Evening. Restaurant. Cozy atmosphere. Candles are burning at a table near the window, you and your man are sitting at its opposite ends. Quiet pleasant music plays, a romantic saxophone sounds. You look at your spouse, and he deliberately studies the menu with concentration, from time to time glancing at his watch and taking in the features of the interior of this fashionable establishment. You bury your eyes in your own plate, slowly crushing and kneading the napkin lying next to you. And your thoughts are somewhere very far away, not here, not in a restaurant. You catch yourself on the fact that you have absolutely nothing to talk about with your man. Do you remember the time when you were good together, and in desperation trying to understand - what is happening? Why is it so boring with my husband? And what to do?
Psychologists note the onset of a critical moment in more than every second family. Problemlies in the fact that due to various factors - the financial crisis, adultery, the influence of household routine or any other aspects of married life - in almost any couple there comes a moment when the situation is heating up and the relationship becomes tense. Moreover, experts say that in fact this is normal. It would probably be worse if everyone in the family allowed himself to do what he pleases, and at the same time he would not care about the reaction of his partner.
Boredom, as a potential crisis moment in a relationship, often appears when the monotonous lifestyle of a married couple is not diluted with new sensations and fresh emotions. And here it’s not even a matter of whether the spouses have children and whether they are the cause of this state of affairs. Although, in its own way, here you can look at the situation from the angle of a certain detachment of a woman from her husband's affairs due to her deep involvement in the process of motherhood and upbringing. But then you have to talk about the boredom of a man, not a woman. This man can be disgusted with the cold attitude of his wife towards him and transferring all her attention and free time to children. And what about the woman and her problems in a similar vein? What to do when she is bored with her husband? How to bring passion back into a relationship?
If you suddenly become bored with your husband, your growing indifference to him scares you, try to analyze your relationship and identify the primary source of such feelings. After all, everything in this world is based on the existence of causalinvestigative connections that explain certain objects and phenomena present in nature. And the psychology of the relationship between husband and wife is no exception - here, on the contrary, it is most clearly possible to trace the pattern of consequences that are provoked by specific causes and, one way or another, lead to these consequences. Simply put, each, absolutely every problem has a premise: before a thunderstorm, clouds first gather in the sky.
What are the main causes of boredom in a relationship?
- The monotonous rhythm of life.
- Lack of moments to spend time together.
- Excessive employment of spouses.
- Lack of attention to each other.
- Rare sex.
- Unambitious spouses and aimless swimming with the flow.
In some cases, there are many other nuances, but basically the reasons for stagnation in relations arise due to one of the factors mentioned or a combination of several of them at once.
What to do?
When a woman realizes that she has become bored with her husband, this initially leads to a stupor. But the bottom line is that this kind of phenomenon in a relationship does not happen suddenly. It has, so to speak, a cumulative system of causal relationships, which grows like a snowball and at one fine moment makes itself felt to a woman at the most inopportune moment. The first reaction is puzzlement, a lack of understanding of what to do with what is happening. And then follows the emergence of claims against a man,prejudiced attitude towards him, irritability when dealing with him and indifference to his problems, his desires, in the end, to himself. But how to get rid of boredom, how to save a marriage before it falls apart from cooled feelings?
Psychologists recommend in such cases to go through a few simple tasks that will help assess the situation, look at it from different angles. They will make it possible to identify moments that are critical points in relationships and contribute to the development of a sense of boredom in marital relationships with the greatest degree of influence on the consciousness of a woman. What are these tasks? And what needs to be done to get rid of boredom in a relationship with a husband?
First of all, you need to disengage from your annoying thoughts. Of course, having realized the monotony and monotony of married life, a woman begins to react more sharply to any actions and words of her husband. Every day these claims become more and more, and at one fine moment they still result in a grandiose scandal. In order to prevent the launch of such a psychologically stressful mechanism, a woman should pull herself together and be more objective. After all, it is not at all a fact that the reason for the boring regularity in your married couple is the behavior of only one man. It is likely that the actions of both sides led to this state of affairs.
Therefore, you should not relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening in your family. Stand for a minute in the place of your youngperson: perhaps in his eyes you are also not as active as he would like. Perhaps he, too, would like to see in you a more noticeable interest in him as a life partner.
Variety in bed
Sexologists say that the largest percentage of divorces is based precisely on problems in the sexual life of partners. If young people do not satisfy each other's needs in bed, if an intimate relationship in their life is too rare, if both have become indifferent to their appearance, and, accordingly, to their sexuality, then the likelihood of a couple breaking up increases significantly.
What needs to be done in order for the sexual life of the spouses to return to normal and return to the regularity that was at the beginning of their relationship? In fact, a lot of possible actions can be taken by a woman to help improve the intimate background in a married couple.
- Romantic dinner with continuation - wait for your spouse from work and appear before him in a smart dress, with makeup, hair and a set table by candlelight. Children can be sent to their grandmother. The main thing is that for a man it should be sudden. After dinner with soft relaxing music, invite your husband into the bedroom and do something that will bring you both erotic pleasure.
- Get new sexy lingerie - your spouse may be tired of your conservative taste in choosing your comfortable sports underwear for yourself. Go against your preferences, buy yourself lace, openworkmesh or guipure set. Let it be not the usual black, let it be the color of passion - a bright scarlet or an attractive marsala shade of linen. Your husband will definitely love it.
- Erotic SMS - go against your rules. Are you not used to doing virtual erotica? But after all, your marriage is on the verge of collapse, interfere with the usual boring life in its intentions to destroy your union. Do something that is completely out of character for you. Write an intimate message to your husband. You'll see, when he comes home, he will tell you how such a sudden SMS in a place completely unusual for such things took him by surprise and how much this spontaneity turned him on.
If you suddenly realize that you have become sharply bored with your husband, who constantly disappears at work, is absolutely uninitiative and does not show any interest in you, pay attention to your appearance. Perhaps the very fact that children, everyday life and household chores prevent you from looking good all the time played an important role in cooling your spouse's feelings for you. Choose a day when you can get yourself in order, visit a beautician and go shopping. Refresh your appearance, this will also help you awaken your inner world and attract the attention of your man. This almost always works.
Perhaps you think that you are bored with your spouse because in fact he is bored withyou. He sees your immersion in household chores and his own work and does not risk stirring you up. Pay attention to your lifestyle. Start developing, moving forward. Do what you enjoy. Read, visit theaters, museums, excursions. And even better - involve your husband in this: where to go - you can choose mutually. It can be an entertainment complex, a bowling alley, an art gallery, or a cultural and entertainment event. Such trips will help you expand your horizons and, most importantly, get closer to your husband.
You should always talk to your spouse. Do not cut him, do not claim, namely to talk. Only in this way can you come to a common denominator and reach a consensus. Chat with him more often. Ask how he is doing at work, how he feels after a cold, offer your help in some difficult matters for him. Look for an opportunity to communicate with your man as often as possible. Where to go with your husband, what to watch on TV in the evening, what to cook for your beloved spouse for dinner - these questions should constantly visit your head. If you seek to get closer to him, he will notice this and will meet you halfway.
Tricks with jealousy
If you suspect that boredom in your marital relationship originates from the absence of significant events and incidents, if you are sick of the monotony of your being, make your man jealous. See how his attitude will change and how his degree will increase.attention to you and your pastime. Here it is important not to overdo it, but only to “pepper” the insipid monotonous everyday life a little.
Change of scenery
Finally, so that life does not seem like a boring routine to you, take a vacation and go with your husband to the river, to the forest, to rest abroad. Such things often work most effectively: you yourself will not notice how close you are to your husband, and your feelings will resume with their former passion.