Tantrums in children 4 years old: causes, psychologist's advice, what to do

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Tantrums in children 4 years old is a standard stage of growing up, through which absolutely all kids go through. Sometimes the parents themselves are to blame for the occurrence of whims. How to prevent this and how to deal with children's tantrums, we will consider in the article.

Main reasons

Tantrums in children 4 years old are normal at this age. Kids have a lot of desires and interests, which often diverge from the understanding of adults. If a child fails to achieve his goal, then he tends to experience a feeling of anger and irritation. Therefore, we can conclude that the main cause of tantrums are disagreements with adults.

Consider the situations that most often provoke the baby's whims:

1. The desire to attract maximum attention to your person.
2. The desire to get something important and necessary.
3. Unable to express dissatisfaction verbally.
4. Lack of sleep, fatigue and hunger.
5. Illness or post-illness condition.
6. Enhanced adult guardianship.
7. Strict parental control over the child.
8. Lack of a pronounced attitude towards the positive and negative actions of the crumbs.
9. Mistakes made in raising a child.
10. A break from an entertaining and interesting activity.
11. Weak or unbalanced warehouse of the child's nervous system.
12. Unfinished system of rewards and punishments in the baby's family.

Tantrums in a 4-year-old child and the reasons that cause them are most often associated with the above situations. Faced with the whims of children, parents do not always understand how to behave in such cases, and only want the kids to calm down as soon as possible, satisfying their demands.

Children's tantrums often throw adults off balance. Parents should understand that much depends on their behavior and reaction in such situations, namely, whether tantrums will last for years or cease to exist after several unsuccessful attempts. In practice, it was found that adults who are indifferent and calm to children's whims more often achieve positive results in the fight against such manifestations.

Mom help me

What is the essence of the occurrence of tantrums in a child of 4 years old?

The fact is that children at this age are characterized by tantrums not on the basis of “I want”, but from resentment. And a cry with tears is a banal appeal to mommy for help, since negative emotions overwhelm the baby to such an extent that he is unable to cope with them on his own. In this case, veryit is important to help the child understand the situation.

To do this, you need to find out from him information about what happened, what he was afraid of, and give advice on how to behave. It would be useful to explain that this is solvable and give some recommendations. Some parents adhere to the rule: the children will figure it out themselves. But, if the baby came to his mother for help, then he needs it. Sending him back and telling him to solve the problem on his own is like betraying him. And this is very bad for the future development of the child's personality.

How to fight?

What is a tantrum in a child at 4 years old? What to do in this situation? Before moving on to the issue of combating this phenomenon, it is necessary to understand the essence of such concepts as “hysteria” and “whims”. It is common to resort to the latter children intentionally, in order to obtain what is desired or impossible, as well as what is forbidden for them at a given moment in time. Whims, as well as tantrums, are accompanied by crying, screaming, stamping feet and scattering toys or other improvised objects. Often they are not feasible. Usually manifested in the reluctance to go to the kindergarten or for a walk, as well as when the baby requires sweets and other sweets.

Tantrums refer to an involuntary form of manifestation of emotions. Often this condition in a child can be accompanied by loud crying, scratching his face and beating his fists against a wall or table. Often there are situations when the baby has uncontrollable convulsions, in which the baby tends to archbridge.

Parents should be aware that children's tantrums are a strong emotional shock, which is further reinforced by feelings of irritation, despair and aggression. During this state, it is very difficult for children to control themselves, which is why some may start banging their heads against the wall or floor without feeling pain. Tantrums tend to intensify with the attention of others. They will quickly stop after the disappearance of other people's interest in this process.

A 4-year-old child throws tantrums

As mentioned above, this reaction is often due to the erroneous behavior of adults in such situations. Most often, such children do not know the word “no”, as often everything is allowed to them and allowed by relatives.

Kids at this age are very smart and observant. They know perfectly well that if mom forbade, then you can approach your grandmother or dad with the same request, they may not refuse. To avoid such situations, you should determine with all family members a list of allowed and prohibited things. Try to educate the crumbs to adhere to a single opinion and be consistent. That is, if mom forbade, then the rest should also adhere to this position.

Case for concern

The constant tantrums of a child at 4 years old can signal possible problems with his nervous system. You need to see a neurologist if:

1. Tantrums are repeated very often, turning into an aggressive form of behavior.
2. At the baby they continueoccur over a long period of time.
3. A child during seizures causes damage to himself and others.
4. Periodically, during whims, the baby loses consciousness and holds his breath.
5. Hysterical attacks are especially acute during a night's sleep. May be accompanied by severe mood swings, fears and nightmares.
6. The state of hysteria ends with vomiting and shortness of breath. After that, the baby may be tired.

If the child's he alth is in perfect order, then the reason is hidden in family relationships, as well as in the reactions of relatives and people close to the baby's behavior. In the fight against such conditions, it is very important to remain calm and composure. Be patient with your child. Try to find compromises. Many whims and tantrums of babies can be prevented if the cause of their occurrence is found out in a timely manner.

Remember that you are in charge

A 4-year-old child doesn't obey? The baby's tantrums should not act on you as if you are under his influence. Remember that it is you who is raising your child, not him.

If you need to go about your business, and the child raises a cry and does not let you go - go and work. The baby, of course, will cry and scream. Alas, this cannot be avoided. But over time, he will understand what is required of him. According to child psychology, the best parent is the one who uses his strength to take care of his own baby, and knows how to do it right.

Think about the future of yourbaby

When a 4-year-old throws tantrums, it's not always easy for parents to stay calm. Most adults tend to feel like a bad mother or father at such moments. Despite all the rules and peculiarities of raising children, you must rely on your intuition. And if at the moment you think that the rule "the parent should be in charge" is inappropriate, then do not follow it. But remember that such weaknesses should not be abused.

Sometimes you can talk to your child for 15 minutes when he won't let you go. But only if such tantrums are not regular after the next conversation. Try not to tense up inside yourself.

Reacting to the tantrums of children 3-4 years old is like putting out a fire that has already flared up. The art of parents is not to deal with the whims of the child, but to prevent the occurrence of such situations in the future.

Advice from psychologists

Tantrums in children 4-5 years old require the right behavior on the part of parents in response to such whims.

There are several actions that are contraindicated for parents in such situations:

1. When hysterical, in no case should you fulfill the desire of the baby. Of course, this action will calm the baby, but soon everything will happen again, but already along the beaten path.
2. Don't argue with your child, let alone tease him.
3. Do not go toraised tone, as this will not calm the baby, but will only increase hysteria and anger.
4. Don't punish or encourage your child. Try to keep whims unnoticed.
5. Do not take the words of the baby in this state too seriously, as he can say anything during a tantrum, without thinking about the meaning and consequences of what was said.
6. If the attack happened in front of other people, you should not shame him in front of them. The little manipulator realizes that you are yielding to him in front of the environment, and soon tantrums may begin to repeat themselves in public places.
7. You should not involve others in the process of whims, then the baby will understand that his tears do not affect anyone, and the performance will end quickly.

How to stop quickly

Temperature in a child at 4 years old: what to do? In different situations, you can react completely differently. But it is better to adhere to the following recommendations:

1. If the tantrum occurred in a public place, then you need to show your indifference to this behavior of the baby.
2. In moments of anger and tantrums, children do not tend to be aware of what is happening to them. Mom should try to explain to the child as clearly as possible this condition and the reasons for its occurrence.
3. Don't categorically deny a child something when there is an opportunity to explain in detail the reasons for this. Children over three years old tend to understand adults. Therefore, it is much easier to calm the baby.
4. You can predict the situation in advance. For example, yougoing to the store, try to explain to the baby that today it will not be possible to buy a toy, since there is no such opportunity yet.

It is quite possible to cope with the vagaries of a child at the age of 4 without serious consequences for his psyche. But before taking categorical measures, one should understand the reasons for the occurrence of such a state, and only then proceed to the search for methods of struggle. Communication with the baby should be at a trusting level, and not by demonstrating the indisputable authority of the parent. But we must remember the rule in which the adult is more important. Of course, this is a rather thin line between leadership and trust, but, nevertheless, it should be observed.

Prolonged crisis

We have reviewed all the necessary information regarding the tantrum in a child of 4 years and the advice of a psychologist. But it is worth stopping at one more point. There is the notion of a protracted hysteria that requires more detailed consideration, as such a state can lead to serious problems.

What do psychologists advise in this case:

1. Try to prevent whims and tantrums. If the child’s day was very eventful and filled with emotions, then bathe the crumbs as early as possible and put them to bed. Chamomile herbal tea can be offered.
2. Try to distract the baby during this state. Offer to see the book, pictures, etc. Say something that can affect him, as well as distract him.
3. Oftenthe spectators contribute to the tantrums. In such situations, it is necessary to stay alone with the child in silence for about three minutes. Then you can talk quietly and confidently with him, turning your attention to extraneous things or objects.
4. Feeling of loneliness. Children older than two years old are not afraid in a familiar environment alone. Therefore, during the next whims or tantrums, leave the child to sit for 4-5 minutes in a separate room and think about his behavior.
5. Control yourself. Remember that the child is going through the stage of growing up and it is very difficult for him now. For the first time, he is faced with a huge flow of emotions and tries to fight them. And very often such a fight leads to tantrums.
6. Don't fuel such states with analysis. Avoid statements such as “it’s your own fault”, “I told you that you shouldn’t do this”, “it’s because you didn’t listen to me.”
7. Be consistent in your words and actions. As mentioned earlier, the main culprits in children's tantrums are their parents. At first they allow them everything, and then prohibitions suddenly appear. Or, for example, mom forbids, but grandmother or dad allows. The kid in such situations very quickly learns to manipulate, and the easiest method in this case is to throw a tantrum. Therefore, it is so important to discuss in advance with all family members what the baby can do and what not.

Speak to your child regardless of their age. You can discuss everything after the baby calms down. The baby must understand the true reasons why he cannot getdesired here and now.