The child does not want to communicate with children: causes, symptoms, character types, psychological comfort, consultations and advice from a child psychologist

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

All caring and loving parents will worry about the isolation of their baby. And not in vain. The fact that a child does not want to communicate with children can be a sign of a serious problem that will affect the formation of his personality and character in the future. However, there is another version of closed behavior. The reason for the lack of sociability may be in the characteristics of the child's temperament. Not every parent is able to determine in which case the baby needs support. Therefore, it is necessary to understand the reasons that force the child to reject communication with peers.

The problem of child withdrawal

Technological progress has influenced the fact that many people began to pay more and more attention to their gadgets instead of communicating with friends and relatives. That is why today's children are much more shy than the previous generation. A couple of decades ago, kids frolicked in the yards, playeddolls, catch-up and many other games. Now children see that one conversation at breakfast is enough for parents, and the rest of the time they are occupied with laptops and phones.

At first, adults try to distract their child with cartoons, including them at any time of the day, and then they ask themselves: "They are not friends with the child, what to do and how to change it?" It is necessary to communicate more with the baby, playing games with him that will improve his communication skills.

Definition of closedness

Closedness is not a manifestation of mental illness. This is just the triggering of a defense mechanism that manifests itself in situations where a child wants to protect his little world from external problems. Closeness is rarely inherited. This character trait is acquired. Most often, a child does not want to communicate with children because of stressful situations that have greatly influenced his perception.

They could happen in kindergarten, at home or on the street, while playing with peers. Many parents note that the baby can become shy and withdrawn quite abruptly. Yesterday he was active and sociable, but today the child does not want to communicate with other children and rejects their attempts to make friends. This once again confirms the fact that isolation is a signal to parents that something is bothering the baby.

What leads to tightness and unwillingness to communicate

Handing a tablet into the hands of a child,in order to distract him with another cartoon, adults, without realizing it, develop in him isolation and unwillingness to communicate with peers. This lifestyle makes it clear to the baby that communicating with someone is a waste of time. Much better to sit on the sidelines and mind your own business. Especially when there are such interesting games on the phone, and funny cartoons on the tablet that perfectly distract from real life. Due to the availability of gadgets, the child does not want to communicate with children and prefers solitude. Therefore, parents should limit their use of their tablet or smartphone.

Shyness symptoms

Recognizing a closed child is quite simple. Excessive shyness and closeness are manifested in the following:

• The child does not like to talk. He becomes quiet and has almost no contact with anyone. If he has to address someone, he does it very quietly or in a whisper.
• The child does not want to communicate with peers. This may show up when you move to a new kindergarten, preschool, or school. It is difficult for him to communicate with children on a new playground, he increasingly prefers independent digging in the sandbox to collective games.
• He never expresses his own opinion, always and in everything obeys his parents and never rebels. A quiet and calm child may seem ideal for many adults, because of this, few people notice that his tightness and isolation go beyond acceptable limits.
• A child can't make friends. This should alert parents, because it is in childhood that a person tends to be as friendly and disposed to communicate as possible.
• He is attracted to strange hobbies. For example, instead of asking for a kitten or a puppy, like all children, a child dreams of a spider or a snake.
• Increased emotionality. Any failure makes him shed tears.

All these symptoms should tell parents that the baby needs their help and support. Having identified them, you should not attack the child with questions about why he behaves this way. You need to try to delicately enter into his confidence by talking about abstract topics.

Reluctance to communicate and the temperament of the child

Many parents try to justify the isolation of the baby by his innate temperament. Of course, such an opinion may well be true. However, even in this case, it is necessary to carefully understand what exactly he feels when he does not want to communicate.

The following types of temperament exist:

• Sanguine.
• Choleric.
• Phlegmatics.
• Melancholy.

In addition to these types, there is another important factor that affects the definition of the personality of each. It can be determined by the way in which a person tends to replenish the reserves of spiritual energy. For example, extroverts need to interact with other people. They cannot live without their energy and often become discouraged when they have to be alone for a long time. Introverts are a completely different type of people. They arereplenish energy from themselves. Only being in solitude, they gain spiritual strength.

Many parents believe that the isolation of the child is a manifestation of the introversion of temperament. To figure out if this is really the case, you need to learn to distinguish a real introvert from a shy child.

How to spot a true introvert

Children who are introverts from birth do not have self-esteem issues. They communicate quite easily with peers, but instead of this communication they will always prefer solitude. An introverted child is always self-confident, easily finds a common language with other children, but at the same time does not look for new friends and acquaintances. Only having met the most worthy object for friendship, he will go towards him and deign to get acquainted. Only having interested an introvert, you can find an approach to him and get into the number of close people. Parents of such a baby will not have to ask themselves the question: "How to teach a child to be friends?" Therefore, do not justify shyness and isolation with temperament.

Shy and introverted introvert

Other babies may have signs of introversion in their temperament, but also have increased shyness and isolation. Such children are afraid of large crowds of people, worry when they are addressed, and also begin to get lost in public places. Despite the fact that introversion is an inborn predisposition that cannot be corrected,closure can be overcome. You can't leave everything as it is. If you do not help the child with his communication problems, it can harm his future. Growing up, it becomes more and more difficult for a person to overcome his fears and complexes. Therefore, parents should help the baby to cope with this in childhood. There will be no one else to do it except them.

Children's withdrawal - the norm or deviation?

When a child does not want to communicate with children, many parents consider this to be normal shyness, which the baby will outgrow on its own. Nevertheless, child psychologists consider excessive isolation as a serious shortcoming that can negatively affect the child in the future.

Everyone is prone to shyness. However, there is a difference between its manifestation in individual cases (in the doctor's office, on a date, while speaking in public) or in a situation where a person suffers from it constantly. For example, if a child is afraid to once again approach peers to play or talk, it is necessary to help the child overcome discomfort and fear of communication.

The consequences of shyness and unwillingness to communicate

Closed child can cause the following problems:

• The baby will be criticized by other children. Too shy always become the subject of attacks and ridicule of peers.
• Because the child will constantly feel anxiety and excitement, chronic nervousness and depression may develop.
• It will be much more difficult for a withdrawn kid to realize his potential and show his talents. As you grow oldershyness will become even more severe and pronounced. This will prevent a person from achieving success in any industry.
• Personal issues may arise. Introverted people are most likely to remain single throughout their lives, they do not marry or have children.

It is precisely because of these reasons that everything must be done to help the child overcome the psychological discomfort associated with the unwillingness to communicate with other children.

Influence of character on isolation

Types of character also affect the level of shyness of the child. If he prefers quiet games to noisy ones from early childhood, most likely this is just a manifestation of his personal preferences. In this case, you can not force the child to communicate with peers through force, this will violate his psychological comfort. You need to try to interest him as much as possible in these games, so that he himself wants to participate in them. You can invite a couple of his friends home to make it easier for him to show his social skills in a comfortable environment. It will also help parents determine why children are not friends with their child.

You need to act quite differently if, by type of character, the baby is lively, energetic and active, but due to some circumstances has changed in behavior. In such a case, every responsible and loving parent should find out the reason why the child does not want to play with other children. You need to talk to him gently and delicately. Perhaps he himself will tell about what upset him. Most likely, the kid had a fight with one of his friends and is offended by them. Unwillingcommunicate with them, he only shows his character, making it clear to the offenders that they did wrong with him.

Advice from child psychologists

Most experts advise parents of withdrawn children to adhere to the following line of conduct:

• Don't tell your child that he has problems. Otherwise, it will lead to the development of complexes.
• You need to assess the situation in the family to make sure that the cause of isolation is not in it.
• Praise your child for expressing their own opinion. You need to ask his advice, share important family topics. He should feel like a full-fledged member of society, whose opinion is taken into account and valued.
• You need to try to improve the communication skills of the baby without imposing. Invite his peers home, help the child join the new team.
• Look closely at the behavior and clothes of the baby. When wondering why children do not want to play with a child, you need to make sure that he does not have strong differences that make him stand out too much. This may be an unusual style of dress or his speech. In this case, it is necessary to eliminate the cause that causes communication difficulties for the baby and repels other children.

In addition to the above recommendations, in some cases, doctors prescribe medications for children to improve cognitive abilities, as well as reduce the level of anxiety and worries of the child.