What are the chances of love with an age difference: the psychology of relationships

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

True feelings know no barriers. A significant age difference between partners is not considered a hindrance. But if you look at such relationships from the outside, it turns out that they are not as simple as they seem at first glance. Let's find out if true love is possible with an age difference, and also what are the prospects for an "unequal" marriage.

Age matters

The age difference between a man and a woman who decide to tie the knot in their lives often does not exceed 5 years. Psychologists explain why this happens. People try to find a “match” for themselves both in terms of social parameters and in terms of the level of intellectual development. But love with an age difference of more than 10 years is increasingly common in the modern world. People who are overwhelmed by a sense of euphoria do not want to pay attention to their age. Reproaches and questions from the indignant public do not interest them. At the initial stage of the relationship, such couples believe that love has no barriers. But statistics prove otherwise:relationships with large age gaps are more likely to end in divorce.

Optimal difference

Psychologists believe that relationships between partners will develop harmoniously if they are older than each other by no more than 6 years. It is desirable that this be a “classic” difference: the spouse is younger than the chosen one. According to experts, this contributes to the harmonious psycho-emotional development of partners. Sociologists note that such couples have the most children.

Marriages between the years were a classic option during the Soviet Union. Any deviation from the "norm" was considered wrong and condemned by the public. In fact, unions where a man and a woman are of the same age have many pitfalls. In addition to common interests, similar lifestyles and values, people often have problems of a domestic nature. Weather partners quickly get bored with each other, they often have financial difficulties. The absence of a more experienced person threatens with constant scandals and betrayals, in such a relationship there is no one to “extinguish” the storms of emotions.

The Chinese sages have their own formula for an ideal relationship. To do this, they use simple mathematical calculations. The age of the man is taken and divided in half. The number 7 is added to the result obtained. If the partner is 34 years old, then the ideal chosen one for him will be a girl whose age will not exceed 24 years. Chinese sages believe that true love is possible with an age difference of 10 years, and even more. Western specialists in the field of psychologydo not agree with this. But the East is a delicate matter, it has its own rules and traditions.

10-15 years difference

Such marriages are registered often. Relationships with an age difference of 10 years or more are interesting for both partners. Yes, and society is tolerant of such unions. Relationships can be both strong and fleeting. Everything depends on the people. An older partner is more responsible for building relationships. He (she) does not make stupid mistakes, tolerates the shortcomings and whims of a loved one and behaves more calmly in conflict situations. It is more difficult for couples in which 2 partners are too emotional and have the opposite temperament. As a rule, such a union saves a common hobby or business.

Despite many positives, marriages where the age difference is 10-15 years, according to statistics, often break up.

20 years difference

When looking at such couples, the thought arises that the relationship here is completely mercantile: there are no real feelings, only cold calculation. In practice, such an alliance often turns out to be convenient for one of the partners. For example, a woman needs an experienced and we althy man in the form of a guardian, and he, in turn, wants to see a carefree life partner next to him who will feed him with her energy. Such marriages are not uncommon in the modern world. According to statistics, they become promising and successful. Most couples live together until old age, preserving the tenderness of feelings. Love with a difference of 20 years exists and can bevery strong.

When one partner is more than 20 years older than the other, difficulties in such relationships cannot be avoided. Often the subject of quarrels are sexual issues. As a rule, love with an age difference of more than 20 years is possible if there is a spiritual connection between the spouses. If the older partner does not have deep content that creates a favorable atmosphere in marriage, then the union may fall apart.

Scientists have conducted research and made interesting conclusions. It turned out that a significant age difference between spouses shortens their life expectancy.

When a man is older

This is a classic love relationship. But it is good if the difference between a man and a woman is 3-6 years. Such relationships are considered harmonious and promising from a scientific point of view. After all, boys lag behind girls in terms of intellectual development by 2-3 years. Therefore, a small difference in the age of the spouses is acceptable. Another thing is when a man starts talking about love with a difference of 16 years or more. Feelings for a girl on his part can be real, but more often they are supported by a material motive. A man wants to act as a "teacher" of a young inexperienced chosen one. And he also likes her unencumbered children. As a rule, young girls are not spoiled, less capricious. And this reduces the amount of "financial investment" of a man in their future life together.

When a woman is older

In timesIn the USSR, people considered abnormal a marriage in which a woman is much older than a man. And even now such unions are condemned by society. A young man who decides to connect his life with an older lady is often included in the category of "alfonso".

When a woman is 5-7 years older than her chosen one, this difference is almost imperceptible and is considered the norm. If the lady is much older than her partner, then such a union does not last long. As a rule, a young man, having gained experience, leaves his life partner for a young mistress. If he lingers for a long time in the arms of a mature lady, then he has a mercantile interest. Psychologists have come to these conclusions based on the results of numerous observations. But everywhere there are exceptions. Relationships in such a pair preserve the commonality of interests and the spiritual connection of partners.

Advice for spouses with big age gaps

Representatives of different generations face many problems. But the number of "unequal" marriages is increasing from year to year. Psychologists give some practical tips to help keep love with a big age difference:

1. It is necessary to immediately discuss the topic of childbearing: will both partners have enough vitality, energy to raise children, and do they need them at all?
2. Understand the motives for building "unequal" relationships.
3. Prepare for public criticism.
4. Be prepared for misunderstandings to arise in a relationship.
5. Don't focus on the age difference,especially in the company of other people.