Husband lies constantly on trifles: what to do in such a situation

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

What to do if the husband constantly lies? How to deal with pathological lies, is it possible to change the behavior of your partner once and for all? This article contains various recommendations from psychologists and useful tips.

Destructive attitude

Emotionally destructive relationships can't lead to anything good. It is impossible to build a joint future and family with a person who constantly lies to you. The only thing a woman can do in this situation is to ask herself what is really going on. If a husband lies constantly, especially for many years, and does not even try to repent, then he probably does not need help with his problem.

In this case, you need to change not your partner, but your attitude towards him. Yes, no woman likes to live with a husband who constantly cheats. But is it possible to remain calm and feel happy if the partner does not even see problems in his behavior? If you don't like playing detective or mommy to catch him in a lie, then it's time to think about taking extreme measures. The fact that hedoes not want to change or work on his problem, will only upset you and drive you into depression. So what do you do if your husband is constantly lying?

Is there a solution to this problem?

If a husband constantly lies even on trifles, then this is an alarming bell. Without knowing the nature of lying, it is impossible to understand why your partner does this. And if consultations do not help, then sooner or later this habit will begin to destroy the marriage.

Depending on the nature of his lies, you may be asking yourself why you put yourself at risk of sexually transmitted diseases, for example. Such questions may seem harsh and painful, but only in this way will you be able to stand up to your husband.

Communication is an important part of a happy marriage

If you notice that your husband is constantly lying, then try to talk to him and discuss this problem. This may seem like a banal and stupid method that clearly does not work. However, this way you can find out at least an approximate reason for his pathological lies.

If the partner refuses to listen, the nature of the relationship will change. This does not mean that you will have to divorce him, but the trust will be broken. This practice is hard, but if you want to have a he althy relationship, you have to come to terms with the truth and reality. Remember that the only person you can change is yourself. You can help yourself with wisdom and fortitude, not fear and disappointment.

After talking with her husband, you need to turnattention to his behavior. Has he stopped lying or is he hiding something more carefully from you now? Does he seek to change his behavior and is he ready to work on pathological lies? Does he continue to ignore the problem and act like nothing happened?

Contact a specialist

Many women wonder why their husband is always lying. Psychologists note: craving to deceive can become an addiction and is treated only with the help of special therapies. Even if it looks like some people enjoy their lies, they really don't. Sometimes they just can't stop themselves and suffer not only from lies, but also from the pain they cause to others.

In psychiatry, the craving for pathological lies is defined as Munchausen's syndrome. Do not rush to get a divorce if you notice that your husband is lying all the time. What to do in this case? Try to analyze his behavior and find the root of the lie. Perhaps the main reason for lying is mental or emotional trauma received in childhood. This applies not only to men, but also to women.

Humiliation, insult from parents and peers, brothers and sisters can lead to pseudology. Constant criticism, an attempt to assert oneself at the expense of small children, rejection in society and the first unsuccessful relationship. Everything that adversely affects the fragile psyche can cause emotional shock, which provokes a craving for lies. A woman getting married may not evensuspect that she has chosen a partner prone to pseudology.

Why are they lying?

Husband constantly lies on trifles, deceives and obviously hides something? After the conversation, it is important to understand why he does this. If you are still sure that the root of the problem lies in the partner's past, then it's time to act. And first of all, you need to understand why the husband constantly lies on trifles and is prone to pseudology.

If it's all about mental and emotional trauma that has remained untreated since childhood, then probably your partner unconsciously creates an illusory world around him, much better than in his childhood. Pay attention to what his lies are based on: does he embellish events, add non-existent facts, does he seek to distinguish himself in any story and make a significant figure, is he offended if someone refutes his lies, especially when in public?

Many psychologists believe that it is impossible to cure pseudology. The reason is simple: a pathological liar is simply not able to survive in the real world, because for so many years he has painstakingly collected his illusory world piece by piece and pebbles. But some therapies still allow you to help a person realize their problem and start working on it. No drugs or clinical trial is prescribed. As a rule, several sessions of visiting a psychologist are enough to find out the reason for the lies and the desire to change.

Be prepared for any eventuality

A man's behavior is determined by two different, but very powerful emotions:attachment and sexual desire (it is important to see the difference between love, sex and deep sympathy). In all likelihood, your husband cannot imagine his life without his wife. He paints himself a picture of comfort with the woman who bore him two children. But at the same time, he is driven by sexual desire, which is a powerful motivator (sex drive).

These two fundamental emotions pull people in opposite directions: today the husband is with you, and tomorrow - with a new woman. Unfortunately, in a marriage it can be difficult to maintain a passionate and sexually exciting relationship over time. According to statistics, couples have the hottest and most mind-blowing intimate relationship in the first couple of years that they are together. Gradually, sex becomes a rare pleasure. This does not mean that intimacy is completely absent in marriage over the years, but the fact remains: the passion and intensity of sexual intercourse disappears over time.

Coolidge effect

For some people, the passion and intensity of sex is extremely important and beneficial, and can sometimes be addictive. And in order to experience these pleasant sensations over and over again, it is necessary to constantly maintain sexual contact. Often, men prefer new experiences rather than change sexual relationships while in marriage. This phenomenon is called the Coolidge effect.

As the story goes, US President John Calvin Coolidge Jr. and his wife visited the farm. The first lady noted that a rooster can trample on hens all day, while constantly changing individuals. Although it will be difficult to admit, because it goes against popular morality,but a variety of sexual partners can be very nice.

When people are confronted with these two strong emotions (attachment and sexual desire), they often do what your husband does: lie and cheat. Some are simply not able to live with one partner throughout their lives. And since people now exist in an era where the concept of love and intimacy is idealized, relationships become even more difficult. Now everyone wants their marriage to be full of passion, intimacy and unconditional love.

So what to do?

You are probably wondering: will the husband change? Probably not. If a partner can get rid of petty lies on their own or with the help of a psychologist, then it is unlikely to get a new experience from cravings.

However, only you yourself can understand whether it will be better to live without a husband further or not. Be prepared for the fact that a polygamous person cannot abruptly accept monogamy. It may take years to realize the lack of desire to have different sexual partners.

Signs of a pathological liar

Husband is constantly lying, but you do not know how to expose him in a lie? Try to be attentive in conversations with him, learn to memorize the details of his stories and stories.

Note the scale of his lies. It is small (fleeting) and global (carefully thought out). A person who is prone to pseudology is always trying to become a “professional” in every business. He can come up with stories about himself that you probably never even heard of before. Of course when youare in a company, new information about a partner can surprise and discourage. Asking your husband the logical question of why he didn't tell the story sooner can run into excuses.

Signs of a pathological liar:

• This man is always confused in his "testimony". Today he can say one thing, and tomorrow - another. If you make a remark, you will probably be offended.
• A person who is prone to pseudology often behaves secretly and withdrawn. He has very few friends and relatives, because they do not fit into the picture of an ideal world.
• Such people behave stiffly, but when the opportunity arises, they become absolute masters in any field. Most of all, they prefer to give advice, sometimes not even suspecting that there is little truth and reality in them.
• The pathological liar knows how to invent new facts on the go. You may not even notice that you received another batch of lies.

How to deal with pseudology

If a husband constantly lies, hides money, tells fables, but at the same time you are sure that he really has problems, then you can help him in this way:

1. Try to record dialogues - on a dictaphone or in a notepad. But the first option is much more effective, because the partner can react extremely violently to the letter, considering it a deception and staging.
2. Always ask why the man lied to you, why he did it and what was his purpose.
3. What to do if the husband constantly lies? Try to expose his lies, even if hetry to get out of the situation. Be prepared to be guilty because you don't trust your husband.

Main task

Don't build an illusory world around you. Understand that if a man lies to you, then sooner or later it will begin to destroy the marriage. How can you trust a person who is not sure of his own words? Where is the guarantee that his pathological lies will not develop into something serious?

In most cases, people who are prone to pseudology can take on large amounts of debt, constantly inventing various diseases and critical life situations that do not really exist.

In closing

Now you know what to do when your husband is constantly cheating and lying even on trifles. Only the liar himself can curb the desire to constantly deceive, and his relatives can only understand, accept and forgive. But not all women are ready to continue to live side by side with a man who does not even try to fight his problem, does not repent and does not realize the gravity of the situation.