Is it worth living with a wife for the sake of a child? Divorce or endure for the sake of children

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Many men who, for one reason or another, are unhappy in marriage, are wondering: is it worth living with a wife for the sake of a child? When faced with a difficult choice, it is so easy to stumble and take the wrong step. But you can not act rashly, succumbing to the first impulse of feelings. Otherwise, the consequences can be completely unpredictable. For some young people, such a decision becomes akin to self-sacrifice. After all, you need to step over yourself, overcome a high internal barrier, tune in to a constant struggle with yourself. All this is not easy to do, especially when you want to live for yourself, make plans and strive to achieve them.

Before finally deciding whether to divorce or endure for the sake of children, it is necessary to consider the situation from different angles. You can not just take and try to overcome the obstacle in one fell swoop. We need to act gradually. Sometimes it's better to try to change something in life than to drive yourself into a corner and suffer all the way.the rest of your life. Let's take a closer look at what you need to pay close attention to.

Having a feeling

You need to honestly ask yourself if you feel tenderness and love for your spouse. If after a long period of living together the passion is gone, it can be returned. Perhaps this is just a transitional stage, which is not so terrible and critical. The presence of a mutual feeling will help put everything in its place, determine the next steps. If love is alive, then, most likely, there will be strength to deal with everyday difficulties. There is no need to complicate everything further, to act to your detriment. After all, it is easy to waste feelings, but it is much more difficult to save them.

You need to be an emotionally mature person, to understand what you want to achieve in the long term. Marriage without love is a less desirable option, since the partners are not emotionally attached to each other. They may consciously try to live together for a common goal, however, this will not bring happiness. Raising a child is not all that should really unite. In such a step, self-sacrifice is clearly heard, which cannot always be justified. There is nothing sadder than constantly watching next to you a person who has become incredibly distant. That is why it is necessary to pay attention to feelings, to strive to keep them with all your might.

Take your time

Another rule that, unfortunately, is often overlooked. When asking the question whether it is necessary to save a marriage for the sake of children, it is necessary to clearly understand thatany careless movement can lead to the wrong choice. That is why it will be extremely useful to learn to keep silent somewhere, to restrain a negative emotion. After all, being rude is easy enough, and correcting the situation is much more difficult. Don't rush to part with someone you've lived with for a while.

There is nothing more stupid than trying to end a relationship simply because there is no strength to understand the situation and do something to fix it. Subsequently, you can very much regret the step you took, especially when the decision is thoughtless and negative emotions are pushing you towards it. Let resentment, disappointment settle down, anxiety and an unconscious desire to take revenge go away. You need to give yourself time to sit quietly and think about what is happening. Excessive fussiness will not help solve the problem, but will confuse it even more.

No self-sacrifice

Only if the circumstances for wondering whether it is worth living with a wife for the sake of a child are not so difficult, one should not give up the opportunity to be oneself. Refrain from self-sacrifice. This path does not lead to anything good: irritability grows, emotional fatigue appears, a feeling of seeming hopelessness. Gradually, people are completely disappointed in the situation and in the relationship. They do not even want to try to build something, as they are catastrophically afraid of another disappointment. Don't back yourself into a corner! No need for unnecessary criticism and self-flagellation! One should not simply endure unsuitable conditions for years without daring to do anything.undertake. Even if such people do not disagree with time, they still feel deeply unhappy. There is nothing worse than constantly forcing yourself to do something, overcoming internal rejection. As a result, a lot of energy is wasted, and meaningful understanding is never achieved.

Infidelity Situation

It takes place where the partners are tired of each other, have ceased to experience mutual interest. It is possible that such a mistake as non-fidelity will be made. People just need a fresh perspective to know that the situation is under control. Reflecting on how to forgive your wife's betrayal and move on, you need to conduct a deep analysis of feelings. The situation of infidelity does not directly indicate that it is necessary to start living apart as soon as possible. You should not try in every possible way to push a loved one away from you.

It is necessary to understand well what is going on, so as not to do stupid things. It is possible that the woman decided to take such a step due to the fact that she lacked attention and affection from a permanent partner. Few men find the strength to dig deep into themselves, their own daily behavior, admit that there is a problem and really try to do something. Only a strong personality is ready for change. The rest will hardly be able to do it on their own.

Copy behavior

It's about the fact that when there are children in a marriage, they always closely monitor the reaction of their parents. Of course they still can'tanalyze the behavior of the father and mother, but on a subconscious level, they perceive everything. It makes no sense to deceive children, to promise them something that will never happen. Many people are interested in: how do children survive the divorce of their parents? Most of the time this is pretty hard. It is very difficult for a child to adapt to changed conditions, especially when they relate to family life. A small person wants to feel protected, feels the need for stability and even some predictability. Instead, he is faced with a situation where his entire inner world is collapsing. The kid is unable to explain what is happening to himself, so he often closes, becomes capricious, overly anxious, receptive and even aggressive. These are all direct effects of stress. The child always copies the behavior of the parents. He does this on a subconscious level, assimilating effective patterns of behavior in modern society.

Understand yourself

It means that a man should be clearly aware of his hidden intentions, and not try to manipulate the existing state. To understand yourself means to completely abandon criticism, to systematically blame your other half for what is happening. In a couple, all responsibility lies with both partners, this is a long-known truth. It cannot be that only one is to blame, and the other acts only as a silent victim. Before deciding whether to divorce or not, you need to look deep inside yourself very carefully. You will be able to see the immutable truth only if you realize what exactly is possible foryou. A person cannot develop without making some specific efforts. Understand in which area your individual aspirations lie, what you want to achieve as a result. There is nothing sadder than losing a loved one because of some stupidity. There are already too many losses in life to diligently avoid close communication as well.

Relationship crisis

Sometimes the desire to break the bonds of marriage can be dictated by a simple need to be free from problems. For some, a defensive reaction works this way, strength appears in order to live on, to make difficult decisions. For some people, family is the most important thing in life. For this reason, they cannot even imagine how it is possible to be dissatisfied with each other enough to decide on a divorce. We should not forget about the crises in relationships, which happen about once every three to four years. There is no getting away from them, they will definitely be.

This is a normal stage in the development of family relationships. There is nothing surprising and strange in the fact that a person wants to somehow transform his life, to solve certain difficulties with a partner. Is it worth it to divorce your wife if you no longer understand each other? Not really. On the contrary, it is necessary to make every effort to save the marriage, give it the opportunity to revive and prolong good relations. Mutual understanding is something that needs to be worked on. She does not come on her own, no matter how much we would like to. People sometimes consider themselves too weak tosolve everyday problems. The stages of a relationship between a man and a woman just suggest that the couple will constantly need to overcome certain difficulties. Being married, you do not need to feel sorry for yourself, to declare what an unfortunate and misunderstood person you are. We can overcome the crisis in relations. It is only necessary to strive for mutual understanding, to come to an understanding of the reasons for what is happening.

Joint activities

Is it worth it to keep a family for the sake of children, if the spouses are engaged in some common business? It can be a joint business or an undertaking that just needs to be completed. The main point is that if everything is destroyed, the child will also suffer. Here it is necessary to look at the situation, calculate ways to overcome the crisis. There is no need to constantly sacrifice yourself in something, but inevitably you will have to accept some details. In addition, any joint activity performed in good faith unites, makes you think about a lot. Deciding whether or not to get divorced sometimes requires going through many trials. A man must understand that he is responsible for his child, therefore he cannot simply dismiss the existing problems with his wife. It would be dishonest and wrong.

Desire to be a good example

Often, in front of our own children, we want to appear stronger than we really are. This desire is quite natural: you do not want to show your disappointment, fatigue, sudden depression. But the child on a subconscious level feels everything. He feels that something is wrong with you, even ifHide your eyes for days and force a smile on your face. When everything in the family collapses, children can hardly save the relationship. Marriage without love is a very common case, albeit a rather sad one. No matter how hard parents try to hide their irritation and dissatisfaction, the son or daughter will still notice the changes that have occurred.

It is best to learn to speak frankly with children, and not try to deceive them. The desire to be a good example for your child is quite commendable, however, this is not a reason for self-deception. Adults should always decide for themselves and make the final decision, and only then try to convey the necessary information to children's perception.

Working with Guilt

Plunging into thoughts about whether it is worth living with a wife for the sake of a child, one cannot focus solely on this component. Guilt suppresses good undertakings, closes visible prospects. It is necessary to work with him correctly, not to give him the opportunity to start managing his life. If you know that love has passed, there may be no point in staying around. Relying on your own sense of duty, you can become a deeply unhappy person, stop noticing the beautiful things that happen in life. And this is the wrong approach! We must learn something new, set certain goals and strive to achieve them. If the feeling of guilt is strong enough, you need to consider it from different angles, be sure to find out the reasons.

Sincerity

It is often possible to come across such a statement that the family is the mostthe main thing in life. It is difficult to argue with this truth. However, there are people who, for one reason or another, are not yet ready for family life. If a man suddenly discovers that he married too early, then he should be extremely sincere with himself. You can not lie and get out, just to try to relieve yourself of responsibility. If you have already shared your life with a woman, then it is time to work on yourself well.

Love is not a blessing given from above, but a constant work in which there is a desire to become better. Being in a family relationship, it is impossible to think only about yourself, build selfish plans. Sometimes a sincere explanation taken in time can save not only a marriage, but also strengthen the union of two people. After all, there is nothing sadder when a couple breaks up stupidly, failing to understand each other.

Instead of a conclusion

Thus, if you are thinking about whether it is worth living with your wife for the sake of a child, then you need to weigh all the arguments well. It is definitely not necessary to sacrifice yourself, just as you should not show excessive rigidity where you can get by with fairly simple and gentle methods. People sometimes feel too sorry for themselves instead of starting to act right now, without postponing the difficulty that has arisen. Acting in good conscience means not feeling guilty about not being able to fulfill your obligations. You should be able to look at the situation from the inside before taking the last decisive step. First of all, you need to demand honesty from yourself. Only in thiscase, you can hope for understanding.