What can not be forgiven a man and a woman?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Almost every person adheres to certain principles throughout life, which can be adjusted depending on situations. One of these can be called a label specially created in the imagination called: "What can not be forgiven."

Let's talk about this topic in this article. What is forgiveness, what can and should be forgiven, and what cannot, because the offender will strike his blow again. In addition, we will discuss that you cannot forgive a guy and a girl when it comes to relationships.

What is forgiveness

Everyone who professes any religion knows that forgiveness is a charitable and right thing to do. It is considered wrong to carry a grudge, but an even more wrong action is the act of revenge. The best thing to do if you have been offended is to forgive the person and let go of the situation, that is, stop thinking about it and beat it over and over again.

Probably, each of us understands that forgiving is right and good, but it is not always possible.

Why don't we want to forgive people?

There may be several reasons for this. Yes, one of the mostcommon - we like to be offended. That is, we have suffered some damage, infringed on our dignity, have pity on us! And if there is no one to feel sorry for, no need - I will just walk around and savor my offense like a slice of sour lemon.

The second reason lies in the impossibility of forgiveness as such. That is, we have certain principles that determine the value of our personality. For example, we say to ourselves: “Here I am so beautiful, you can’t raise your voice at me!” And then life brings us together with a person who did not know this truth about us and “overlaid” us with a three-story mat. To forgive him is to step over your own principles, and this is quite difficult to do.

The third reason may be in what kind of offense we were hurt. What if it is incommensurable, according to our concepts, with nothing? It's one thing to forgive the person who hit or humiliated you. It is possible, albeit not easy. Is it possible to forgive someone who took away the he alth or life of a loved one, voluntarily or involuntarily? Is it possible to forgive a doctor who made a medical error, or a driver who accidentally knocked down a pedestrian? Let's talk about this further and find out what cannot be forgiven and what must be forgiven.

On self-esteem

You know yourself very well, don't you? What exactly do you like and what do you not. Where did you grow up, study, work. With whom you are friends, whom you do not like and whom you would like to meet as your soulmate. The collection of all these sensations, memories and mental images is your self or ego. Imagine: you suddenly lost your memory as a resultaccident. You come to your senses, look in the mirror and see your reflection … You understand - it's you, but who are you?

Memories seem to be erased. It turns out, take away our memory, and we lose ourselves? No, that's not true - we'll lose our self-image, and nothing more.

Now about principles. All your dogmas, ideas and rules are the same feigned components of the "I". You have created them, fashioned them with care, and carry them with you so that your self-identification is as complete as possible. After all, the more you can tell about yourself, the more complete you are. So, know, to the question: “What cannot be forgiven to a person?” There is only one answer: “Everything can be forgiven. The only problem is the will to do it.” If you go beyond your ego even for a second, you will know: you have no principles and rules, and you can pardon even your own executioners in your imagination.

Why we are taught dignity and pride

About what cannot be forgiven, parents tell us in the process of education. This is done for a good purpose - to protect kids from mistakes. After all, everyone should have a sense of dignity, self-love. Mom does not want her daughter to suffer from her husband's fists in the future. A father does not want his son to have his wife cheat on him. Therefore, since childhood, everyone carries in their head a Pandora's box called: "What can never be forgiven." Notice the box is closed. Parents tell us that it is impossible to forgive, but they do not reveal the cards to the end: what will happen if you do forgiveoffender?..

Therefore, every man knows that it is impossible to forgive a woman, and every lady keeps a scheme in her head, what she will not forgive her chosen one and so on. Most often, these principles are solid as flint, and breaking them is tantamount to betraying oneself.

What can not be forgiven: "Ask"-list

Let's make a list of the most acute situations and deeds that are very difficult or impossible to forgive:

1. An insult to human dignity or humiliation.
2. Physical abuse.
3. Treason, betrayal.
4. An accident with tragic consequences.
5. Intentional harm leading to a tragic event.

As you can see, there is always something worse than what has already happened and that "cannot be forgiven." For example, some unfortunate person was publicly scolded and humiliated by the boss. The man vows to himself never to speak to him again and considers him enemy number one.

But if in the evening the same poor fellow finds out that his wife also cheated on him, then the morning situation with the boss will not seem so sad. The boss can already be forgiven, but the wife becomes persona non grata in the soul of this person. Move on. Agree that the same betrayal will not seem too much grief compared to points four or five.

This thought experiment shows that the category of "Unforgivable" is relative and can change in your mind. You are the rightful owner of your principles and beliefs. Therefore, it is up to you to decide whether to forgive the offender.

Learning to forgive

Not being able to forgive is like throwing weighty cobblestones from time to time to your already heavy life burden. Have you noticed what happens in the mind with “unforgiven”, and therefore unresolved situations? Many “pull” memories of how they were offended and teased from kindergarten. Further in life - even more insults. They accumulate and increase in size, at the same time giving rise to complexes and negative expectations from others. “I have been offended so many times - it means I am a loser. Weak person. If I was good, I wouldn't be betrayed so many times.”

Believe (and verify) that forgiveness is the simplest and most natural thing to do in response to an offense. This is what the Bible and the Church teach us. What can't be forgiven? From the point of view of Christianity, there are no such acts. Everything can be forgiven!

Accept the imperfection of the offender. Realize that he is only human. He has his own fears, outlook on life, complexes. Perhaps, by hurting you, he just wants to get out of his quagmire, to rise above, albeit dishonestly, at your expense. Forgive him. Wish him happiness, because a satisfied and happy person will not cause or wish anything bad to another. And you will see that the situation will be resolved, that the burden will fall off you, it will become easy for you! And the offender will leave your life or apologize if this is your loved one.

Forgiveness is my favorite rake

Have you ever heard from women who are regularly beaten by their husbands that they understand whyhappening? Like, my mother told them for a long time that you can’t forgive a man for violence, but they, such and such, forgive, and therefore suffer. How does this fit in with the theory of forgiveness?

It's very simple! Forgiveness is necessary, and even necessary. But the act of forgiveness, alas, does not make the offender a saint. If you forgive an unfaithful betrayal or an aggressive one - beatings, you will not protect yourself from the arbitrariness of this person in the future. What to do? Weigh soberly what kind of person this is, and - most importantly - what place he occupies in your life. Perhaps it would be better to forgive him and… forget, let go on all four sides.

What can't be forgiven in a relationship

For example, you found out that your girlfriend cheated on you. It hurts you, but you love her very much and therefore forgive, decide to be with her further. A year passes, and you again learn about infidelity. Well, you forgave her in vain?

Let's get something straight. Forgiveness does not mean allowing the person to do something wrong to you again. Forgiveness means accepting the situation: “You are wrong, but I forgive you. You are just a person, and therefore you have the right to make mistakes. That's how you should think if you've been hurt. And to continue to live with someone who beats you, calls you names or cheats is another matter. Most likely, a person relates to life and to you personally in a completely different way than you think is right. If you have been betrayed once, there is a high probability that this will happen again. However, it is quite possible that this will not happen again. In general, what to do next is up to you, but you must forgive!

A little more about relationships

Do not ask more questions like: “What can not be forgiven a man?”, As if the representative of the strong half of humanity is some kind of separate subspecies. Every man is unique, every mistake is unique. The fact that you came across not very good "cavaliers" simply says that you are progressing in development and refuse to be content with little.

No less ridiculous are questions like: “What can not be forgiven to a girl?” Remember that you need to forgive a person in any case, regardless of gender and age, and this is important not only for him, but also for you. But whether to build a relationship with the offender further or disperse is already your conscious choice. Forgiveness itself does not commit anyone to anything.

What if a person cannot be forgiven?

There are things for which it is not possible to forgive a person. It is very easy to talk about how to let go of a traitor or foul language in peace, but there are offenses that are very difficult to forget. We are talking about accidents, accidents, negligence, not to mention even greater evil - conscious crimes. How can you forgive a guilty person if a fiend is hiding behind the guise of a person?

Let's be honest, this is a complex topic. You may not be ready to read what we have to say next, and yet it is. Hatred towards someone corrodes your soul. If you have been hurt the most, you have only two options: dig into this trouble, reliving it again and again, or allow yourself to move on by letting go of the situation. What to choose is up to you, as you are the master of your life.

How to forgive a crime and a criminal?

The word "criminal" comes from the word "to cross", that is, this is the person who crosses over universal norms, forgetting about the value of life and he alth. Such people exist and, most likely, will always exist. We cannot look into their heads, read their thoughts, but if we could do this, then, according to psychologists, we would see a child there, whom someone once greatly offended, but he could not forgive. Now it may be your turn to draw a conclusion. But remember that forgiveness is not for anyone else, but only for you.

Summarizing

We may think that it is impossible to forget some things and insults, but with the same success we can just take and "let go" the offender. Remember that forgiving doesn't mean allowing him to continue bullying you. Just try to accept his imperfection, admit that this is just a person who has the right to make a mistake. However, do not confuse forgiveness with permissiveness. If the one who hurts you is such by nature - just leave him and go on your way.

And one more thing that should not be forgotten. The longer you carry the burden of resentment, and the heavier it is, the worse it is for you. You lose your joy in life, your self-esteem drops. Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you, release those people in your mind, and you will immediately be relieved.