive behavior begins.

Psychologists note severalpossible reasons:

1. Finding an irritant next to the baby, bringing his aggression into constant readiness.
2. Family environment.
3. Adult rejection of the child's feelings.
4. Kindergarten environment.
5. The baby is constantly feeling anxious.

This is a list of the causes of aggression in children 3 years old, then we will consider each in detail.

Permanent irritant

It would seem that it can excite a child to such an extent that he loses control of himself, becomes rude and prone to constant hysteria? Who would believe that we are talking about modern technology and cartoons?

Parents should admit to themselves that it is easier for them to put their child in front of a TV or give a tablet - let them watch something. And it's good if the choice falls on the good old animated films, because numerous modern films are unlikely to be useful. Of course, there are developing programs in the form of children's programs, no one argues with this. But for the most part, children do not watch them, but films that affect the central nervous system.

The impact of a computer, TV and other gadgets is a sore subject. They negatively affect the central nervous system of children and adults. It is likely that the notorious means of modern technology are the irritant that provokes aggression in a child at 3 years old.

Cartoons act on the psyche of the baby in a rather unceremonious way. One has only to look at the child. How does he position himself? Does he identify with negative characters, trying to imitate them? Hereand found a common cause of aggression in a child of 3 years. What should parents do, how to eradicate it?

There is a way out. You just need to remove cartoons with negative characters, replacing them with kinder tapes. There are many of them, you won't have to look for a long time. Difficulties will arise, we will warn you right away, the baby will try to defend his rights to watch his favorite cartoon. Alternatively, we can say that the heroes fell ill and went to be treated.

Situation in the circle of relatives

Psychologists have proven that in families where parents constantly swear, children grow up to be aggressive people. The fact is that the baby thinks a little differently than mom and dad. He projects adult abuse onto himself, thinking about his own involvement in the scandal. Since the closest people are screaming at each other, it's because of me, I'm to blame.

Here is another reason for aggression in children 2-3 years old - self-nurtured guilt. The kid understands that he is not comfortable being guilty, and is not able to defend himself or stop trying on the situation for himself. Aggressive behavior is the only defense.

The situation in the children's team

Now many mothers and fathers prefer to give their children to private gardens, motivating this with the best supervision and attitude from educators. On the one hand, there is some truth in this, because in a group of ten people it is easier to observe children than when there are more than thirty of them. But specific children go to private kindergartens, many of them are too spoiled and behave naughty, and sometimes nervous.

If aggression in children 3-4years becomes constant, perhaps the matter is in the kindergarten. The kid is offended by other children, provoking him to respond. In the state garden, educators also sin with this, resorting to threats or physical pressure to achieve their own goals.

Rejection of children's feelings

Also quite capable of provoking aggression in a child of 3 years of parental error. Let's explain in more detail what is meant. Often aggressive behavior is a kind of cry for help, an attempt to attract attention. Parents do not give the child enough love and affection, others consider the manifestation of feelings to be pampering, others have no time to take care of the baby. It turns out a strange picture: the child has everything except parental care.

Let's imagine a picture when a child caresses his mother, and she is under the influence of problems at work and drives the child away with a displeased look. We admit to ourselves - does it happen? Or an irritated dad scolds the baby when he comes up to him with hugs and kisses. A child who has not received love begins to attract attention in a different way. Attacks of aggression in a child of 3 years old are often associated with this factor.

The second point is the prohibition of the manifestation of negative emotions. Parents, wanting to teach the kid the right behavior, begin to ridicule his negative feelings or scold him for them, preventing attacks of aggression in a 3-year-old child from splashing out in the form of emotions. The baby is crying, and her mother says to her with a grin: "Fu, how ugly you are. Stop crying." Or the son begins to act up, tears appear in his eyes, and dadreacts negatively, telling the child that he is a boy and should not cry. Ultimately, emotions accumulate, having no way out, turn into aggression. In a child at 3 years old, this manifests itself most noticeably.

Permanent anxiety

The child is regularly nervous, he seems to be in danger everywhere. How could it be otherwise if relatives are too protective of their treasure? The child climbs the hill, but the mother is nearby and forbids him to do this, because too many dangers lie in wait for the baby here, more will fall.

The baby is forbidden to go anywhere, everyone is afraid for his he alth. Mom constantly controls the child, not allowing him to get acquainted with the world and live fully. If a child at the age of 3 shows aggression, probably the relatives simply overworked him with their guardianship.

How to react?

The famous doctor Yevgeny Olegovich Komarovsky about aggression in a child of 3 years old says this: it is necessary to respond in kind. It is worth arguing with the opinion of an eminent doctor. Responding with aggression to aggression is tantamount to likening a child. Parents descend to the same level with him, it is unlikely that the child will perceive them after that as leaders.

It is important to remain calm, to avoid reciprocal mirror actions in relation to the baby. Psychologists offer several ways to change the behavior of a child:

1. An unexpected loud sound - a pop, a knock, a shout - will silence the child. It's time to take advantage of the silence and explain to the baby, using the example of fairy tales, how badly he behaves.
2. Read the little aggressor somestories with violent characters. It could be the "Golden Key" with Karabas-Barabas, for example.
3. Keep baby busy with a game that allows you to discharge.
4. Suggest something unusual and funny. For example, call your favorite fairy tale character. In the meantime, the baby is thinking about what was said, smile at him peacefully and offer to laugh at the joke of adults together.
5. Parents may get offended and leave the room, leaving the tantrum alone.

Game Details

You can stop aggression in a child at 3.5 years old with the help of interesting games. Their main direction is to relieve stress, throw off accumulated energy and help the baby discharge. Psychologists identify ten games that contribute to the rapid direction of children's energy in a peaceful direction. Consider them further.

Calling Mom

The name looks indecent, but there is nothing shameful in the game. By "bad" words are meant the most common ones used in everyday speech.

You will need a ball to play. Mother and child sit opposite each other. The parent throws the ball to the offspring, calling him an "offensive" word. For example, tomato, cabbage, radish. The child "calls" her back.

Kicking out the dust

Aggression in a child at 3 years old can be repaid using a blanket or an ordinary pillow. Invite him to knock the dust out of the thing, while allowing him to scream.

Pillow fight

Which of the children is indifferent to outdoor games in the companyparents? There are hardly any.

Turn on fun music that the baby likes, arm ourselves with pillows, and a fierce battle begins. Fighting players have two clear rules:

1. It is forbidden to say hurtful words.
2. You can't hit an opponent with your hands.

If the rules are broken, the game ends immediately.

Snowball fight

The main disadvantage of the game is the waste of a large amount of white paper. They make snowballs out of it and throw them at an opponent. But are these expenses really not worth it for a peaceful environment to be established in the family? It's hard to disagree with this.

Salute, Maria

As in the previous version of the game, you need white paper. The kid tears it into small pieces and throws it up. There is one rule, they announce it in advance: they remove the remains of the "salute" all together, the child helps his mother. The bravest ones can come up with other material to play with, such as pillow feathers.

Roll the ball

Breathing exercises have a beneficial effect on the nervous system. This is evidenced by psychologists who proposed this game as a relaxation for the child.

Mom puts a tennis ball on a flat surface, the baby blows on it. A toy with a strong action of air will roll on the table. A three-year-old will be delighted with this.

Summon Waves

The game is suitable for removing aggression in a child of 3 years old who loves water. The task is simple: we collect warm water in the bath, we offerbaby to blow on it. Waves are formed, the child will like such a discharge. You can even launch a paper boat there.

Wind, you are mighty

Mom or dad participates in the game. The kid is offered to blow off the parent. To do this, both family members sit on the floor. The child draws air into the lungs, blows forcefully on mom or dad. An adult pretends to resist the wind.

Stubborn lamb

The baby lies on his back, stretches his legs. Forcefully throws them out, hitting the air. The moment of impact is accompanied by the word "no". If the family lives on the ground floor, you can kick the floor.

Home football

A small pillow is taken, an adult and a baby play football with it. The object can be kicked, thrown or taken from the opponent. It is forbidden to push, swear or act up. The game ends as soon as one of the listed rules is violated.

Childish jealousy

It would seem, why is this subsection here? We are talking about the aggression of the baby, but not about his jealousy. The fact is that at the age of three, the child begins to actively show a possessive attitude towards his mother, being jealous of everyone. Dad, grandparents, girlfriends - it doesn’t matter, he needs the constant presence of his mother nearby.

If the youngest child appears in the family, you should be prepared for the manifestation of aggression and hysteria on the part of the eldest offspring. You can’t punish for this, mom needs to allocate time for a three-year period. It's hard, the mother needs rest, there is no strength for the older child. Sometimes it causes irritation. But it is important for a child to understand that his motherloves, nothing has changed with the birth of a brother or sister.

Keel your older child more often, letting him know that his mother is nearby. Children have a great need for physical contact. Especially with your mother, you should not forget about it.

If friends came to visit, the parent sits with them and drinks tea, then you should not push away the baby who came into the kitchen to show his love. Very often, young mothers are embarrassed to show tender feelings in front of strangers. The kid will draw the wrong conclusions, deciding that they love these aunts at the table more than their son or daughter. It is possible that the three-year-old will be discharged on the objects of irritation, which are her mother's girlfriends.

Should I talk to my baby?

It is unlikely that a three-year-old child will understand why a mother lectures him after a child has bitten her, for example. Going on a lecture for a couple of hours is an absurd exercise, but it's worth having a little conversation. You need to seat the child next to you, ask why he did this, explain that the mother is hurt or unpleasant, depending on the offspring's actions.

Should I hit a child?

We return to Dr. Komarovsky, who talks about the mirror response to the baby in case of aggressive behavior. Should he be yelled at or physically punished?

It all depends on the psyche of the child. Others will learn from the spanking and realize that they behaved badly. Someone will throw a huge tantrum. It is better for mother to know how her child will behave at the moment of bodilypunishment.

A simple example: a three-year-old girl was very fond of biting when she didn't like something. All the household members suffered, even the cat got it. Grandmother and older brother could not cope with the aggressive girl, dad worked hard and came home when the daughter was already asleep. Most often, the mother got it, the poor woman humbly endured the antics of the baby. One day she got tired of constant painful bites.

When the daughter once again bit her mother, she gave her a good beating and asked if the girl was in pain. To an affirmative nod, my mother said that it hurt no less than a biting child. After this preventive measure, the girl stopped showing aggression.

Conclusion

From the article, readers learned about the types of aggression in a child of 3 years old, the mistakes of parents, the possible causes of the development and appearance of such a reaction, methods of struggle. We often do not take our children seriously, dismissing their feelings and emotions. They seem to us small and unintelligent. In fact, at this age, children understand much more than their parents think.

Aggressive behavior attributable to the crisis of three years is associated with a misunderstanding on the part of mom and dad. It is better to give a few minutes to the baby, having de alt with the problem, than the whole family will suffer from his aggressive behavior, tantrums and whims.