Naughty kids are the norm?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

There are no naughty children, just as there are no perfectly obedient children. Every child behaves differently in different “suggested circumstances”. And that's okay. Time, place, people with whom a child interacts, and a wide variety of other factors can turn any angel into a demon, and vice versa.

A child is always naughty for some reason, and not just like that. The task of an adult is to understand the cause of children's whims. Of course, the age of the child must be taken into account. The disobedience of a three-year-old toddler is completely different from the “pose” of a teenager, but they are based on one thing - the desire to attract attention to oneself, to show character.

From the point of view of psychology, the problems of raising children are exacerbated at certain life stages. Naughty children may justifiably misbehave just a few times in their lives. This refers to the so-called crises of 3, 7 and 13 years.

At the age of 3, the individuality of the child begins to appear quite rapidly. During this period, it is very important to understand that the behavior of the baby is now due not so much to his personal qualities as to natural human characteristics. During the crisis of three years, the child develops the position “I myself”, which in the world sounds like “I don’t want, I won’t, no.”

This is a difficult period, and not just for parents who are shocked by the transformation of their complaisant child into an uncontrollable imp. It is not easy for the three-year-old herself, who still cannot cope with her emotions and defends her rights in all available ways.

You can make life easier for each other by accepting the rules of the child's game. That is, it is better to agree that he is an adult and has the right to solve some harmless problems himself, for example, what color to wear socks. At the same time, in some fundamental issues, an adult must be firm and not allow the child to manipulate him.

At 7 years old, the next difficult period begins. The child goes to school, finds himself in a new environment for him, begins to actively communicate with his peers. A new authority arises in his life - the first teacher. You need to prepare for the fact that “Maryivanna” will become for your child the smartest person on the planet, her word is the law, and you can argue with your parents. Naughty first-graders now live according to completely different laws: if they are praised in class, their significance will grow, and if their mother kisses her treasure in front of everyone, they can laugh. And again, parents have to accept the rules of the game - at school you need to “keep up the mark”, and at home you must give him your affection and warmth, which the child still needs very much.

When a child turns 13, parents realize that all previous problems were not problems at all. Adolescence is a test of the “strength” of the parental nervous system. This crisis is very reminiscent of the philosophy of three-year-olds "I myself", only on a different level, now naughty children can easily raise their voice, slam the door, inflate a loud scandal out of nothing, and so on. What to do during this period? First of all, be patient. To be a support for a child, the main and most faithful friend, a vest, a wizard - anyone, if only he felt that his parents love him, despite all his tricks. Growing up, children distance themselves more and more from their parents, and it is very important to be able to maintain true intimacy.

Naughty children, no matter what age they are, are just children. They all also need love, care and protection. If at some point in life the parents cannot cope on their own, it is better not to bring the matter to serious conflicts, but to turn to a specialist. A psychologist for a child can become, if not an adviser, then a “hint”, help him understand himself and, as a result, help improve the atmosphere in the house.