Tantrums in a child (2 years old). Children's tantrums: what to do?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Every parent is familiar with child tantrums: some observe it less often, others much more often. Such behavior of a child is a real test for mothers, fathers, grandparents. Especially if the scandal takes place in a public place, and people have to watch this unpleasant picture. But in fact, quite often there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is a turning point.

The age from one to three years is different in that huge changes take place in the life of a baby: he receives new knowledge, learns to speak, understands everything and knows how to do a lot. But, despite this, some things remain inaccessible to the child, and he cannot get them on his own. Therefore, each refusal is perceived very sharply and painfully, and the baby shows emotions through tantrums.

During this period, the child can be overly stubborn and do everything the other way around, and his character becomes simply unrecognizable: from an obedient and kind baby, he turns into a crying whim.

Tantrums are a stage in a child's development

This is the conclusion reached by child psychologists. Children learn self-control, but at 2 years old it is difficult for a child to restrain his anger and aggression, and they still cannot express feelings in words. After three years, when the baby learns to express his emotions verbally, tantrums should decline.

Sometimes parents complain that the child is naughty and makes scandals only in the presence of parents. This may be due to the fact that the baby is testing the boundaries of what is permitted, but at the same time is not ready to show his feelings to those people whom he does not trust.

The reasons for tantrums can be elementary little things that are almost impossible to predict. But psychologists identify a number of factors that provoke children's tantrums.

Anxiety or illness

A small child cannot always show what exactly hurts him. And even more so, he does not know how to explain to an adult that he feels bad. Parents should be vigilant and watch the baby. A sign of malaise may be reduced appetite, excessive excitability, or crying for no apparent reason.

Naturally, a sick child becomes the center of the family, so even after recovery, he may require the same attention. If parents are sure that the baby feels good and is absolutely he althy, then such manipulations must be “put out” and not give in.

Struggle for attention

Often, due to lack of parental attention, tantrums occur in a child. 2 years - difficultperiod. To solve the problem, first of all, it is necessary to determine how reasonable these requirements are. Perhaps these are not just whims, and the baby really considers himself deprived and lonely.

The main task of parents is to find the line when satisfaction of needs ends and selfishness begins. If by crying the baby is trying to attract attention, but adults are constantly next to him, you should not follow the lead of the little commander at the first cry.

Get what you want

Often due to the fact that it is impossible to get what you want, there are tantrums in a child. 2 years is the period when the baby wants to get what he wants by any means. It can be a toy you like or a reluctance to leave the playground, or something else that you should definitely get “here and now.”

Parental prohibitions are not always clear to the child, and at times it is very difficult to convey the essence to the baby due to his age. Now there are many temptations for him, with which it is incredibly difficult for him to fight. Therefore, parents should not specifically tempt the baby. It's better to get him out of sight of all the items he might like and not take him to the shops with children's assortment and sweets.

Don't think that the child is still too small and doesn't understand anything. Children's tantrums are a way to test the limits of what is permitted and test parents for stress resistance. Therefore, it is necessary to be consistent and unshakable so that the baby understands that the ban will not be lifted. Controversialactions confuse the child and encourage him to come up with new challenges for adults.

You need to talk with the baby on an equal footing and explain to him why his desire cannot be fulfilled now. Over time, the child will learn that the parental "no" is not subject to dispute, and whims in this case are useless.

Authoritarian parenting style and childish self-affirmation

Most of the time, kids throw tantrums when they try to protest their parents. Perhaps the authoritarian upbringing does not allow the baby to express himself, so he rebels. Do not forget that children are people too, and they need a certain amount of freedom.

The enthusiastic attitude of parents to the child leads to the fact that the baby becomes indulgent towards himself, but absolutely intolerant of others. The lack of constant attention causes a storm of negative emotions in the child, which find an outlet in hysteria.

For children to develop harmoniously, adults must strike the right balance of guardianship and freedom. When a child is sure that his opinion is valued and respected, it will be easier for him to accept prohibitions.

Whims for no reason

Sometimes a child's tantrums happen for no reason. 2 years is the age when the baby cannot explain why he was upset. To understand the situation, parents should analyze recent events. Perhaps the family is tense or the baby simply did not get enough sleep. All people have a different character and individual characteristics, so all children react in their own way to what is happening.

How to avoid tantrums?

Parents with a 2-year-old child know that tantrums can't be completely avoided, but steps can be taken to lessen the consequences.

Main recommendations:

• Baby should get good sleep.
• It is necessary to observe the daily routine.
• You should not plan the day so that the child receives a large number of new experiences. If this is unavoidable, then care should be taken to ensure that there is something to entertain the baby.
• You need to teach children to express their feelings. It is necessary to gently prompt them how to do it correctly, and help them choose words.
• If possible, the child should be given the right to choose at least in those matters that are not fundamental.
• All changes in the daily routine must be warned in advance, for example, five minutes before lunch, the baby needs to be informed that he will eat soon.

If the tantrum has already begun…

Many parents are wondering: the child has a tantrum - what to do? First of all, you need to remember that you can not threaten the baby with punishment if he is hysterical. In this case, the child will accumulate aggression and resentment, which destroy his psychological he alth and provoke new scandals. Adults should behave calmly and confidently, expressing understanding. Over time, children learn to control their emotions and watch their behavior.

But you shouldn't try to coax and encourage the child in every possible way just to calm him down. This will give him confidence thatyou can behave in order to get what you want. There is no need to explain something to the baby at the moment of screaming and crying, it is unlikely that he will learn the words addressed to him. Better wait until he calms down.

If tantrums are often observed in a child, Komarovsky advises parents to learn to say “no”. The decision made cannot be changed or softened so that the baby does not begin to manipulate adults. Indulging children's whims will lead to the loss of the boundaries of what is permitted, so the baby will look for them with new persistence.

Until the child calms down, it is necessary to speak quietly, but firmly. You should argue your position and give arguments that will be clear to the baby at his age.

Seeking compromises

In the event that a child wakes up with a tantrum, you should make sure that his sleep was full and long enough. Perhaps you should put him to bed a little earlier. But such behavior can be observed due to the excitable nervous system and the individual characteristics of the baby. Parents can try to make the morning more pleasant and calm, leaving the child to decide what to eat for breakfast: unloved porridge or delicious cottage cheese. Sometimes compromise works wonders, besides, the child learns to negotiate and give in.