2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Expecting a baby is always full of joyful dreams, plans and hopes. Parents paint their future life with a baby in bright colors. The son or daughter will be beautiful, smart and always obedient. The reality turns out to be somewhat different. The long-awaited baby is really the most beautiful, intelligent and beloved, and sometimes even obedient. However, closer to two years, the character of the baby begins to change. So much so that parents stop recognizing their child.
The baby becomes extremely difficult to handle. More recently, so sweet and accommodating, he becomes capricious, hysterical and strives to do everything in his own way. Of course, parents are aware that between two and three years the child enters its first transitional age.
Psychologists call this period “the two-year-old crisis”. He's still a very small child - 2 years old. Often freaks out and is capricious. However, this knowledge does not make it easier. Life next to a little tyrant becomes easyunbearable. The kid, so obedient and cute, suddenly becomes stubborn and capricious. Tantrums occur many times and out of nowhere. Moreover, if the child set out to get what he wants, then it will not be possible to distract him by switching his attention to something else. The kid will stand his ground to the last.
Confused parents
Most parents are unprepared for such changes. What happens to the child takes them by surprise. Even if the baby has an older brother or sister and the parents have already gone through something similar, still always throwing tantrums, a nervous child creates an unbearable atmosphere in the house. Parents, frightened by the thought that the baby may have serious he alth problems, seek help from experienced acquaintances. However, few people dare to turn to a specialist and get advice from a child psychologist.
The advice of the townsfolk in such cases is given of the same type. Most are inclined to think that the child just needs to be “asked properly” so that he knows how to behave. However, such methods do not bring benefits. The child is nervous and freaks out even more, bringing loved ones with his behavior literally to a nervous breakdown..
How a tantrum manifests itself in a child. 2 years - test age
Most often, the baby resorts to a violent demonstration of his discontent. Falls to the floor, scatters things, hits parents, breaks toys. Moreover, reasons for discontent sometimes arise from scratch. For example, a child wants water. Mom gives him a bottle, which immediatelyflies to the floor. It turns out that the baby wanted the bottle to be full, but it was only half filled; or the kid yesterday ran through the puddles in rubber boots and wants to put them on today too. Explanations that today the sun and boots are not needed on the street do not help. Child throws a tantrum.
It must be said that sometimes parents are not afraid of the tantrum itself, but the reaction of those around them. In a situation where your child is constantly freaking out or rolling around screaming on the floor, it is difficult to remain calm. Especially if it happens in a public place full of "well-wishers". Mothers are at a loss. What happened? What is missing in education? What to do if the child is nervous and naughty?
Most often the parents are not to blame in such situations. It's just that the baby began his first transitional age. Child psychologists call this condition the two-year-old crisis. The cause of the crisis lies in the child himself. The kid is actively exploring the world around him, which constantly presents him with surprises. He wants to be independent, but he still cannot manage without the help of his parents. Moreover, the help itself is often actively rejected. This is how the child becomes hysterical. 2 years is a rather difficult age for both the baby and his parents.
While the baby was very small, he felt himself one with his mother. He calmly allowed himself to be picked up and carried from place to place, fed, dressed and performed many other necessary manipulations. Beginning to realize the limits of one's own "I", the childat the same time trying to find out the limits of what is permitted in relation to other people. Although sometimes it seems to parents that they are deliberately pissed off. However, this is not the case. The child learns to communicate, tries to realize how much his power over other people extends, and tries to manipulate them. Adults are required to show restraint, not succumbing to provocations.
There is no set date for when a child will start showing character. On average, it starts at two years and ends at about three and a half years. If a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and is naughty, then this can be called the age norm. The only question is how to survive this period with the least losses.
What parents should do
Not paying attention is perhaps the most sensible advice that can be given to parents who are going through their first crisis with their child. It is worth putting aside what is right and wrong for a while and let the child have his own experience. Within reason, of course.
“I myself” ─ this is the phrase parents hear most often now. I'll dress myself, I'll eat myself, I'll go for a walk myself. And it doesn't matter that it's +30 outside, but the child wanted to wear warm leggings outside. Negotiations with a stubborn kid will end in a violent tantrum. The best thing to do in such a situation is to simply allow the child to wear what he wants. Let him go outside in warm breeches. Just bring light clothing with you, and when the baby gets hot, change it. Along the way, explaining that now the sun is shining, and you need to dress lighter.
A similar situation is repeated at lunchtime. The child may want to eat sweet semolina porridge, dipping s alted tomato into it. Trying to feed him "right" will only lead to him giving up on both. Let him eat what he wants and how he wants. If you can't watch it, just don't watch it.
Give your child more freedom and don't treat him like a toy. He is a human being just like you, and he also has the right to make mistakes. Your task is not to protect him from all troubles, but to help him gain his own life experience. Of course, it is much easier to dress a child yourself than to wait for him to do it himself. Just give yourself a little more time to get ready. In addition, try to listen to the opinion of the child himself. After all, he is also a person and has the right to listen to him. If it's time for lunch, and the child refuses to eat, then most likely he is not hungry yet. Go towards him. Most likely, he will soon get hungry, and you will feed him without any problems.
Connect with your child through play
Games for children 2 years old are the main way to interact with the outside world. To the question: "What do you do?", a child of 2-3 years old will probably answer: "I play." The child plays all the time. If he has toys, he will play with them. If there are no toys, then he will invent them for himself.
Often parents complain that the child has a lot of toys, but he almost never plays with them. Most often this happens whentoys are lying around, disassembled and broken. The child simply forgets about them.
In order for the child to remember his toys, they must be in front of him. To do this, it is best to keep them on open shelves. Large toys are best placed on the floor so that the baby can easily get them. Place medium-sized toys directly on the shelf. Here they will look most attractive.
All sorts of small items like small cars, figures from Kinder Surprises, beautiful pebbles found on the street, put them in small boxes. On top of each box, place one item from those that are in it. So the child will understand where whose house is.
Don't give your child all the toys at the same time
If a child does not see all his toys at once, then he will remain interested in them longer. If too many toys have accumulated, then collect some part and hide it. after a while they can be shown to the child. He will begin to play with them with no less interest than with new ones. Of course, you should not hide those toys to which the child is very attached. Some are worth keeping where they are used most often. For example, your daughter's toy kitchen utensils can be kept in a toy box in the kitchen. This will keep your own cookware intact.
Son's toy tools can be stored next to dad's. In response to the request of the baby to give him a hammer or drill, give him his own toy tool. Bathing toys are best stored in the bathroom, and the ball, withwhich he plays on the street, it is better to settle in the corridor.
Think of activities for your child
Perhaps your child is constantly acting up because he is just bored. He is still very small and cannot always figure out how to play with this or that toy. In order for the baby to always be in business, get a special box for all sorts of interesting little things. At the right moment, you will take out a ribbon from the box, from which you can make a leash for a teddy dog, in which he has already lost interest, or a patch for a new dress for a doll.
During play, your baby tries to be closer to you. In his games, he will gladly accept your offer of help, but he is unlikely to want to be given instructions on what to do. Games for children 2 years old are all kinds of research, experiments and new discoveries. You should not try to explain to him the purpose of this or that toy or rush to answer a question that he himself could not really formulate. That way you can ruin everything. Try to give the child the opportunity to be the leader in his game and follow him.
Help the child, be his partner
Your baby may think of some business, but will not be able to carry it out due to the fact that his physical abilities are still very limited. Help him, but don't do everything for him. For example, he planted a tree branch in the sand and now wants to water his "flower bed". Help him carry a jar of water to the sandbox, but do not pour the water yourself. After all, he wants to do it on his own. If you deprive him of such an opportunity, then there will be no scandal.pass. The child has not yet learned how to correctly express his negative emotions, so hysteria often occurs in children. 2 years is the age at which not all children still know how to talk properly. Not being able to give weighty arguments in defense of his position, the kid throws a tantrum.
Many games are simply impossible to play by yourself. You cannot catch or roll a ball if there is no one to throw it, you cannot play catch-up if there is no one to catch up with you. Often children have to beg their parents for a long time to play with them. After much persuasion, they reluctantly agree, but after a few minutes they say: "Well, that's enough, now play it yourself." Or, agreeing to play, they announce in advance that they can give the child only 10 minutes. After that, the child does not so much play as fearfully waits for the promised minutes to end and they will say to him: “Enough for today.” It is clear that you will not be able to play all day, but sometimes it is worth pretending that you yourself really want this. Give your child the opportunity to enjoy the fact that he himself finished the game when he wanted. Games for children 2 years old are their very life.
What to do if a child has a tantrum
No matter how carefully you treat a two-year-old child, situations still sometimes arise in which it will not be possible to avoid tantrums. Unfortunately, a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and is naughty. Sometimes he has tantrums. According to statistics, more than half of two-year-old children are prone to tantrums and outbursts of rage. It happens to manyseveral times a week. Tantrum-prone kids are usually very restless, smart and know what they want. They want to do a lot of things and have a very bad attitude towards the attempts of adults to prevent them from doing this. Having met an obstacle in its path, a small child (2 years old) often freaks out and is capricious, wanting to achieve his goal.
Flying into hysterics, the baby is unable to control himself. He can't see or hear anything at all. Therefore, all objects that get in his way usually scatter in different directions. The child may fall to the floor and scream loudly. When falling, it can hit hard on the floor or furniture. Parents are usually at a loss, they do not understand why the child is freaking out, because just now everything was fine. The baby may scream until he is sick. At the same time, parents find themselves in a state close to panic, they do not know what to do if the child is nervous and naughty.
It is very difficult for parents to watch such pictures. Especially when the child turns very pale and it seems that he is about to lose consciousness. True, he will not cause serious harm in this way to himself. The defensive reflexes of his body will come to the rescue, which will force him to take a breath long before he can suffocate.
How to help a child
First of all, you should try to organize the life of the child so that he does not have nervous overload. If the child has become nervous, the symptoms will be visible immediately. These are frequent outbursts of rage. When these outbreaks become too frequent, they will not lead to anything good. If you forbid something to a child or forcehim to do something that he is not very pleased with, then try to show as much gentleness as possible. Do not try to keep the child in a rigid framework. In an attempt to protect himself, the child will throw tantrums regularly.
Sometimes parents hope to improve their child's condition by self-administering sedatives. Moreover, they "prescribe" the drugs themselves on the advice of relatives and friends. Doing this is strongly discouraged. Only a doctor can prescribe sedatives for children. 2 years is the age at which the child is still extremely vulnerable, uncontrolled use of drugs can harm him.
If your baby has a tantrum, watch him carefully so that he does not harm himself. During a tantrum, the mental state of the child is such that he may not remember what he did while he was rampant. So that he does not cripple himself, try to gently hold him. When he comes to his senses, he will see that you are next to him and the scandal he has arranged has not changed anything. Soon he will relax and fall asleep in your arms. The little monster will turn into a baby who needs affection and comfort. After all, this is still a small child (2 years old). Often psychotic and capricious, but at the same time desperately needs your love, affection and comfort.
There are children who absolutely can not stand it when they try to restrain them during hysterical attacks. This only exacerbates the hysteria. In this case, do not use force. Just try to make sure that the child does not harm himself. To do this, remove all breakable and easily broken objects from his path.
Don't tryto prove something to a hysterical child. Until the attack passes, absolutely nothing will affect him. If the child is hysterical, do not yell at him. It won't make any difference. Some parents, trying to bring the child to his senses, begin to beat him. Usually, this not only does not calm him down, but, on the contrary, makes him scream even louder. In addition, you can not calculate the strength and cripple the baby.
Don't try to explain something to a screaming child. In a state of extreme irritation, even an adult is difficult to persuade. And what can we say about a two-year-old child. After he calms down, do not start the conversation first. Many children take this as a concession, and the screams may start with a vengeance.
Better wait until the child comes to you. If he comes to you, hug him, caress him and act as if nothing happened.
Often, parents are horrified at the thought of their child "playing a concert" in public. They are ready to make any concessions, as long as he does not have a tantrum. This practice leads to completely opposite results. Children are very observant and know very well how to manipulate their parents. Don't be surprised if your child starts having tantrums regularly and in the most inappropriate places.
Let your baby know that tantrums won't get you anything. If he was furious because you forbade him to climb a high ladder, do not allow it after he calms down. If before the start of the tantrum youplanned to go for a walk with him, go as soon as there is silence, and do not remind the child of anything.
Most children's tantrums are designed for audiences. As soon as you go into another room, the screams miraculously stop. Sometimes you can observe a rather funny picture: the child screams with all his might, rolls on the floor. As soon as he finds that no one is around, he falls silent, then moves closer to his parents and starts his "concert" again.
When is it time to go to a child psychologist?
You need to contact a psychologist if the child's tantrums become too frequent and become protracted. In particular, they do not pass, even if the child is left all alone. If the parents have tried all the ways, but still it is not possible to overcome the tantrums, then it is time to seek advice from a child psychologist. In order to find a good specialist, ask your friends who have already been helped by a child psychologist. Reviews will be a good guide for you. In addition, it is worth visiting a pediatric neurologist. This doctor will prescribe the necessary examinations and, if necessary, prescribe sedatives for children. 2 years is the age at which natural herbal preparations are most often recommended.
Sometimes the cause of children's tantrums lies in family troubles and lack of consent between parents. Even if the parents never quarrel in front of the baby, the baby still feels the nervous atmosphere and reacts to it in his own way. As soon as they come to an agreement, calming their thoughts and feelings, like tantrums in a child right therestop.
Being a child is just as difficult as being an adult. However, time is on our side. Very soon, you will find that the two-year milestone has been passed, and all the tantrums are far behind.
Recommended:
Raising a child (3-4 years old): psychology, tips. Features of the upbringing and development of children 3-4 years old. The main tasks of raising children 3-4 years old
Raising a child is an important and main task of parents, you need to be able to notice changes in the character and behavior of the baby in time and respond to them correctly. Love your children, take the time to answer all their "whys" and "what for", show care, and then they will listen to you. After all, the whole adult life depends on the upbringing of a child at this age
How to decorate a room for a birthday party? Child 2 years old, 5.10 years old: a beautiful room on his birthday
There are many options for decorating a room for a child's birthday party. For decoration, you can use balloons, paper flowers, inflatable toys, photographs and sweets
Child's menu at 2 years old. Nutrition for a child at 2 years old: menu
The body of a baby at the age of 2 years has not yet developed to the state of an adult, so his nutrition should be different. Also, he is no longer a crumb to eat grated dishes and liquid porridge. How to feed a child at 2 years old and how to properly compose a menu for a week - more on this in the article
Constipation in a child 2 years old - what to do? Causes and treatment of constipation in children 2 years old
Babies can very often have bowel problems. After all, their body is still being formed. But besides the main problem, there is another one. The baby cannot explain to his parents what worries him. Therefore, one should be extremely careful in order to recognize in time the symptoms that characterize constipation in a child (2 years old). And it is important to know how to help the baby
Where to give a child at 4 years old? Sports for children 4 years old. Drawing for children 4 years old
It's no secret that all adequate parents want the best for their child. And, of course, so that their precious children become the smartest and most talented. But not every adult understands that they have only one right - to love the baby. Very often this right is replaced by another - to decide, to order, to force, to manage. What is the result? But only that the child grows up depressed, insecure, indecisive, not having his own opinion