Many parents want to have large families with at least two children. This is very common in places where the parents were only children. It is not surprising that now, starting a family themselves, they want to have many babies. In this article, we will tell you when is the best time to have a second child.
Family planning is always a crucial moment. However, it often happens that the decision to have not only a second, but also a first child is delayed indefinitely.
Many couples become parents for the first time unplanned. That is why the question of when it is better to give birth to a second child is now being raised after all housing and financial issues have been resolved. However, it is possible to expect an improvement in living conditions in order to have another little one after that, for a very long time. Meanwhile, the best age for having children is passing. Waiting for the implementation of all your plans and conceived ideas, you increase the risk of having children withpathologies that are directly related to the age of future parents.
Doctors, the question of the age before which it is better to give birth to a second child, they answer unanimously. The most optimal for conception and the first, and even more so subsequent tomboys, is the age of up to 30 years.
This age interval is usually analyzed from two points of view. From a biological point of view, it is clear that during this time period, the woman's body is able to successfully conceive, endure and give birth to he althy children. After all, it's not a secret for anyone that over time the body fades, diseases acquired in the process of life take over. The reproductive system is most affected by time.
As for the worldly point of view, here it turns out that young mothers have more vitality and energy for raising children. At this age, most likely, you can create a strong large family, where there will be no lack of love, tenderness and care, which is so necessary for children. And all financial and other material issues should be resolved gradually, without postponing the birth of children because of them.
What do we really have?
In modern society, we see a completely opposite picture. People strive first to achieve heights in life, and then, perhaps, start a family and children. Meanwhile, the biological clock is ticking, and at the moment when you decide to have a child, this may not work out. Therefore, you may not even have time to wonder what time is better to give birth to a second child.
OnIn practice, we already see, one might say, elderly women who give birth to children "for themselves." Of course, modern medicine is able to help such women, but there are still those malformations of children in which medicine is powerless. But the great age of the mother is one of the first reasons for the birth of children with disabilities. Thus, we ourselves are deliberately destroying our gene pool, passing on to subsequent generations incurable chromosomal and genetic diseases.
Women are diligently trying to suppress their maternal instinct due to various circumstances. Someone does not want to spoil the figure and young body, delaying the birth of a child for a long time. Others are hesitant to have children because there is no stability in their lives, they worry that they will not be able to give anything to their children. Many simply do not have their own corner, in which case they also postpone the birth of the first and subsequent children. However, do not forget that the house is not only a material structure, it is also close and dear people who will always help. And all other questions - this will come with time.
Age difference between children
So, if all the above points of doubt have not touched you, you have already become parents once, then it would be quite appropriate to analyze the following question, what difference is it better to give birth to a second child.
There are also different points of view on this issue. Many people think that the best age difference between the first and second child is 1-3 years. In this case, the children will get along better with each other, because their level of development will be approximatelythe same. The other side of this issue is that caring for and caring for children with such a difference in years is quite difficult, since each of them at this age still requires a lot of attention.
Another part of the parents is of the opinion that the age difference should be greater. They believe that this will help to avoid many difficulties. Firstly, it will be easier to keep an eye on the child when you are in an interesting position, because then you will not need to constantly pick up the little one. Secondly, the first child can already become your assistant, then it will be even easier for you to take care of the second child.
However, psychologists do not recommend hanging up on older children to care for younger ones. Whatever age your first-borns are, they are children first of all, and it was not they who gave birth to the second child, but you. It is because of this that in many families there are conflicts and hostility among brothers and sisters. Because children stop receiving love and affection to the extent that they need it and feel they are not needed by anyone.
This aspect should also be taken into account when deciding when it is better to give birth to a second child. After all, depending on what difference between the children will be, their relationship will develop like that. So let's look at the different time spans between two children.
- 1-2 years. Children born with such a difference are often called weathermen. They look like twins, and passers-by do not really notice that there is a difference between children in general.These kids always get along best because their interests are closest. Usually such children even attend one group in kindergarten and one class at school, this helps them to better adapt to their peers, because they always have a loved one at their side.
- 3-4 years. Doctors consider this difference the most optimal for the female body. However, from an everyday point of view, such children already have competition for the attention of their parents. Their interests, games, modes, food, etc. also differ. At the same time, the older child can already help his mother, and the younger one will copy him. This makes the life of a modern mother very easy.
- 5-7 years old. At this age, older people often go to school, and it is much easier for a mother to endure and give birth to a second child. While on maternity leave, you can help the elder with his studies, and he, in turn, will already be an indispensable assistant in caring for the younger. In addition, young children usually adore their older siblings and absorb their behavior like a sponge.
- 8 years or more. The greater the difference between the children, the less common interests remain. It becomes quite easy for parents to arrange a life with such a difference, since they have experience in raising kids, and older children are completely independent. However, in such a situation, 2 scenarios are possible: either patronizing relations between children, or, conversely, hostility from the elders.
Pros of having a second child
When is it better to give birth to a second child after the first, and is it even worth it? The first child is everything newunknown. In addition, it is very convenient, because all your parental love can be given to one child. Many parents, in whose families there is one child, try to give him expensive things and numerous toys. As the baby grows older, parents have more free time that they can spend on themselves. But then why do many parents think again about a newborn baby years later?
Another child in the family means additional troubles and costs, both financial and psychological. Take cooking. Now you need to cook separately for the baby, for the older child and for the parents themselves. Realizing all this, parents still decide on a second child. Why?
This question undoubtedly has a number of positive aspects:
- This is a new friend for the older child. He will never be bored and lonely now.
- An older child will not grow up to be selfish. Unless, of course, the child is raised correctly.
- In the future, parents will have another support.
- A chance to once again experience the joy of motherhood and fatherhood.
- The opportunity to show the older child that his life path, which he does not remember. Show how his parents took care of him when he was so young.
- Creating the right family model, which will be useful in the future for the older child.
- The opportunity to correct mistakes in education.
- Motive to improve the financial well-being of the family.
- A chance to experience joy every day with a big family.
He alth for second baby
The time after which it is better to give birth to a second child directly depends on the moment the first pregnancy ends. If a woman gave birth on her own, then the recommended period from childbirth to the conception of a second child is 2-3 years.
Pregnancy is a difficult and exhausting period in a woman's life. During the bearing of a child, a woman gives most of her nutrients, vitamins and trace elements to the child. In addition, the woman's muscles, joints and spine underwent significant stress.
If shortly after the end of the first pregnancy comes the second, then the child in this case may not receive all the substances he needs. This threatens the life and he alth of the baby. After all, the mother's body has not yet recovered, the supply of essential vitamins and microelements necessary for the successful course of pregnancy has not been replenished.
After the first birth, a woman should be examined, take measures to improve her he alth. There must be a recovery period for the body so that you can conceive, bear and give birth to a second he althy child.
Another option for completing the first pregnancy is also possible - a caesarean section. In this situation, the time of re-pregnancy will depend on the condition of the scar on the uterus. Usually the second child is also born with the help of an operation.
Pregnancy while breastfeeding
There is a myth that while breastfeeding the first child, it is impossible to get pregnant with the second child. But this is just a myth, and the presence of children in most familiesthe weather confirms it.
Many women do not even have time to think about when it is better to give birth to a second child. Therefore, after the completion of the first pregnancy, it is imperative to consult with your doctor about contraceptives available to you during lactation.
Remember! It's just as easy to get pregnant while breastfeeding as it is when you're not. In addition, the onset of pregnancy interrupts the flow of milk, and your first child, who now needs it, will be deprived.
Besides the question of how old it is better to give birth to a second child, there is also the question of psychological readiness for this. As with the birth of the first child, the psychological readiness of parents for the birth of a second child plays an extremely important role.
Many mothers and fathers after the birth of their first child want only one thing - to relax. Therefore, it is not necessary in such a situation to have a second baby. You are living people, if you need rest, then provide it for yourself. No need to follow the lead of relatives or friends with many children. If you're not ready, don't rush to have another baby.
Rushing this issue can backfire. This is fraught with the birth of a second child with he alth problems, discord in family life with a spouse and a depressive state of the woman herself. You should not put all your family members to such tests.
How to prepare a senior?
At what age it is better to give birth to a second child also depends on the psychologic althe readiness of the older child to accept the fact that he will no longer be the only one in the family.
In order to prepare the firstborn for the arrival of a brother or sister, it is important to let him know that he is also loved and appreciated. You can’t stun a child with this news right away, you need to prepare gradually.
Pregnancy at 40
To the question of how long it is better to give birth to a second child, doctors answer - up to 35 years. But what to do if you decided to have a child only at 40?
By this age, infertility may develop due to stress and illness experienced throughout life. However, if pregnancy occurs, the risk of complications during childbirth and the presence of genetic diseases in the child increases.
It is also worth bearing in mind that when the child is 15-18 years old, you will be 56-59 years old. Will you be able to give him enough money and time at this age?
Mom at 50: is it possible?
Women after 50 no longer think about when it is better to give birth to a second child. Since at this age menopause already sets in, and women stop using contraception, believing that they can no longer get pregnant at that age. However, this also happens.
The second child at this age does not feel superfluous, even if the parents suddenly die, because older children come to the rescue, and even, perhaps, grandchildren.
Extremely late delivery
Women at the age of 60 may experience "empty nest syndrome", and then they decide on a secondchild, so as not to feel lonely. But here the risk of not only the development of pathologies in the child increases, but also the likelihood of leaving the baby alone if the woman does not have support in the form of a strong family. At this age, you should turn your attention to other forms of motherhood: adoption or guardianship.
When is it better to give birth to a second child - this is a purely individual question. But don't expose your body to that kind of stress at 60. Find something to your liking, devote more time to your grandchildren. This will be more useful.