What should I do if I constantly fight with my husband?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

You can often hear such an expression that "darlings scold, only amuse themselves." However, regular quarrels in the family cannot bring anything good. There can be many reasons for this phenomenon. If you are increasingly asking yourself the question: “What should I do if I constantly quarrel with my husband?”, Then it’s time to finally acknowledge the existing problem and try to solve it peacefully. But where to start? And how to fix the situation?

What do quarrels and strife lead to?

The simplest rule in the family: "Be able to hear and listen to your partner." It is because of non-compliance with this rule that quarrels most often begin.

As a result, both spouses cease to listen to the opinion of the other and respect his interests. They begin to defend each their point of view and, as a result, they regularly argue and quarrel. Hence the statements of women arise, like this: “We constantly quarrel with my husband because of the little things.” At the same time, both spouses begin to resemble offended children from whom a toy was taken away. Each of them stands on his own and does not intend to give in to the other.

If everything continues at the same pace, then both spouses will realize that they have absolutely nothing in common. The consequences of thisdivorce, division of property with all the ensuing consequences.

The main thing is to stop in time

If a husband and wife are constantly arguing, then at least one of them should definitely stop and take a sober look at the situation. Think carefully about how it all started and how your quarrel is going. If it was not possible to remember this, it is necessary to think about the fact that both partners are certainly the culprits of troubles in the family.

If, in your opinion, the quarrel was started by your husband, what prevented you from stopping in time? Why did you suddenly turn into a child and with a frantic fuse entered into an argument? You supported the arguing, which means you are no less guilty.

It is quite possible that your spouse simply flared up. In this case, it can be influenced by various factors, including unpleasant moments at work, lack of finances, and much more. Be smart. Do not respond to a shout by raising your tone. Invite the spouse to calm down and look at the subject of the dispute calmly. At the same time, your tone should be balanced, and your voice should be calm. After that, many men come to their senses. Remember, the main thing is to stop in time, before something that was not worth saying was said. And then you will no longer wonder why my husband and I constantly fight.

Try to compromise

Any negotiation, including those between two arguing spouses, needs a compromise. Sometimes find itnot at all easy, but necessary. For example, if you're arguing over who picks up the kids from school or daycare, compromise and make a schedule. Your husband will do it on Mondays and Wednesdays, and you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And so that no one is offended, on Friday, a grandmother or grandfather will completely cope with this task. And then you definitely won’t start a conversation with your friends with the phrase: “Girls, I constantly swear with my husband, how to fix the situation?”.

What does the lack of compromise lead to?

In the absence of a compromise or a desire to look for it, each of the partners will do it in spite of the other. For example, a husband will regularly stay late at work, because it is there that he can get rid of your reproaches and whims. He will turn off the phone, spend more time with friends. And sometimes come far from being sober. All this results in a certain protest and a desire to get away from an unpleasant and tense situation in the family. As they say, a man should have a reliable rear at home. If he is not there, he will simply begin to return there less often, and over time, perhaps, he will stop altogether.

The wife, on the contrary, will be offended. Sometimes she will turn to her parents, relatives, like-minded people for help. She will ask all of them: “We constantly swear with my husband, what should I do?”. Of course, each case is individual. However, with this approach, your marriage is unlikely to last long. Take action and make a difference.

How to fix the problem together?

In order to solve any problem, it is necessary to act together. For example, many ladies claim that their strife is purely financial in nature. From them you can hear something like this: “We constantly quarrel with my husband because of money. They are missing. Low salary. We can’t buy and postpone anything,” etc. However, before you nag your husband and once again remind him of his small salary, think about what exactly you did in order to solve this problem. So how do you proceed?

First, talk to your husband. However, do not base your conversation on reproaches alone. Psychologists recommend using the hamburger tactic. Remember that a hamburger has two buns and one patty.

So, first you need to praise your husband, then scold a little (in moderation, of course), and then praise again. For example, you get something like this: “Dear! You are so talented and smart. It's just that your boss doesn't appreciate you. Your salary is small, although you work seven days a week, and you do everything for three specialists. It is not right. Talk to management. Say it's time for a career advancement. You have already grown out of your position and are ready for responsibility, new obligations. Ask for a raise and a pay raise. You know how I appreciate your courage, prudence and responsiveness. You will succeed, you'll see!”.

Believe me, with this approach, you will no longer need to look for answers to the question: “Tell me what to do? I constantly argue with my husband and don't know what to do!”.

Don't try to remake anyone and look for peaceful solutions

The most common mistake in family relationships is the desire of one partner to remake the other. Hence the mutual insults and reproaches. That's just not a single person can be remade, of course, if he himself does not want it.

If you decide to "educate" your husband, think about it - perhaps something is wrong with you. If you think that everything is in order with you, then for cardinal changes in the character of your spouse, you should act gently and unobtrusively. And then the catchphrase “I constantly quarrel with my husband”, which you often use when communicating with friends, will disappear from your vocabulary forever.

A simple example that many psychologists hear at the reception - the husband often walks around the apartment in shoes, but the wife does not like it. What should you do in such a case? Stop yelling at him. If he is so used to it, then talking in raised tones will not help here. So, the selfish phrase “I want you not to walk around the apartment in shoes” can easily be replaced with “I would like our house to be clean and comfortable. So be kind, don't walk around the room in boots and appreciate my work.”

Chat each other more

Sometimes women make an unforgivable mistake - they are unhappy with something, but do not tell their husband about the reason. Of course, you can expect your spouse to figure out why his other half was offended for years. As a rule, he evenhas no idea what, in fact, it is about.

If something doesn't suit you, tell your spouse about it. However, this should not be done in the form of a complaint - it is better to communicate gently and accurately, without hurting his male pride.

Pregnant: my husband and I are constantly fighting

Often women who are in an interesting position are prone to quarrels and mood swings. It's all due to an excess of hormones. Of course, if you have a loving and caring husband, he will understand exactly what your mood swings are connected with.

If the situation has escalated, and you can’t do anything about it and the scandals continue, try breathing exercises. It helps to relax, calm thoughts and even balance emotions. As an option, a special yoga complex for pregnant women with elements of simple exercises and breathing is suitable.

Stay outdoors more. In the end, there are alternative ways to deal with emotions. For example, psychologists advise singing, dancing or doing creative work (knitting, sewing, making something). And then your family will be quiet and calm.