Is it worth keeping the marriage for the sake of the child? It is generally accepted that the divorce of parents negatively affects children. Of course, it is natural for a child to suffer when mom and dad stop living together. But the worst thing is when children grow up in an unfavorable environment, where conflicts and quarrels of parents become commonplace.
Together or separately
Opinions are divided on the question of whether to keep the marriage for the sake of the child. Some believe that children need to live with mom and dad, no matter what happens. The rest are of the opinion that unfavorable relationships in the family negatively affect the child and may form a wrong idea about family life.
There are various situations in life when spouses have to get divorced. However, children are not always happy with this outcome. Almost every child wants his mom and dad to be together. And absolutely all children want to grow up in a full-fledged family.
Possible problems whendivorce
Many have to endure for the sake of each other's children. Of course, it is good for children to live in a family where understanding and harmony reign. If the parents regularly swear, then the child will feel unhappy. For children, the strained relationship between mom and dad causes a lot of stress, which can have a negative impact on their development.
As a result, most parents come to the decision that it's time to get a divorce. The child most often stays with the mother. And the man does not fulfill his paternal role in the upbringing of joint children. And if it does, it doesn't work to the fullest. The role of mother is very significant in the life of every child, but without a father it is quite difficult to raise a real man from a boy. Unfortunately, a woman cannot always cope with such a difficult task.
Some parents tend to turn their kids against each other after a divorce. In such a situation, it is very pitiful for children who, not wanting it themselves, become judges of their parents.
Make a decision to save the marriage
Living with the unloved for the sake of the child is sometimes necessary for many men. Unfortunately, children are unplanned, but they should not suffer because of this. Parents who decide to keep the marriage bond need to understand that this is serious work. First of all, it is necessary to establish relations between the spouses. And only after that it will be possible to raise the child harmoniously.
According to the life stories of various families, it is much easier to maintain real relationships than to build new ones. ATthe new family will need to do the same work to build a fulfilling relationship with the new husband or wife. And if this fails again, then there will be a big risk of repeating everything again.
I live with my husband for the sake of the child
It is often women who cling to the fragments of the fragile happiness of marriage. And often it is children who are the main link in this process.
Women often try to save their marriages for the following reasons:
- Financial dependence on spouse.
- Fear of being alone with children.
- Hope that the relationship can be restored.
- Fear of being guilty in the eyes of the daughter and son for failing to save the family.
- Subconscious choice of the role of the victim.
- Finding reasons to keep things the same.
Spouses often forget that there is no one to blame in a relationship. This is solely the "merit" of both parties.
Child as a front
Saving a marriage for the sake of children is sometimes just an excuse to cover up your unwillingness to divorce your spouse. In such a situation, a woman should understand the true reasons for her desire to save her family. Sometimes the fair sex does not want to lose their comfort zone. In addition, there is a fear of loneliness. As a result, the cover of the child leads to the path of the victim, and then to a dead end.
Unfortunately, the continuation of relations between spouses in the future may negatively affect children. woman inemotional outburst can reproach the child for sacrificing her happiness for him. And the worst thing is that she herself begins to believe in it.
Torture for children
Is it worth keeping the marriage for the sake of the child? Psychologists say that children are very hard to endure regular quarrels and conflicts in the family, as well as problems that are hushed up under the fake smiles of their parents. Toddlers, like teenagers, are very sensitive to pretense and deceit.
It's common for kids to feel guilty about mommy and daddy fighting. For this reason, children tend to withdraw into themselves. They often become nervous and irritable.
The value of marriage for a child
Is it worth living with a husband for the sake of a child? It is very important for children to realize that they have a mother and father. The stamp in the passport plays a secondary role for them. The child should feel that his parents love him and take part in his life with pleasure.
In most full-fledged families, children see dad only on weekends, since most of the time he disappears in the office and works. This means that he is not always aware of the life of children and their interests.
When a family is on the verge of divorce, there is less interest in the child's life. Therefore, sometimes it happens that a divorce can change the situation for the better. But only if the parents can competently agree on further participation in the life of the baby.
Happy parents raise happy children
Worth savingmarriage for a child? It's not just about children when it comes to relationships between spouses. In no case should you divorce with minor difficulties that can arise in almost all respects. A person should come to such a decision deliberately and only when he is absolutely sure that he has done everything in order to save the marriage. Only in this way there is a chance to save what took so long to build.
The atmosphere of love and joy in the family teaches the child to be a happy person and create positive things around him. Of course, there are certain types of temperament, but the ability to enjoy is a skill.
Looking at the unfortunate mom and dad, it is common for a child to adopt their mood. In the future, a child who grew up in such a family will accept misfortune as an absolute norm, and will also look for reasons for this condition.
How to decide on a divorce from your husband
Of course, it is very difficult to decide on a divorce, even if there are many reasons for this. Before making such a responsible decision, a woman should:
- It's good to think about whether the reasons are really good for a divorce. If the problem lies in the accumulated everyday moments, resentment, or the emergence of an attraction to another man, then time is needed in order not to “break wood”. But if a woman has been considering this decision for a long time, and living together with her husband has turned into a nightmare, then it is probably better to leave.
- Visit a family psychologist. Try to tell him everythingworries you. An experienced specialist will help not only solve your problems, but also give practical advice about a possible divorce from your husband.
- Do not neglect the advice of an experienced lawyer. It is important to prepare for all the possible difficulties that may arise during the filing of a divorce process.
- Discuss your decision with your husband. Explain in detail to him all the reasons that contributed to the decision to divorce. Try to disperse peacefully, since you have children in common, so you will often see each other and intersect.
- Talk to family and friends. Enlist their understanding and support, which is so necessary for a woman who is divorcing her husband.
- Before considering information on how to decide on a divorce from your husband, you should make your plans for the future. To survive a breakup, it is desirable that a woman represents all the consequences. It is necessary to clearly work out a picture of what you will do, with whom to communicate and whose help you can count on. There is no need to be afraid of problems, because even from the most difficult situation there is always a way out.
- Remember that there is always a chance to be happy!
You can save your family
Together for the sake of the children? Some marriages can be saved, and not just because there is a child in the family. Many couples go through a period of crisis in their relationship. And if problems and issues that arise are not resolved in time, they will become an obstacle on the way to a long and joint life. As long as the situation has not gone too far, you can find a lot of options forrelationship resuscitation.
Psychologist's advice on family preservation:
- Over time, spouses stop seeing each other as individuals. Over time, the arrangement of life, the solution of current issues, the second half begins to be considered from the position: it is obliged. A man should take part in the upbringing of children, earn money and help. The wife should have time to clean, cook, take care of the child and look good. For some time, lovers begin to forget about the existence of common interests and hobbies. It is human nature to experience, rejoice and be sad, and to the other half it seems insignificant. In such a situation, it is very important to realize in time that there is a person with your interests, experiences and joys next to you. It is this approach that will help save the family in a similar situation.
- The ability to talk to each other on both professional and family topics. No emotions and resentments should interfere with your conversations. You should start a conversation with words such as: “I”, “me”, “me”, etc. You should not immediately demand an answer from your partner at the beginning of the conversation. Of course, it is quite difficult, but the result is worth it.
- Over time, the spouses may accumulate irritation towards each other. Try to analyze the human qualities that your spouse lacks. Then remember all the positive qualities for which you fell in love with him. Over time, we tend to stop noticing the good. It is very important to compliment your soulmate as often as possible.Help each other and the weather in your house will clear up.
- If you are sure that you will not be able to cope with problems on your own, then perhaps you should seek help from a family psychologist. There is nothing to worry about if you are really determined to save the family.
Family and Children Assistance Center
Every person, regardless of their position in society or material status, may need psychological help. As practice shows, people tend to look at each other through the prism of emotions, so a look from the outside is very important to solve some problems. In case of family conflicts, the Center for Assistance to Families and Children can provide serious psychological support. It is a specialist in this field who will help to look at the situation from a different angle and find a solution even when the parties no longer count on reconciliation.
Most people find it very difficult to cope with stress after a divorce. With a psychologist, you can discuss all your concerns and get professional help.
Sometimes children suffer a lot because of the negativity in the family. For this reason, difficulties in their upbringing can be observed. The psychologist of the center will be able to help the mother in raising children and understanding their behavior. Do not let the situation take its course, and also do not try to change everything yourself when this does not work out for a long time.
Don't be negative about a psychologist. This is not a doctor who will diagnose you. The psychologist will assess your situation from the outside and give useful advice to resolve absolutely any problems and problems.conflict situations.