The debate about whether it is possible to love a married woman has been going on since human civilization has developed to the level of permanent marriages. And this means that men have been thinking about this problem for many centuries and thousands of years. A lady who has chosen another person for herself, inaccessible and so beautiful … Is she worth the emotions? Is it worth the effort to get her attention?
Relevance of the issue
Since many at least once in their lives thought about how to love a married woman, accordingly, a lot has been said and written frankly about this. If you look at modern forums, magazine and newspaper stories, it becomes clear that the problem is relevant to a high degree. How many such life stories are there when a man finds out that the lady he met, who struck the heart at first sight, turns out to be married!
True feelings do not depend on nationality. They will not be hindered by social regalia and positions. So littlemeans marital status for emotions. However, it is worth recognizing that falling in love with a married woman rarely brought real joy to anyone. Any person, having felt love, wants to know reciprocal feelings, to receive well-deserved happiness. If we are talking about a married lady, awareness of the immorality of such a relationship can destroy even the illusory hope for a good outcome. The most difficult situation is in which there is another participant in the problem - the common child of the spouses.
Love and pain
The question of whether it is possible to love a married woman and how to be in such a situation, in the general case, comes down to solving the dilemma about the possibility of happiness for a person. Should we suffer? Perhaps, in our society one cannot find a person to whom everything would be easy, especially in the aspect of romance, but for a man who has chosen the thorny path of love for someone else's chosen one, the situation looks especially gloomy. Do not expect that everything you want will fall into your hands. There are simply no easy ways. If the lady of the heart reciprocated, if the goals converge, the couple can jointly take measures to get out of the problematic situation.
What is the difficulty?
Any man is naturally very jealous, and this makes loving a married woman even more difficult. If someone from outside only gave the lady a smile, it is likely that an unpleasant conversation on this topic awaits her at home. What can we say about more! On the one hand, a husband is always an obstacle, but fighting him directly, “on the forehead” will be a waste of time and effort. By choosing such a strategy, one can not only exclude success, but also stronglyharm the future of the chosen one of the heart.
If love finds a response in the object of love, if a girl shows her disposition, it is impossible to say with certainty that this is a real feeling that will endure all the vicissitudes of fate. There are many cases where the reciprocal sympathy of a lady was explained only by a fleeting hobby. As soon as the couple got close, the magic was gone, the emotions disappeared at the same time as the sharpness. Many are attracted to the forbidden fruit. Even more often the situation is different: a lady attracts a man only as long as she is someone's wife. If she leaves her husband for a new love, soon the newly lover realizes that she is not interested in him. Is it worth taking the risk of destroying someone else's family if that's how things could turn out?
All for the sake of your goal
If a man loves a married woman, he must carefully and responsibly evaluate his feelings in order not to make mistakes. If a long, leisurely analysis shows that the familiar busy lady is the only chance for a happy future, you need to develop a strategy. The easiest way is to whom the woman reciprocated. If the lady is convinced that the person she met after marriage is the same person without whom life is not sweet to her, you can invite her to leave her previous relationship and create a new family. By joining forces, the two will deal with the delicate situation faster and more beautifully.
But if a man likes a lady, but he is not going to plan his future and family with her, then you should not start. Not havingserious goals, it is impossible to destroy someone else's marriage. No matter how much a man loves a lady who has already chosen another partner for life, if he is not going to be with her until the last day, we can say with confidence: with the first chosen one, the woman will be happier.
Causes and consequences
If a man loves a married woman and is ready to go to any lengths for this, you need to understand that the relationship will be full of risk. If two people build their happiness on the misfortune of an abandoned husband, they rarely achieve absolute peace, mutual understanding and trust. A lot of it comes down to prejudice. Conscience worries. If a woman has a child from her first marriage, then this creates additional difficulties in the relationship.
As practice shows, not every man is able to accept a child if his father is another person. Only a truly tolerant, loyal person can become a worthy father. The child is not guilty of anything, he is pure, nevertheless, many men see him as his father. In order to show yourself from the best side in such a situation, you need to be able to sincerely love all children - only in this way a child born from another man will become a family. If the lover is not sure that he is capable of such sincere and strong feelings, it is better not to take risks and not even start a relationship with a woman. She will be calmer in her current marriage.
Sometimes even dangerous
A man, thinking about whether it is possible to love a married woman or not, should be aware of the risks associated with such a relationship. Can't find a husband toarranged for his wife to leave for another. Not to find someone who would turn a blind eye to her interest in a third-party person. When seeking someone else's wife, one must be aware of the danger of using brute force on oneself. Trying to persuade a woman into an extramarital relationship or even a divorce, it should be understood that by doing so the initiator not only changes her and her life, but also the fate of her husband. The lives of several people are being destroyed. Anyone who loses a family, a spouse, perhaps a child, plunges into an abyss of anger. The emotions experienced by this person are not only destructive in their power, but also completely justified and just, which gives them a special power.
Only a worthy man can pass this test with honor. It is necessary not only to realize your love for a married lady and provide her with everything possible for happiness if she makes a choice in favor of a new lover. You need to behave like a gentleman, so as not to harm her ex-husband if possible. Well, if a person fears for his he alth and his biggest fear is to be beaten, it's better not to even start. The risks of such an outcome are too great.
Troubles and ways to avoid them
Why do men relatively often pay attention to other people's wives? Psychologists have been thinking about this situation for a long time. It attracts no less attention from philosophers. It is known that many were fond of a pretty and pleasant lady, knowing that she had already tied the knot. Others, analyzing their attitude, then concluded: the main reason was precisely the fact of marriage. You don’t have to worry that such a lady will ask you to marry her. Fearing to be bound by marriagerelationships, men immediately choose those who have already entered into them, so it will not threaten their personal freedom. It also happens that a man almost immediately finds out that the lady is married, at that moment he doesn’t even love her, but continues to get closer, almost deliberately escalating the situation.
It happens otherwise. The man can't figure out what to do. "I love a married woman!" - this thought beats in my head, does not give rest, does not allow me to breathe calmly, deprives me of sleep. Some in such a situation do not even make an attempt to attract the attention of a lady, or all such insinuations end in failure. It remains only to fight with their feelings. What to do?
It happens that a man realizes to himself: "I love a married woman with a child." If you want to get away from this feeling, you should try your hand at creativity. You can write poems about your feelings, compose songs. Any creative activity allows you to somewhat abstract from emotional tension and love intensity.
To make it easier to forget about a married lady, you should take a closer look at others. Surely there is a familiar and completely free girl who will be glad to have a relationship. Having chosen her, at first a man may not be too sincere, but over time, new emotions and impressions will block the old ones, and an unsuccessful love for someone else's wife will become obsolete.
Feelings and Justice
It is also possible that a married man loves a married woman and cannotput it out of my head for a long time. The most difficult thing is for someone who often meets the object of his love. Such a man will experience endless suffering both from the fact that with his beloved another, and from the fact that he himself is not with the one with whom he would like. Well, the lady with whom the lover spends his time in such a situation will probably sooner or later understand what is the matter and feel deceived, used.
Options and situations
Some psychologists, more than once analyzing why they love married women, came to the conclusion: most often these are men who are interested in strong, vivid impressions. In fact, they are not in love with someone else's chosen one, but with the possibility of a relationship with a person belonging to another. Such people are strongly advised to carefully analyze their aspirations and motives. There are a huge number of sources of extreme sensations and impressions around. It is not necessary to destroy other people's lives to get them. A much more preferred option is extreme sports. It is good for the body, develops the strength of the spirit, which can not be said about the relationship with the wife of another person.
It also happens that a man first thinks about his difficult situation: "Oh, I'm married, I love a married woman, what should I do?" - and after some time he finds out that his chosen one has not yet become someone else's wife. Perhaps she is only dating someone who was mistaken for her life partner. If relations in your own marriage have completely gone wrong and there are no ways to restore peace, you should try to take a closer look at the new lady. Is her boyfriend so good?Is there any chance of getting her attention? Perhaps that lady just didn't realize how much she was loved? To get attention, you need to give gifts and shower the chosen one with compliments. You need to show interest in it. So you can start a new serious relationship. Since for their sake the girl will break up with a guy, and not with her husband, no one will be bothered by pangs of conscience.
Friend and foe
Psychologists have repeatedly tried to determine why men love married women, and there are several theories. One of them speaks of rivalry and the desire to be the best against the background of others. If others have something, a real conqueror, a true warrior wants to get it all for himself, without thinking too much about how much he needs this object. Seeing someone else's wife, a man realizes that the woman does not belong to him. If she is beautiful enough, it is likely that he immediately lights up with the idea to appropriate her as a "property", an indicator of social status. Very often this happens when a friend finds a life partner. Looking at her, the representative of the stronger sex feels that there simply cannot be anyone better and more beautiful on the planet. You need to understand: almost always such situations lead to the fact that you need to choose either a friend or a lady. If we analyze the situation and understand that interest in a lady is provoked precisely by the primitive instincts of a conqueror, we can come to the conclusion that a woman who has left a friend will not remain attractive for a long time, but it will not be possible to restore the previous relationship with a friend.succeed.
In such circumstances, one must proceed with extreme caution. Loves come and go, in the life of almost every person they were more than once. As many rightly say, it is much rarer to meet a true and faithful friend.