Relationship culture: what does it mean to be engaged?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Matchmaking, engagement and wedding are wonderful, beautiful rituals that have come to us from time immemorial. Each nation has its own character. However, there is something in common.

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So what does it mean to be engaged? When a couple of lovers decide that they are perfect for each other, and therefore it is possible to formalize the relationship, they inform their relatives, friends, and relatives. Or - this was the case, for example, in the 19th century - a young man asks his parents for the hand of their daughter and receives consent. This is announced to the girl, and if she does not mind, the couple becomes the bride and groom. This is what “engaged” means in the culture and traditions of the Russian people. The engagement could take place in a narrow family circle, or it could turn into a big, fun holiday. A man, from that moment officially considered as a future husband, received access to free communication with his chosen one. He could freely go for walks with her, accompany her to the theater.

In the "conspiracy" the guy presented his beloved with a ring with some kind of talisman stone. The girl gave back in response, and this mutual exchange, as it were, signaled to others about their feelings. After such a ceremony, young people treated each other more responsibly and behaved more restrainedly with their familiar surroundings. After all, what does it mean to be engaged? This means that it is no longer appropriate for a lady to flirt and flirt with other gentlemen, to sit all day long with her friends. And the groom, instead of showing special signs of attention to outside beauties, should spend more time with the bride.

Of course, times have changed a lot now, morals have become freer, and people are more civilized. And far from always, future spouses have the opportunity to be nearby before the wedding, and not every couple, oddly enough, requires mutual fidelity. And yet, since a man and a woman are engaged (which means - engaged), therefore, they count on each other, see each other as a comrade, like-minded person, sexual partner, loved one, potential parent of their children. By the way, in the West, engaged couples were practically considered husband and wife!

Agreements and contracts

At the engagement, the nuances of when and where to hold the wedding, how many guests to invite, what gifts to exchange, where to live for the young, and many others were usually discussed. A century and a half ago, during a conspiracy, it was discussed who to choose as imprisoned parents, the amount of the ransom for the bride and the dowry that the groom would receive for her.

What does it mean to be engaged, the girl could feel very soon, because. her one morethey didn’t let them go to “games” or girlish parties, gatherings, but they forced them to sit for days at a needle and embroidery frame. The bride had to have a fair supply of clothes, towels, tablecloths, bed linen and other belongings, and she had to make all this for the most part with her own hands. However, the current newlyweds do not have an easier task. Even with financial assistance from relatives for their wedding, outfits, etc. they need to earn their own money. Of course, if they are not the children of millionaires. And at the modern engagement, the details of marriage contracts are also discussed, if any are going to be concluded. But most often on this day, people simply rejoice at the birth of a new family.

Test of time

And yet, how to understand whether a girl is engaged or not? Very simple: yes, if she was proposed. No, if she has not yet heard the cherished words, although she lives with her boyfriend for six months, and a year, and two. True, collusion also does not always necessarily mean formalizing the relationship. Usually, there is some time between the engagement and the wedding, so that young people can establish their feelings or reconsider them. Not without reason, after filing an application with the registry office, the wedding follows only a month later. In general, young people can check each other for much longer, even for years. True, in such situations, love threatens to be reborn into friendship, camaraderie, or melt away altogether.

The engagement custom and everything connected with it is so interesting!