How to find a common language with a teenager? Communication with teenagers: psychology

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Many parents face problems in raising a teenager. They ask themselves: "Where did the charming, sweet child go? How could he have changed so much?" And closer to the graduation party at school, the child becomes generally uncontrollable. Parents should remember that this is a common problem for many families. One way or another, this period must be overcome and try to improve relations with a son or daughter. We will try to understand this issue and understand how to find a common language with a teenager.

Difficult age

There are parents who are afraid of the transitional age of their children. What if they get out of control, start smoking and drinking, label themselves as "hipsters" or run away from home?

It's actually not that scary. Not in vainadolescence is called the "spring of life". And for most children, the sweet time begins. At this moment, it is necessary to learn to control the situation, support the child and not spoil the happy moments of youth. To cope with this, one should plunge into another world - into the world of a child - and understand what changes take place at such a young age.

Another world

Surely many parents began to notice that the child began to speak a different language, dress strangely, be rude, provoke scandals, ruin hair, listen to wild music and attract attention. Communication between teenagers and parents is fading away. They do not understand each other, because fathers and children are different generations, which have their own values, worldview, vocabulary, aesthetics, and so on. Naturally, the unknown is scary, especially when it comes to your own child. And in order to understand the mysterious world of a teenager, first of all, he needs to be listened to, understood and accepted. Parents are ready for dialogue, but children are in no hurry to share the most intimate…

What to do in such a situation?

Studying such sciences as developmental psychology and developmental psychology, most experts have come to the conclusion that the path to a child lies through understanding. To begin with, you should accept the fact that he may have other interests, even if his parents do not approve of them. Remember yourself in your youth, what you wanted then, what was missing …. Having compared your desires and behavior in youth with how your child behaves, it is necessaryset new rules in your home: let your son or daughter listen to music they like, wear whatever they want, use jargon without using profanity, and you just have to understand and accept it.

The more benevolent parents will treat a teenager, the faster he will open up and let him into his inner world. Imagine the following situation: the child went abroad. He fell out of our reality, began to speak a different language. After his arrival home, you will have to find a common language with him.

What not to do

At this age, modern teenagers begin to experiment with cigarettes and alcohol, get into bad company. This behavior horrifies parents. In addition to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, there are several other vices that can affect a teenager - these are Internet addiction, extreme hobbies and unprotected sex. And here the worst begins: the more parents forbid, swear and punish, the more actively the child reaches into his own world - into the world of non-childish hobbies. And no matter how hard parents try, communication with teenagers leads to nothing.

Psychology as a science says that such experiments have one feature. Indeed, in this way, children learn about the world without understanding where the boundaries of what is permitted end. If the conversation is about bad company or games with death, then you should ring the bells, the child is lost in the real world.

If a teenager "left" in computergames, this suggests that he replaces his prosaic days with fantasies. Drugs are used by children who want to numb the pain. Bad company is associated with teenagers who feel like strangers at home.

Certainly, there is no such recipe that could insure a teenager from dangers on his way of growing up. But sometimes the parents themselves exacerbate the situation: an unhe althy atmosphere in the family, scandals, screams, swearing, a negative example of the elders - all this pushes the child into the abyss.

Directions to move in

Today's teenagers need help. In order to protect your child from dangerous situations, you need to act in three directions.

First of all, arm him with the right information. Some psychologists advise taking the child to an oncology center, where patients lie who at one time became interested in cigarettes. Show him the drug treatment center and talk about the consequences of drug abuse. Today, many modern teen magazines publish information about how bad habits and dangerous experiments affect the life of a child, what this leads to.

If you do not know how to find a common language with a teenager, you should go in another direction. Create the most trusting atmosphere in the house, treat the child with love and respect. Forget about aggression towards anyone. It is necessary to create such an atmosphere that he does not want to run away from home. Advice to parents: do not smoke or drink alcoholdrinks in the presence of a child - he can take an example from you, and talking about the fact that smoking is dangerous to he alth will be in vain. Children copy the behavior of their parents, so you need to become a shining example for your child. Control your emotions, be able to listen, and most importantly, understand. Live his life together, and then he will not want to run away from home.

The third direction is a firm ban on dangerous games. If a teenager violated it, then the violation should be punished. Features of communication with teenagers lies in the sequence of actions, you can not let go of the situation. For example, you caught a child with a cigarette, the punishment should not be aggressive or emotional, forbid him to walk for a week and do not break your word.

Sex. What is this?

According to statistics, most high school students lose their virginity at the age of 15. Sexual desire is dictated by nature, and this is normal. But for a fifteen-year-old child, especially for girls, it is still too early to have sex at this time. And you can understand parents who are afraid of childhood sexuality, unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Fear pushes parents to make a series of mistakes. No need to tell a teenager that sex is a terrible sin. Sexual attraction will not go anywhere, but the child will have a lot of complexes. The time will come when he will need to create a family, and with what mindset will he approach such an important decision?

Developmental psychology and developmental psychologyregarding sex, it is advised not to engage in moralizing. It is better to convey to the child as much information as possible, to explain how dangerous unprotected sex is, what an unwanted pregnancy can lead to. At the same time, you do not need to get into his personal life.

How to get along with a teenager

Adolescence is also called a fateful, crisis, vulnerable, difficult. During this period, a new person is formed who strives to become an adult and tries to get rid of parental control. The child seeks himself, and in his search he makes many mistakes. Many parents understand this, but do not know how to find a common language with a teenager in such a difficult time.

It certainly upsets parents when their son or daughter becomes rude. Why is this happening?

Why are kids being rude?

The fact is that aggression is dormant in every person. According to psychologists, in such qualities as purposefulness, the desire to assert oneself and the ability to defend one's position, it is precisely aggressiveness that is laid down. But it is worth noting that this quality sometimes helps a person survive. Therefore, aggressiveness carries both a positive and a negative charge. And the form of its manifestation depends on the situation, character and upbringing.

Often, parents themselves are the cause of their child's rude behavior. If everyone in the family speaks in a raised voice, does not respect each other, then the child will grow up the same way. And how can parents demand a good, respectful attitude towards themselves from a teenager if he does not understand what it is, because he does notcan?

Mistakes of parents

Top mistakes parents make:

• lack of control;
• meeting all needs;
• tough relationship;
• hypertrophied control;
• strive to raise a child prodigy;
• emotional rejection.

In order for a child to grow up calm, obedient, that is, the way his parents want to see him, first of all, it is necessary to give him freedom. “If you don’t touch a tree, it will grow straight.” The child has grown up, and it's time to get used to this thought.

1. Parental moralizing irritates the child the most. Communication with a teenager should take place on a positive wave. The child has his own views and opinions, and this must be taken into account.
2. Compromise. By arguing with each other, no one will prove anything to anyone. Negative emotions will not lead to understanding.
3. No need to reproach, offend a teenager and sting at him.
4. Be firm in your decisions and consistent. You cannot demand from a child what you yourself do not fulfill.

This period is very difficult, and communication with a teenager can lead parents to a dead end. It must be remembered that this is youth, and the child is full of strength, he wants to love and be loved, conquer peaks, do crazy things, he is interested in everything. It is at this age that he needs good friends, and it is good if they are parents.