A child is afraid to sleep alone: reasons, advice and recommendations from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

If a child is afraid to sleep alone, and also to stay in his room without loved ones, then, as child psychologists say, this is the pinnacle of the problem. The true cause of fears is hidden in the depths. Anxiety that interferes with sound sleep can be caused by a variety of reasons. Parents are obliged to be attentive to their children and try to help them so that they gain peace and confidence, and also learn to sleep alone.

Children's fears

The child is afraid to sleep at night because he is scared. Fears are different: some are associated with personality traits and general well-being, others are due to society, family environment, social environment, others are the formation of the psyche or are considered age-related, which are inherent in each individual.

Fear is called the emotion of survival, which mobilizes all the forces of the body in the face of real or possible danger. In other words, it is necessaryemotion. When the baby grows up, parents themselves teach to be afraid of electrical outlets, hot irons and the like. However, if this feeling is obsessive and there are no prerequisites for it, then it negatively affects him, disturbing peace and sleep.

How to deal with fear?

First of all, moms and dads need to learn to watch their speech and emotions. Children of early and middle school age see themselves as they are represented by their relatives, that is, timid, unable to do anything. Adults forget that their child has already learned a lot, but, unfortunately, this is not recognized and is constantly questioned. This behavior of parents creates fear. Only understanding, love and care will help you become more confident.

Fear of the dark

Why is a child afraid to sleep alone? The most common childhood fear is the fear of the dark. Many children are afraid to be alone in the dark and lose sight of their mother, or without the help of an adult, it is difficult for them to calm down before going to bed. During and after breastfeeding, this phenomenon is quite understandable. The reason is the close connection of the baby with his mother, only with her he feels protected. With age, these problems go away, and the child is calmly left alone. However, when your child does not let go of his mother, does not sleep in his bed, wakes up in the middle of the night and runs to his parents, then you should think about the reasons for this behavior.

Reasons that interfere with restful sleep

Why is a child afraid to sleep alone? There are many reasons why sleep can be interrupted. Here are some of them:

1. Negative news or footage seencatastrophes shown on TV are put off by disturbing thoughts.
2. If a parent punishes a child by locking them in a room with no light, they will certainly get scared and endure their fear when the door opens.
3. Scary imaginary monsters or intimidation of babies, such as Baba Yaga, also interfere with peaceful sleep. If people close to him tell him that he can be carried away, then he has no reason not to believe it.
4. Older children can also scare a toddler by telling creepy stories.
5. Negative emotions that have arisen lately can develop into fear and disrupt a child's sleep.
6. An emotionally oversaturated day, including an excess of positive emotions, provokes restless sleep.
7. Night nightmares can frighten both a toddler and a teenager.
8. Conflicts with peers or teachers cause poor quality sleep, leaving an unpleasant mark on the day.

Thus, all imaginary fears and worries experienced can develop into constant anxiety. This condition does not allow the baby to feel serene and protected. Therefore, being alone in the dark with your thoughts becomes a serious test for the child. He wants to get rid of such bad emotions as soon as possible, and parents, to whom children turn for help, can help in this first of all.

Fears and anxieties that arise depending on the age of the child

Depending on the age category, night fears and anxieties differ:

1. In two or threeyears, the kids begin to attend kindergarten, be independent, make friends with other guys. Anxiety, disturbing sleep, can also appear due to negative impressions, terrible programs, discord between parents, imaginary monsters and other things. Therefore, it is very important for mothers and fathers to communicate with the baby, to calm down, to find out the cause of the excitement. He should feel involved and assisted.
2. A child at 6 years old is afraid to sleep alone, what is the reason? At this time, there is a transitional period, that is, kindergarten ends, and school years are ahead. He makes many friends, he becomes socially active. The imagination in this age period is developed and therefore it can be disturbed by nightmares. In addition, there is a lot of excitement associated with new events, with the outside world. The task of parents is to clarify the incomprehensible, provide support in a changing environment and comfort.



3. At the age of ten or twelve, the teenage slump or crisis sets in. At this time, all adverse reactions are aggravated, the understanding of problems is aggravated. Internal turmoil and a mysterious fright arise from quarrels with parents, mood swings, etc. Constant thoughts, fear of loneliness interfere with proper sleep. It is necessary to maintain friendly relations in the family, to delve into the problems of the child, to sympathize and tune in a positive way.

How to help primary school students?

If a child began to be afraid to sleep when he started going to school, then for children aged seven to eight years, experts offer the following methodrelaxation. Lying in bed, think about what brings positive and pleasant emotions. In particular, imagine yourself running on the sea sand under the rays of the gentle sun. Of course, it is best to carry out an imaginary journey in the presence of mom, discussing aloud what you see and inventing different stories or discussing imaginary pictures that pop up. After some time, the child will be able to do this without the participation of the parent.

The next way is to mentally set up a protective wall that won't let trouble or danger through.

If a mother has little time, and she is not able to stay with her child for a long time, then you can turn on your favorite music or audio fairy tales. However, this will not replace live communication, which gives confidence that loved ones will always come to the rescue in the fight against fears.

When do you need specialist help?

If a child at the age of 8 is afraid to sleep alone, and fears do not go away or there are obsessive phobias, then it is recommended to seek help from specialists. Dreams, tantrums, restless nights and stressful conditions are quite capable of being signs of a disorder. Do not allow to overcome this problem and strained relationships, and the wrong tactics of behavior in the family circle. It is impossible to ignore such issues, since such a condition affects not only good sleep, but also the he alth of the child. In addition, as he matures, he takes his unconquered fear with him into adulthood, along with other positive examples.

Why is a child afraid to sleep alone in a room?

With medicalpoint of view, the cause of this problem may be as follows:

1. Immaturity of the nervous system.
2. Psychological - jealousy, anxiety, suspiciousness, excessive impressionability and more.
3. The child's psychotype is an extrovert.
4. Some features of the course of pregnancy and delivery.

In all of the above cases, the help of specialists is required: a child psychologist, a neurologist, a neuropsychologist.

Other common causes

The most common causes are:

1. Overexcitement. A strong revival an hour before bedtime can turn into a sleepless night.
2. Fear of something new or changes in life. For example, a child at 7 years old is afraid to sleep alone because he has a strong experience before entering school. For older children - before exams or leaving their hometown. For kindergartners - a new bed, a long trip and more. In addition, feeling unwell can also provoke fear.
3. Fear and fearfulness of fictional or fairy tale characters. For example, they perceive any rustle or rustle of foliage outside the window as the appearance of monsters.

Regardless of the reasons that provoked the baby's fear of sleeping alone, parents can help. And in most cases.

What if the child is afraid to sleep alone?

To do this, there are several ways to help maintain a positive attitude and get rid of fears. Parents can't:

1. Ignore the nightmares and fears of yourchild.
2. Swearing or arguing in front of a child.
3. Scare with negative characters that will come and take him away, as well as scary stories.
4. Laugh at fears.
5. Play along by saying monsters do exist.
6. To put pressure on the baby. To say that he is already big and it is ridiculous to be afraid of the dark.
7. Read scary tales and tell scary stories, show the same cartoons.
8. Show confusion or weakness.
9. Punish the baby by locking him in a dark room.

Sometimes, a child, reporting his fear, simply wants to attract the attention of his parents, to be alone with them, so you should not immediately send him to sleep alone. Most likely, he does not have enough care and communication.

What is parental help?

If a child is afraid to sleep alone in a room, then experts in the field of child psychology recommend:

1. Choose a thing that symbolizes safety - sleep better with your favorite toy. In addition, mysterious words can be whispered to her and she will keep them secret.
2. Stay in the next room and talk - the kids are calmer when they hear a calm mother's voice behind the wall. The silence frightens them and creates new fears. A bird cage or aquarium has the same effect, as they hear sounds during the night as they do during the day and calm down quickly.
3. Dedicate more time to the child during the day - if during the day the baby received enough attention, affection and care, then he is more calmwill feel at night. The fear of falling asleep comes from a lack of attention, love and care.
4. Compose a ritual of immersion in sleep - an hour before bedtime it is better to complete outdoor games. Then everything is individual, for example, drink a glass of kefir or milk, take a shower, brush your teeth, listen to a fairy tale read by your mother, hug, wish good night.
5. Use a night light - children get used to the dark gradually. When a child is afraid to sleep alone, you should not turn off the light, close the door and leave him alone in the dark, just because you think the baby has grown.
6. Pay attention to the interior of the children's room - it is best to equip it with the child, taking into account all his wishes. Add more bright colors and fill all the gaps with your favorite toys.
7. Play with night terrors during the day - playing blind man's blind in a playful way will teach you not to be afraid of the dark. And a witch's wand placed under the bed will protect sleep.
8. If the baby woke up, it is advisable to repeat the ritual of laying down - when a frightened baby ran to you at night, then it is advisable to hug and calm him down. Then take him to your room and wait until he falls asleep, making it clear that you are there and will always help him.

When a child is afraid to sleep alone, then parents need to be calm, as any nervousness is transmitted to the baby, and he suffers from this. And if dad and mom say with confidence that together they will defeat all the monsters, then the kid sincerely believes in this and he becomes calm.