Recently, it is quite common to hear that future fathers are present at the birth of children. Joint births have become very popular. However, it is not necessary to speak about their benefits unambiguously. It is important to take into account all the nuances, especially since the process is associated with the birth of a person. Quite often, women in such a situation behave in a way that is not characteristic of them in ordinary life. To make a balanced and deliberate decision, it is necessary to study all aspects of the issue.
Where to start
In order to understand whether the presence of a husband during childbirth is necessary or not, you need to decide for yourself whether you are ready for such a step. It is important to decide why a woman wants her partner's presence. You should not demand this from a partner in a family in which there are problems. Childbirth with a husband can be a catalyst for deepening it. There will be a feeling of guilt that a partner will experience for the pain and labor hardships of a woman. It is necessary to exclude the desire to manipulate.
It is necessary to find out the opinion of the husband and how he relates to joint childbirth. After all, you can find many stories in which women greatly regretted what happened.
In any case, for the spouse to make the final decision rightwill be its preparation and inclusion of information. Going to new parenting classes together and reading positive stories about joint births can create the necessary emotional state for a man to make a decision. Pressure from a woman in the matter of joint childbirth with her husband should be completely excluded. After all, there are myths in the male head that are important to dispel.
The probability of a man falling into shock from everything he saw during childbirth is not as great as it is commonly thought, for the reason that the spouse is at the head of the woman. Rumors of a decrease in attraction to his wife are also exaggerated. In this case, obstetricians would have no sex life at all.
So if a man himself shows a desire to be present during childbirth and it coincides with the desire of the expectant mother, then there are no obstacles from doctors. However, it is better to resolve this issue in advance, since joint childbirth with a husband may be unacceptable in some cases. Doctors are usually warned about them. In addition, before being sent to the hospital, preparation for joint childbirth is necessary. This applies to the technical, organizational, moral and physical side.
The role of the man during childbirth
Women who had the experience of giving birth in a couple with their spouse note that their help could not be overestimated. They helped to distract from severe pain, provided support. After all, childbirth can last up to 12 hours, starting from the first signs, ending with the separation of the placenta. No doctor can devote so much time to one patient. At just such a momentthe future father can become a real helper who will run after the nurses, control the periods of labor, bring water.
It is very difficult to predict how a woman in labor will behave, and a husband during childbirth can become a person who will make important decisions if necessary if the expectant mother is not able to do so. Before you go to childbirth with your spouse, you should tell him about how this process takes place, what stages it consists of. Indicate what his role will be on each of them.
The first stage and the help of the spouse
A husband giving birth to his wife at the first stage can:
- Fix the time and intensity of contractions, as well as breaks between them.
- Support a woman, create a comfortable psychological environment in order to prevent panic and hysteria.
- Help you relax between contractions or massage your lower back to relieve tension.
- Help a woman perform exercises to alleviate her condition.
- Help with proper breathing during contractions.
- Ensure maximum contact with the medical staff to make a joint decision on interventions, whether it be the introduction of drugs or surgery.
When more intense contractions and contractions begin, the second stage begins. At this time, the child passes into the pelvis and beyond. During this period, the role of a man is reduced to the following actions:
- Active guidance of the breathing process and reminders of how to do it rightdo, as a woman in such a situation can be absent-minded and forgetful.
- Helps to assume the most comfortable position of the body during muscle contraction.
- Moral support.
- In order to more clearly convey the instructions of doctors to the woman in labor, since at the time of childbirth, the woman is not able to focus on both the birth and the instructions at the same time, but the partner can do it.
Sometimes getting information about how far a child has come can greatly encourage and empower a woman.
After the completion of the immediate delivery, the young father can, under the supervision of a physician, cut the umbilical cord and place the baby on the mother's breast. Often people like to capture such moments on a camera or camera to preserve memories.
The last step is the separation of the placenta. The process can also be painful, and yet at this stage, the father has the opportunity to thank the staff for their help and support.
So sometimes a man can be the best helper for a woman during childbirth. And joint preparation for them will bring future parents even closer, give them the opportunity to equally share responsibility after the birth of a child. It is participation in such an important event that will make the father more attentive and close to his family. After all, the awareness of the birth hardships that a woman goes through for the sake of having a child can make the family even stronger in the future.
What do you need for co-birth?
If the decision has already been made, it is important to know what is needed for jointchildbirth with her husband. After all, not everyone imagines all the specifics of the process and is prepared for it. That is why it is important to send a man to courses, where they will explain to him what childbirth is, how it goes, and how he should behave. On them, he will be able to master the basic techniques of anesthetic massage and breathing, as well as exactly how to support his partner in a psychological sense.
In order for childbirth with a spouse to be possible, certain formalities must be observed. We will talk about them further. Be sure to pass tests for the presence of her husband at birth:
- for syphilis;
- hepatitis C and B;
You also need to undergo a fluorography, get a certificate from a therapist about the state of he alth.
However, the list may be smaller or larger, it all depends on the requirements of the maternity hospital or the chosen clinic.
Things for father
A set of necessary tests and documents for dad needs to be supplemented with a bag. It is different from my mother's and includes the following set:
- Clean, changeable cotton clothing (some maternity hospitals may provide these themselves).
- Clean socks.
- Rubber shoes.
- Food and drink.
The latter is especially necessary. After all, childbirth is not a momentary process, and a man’s being in a state of hunger near a woman giving birth can become an even more difficult test for all participants in the event. It is also allowed to take equipment for filming to joint births.
Joint birth: pros and cons
Like any new trend,the situation when the husband is present during childbirth causes a lot of controversy. Each of the parties justifies its attitude to this issue in its own way, citing its own arguments and arguments. They can be reduced to a specific list, which you need to familiarize yourself with when making a decision. When you can take your husband with you to childbirth:
- If the level of trust is so high that it does not cause discomfort in a woman from not the best condition and appearance.
- In a stressful situation, a man can pull himself together, mobilize and behave adequately.
- If a man is ready to take responsibility for the baby.
However, it is more reasonable to refuse to find a partner in childbirth if:
- Trust between spouses has not reached a high level. This is most often seen in very young couples.
- With a conservative approach to the upbringing of one of the partners. Pressure can have the opposite effect.
- There are doubts about the advisability of joint birth with one of the partners.
- A woman is not used to sharing her problems with a man and letting him solve them.
- A man's emotionality is so high that he can't control himself when stressed or panics easily.
- A man is not very patient, because childbirth lasts for hours, and the wait is unbearable for him.
- The husband is used to being the center of everyone's attention. This type of man is also not suitable for childbirth.
- Husband can't take responsibility.
When a man himself expresses a desire to be at the birth of his other half and does it consciously, such an event can give a couple a positive experience. Overcoming trials together make relationships better and stronger, and childbirth is nothing more than overcoming difficulties. They give incomparable happiness.
That is, giving birth with her husband:
- Improve relationships, especially when they were already trusting. This can be characterized as a kind of transition to a new level of intimacy.
- Help to form paternal instinct faster. Male psychology is arranged in such a way that men begin to experience love and affection for a child only after some time. Most often, only by the time the child begins to speak.
- Give the opportunity to establish a special bond with the child if the acquaintance with the father happened in the first minutes of life.
With all the pros and cons, anything can happen during childbirth. For this reason, finding a man next to a woman in labor is not possible in all cases. Sometimes it happens that the presence of an extra person is unacceptable for medical reasons.
When not to give birth together?
Modern medicine is capable of miracles. However, she is not always able to control the pregnancy so that no complications arise. Moreover, some pathologies and problems are detected at a fairly late date.
Let's look at possible reasons that may prevent a spouse from attendingat birth:
- The presence of threats and pathologies during pregnancy.
- Birth at risk to mother and baby.
- Birth by caesarean section, as this is a real abdominal operation and there is a risk of infection if careless.
The list can be longer, depending on the hospital and obstetrician.
Stress during childbirth
Among the medical contraindications to partner childbirth is the stress experienced by a man. Particularly impressionable can take what is happening so close to their hearts that they begin to feel guilty, which can develop into a real complex. Labor activity for women is designed so that her brain can move away from the experience very quickly under the influence of a powerful release of hormones of happiness. This is what helps girls not be afraid of re-birth.
So, taking your spouse with you to the hospital, it is important to be sure of his readiness, while such a decision should not be a tribute to fashion. In this case, joint birth can cause irreparable harm to the relationship as a whole.
However, one can often find descriptions from the experience of doctors when finding a spouse negatively affected a woman. This also needs to be known to the couple who have decided to give birth together. It is necessary to discuss in advance what and how to do when the moment comes for the future father to leave. This will save both of them having to apologize or feel guilty towards each other.
In additionit can be said that forcing a man to attend childbirth for the sake of improving relations is unreasonable. If there is no agreement in the couple, then childbirth with her husband can lead to complete discord, while enduring all the experiences and seeing the child, the man can simply enter into a very serious fight for him because of awakened paternal feelings. After all, if divorce is unavoidable in any case, then you need to be prepared for such a turn of events.
Definitely you can not take revenge on a man, thus, for some offense that only a woman knows about. Indeed, during pregnancy, the hormonal background changes so much that all words seem unfair.
The meaning and consequences of joint birth for the family
The presence of a husband at childbirth always has consequences, which can be completely different. They can even be divided into groups. So, after giving birth:
- Intimate attraction between spouses can simply fade away. It is generally accepted that this is due to the fact that a man saw his woman not in the best possible way. Although, rather, such a result is associated with a poor and not strong foundation in the relationship from the very beginning.
- The second development scenario is that a man will begin to see in a woman more of a mother of his child, showing her respect and honor while praising her. Such a development of events can cause the fire to die out in a relationship. Then the woman needs to take all the initiative to make it clear to the man that she is still a loving girl and partner.
- It is also possible that the couple will experience a sense of unity and a deepening relationship and a special spiritual attachment, what elsestrengthen the alliance more.
- And the last option, when nothing has changed in a couple's life. Although it is difficult to imagine this, given that a family is truly born only with the appearance of a child, especially when it is an extension of the feelings of parents.
It is impossible to say unequivocally that a husband should not or should be next to his wife during childbirth. The decision is individual for everyone. It requires thought and preparation. If a man wants this and a woman agrees, joint study of the issue and preparation can make the process as comfortable and painless as possible for further relationships. It is very important not to put pressure on each other and be able to discuss all issues of concern.
After all, being next to her husband at such a responsible, exciting and difficult moment can give a woman strength and confidence, both in her own safety and in the safety of her child. After all, in a girl who has become a mother, all thoughts are automatically directed to providing comfortable conditions for a new life. The man who is closest is perceived by the newly accomplished mother as a source of protection.
Presence of husband at birth, reviews
Many new dads say they're glad they took part in the birth. They note that at that time they were useful to their wife, helped her morally and a little physically. The hardest thing, men say, is to watch the contractions of his wife. In the process itself, it becomes easier mentally. After all, soon everything will end and the long-awaited baby will be born.
They also write in reviews about the presence of a husband at childbirth, whichit's necessary. After all, the spouse at this moment is in dire need of support. A husband is especially needed if the birth takes place not in the maternity hospital, but at home.
Some guys think that childbirth with a husband is unacceptable. In the reviews, they write that this will not bring anything good to anyone. It is believed that joint childbirth is harmful to intimate relationships. They destroy them in some way.
As you can see, there are radically different opinions about going to birth with your husband. In the reviews, people also write that before the event itself they were frightened about the possible consequences. But nothing happened, relations only improved, became warmer.