2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
The eternal question is whether it is possible to beat a child for educational purposes. So far no answer has been found. Although some parents are surprised and think that such a question is very strange, because it is a well-known fact that physical punishment is not the best of discipline strategies.
Let's try to figure out what is more effective in raising a baby - the whip method or the sweet gingerbread method?
Is it okay to want to hit a child?
The important question of whether it is possible to beat a child for educational purposes usually arises with parents when their beloved baby reaches two or three years of age. It is in this age period that the formation of personality takes place, the baby absorbs a lot of different information, learns to arm himself with new skills and explore the limits of what is permitted.
It is clear that the process of growing up a child is accompanied by various troubles, because the baby learns to know the world through mistakes and trials. He tries to study and test everything, and such behavior is enoughcan often pose a risk to children's he alth.
In addition, it is at the age of three that kids enter a special crisis period, when obstinacy, stubbornness, self-will and even despotism begin to appear in their behavior. And some kids get out of control.
Almost imperceptibly exemplary behavior in those teenagers who are prone to egocentrism, maximalism, used to manipulate their parents.
Because of all these situations, the question begins to spin in the head of moms and dads about whether it is possible to beat children at least for their most severe misconduct. And it occurs even in the most loving, gentle and most liberal parents. This is considered quite normal. But there are situations when the desire to punish your child with physical methods is something anomalous.
Let's talk about physical punishment
Since many parents have a question about whether it is possible to hit a child on the pope, we need to figure out if this is the only punishment? It turns out that the use of physical punishment does not mean beating children at all. This concept can include any impact performed with the use of force - a slap, deprivation of food, force-feeding, pushing, rough pulling on clothes or hands.
It doesn't matter at all whether mom or dad picks up a rope or a belt, or other improvised means (slippers, towels, etc.) will be used. Any action that is aimed at causing pain, demonstrating one's power, orphysical superiority, forever leaves its mark on the soul of the baby and older child.
But is it possible to beat children in Russia, from the point of view of the law, is still an open question. Now the family in this country is considered a closed territory. Therefore, each parent decides for himself whether or not to beat a disobedient, but such an adored child. But does everyone understand the difference between raising a child and abusing him?
Beating for educational purposes?
It is mutual understanding that is the basis of the modern method of raising a child. In some civilized countries of Europe, for a long time it has been prohibited and even punishable by physical influence on children. True, it cannot be argued that, firstly, in this case, all the children grow up very obedient and self-confident. Secondly, that the vast majority of children from such upbringing do much less harm and become more successful in adulthood.
So is it possible to beat a child for educational purposes? The advice of psychologists is subjective, but quite reasonable. Parents can beat a child in order to achieve an educational goal, but do it in such a way that later, in the future, these forceful methods are not needed. It is absolutely not necessary for any, even the smallest fault, to grab slippers, a rope or a belt. No need to kill your beloved child. There are many other punishments that can affect a child, perhaps more than hitting - denying some pleasure, standing in the corner.
Beat orstill talking?
It is very important for every parent to become that elder for his baby, to whom he can come for advice on any occasion. But also the child must understand how he will be punished at home if he does something bad.
You can apply two methods at once - talk to the child as often as possible, become not only a parent for him, but also a friend, a comrade. If at some point the child “flies off the coils”, without thinking for a long time about the question of whether it is possible to hit the child on the pope, you should lightly slap him with a belt or palm.
Just keep in mind that such upbringing will only work until 4-8 years old, and it should start as early as possible. When a child is already fourteen, it is already very difficult to change him. In this case, only persuasion will come to the rescue.
Why shouldn't children be beaten?
So is it possible and necessary to beat children in order to educate? It is good that many adults who are forced or used to physically punish their own children can stop in time and do not hit them with full force.
But even a light blow, especially if it hits the head, can harm a child's fragile body. And the younger the child, the more serious consequences it can turn out for him. Many consequences are completely invisible to the layman.
If we do not talk now about the most severe cases of child abuse in the family, then a large number of parents are found who sometimes allow themselves to corporally punish a child. They are convinced that it is not worthto think about whether children can be beaten on the pope with their hands. This can be done, because such educational measures do not harm he alth, but a good educational effect will follow. But is it true?
The effect of punishment
Such mothers and fathers do not think at all that such punishments, when adults spank their children with palms, slippers, towels on buttocks and other parts of the body, can affect both the physical and psychological levels.
A child's basic trust in the world around him is formed precisely on the basis of relationships with mom and dad. If the baby is abused by a loved one, then this will cause distrust of other people. And this will negatively affect the socialization of a grown child.
A parent who hits sets an example of wrong, aggressive behavior. A child, faced with the rigidity of a father or mother, will believe that any conflict should be resolved only with the use of threats, force or other aggressive acts.
Borders and division of people into groups
The personal boundaries of a child of any age will be violated by unwanted bodily contact (poking, spanking with a belt, spanking, shaking). He will not develop the ability to defend the limits of his "I". This means that other people's words and opinions will become too weighty for a teenager, and maybe even in his adult state.
If parents beat their children with a certain regularity, they will eventually divide all people into "victims" and "aggressors". Also theychoose a role for themselves. Then it will be fraught with a not particularly happy life. Victim women will subconsciously choose too aggressive men for their husbands, and male aggressors will suppress their wives and children through threats and physical violence.
Constant poking and slapping will make the child feel humiliated, causing his self-esteem to drop. The next thing that can follow is a loss of initiative, perseverance, self-respect, perseverance.
Understanding your kids
Even the usual light slaps on the buttocks are the measure that should be used as a last resort. Let's talk about techniques that allow you to restrain yourself in a difficult stressful situation, teach you to control your anger and, perhaps, help answer the question of whether it is necessary to beat children when raising them.
First of all, every effort should be made to understand why the baby misbehaves. It is possible that this is due to the age crisis or something provoked the child. In such a situation, hitting the baby is useless.
You have to understand, kids are just learning how to correctly show each of their emotions. With the help of disobedience, they express their protest against some life circumstance. They still can’t explain in their own words, so they are pampering and trying to attract the attention of parents busy with other things.
How not to hit the baby in a fit of anger?
If mom feels like she can't hold back anymore, she should take a little break and do something-that will help you deal with negativity. For example, you can simply count to five in your head. Go to another room and tell the baby that you will be back soon. And then, when mom is alone, she can crumple up unnecessary papers or tear up newspapers to free herself from anger.
If a mother can be comforted by putting things in order, she can dust or fold things for a few minutes. It is also allowed to eat something tasty - something that usually brings pleasure - a piece of cake, candy or your favorite salad.
You can imagine the situation from the outside - is it really that important. Useful memories of yourself in childhood - what mom and dad felt when their parents punished them. A pretty good option to soothe yourself is to take a warm shower using a pleasantly scented gel.
You can use more humor. Almost any situation is discharged with a joke, and the problem will no longer seem so important.
Yes, such methods cannot help absolutely everyone. But if you wish, you can find some suitable solution.
Looking for an alternative
So is it okay to beat a child for educational purposes? The tips in this article will help parents to restrain themselves, not wave their arms, and try to achieve obedience in more calm ways.
The advice of psychologists suggests that from a very young age, the baby needs to set boundaries for him. Explain to him what is possible and what is not, how to behave correctly in public places, should be from the very momenthow the baby begins to understand speech. And yet, no matter how well parents are engaged in raising a child, periodic whims and pranks cannot be avoided.
Much more effective than physical punishment would be a simple explanation for the undesirability of such behavior. True, if the baby is in hysterics, it is better to start a conversation when he calms down. It will be easier for babies to come to their senses if you wash them with cool water or switch their attention to toys.
Talking to the child should be very soft, not lisping or pressing on him. It is necessary to take an interest in the reasons for such an act of the baby, calmly explain to him why it is impossible to do this, how the situation can be corrected. It is wise to offer the child those behaviors that will be acceptable.
If the wrongdoing happens for the first time, suggestion and warning will be enough that the next time the punishment will follow (parents announce what it will be).
Correct educational measures
If you choose which of the educational measures to be applied, then it is better to pay attention to non-coercive methods of influence: deprivation of going to the cinema, cafe or for a walk, computer games, pocket money and the like. It is very important in such a situation to be consistent parents: if mom or dad promised to punish bad behavior, then this is exactly what should be done. Because the child, feeling his permissiveness, will repeat his pranks many times.
To eradicate unwanted behavior, you need to talk with your children as much as possible, showsincere interest in their friends and surroundings, because many problems begin there. We should not forget that children copy the behavior of adults. We need to think, maybe in some ways the parents themselves set a bad example for the baby (they do not keep promises, use swear words). If the grown-ups figured out what they were wrong about, they should work on themselves too.
Punishing, but right
So is it okay to beat a child for educational purposes? Of course, it's better not to. True, the refusal to use physical “arguments” in communicating with a baby or teenager does not mean at all that it is necessary to completely abandon such an effective measure as disciplinary action.
If a child has committed a rather serious misconduct, parents should take certain steps. Otherwise, repetition of misbehavior cannot be avoided. And it will be very difficult to deal with such a mass phenomenon of "indulgence".
To begin with, before punishing, it is necessary to find out the motive of the committed act. It is likely that the reason for the breakdown of a phone or camera is not the desire to spoil an expensive thing, but to try to study its structure. Punishment can be avoided, it is important to just talk to the child. Explain to him the value of the damaged item.
If the baby is too aggressive, it is acceptable to leave him in the room alone - without toys, computer or books - just for a few minutes. This is called the timeout method. True, it is unacceptable to leave children in a dark room or closet.
You canIs it possible to beat a child in order to educate? Still no. You can deprive the child of some pleasure. Just to start to figure out what is really important to him. For a little peanut, a ban on watching cartoons is suitable. For an older child - communication with peers.
Method of emotional impact. Many children do not realize, due to their age, that with their bad deeds they hurt mom and dad very much. You can show how upset the parents of the behavior of the child.
Children should be taught to be responsible for their actions. For example, if you painted a table or a chair with paints, you need to wash everything. I got a bad grade at school - learn everything and fix it. For many children, such methods cannot be called punitive. On the contrary, they begin to develop responsible behavior over time.
Conclusion
Asking by no means a simple question of whether parents can beat their children, it should be understood that when applying any physical punishment, mothers and fathers sign their own weakness and that they do not know how to convey their thoughts to the baby in other ways ways.
Injuries of a psychological nature that children received in childhood and which are the result of cruel upbringing may well act as "destroyers" of the future of children. They are also able to permanently ruin their relationship with the closest and dearest people - moms and dads. Therefore, before deciding to spank a baby, you need to think twice and try to find a more humane way of influence.
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