How to apologize to a guy if you are to blame?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Each of us sometimes makes mistakes, takes out anger on a loved one or acts towards him not in the best way. To ask for forgiveness in time and correctly means to give up your pride for the sake of a loved one and relationships. How to apologize to a guy so that he forgives? How to do this so that he does not hold a grudge?

Very difficult to find the right words. And it's even harder to approach an offended person. What if he rejects the apology and the relationship collapses completely? To prevent this from happening, you need to ask for forgiveness in a timely manner, and most importantly, sincerely, if you are really to blame. How to apologize to a guy correctly will be discussed in the article.

You can never ask for forgiveness if the girl is not to blame

A very important rule in relationships is not to apologize if you are not at fault. There are people who are offended for a reason and without it. They use their partner's guilt to blackmail and manipulate.

For example, a guy doesn't like his girlfriend wearing make-up, wearing skirts that are too short, or cutting her hair short. Heconstantly offended by this, arranges scenes. Thus, the young man manipulates the girl, the more he is allowed to do this, the more often he will do this.

Apologize only when you really have guilt.

Apology and justification are two different things

So, to apologize - it means to admit one's wrong, to take responsibility for the perfect act. This is a difficult step, but it must be done. How to apologize to a guy? The easiest way is to say that you realize your guilt, you understand that you should not have done this. And no excuses, because they will cross out everything said and question the sincerity of the words.

One more rule - do not shift the blame on your partner. If you need to apologize, for example, for raising your voice at him or speaking rudely, then you do not need to say that his behavior is the reason for such an act. Blame-shifting will further aggravate the conflict. We must decide for ourselves - do we apologize or deal with his behavior?

The right moment

You need to act according to the situation. Sometimes it pays to apologize in the midst of a conflict. For example, she said too much, sharply, rudely, plus accused of all mortal sins - it’s better to apologize right away, especially if the quarrel was about a domestic issue.

But how to apologize to a guy if the conflict was serious, there were misunderstandings and resentment? In this case, it is better to cool down, come to your senses andfigure everything out. But it is worth remembering that the longer you delay with an apology, the stronger the resentment will be.

If a girl does not apologize for her mistake for a long time, the guy begins to write off her behavior that offended him, not as a mistake, but as a bad character. That is, he thinks that if a girl does not apologize for a long time, then this is because she does not feel guilty, which means that this is her characteristic behavior.

A few days is the maximum time to say "sorry" and end the conflict. If the fault is mutual, then it is also better to start a conversation first and sort things out so as not to aggravate an already difficult situation.

Words not to say

How to apologize to a guy so that he does not accuse him of insincerity? There are a few words that will nullify all efforts. It's "if" and "but" when used in an apologetic speech, the whole meaning is reversed.

For example: "I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't mean it" and "I'm sorry if my lateness offended you." That is, the second option actually sounds like this: "I'm not sorry", and even in this phrase, the responsibility is shifted to the guy himself: "My being late also offended you."

The guy will think that the apology is feigned and that they are trying to manipulate him.

Looking for a reason

First you need to understand yourself and answer the question: why did you do this? Is the problem in the relationship, in the situation, or in you? When the cause is found out, it must be de alt with.

For example, conflicts constantly occur due toof money. It is necessary to find out what exactly irritates a man in the behavior of a girl. If a guy is dissatisfied with excessive spending, you should watch yourself, agree with him on the issue of budget and expenses. Apologize to each other and seek compromise.

Don't expect instant forgiveness. Especially if the offense is serious and the guy is very offended. It takes time for emotions to cool down, memories to subside.

How to apologize to a guy if you are too guilty? How to start a conversation?

In this case, the speech should be built in such a way that it contains words of regret about what happened, repentance, and you also need to voice your desire to save your relationship. For example: “thank you for agreeing to listen to me”, “I’m to blame”, “I understand you”, “I don’t know how I would behave in your place”, “I want to save our relationship and I’m ready to wait as long as necessary so that you forgive me.”

If a guy accepted an apology, it doesn't mean that he unconditionally forgave. For a while, he will still be angry, watching the girl's attitude towards him. Grievances do not disappear instantly, it takes time for everything to fall into place.

What not to do during an apology

Sobbing, tantrums, tears, pleading and over-dramatizing the situation will not help. Even if emotions overwhelm, it is not necessary to demonstrate them. A man will regard this as a desire of a woman to put pressure on him.

You can try to do something, that is, apologize by action. Show your loved one that he is valuable and important, that they are valued.

So what can be done?

Ways to apologize

All apologies psychologists are divided into correspondence and full-time. They advise making eye contact.

Let's look at how to apologize to a guy in your own words and looking straight into his eyes. This is the hardest way. Therefore, one should not ask for forgiveness without prior preparation.

First, you need to think it over, roughly calculate how he might react. Develop a behavior strategy. You can make a rough plan of when and what to say.

Some tips on what to do and how to behave during an apology:

1. Look only into his eyes - this will indicate sincerity.
2. Tell the truth.
3. Promise only what can be delivered.
4. Don't raise your voice at the guy.
5. Don't blame him for anything.
6. Listen and remember everything he says;
7. If there are disagreements, clear them up right away.
8. You need to behave calmly and with restraint.
9. If there is fault, admit it.

There is no universal advice on how to apologize to a guy, what to do and how to behave. It all depends on the person and the situation, as well as the degree of guilt, and how much both value the relationship.

There is an easier way to apologize to a guy - in SMS. But you can write messages only with smallquarrels. The most common option is to write words (poetry, prose) and insert a sad emoticon at the end. A few tips on how to apologize in SMS:

• message infrequently (after 3-4 hours);
• don't bother a man;
• write sincerely;
• do not repeat the same thing in SMS, otherwise the guy will get tired of reading;
• if he doesn't answer, it means either something is wrong, or he is waiting for some specific actions or words;
• at the end of the correspondence ask: "Are you ready to forgive me?";
• wait patiently for an answer.

Apology should come from the heart and be sincere. Do not be zealous with emoticons or postcards. And the main rule - when apologizing, do not make excuses and do not shift the blame.

Apologizing with a twist, or How to apologize to a guy beautifully

Apologies can be unusual, out of the ordinary. To impress a guy and get forgiveness, it's worth turning on a little fantasy and courage.

Here are some creative examples of the apology process:

• cake with romantic words;
• apology banner;
• a box of wishes (but you should immediately set a limit, for example, no more than 5 wishes per day);
• romantic horse ride, evening, picnic;
• gift or surprise with humor (for example, earplugs, let him cover his ears during quarrels);
• an unusual gift - a plot on Mars or a star with the name of a loved one, the certificate must be placed on the wall;
• romantic gift - T-shirt withjoint photo and beautiful words.

And you can also give a picture embroidered with your own hands, a man-made tree - a symbol of love (if a man is interested in such things), a puppy or a kitten (unless, of course, a loved one loves animals).

Is it worth asking for forgiveness?

Before you apologize to a guy, you should think about whether you need to do it at all.

You should analyze the situation, maybe the guy is manipulating. It happens that, pretending to be offended, a young man is simply trying to achieve something from a girl. If you have come to the conclusion that this is exactly your case, then you should not follow the man's lead. It’s better not to apologize and not take any steps towards reconciliation, let him think and decide for himself what is more important for him - to maintain a relationship or achieve his own.

If the quarrel was due to the fact that the guy and the girl have different opinions on some issue, an apology is also inappropriate. If a woman just thinks differently than a man, this is no reason to feel guilty. Every person is en titled to their own opinion. In such a situation, it is better to just try to find a compromise.

In the case when a young man stands his ground, once and for all it is necessary to decide what is more important for the woman herself: for a man to reckon with her views or attitudes? If a guy does not want to give in, most likely it will always be so. That's his nature.

Therefore, if a girl wants to keep the relationship, she will have to come to terms with the fact that only the guy's opinion will be taken into account. Worth it wellthink if the girl is ready for this.

Conclusion

There is nothing worse than broken hearts. Therefore, the girl, if she is to blame, must apologize to the guy. After forgiveness, you need to start life from scratch and try not to repeat such mistakes in the future in order to maintain a relationship with your loved one.