How to raise a child's self-esteem? Recommendations and useful tips from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Children who have good self-esteem from an early age, as a rule, reach great heights in life. How to raise a child's self-esteem? It is simply necessary from the very beginning of the educational process to instill such qualities so that then an adult can stay in the wave of competition in adult life both at work and in personal relationships.

How to raise a child's self-esteem at 6 years old? You should not force him to follow clear rules, it is necessary that he understands their meaning and begins to adhere to them on his own. The child must initially believe in his own strength, fulfill himself and try to make any action better than others.

Parental guilt?

Most often, parents do not try to find a middle ground in the manner of education and stick to one of two options. They either constantly perform all the actions of the baby instead of him and at the same time report that he will not succeed. Or they force the child to do some work on his own, which he simply cannot do yet.

BIn the first case, the kid, in the end, will believe the words of adults and conclude that he himself will not be able to do anything. And in the second case, the baby will get tired of the futility of his actions and stop taking the initiative.

In most cases, only adults are to blame for a child's poor self-esteem. Therefore, you need to think before making an inappropriate remark or even insulting your child.

Reason for uncertainty

A child who is brought up with love will certainly appreciate his skills, he alth and the people around him. Such qualities will be very useful to him in his future profession. A girl with normal self-esteem will never allow herself to be hurt at an early age, and then will not tolerate the humiliation of marriage in adulthood.

Children with good self-esteem constantly want to achieve more in all areas of their lives. They study well, attend various sections and are engaged in self-education. But often the parents themselves lower the self-esteem of their children with their own hands.

The following are a few situations that are quite common in family relationships and lead to a decrease in self-esteem in children:

1. "You can't do anything on your own." Mothers often from the first years of a child's life do even feasible actions instead of their child. She won't let him open the juice box for fear that he will get dirty. He does homework instead of his son so that he does not get a deuce. Thus, the feeling of independence is suppressed and the child eventually no longer tries to donothing by myself.
2. "Masha knows more letters than you." Never compare your child to others. Even if a comparison is made with children in the same family. All kids are individual, with their own temperament and abilities. Someone quickly learned the letters, while the other already knows how to play chess, while the third one very quickly cleans up the toys. Do not compare school grades with other grades of classmates. How to raise a child's self-esteem? Even if the child brought a triple - he deserved it. This, of course, should not be encouraged, but it is not worth humiliating the child either. The main thing is that in the future the child correctly chooses his life direction and follows it.
3. "You disgusting child." This is one of the biggest mistakes parents make when raising their children. They evaluate not his bad actions, but his personality. In other countries, such phrases are prohibited in relation to their children. Moms tell them, making remarks: "Such a good boy did such a disgusting thing." This is a very correct approach to education. Especially often you can hear such a phrase from the lips of Jewish parents. Maybe that's why there are so many successful people among the representatives of this nation?

These mistakes lead to the humiliation of the child as a person. He gradually comes to terms with the formulation of questions and ceases to strive for the best. A calm existence without unnecessary attempts at self-realization will become the best way of life in the future.

More mistakes

There are also reverse situations when parents do not allow self-esteem to rise and stop suchchild's attempts in the bud:

1. "Do what everyone else does and keep your head down." This relic in education has been going on since Soviet times. The child is equated with everyone and is not allowed to show him personal qualities. It used to be driven into everyone's head that everyone should be the same. This is a very wrong position. In our time, the time of competition has come, which means that only the strong win in it. How to raise a child's self-esteem? If a boy has a craving for dancing, then you should not send him to sports, like everyone else. Maybe in time he will become a ballroom dancing champion or a world-famous ballerina.
2. Indifference. Very often, in the swiftness of the flow of life, parents cease to notice the small successes that the child makes. The maximum that the baby can hear is "Well done." But he wants to appreciate his painted portrait or molded figure from plasticine. Indeed, in early childhood, most often parents become the only spectators and listeners of the baby. Only they can support and appreciate him.
3. Rejection of appearance. Self-esteem can be destroyed in an instant, if at least once "walk" on the shortcomings of the child's appearance. Most often, the words of adult loved ones are perceived as the true truth. In no case should you tell your teenage daughter that she has recovered greatly. It is necessary to buy a subscription to the gym and offer to go there together or go for a couple of morning runs. Very often, remarks that were made to a child in childhood about his appearance develop into very strong complexes in the future.
4. Excessive severity. Often, parents, for any reason, do not miss the opportunity to punish a child for any even an innocent misconduct. Therefore, the child is subsequently afraid to take an extra action so as not to receive a comment. Subsequently, a very insecure adult grows out of such a child.

It is very important to always keep abreast and feel the mood of your child. The result of educational conversations or actions will depend on this. When a child is very excited, then it is not worth it morally to “finish off” him even more. Let him calm down a little and then the notations will be more productive.

It is worth noting that remarks and punishments in front of other adults and children also significantly reduce self-esteem. It is better to deal with all the missteps and bad behavior at home, and not in a public place.

And in the circle of friends of a child, you should not make loud remarks at all, otherwise he may also lose friends, which leads not only to a decrease in self-esteem, but also possible depression.

Common mistakes: how to raise self-esteem in a child at 10?

Very often, adults who could not realize themselves in life begin to “recoup” on their own children. For example, a mother who could not become an artist actively begins to send her daughter to drawing classes and does not even notice that she has absolutely no talent and desire to develop further in this direction.

It is worthwhile to clearly understand that a child is a separate person, and not a repetition of you. Perhaps the child dreams of studying foreign languages, but he is not given a chance to turn around in this direction. As a result, it will turn out that the daughter will not become an artist and will not be able to assert herself in the field of translators.

As a result - not a self-actualized person with a bunch of complexes and with an unfulfilled dream. How to raise self-esteem in a child at 13-15 years old? Everyone understands that such actions are far from evil, but it is worth calming down your ambitions in time and letting the child choose his life path on his own.

Praise your child

How to raise self-esteem and confidence in a child of any age? A very important rule that parents often forget about is the praise of their child. And not for beautiful clothes or a smile, but for deeds. Helped you pack your things, took pity on a kitten in the yard, brought your neighbor's bag - all these actions deserve respect and praise.

There is an opinion that a child can get spoiled from too much attention. Then parents generally forget about their functions - the main evaluator of the baby's actions. If a child is constantly left without praise after his positive actions, he eventually stops doing them.

How to raise a child's self-esteem at 5 years old? This age is very controversial regarding the child's understanding of the consequences of his actions. Therefore, it is necessary to feel the measure in the number of comments made to him in one day. If you constantly talk to a child about his shortcomings in behavior, then he will become completely confused and out of control.

A few more rules:how to raise self-esteem in a child at 7 years old?

There are a few tips to help answer the question of how to boost your child's self-esteem:

1. It is necessary with the baby, from an early age, to share their personal thoughts. In this case, he will feel like an important part of the family. For example, before a trip to your grandmother, you can choose a gift for her together or discuss during a walk which store we will go to first. And, of course, you need to listen to his opinion. Otherwise, the significance of children's opinion in the family will not be proven.
2. Please help. It is necessary to stop thinking that the child is too small to do simple housework. For example, at 7-8 years old, you can easily vacuum the floor or water the flowers. And at the age of 13, a teenager can easily cook dinner not only for himself, but for the whole family. You need to let go of your overprotectiveness and understand that children grow up and can do a lot on their own.
3. Many parents are unhappy when a boy cannot defend himself in controversial situations. It is not necessary to teach the child to be the first to go on the attack, but it would not hurt to stand up for your interests in certain situations. For these purposes, athletic qualities would help, so the sections will be an excellent solution to the problem. Just be clear that you should not expect quick results.
4. Experience all difficulties together. A lot of children perceive even the most insignificant loss with great bitterness. It is very important to tell that without such situations there are no big victories. The child must understand that the path to success is often quiteis not easy, and you need to go through many tests in order to achieve your goals. In this way, children gain self-confidence, and unsuccessful attempts are quickly forgotten.

Many parents underestimate the talents of their children. When accompanying a child to school, it is necessary to wish him good luck and say that he will definitely cope with all the tasks. Thus, adults program the child for successful actions.

And if you constantly say that the son is the same loser as his father, then you can not be surprised at poor school performance. Children are often very sensitive to distinguish between sincerity and lies. It is necessary to truly believe in your child, even if, on a subconscious level, parents understand that he is weaker than others. From such faith, the child becomes stronger on a subconscious level. So he can acquire unexpected positive qualities.

Proper help

Often, adults do not adhere to the golden mean even in the simplest activity - doing homework. They either completely fulfill it instead of children or leave their child alone with unsolvable tasks.

How to raise a child's self-esteem at 9 years old? It is necessary to complete such tasks together, but not immediately say the answer in order to save your time, but push the child in the right direction and then the decision will come to the child on their own.

It is very important to offer your help, not to impose it. The child must ask for help himself, then he will feel yoursupport in controversial issues in the future. You can also raise the self-esteem of a child at the age of 10 in this way.

Complexes about appearance

Children's self-esteem very often suffers due to any shortcomings in the body or speech. Therefore, parents should see the problem in time and try to solve it. Otherwise, in the future, complexes will develop that even the most experienced psychologist may not be able to cope with.

How to raise a child's self-esteem at 12 years old? You need to talk to your child about his concerns. For example, if a child suffers from excess weight, then together with him get accustomed to proper nutrition and go in for sports. The problem of protruding ears in a girl can be solved with a hairstyle, and with a burr speech, contact a speech therapist.

If the problem cannot be solved, then it is necessary to assure the child that he is the best and most beautiful, despite his shortcomings. Thus, a strong versatile personality will grow out of an insecure and notorious child.

Don't overwhelm

It is worth remembering that with the wrong upbringing, you can grow a proud narcissist. Therefore, with praise, you must be very careful. It is not necessary to cover him with kisses and honors with every simple action of your child.

In this case, the child will not be able to separate the significance of their actions. It is forbidden in the team to allow one member to do things that are forbidden to the rest.

Be sure to give the child compliments, but in relation to appearance, such words should not be excessivefrequent. A kid from an early age should feel the limits of what is permitted and stop in time in his wrong actions in order to avoid the prescribed punishment.

Parents should show the child that he is not the head of the family, but his opinion is valuable and taken into account. First of all, he is a child, and must respect his elders and listen to their opinion.

Conclusions

Self-esteem, first of all, is formed in the family where the child lives. Success in all spheres of life in the future will depend on the degree of its development. It is in the power of parents to prepare the child for the future adult life.

Many successful people couldn't reach their heights if they knew it was impossible. How to raise self-esteem of a child at 13 years old? First of all, you need to love your child, listen to his opinion. In this case, he will open his wings and fly with confidence through life. Only confident people can achieve all their goals.

All these rules will help you understand how to raise your child's self-esteem. Then peace and tranquility will reign in the family. Parents will be sure that the heir will become a successful person in the future, and even if some goals are not achieved, then there will be no big tragedy in the family.