Why doesn't a man give presents? How to fix the situation: advice from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Almost every woman is pleased when she is given flowers and gifts. And here her age and social status does not matter, whether she is a meek housewife or even an independent and strong-willed business woman. It is always customary to talk about her as a representative of the weaker sex, and take presents as signs of attention and recognition of her femininity and beauty, even if only sincere.

However, it is not uncommon that a man, who until recently could not come without a gift, forgets to congratulate his beloved even on days of great celebrations. As for husbands, they become extremely "forgetful" about congratulating their wife, but they will not miss a friend's birthday by buying him, for example, an expensive fishing rod as a gift. What happens, why a man does not give gifts, forgets about the holidays of the second half? Worth looking into.

When the bouquet endedcandy period

Giving peaks during the so-called candy-bouquet period, that is, the period of courtship leading to the engagement of a newly formed young couple. Almost daily, the beloved brings and gives sweets, funny soft toys, and various pleasant souvenirs. Although there are more expensive gifts: joint trips, gold and silver rings and other jewelry, beautiful clothes, handbags. But at this time, most of the fair sex do not pay attention to their cost.

A woman literally bathes in male attention and care, and she does not even have a question why a man should give gifts. He just has to, because he loves, because he is a man, and she is his chosen one. Joyful intoxication with love continues for everyone at different periods. There are also such lucky women to whom husbands, friends, loved ones are ready to give not only their adoration, but also attention, even if expressed in inexpensive pleasant little things.

But not everyone is so lucky. For some girls, even the period of courtship does not bring the joy of receiving any pleasant surprises. If this is so, you need to be prepared for the fact that in further relations with this man, little can change in this regard. And then it’s not worth wondering why a man doesn’t give gifts, because there weren’t any before.

Let's look into the reasons

To understand the reasons for this behavior of a representative of the opposite sex, it is necessary to analyze the conditions that contribute (or not) to the desire to surprise the woman you love. Themthere may be several, and each of them has its origins.

Get a gift or spend money?

In some publications devoted to solving this problem, direct text gives recommendations on how to divorce a man for money, and not understand why a man does not give gifts to his beloved woman. A rather vulgar wording, more acceptable when it comes to relationships that are not related to love, romance and feelings based on mutual love and respect. There is only one thing in this approach: to “pump out” as many gifts as possible from a we althy fan, using all possible female features for this:

• take a gift for granted without expressing much gratitude;
• demand more and more expensive offerings, arranging long conversations about the importance and necessity of acquiring this particular thing, even if there is already a similar but cheaper one;
• reproach the fan for his stinginess and greed, for not appreciating her best qualities, if the presented gift, according to the woman, does not reflect the level of her feminine beauty and sexuality;
• to combine the reproaches of a loved one with hugs and tears, continuing to whine about the thing you like.

There are other tricks that will help to pull out of his wallet as much as such a woman wants. Only what relation these actions can have to the desire to understand why a man should give gifts to a woman is not clear.

Should I?

Some time ago, there was a phrase in fashion that in a family where a girl grows up, a little princess is brought up. Manyparents, having understood this phrase literally, raised capricious girls who do not know how to do anything, but constantly demand attention from men. They are completely sure that the chosen one should please his beloved and shower her with gifts. And let him be happy already that she is next to him.

Such an attitude is possible, and some gladly accept it, but they become hostages to the whims of the beauty and may lose her if the presented gift is not expensive and status enough, according to the girl.

They are not like us

And yet, most women who marry for love do not look like those mercantile beauties for whom only the thickness of the purse of a fan or husband is important. And each expects her husband to remember her not only on March 8 or on her birthday, but also wants to surprise her just the way it was before. These dreams come true not always and not for everyone. But psychologists say that you should not dramatize the situation. They are convinced that men are not misers and soulless "crackers": they are simply not like women. They are different, they think differently and perceive this world.

No matter how bitter it is to state, but most of them believe that at the end of the candy-bouquet period, the deed is done and there is nothing to play with romance. They are more mundane, they don’t understand why now he, the husband, needs to constantly kiss his wife and tell her how beautiful, smart and tender she is, because otherwise he wouldn’t marry her! And he does not understand the wife's question about why the man stoppedgive gifts. He simply does not see the need for it, because everything is fine anyway.

And he has an empty pocket

There are more serious and unpleasant reasons why a man does not give flowers and gifts. In fairness, it should be noted that among them there are really quite a few greedy and too prudent, trembling over every penny and then reproaching their wife for extravagance. Such people themselves will not buy a gift for their wife, and she will not ask to do this either.

But in most cases it is different. A man may not have enough money for the right present, and he has no one to borrow the required amount (not to ask his wife or fiancee!).

It happens otherwise. After the wedding, all the money from the husband's pocket migrates to the wife's purse, which, on account of the report, gives him insignificant amounts. If a man who earns money is in such a humiliated position, it is difficult for a woman to count on any gifts at all.

Do you gift your man?

A lot of anecdotes and funny phrases have been invented about the attitude of women towards receiving and giving gifts, one of which is as follows: “Well, on February 23, they gave socks and shaving foam, now on March 8 we will wait for fur coats and diamonds . Ironically, this is the case in many families. For some reason, it is believed that a man does not like gifts. But in vain. He will gratefully accept a present from his beloved woman. True, it is formed not to a teddy bear and a bouquet of flowers, and not even to a fashionable jacket, but to the electric drill of the latest model. What to do: theypragmatists, but they also love gifts. Therefore, please your men with useful gifts, and they will not be in debt.

Help him decide

If a woman decides to find out why a man does not give gifts, she may unexpectedly face a surprising answer: he is afraid. Yes, but not the gift itself, but the opportunity to give not what you need or like. If it is known that a husband or beloved man suffers from just such a phobia, but you want to get a solid present, psychologists advise gently helping him:

• periodically talk about the benefits and the urgency of acquiring this thing (the benefits are a must);
• explain where you saw her and how you got there;
• inform about its cost (possibility to borrow).

Such "processing" will not go unnoticed: a man will understand that such a gift will be very useful and appreciated. A woman will definitely receive it, and the strong half will be satisfied that the present was to her liking. If a man does not know how to choose and give gifts, do not be shy, but take and teach him. In the end, it will only benefit!

Psychologists advise such training to be carried out in the form of a game, in which both partners will have to buy gifts for each other for the same amount.

To do this, you should go to the supermarket, where there is a large selection of various pleasant things. Having agreed on a time to choose a present, both spouses go to the windows and counters, and then meet,for example, in a cafe located here. The couple exchange gifts, thank each other, and explain their choice priorities.

The main thing is not to forget: buy from the bottom of your heart, wanting to bring joy to your partner, and thank you for the gift received from the bottom of your heart. No need to be afraid to seem ridiculous, offering such an unusual game. A loved one will understand and connect with her with pleasure.

Receive gifts the right way

Often, representatives of our beautiful half of humanity cannot understand why men do not give gifts to their loved ones. Women know that they are loved, but they do not present surprises. And they are unaware that they themselves weaned their husbands, loved ones, friends from giving them gifts.

Remember what a woman often says when she accepts a present:

• No need to worry.
• Shouldn't have spent so much.
• Oh, why so expensive".
• D is not a gift of happiness".

And so on. And as a result of such propaganda - the absence of these same gifts. It's a shame? Yes, but who is to blame? Herself!

And I love you very much too

When asked why men do not give gifts to women, the answer can also be found in how the gift is received. When a wife or a loved one is dissatisfied with a present, its price, if the recipient sincerely thanks the donor, regardless of the cost of the gift, realizing that he tried to please her, the man will want to “distinguish himself” next time. He will try to please his beloved woman, and the question is,why a man does not give gifts will be removed. You will feel loved and desired again!