Touchy child: what to do?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Patience is considered not the most attractive trait for both a child and an adult. It pushes people away and does not allow them to live a full life. So that the child does not grow up touchy, parents need to address this unpleasant character trait as early as possible.

The essence of childish resentment

During the formation of personality, the child independently puts together his own ideas about himself. The fundamental part of the character is formed through the influence of parents or close relatives. After all, it is their behavior that is an example for the child of how to act. Adults begin to compare children with each other, distinguish their child from the general crowd, and constantly evaluate his behavior, habits, words and appearance. After that, they still wonder why children are touchy.

Such a parental attitude affects the character traits acquired by the baby. Not having his own reinforced opinion, the child is always waiting for a reaction to all his actions. From adults, he needs recognition and attention. Therefore, if the baby was denied the purchase of anothertoys, no wonder he starts tantrums and resentment.

Showing resentment

However, the reaction in children is completely different. Depending on the character, the child reacts to stressful situations in the following way:

• Trying to fix things.
• Angry, aggressive.
• Offended.

The last feeling is known for its fine line between hope and disappointment. Having not received the expected action or reaction from adults or peers, the child cannot control his feelings and is offended. Childish resentment always feels the need for demonstration so that the offender notices how badly he did and begins to regret. When offended, the child certainly reinforces his emotions with facial expressions, gestures, crying or silence.

Before you condemn the baby for the manifestation of resentment, it is necessary to find out the essence of its occurrence. Perhaps his reaction to some events is quite normal and adequate. It is especially delicate to treat the insults of a child who is under 5 years old. At this age, the baby is just beginning to learn how to manage his emotions.

Reasons for frequent offenses

It is quite different to look at the situation if the child shows resentment already at a conscious age. Most likely, these are already manifestations of manipulation, especially in the case of resentment against parents. The characteristics of a resentful child may include:

• Low self-esteem. In this case, the baby constantly experiences doubts about his own thoughts, abilities and talents. It seems to himthat he is worse than the rest of the children in everything. He may also consider himself unworthy of the attention of adults or other people of interest to him. This is what makes a touchy child hide, avoid contact with everyone, be rude and show his whims. Thus, he tries to show his importance in the eyes of others. If insults entail increased attention, the child fixes this in his memory, and when he becomes sad or lonely, he prefers to remind himself with the help of such actions. To overcome low self-esteem of the baby, it is necessary to praise, encourage and encourage him as often as possible.
• Lack of attention. Even when parents do not feel that they are paying little attention to their child, a touchy child may have a different opinion on this matter. Most often it goes against the beliefs of adults. Therefore, it is not necessary to immediately reject the lack of attention as the main cause of resentment. It is necessary as often as possible to be interested in the life of the child, his interests, hobbies, friends. Every evening with the family should be accompanied by heart-to-heart conversations. This is the only way to make up for the child's lack of attention and prevent resentment.

What parents should do

First of all, parents need to understand that it will not be possible to quickly re-educate a touchy child. For an effective result, it will take a very long time to work with his self-consciousness. Sometimes it will be difficult and painful to work out the deep complexes of the child, which have become the cause of excessive resentment. Howeverit is imperative to do so. Only after passing through this difficult stage, the child will understand how much unnecessary pain resentment brings him.

Parents do not have to wait for a critical situation to start working with the perception of their child. Attentive parents should recognize the problematic character trait as soon as possible before it brings suffering to the child. Because of ridiculous insults, he may lose friends or alienate all his acquaintances from himself. To prevent this from happening, adults should gently and delicately influence the psyche of a touchy child.

Practical advice for adults

You can bring the futility of insults to the baby with the help of games or joint leisure. It is very important not just to read notations, but to try to interest him with your explanations. To do this, you can use the joint reading and discussion of what has been read. Based on the subject of the book, you need to explain to the kid the reason for the actions of the protagonist. An important advantage will be his sympathy for the main participant in all the events in the book. By identifying the motives of his behavior together, you can help the child overcome his own fears and complexes. Comparing himself with the main character of the book, the kid will be clearly aware of how to behave in a given situation.

How to help your child deal with resentment

Thinking about what to do with a touchy child, first of all, you need to talk heart to heart with him. Parents should teach their baby to express emotions from the most conscious age. You can't force a child to hideor be ashamed of your feelings. He shouldn't be afraid of them. If a child grows up too touchy and vulnerable, this indicates his inability to express emotions in a natural way, without quarrels or tears. Only by learning to identify the causes of psychological discomfort will he be able to express his feelings less painfully.

The child must understand that he is not alone in experiencing such a huge range of emotions. Other people also feel disappointed, misunderstood and inconsistent with reality to their desires. Nevertheless, many know how to correctly express their dissatisfaction, without crying and accusations. Thanks to this skill, their frustration does not bring them so much pain and disappointment. The same must be explained to the child.

How to deal with a touchy baby

It is difficult for young children to explain the internal motives of adults that encourage them to transform the offense into a dialogue. But most often parents have a question: what to do with a touchy child of preschool age? Therefore, it is necessary to use certain tricks by analyzing situations that occurred during the day. For example, you need to tell a child that a friend refused him a toy not because he treats him badly and does not want to be friends, but simply because it is new. The fact that he was not invited to play can be explained by the fact that he himself showed no desire to participate in the team. You need to help your child look at hurtful situations differently. By having such conversations every day, you can teach him to correctly understand the thoughts and actions of other people, even if the child is very touchy.

How to prevent persistent resentment

In order to prevent the insidious feeling from overcoming the heart of a little man, it is necessary to prevent the development of touchiness. To do this, follow the following rules:

• Don't compare your child to others. Such actions destroy the child's psyche and make the baby constantly compete with other children. He begins to perceive any of his misconduct too painfully, which leads to the development of an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. These experiences will sooner or later make the child unnecessarily touchy and vulnerable.
• No need to play contests with small children. It is better to choose intellectual games that have clear rules and boundaries. The constant desire to win will interfere with the normal development of the baby. Because of this, touchy preschool children carry all their experiences into adulthood.
• Give your child the opportunity to be creative. The ideal choice would be joint modeling, drawing, designing.

Doing everything to prevent vulnerable resentment and a tendency to self-flagellation, it is necessary to remember the age of the child. It is better to work with the mind of the baby in the preschool period of his life. In this way, possible disappointments that always arise in touchy children can be prevented.

Mistakes of parents

Some adults, without realizing it, have been nurturing complexes in their own children for years. This happens due to the fact that they raise them through the prism of their own unfulfilled desires. After that they are verysurprised that the child became touchy. You can’t do this with kids, because they are separate individuals with their own desires and a different character. This attitude contributes to the accumulation of resentment in the child, which is later expressed on all the people around him.

Due to the mistakes of his parents, he passes into adulthood with the negativity that has been gathering in his soul for years. Such a person is offended by any unpleasant event, reinforcing his complexes even more. If you do not overcome them in childhood, it will be much more difficult to do it in the future.

Feelings of offended children

A child offended by something will perceive the people around him and the events taking place inadequately. He tends to consider himself deprived and underestimated. From a positive point of view, one can single out the fact that he always expects an exceptionally good attitude towards himself. At the same time, the behavior of the child will in every possible way demonstrate the expectation of approval, support and recognition. The negative side of this perception is that such children constantly consider themselves underestimated by others. A whiny and touchy child will always be in a downcast, dissatisfied state.

Having received approval a hundred times and once faced with misunderstanding, the baby will experience a strong sense of resentment. It will seem to him that the world is unfair to him, and people do not understand. Such an attitude towards others will complicate all aspects of the future life of the child. That is why parents should eradicate his misperceptions in childhood.

Atmosphere in the family

When a child is very touchy, not every parent knows what to do. Someone begins to blame him, and some send the baby for sessions to a psychologist. However, first of all, the problem must be sought within the family. The family atmosphere has a strong influence on the child. It is from his parents that he takes the basic habits, which then form his character. If it is customary in the family to take offense at each other for the slightest trifles, the child will also treat his friends, and then his partner in life.

Constant conversations with the baby about the futility of resentment will only give a temporary result. Children rarely listen to the words of their parents if they run counter to their actions. Therefore, it is so important to create a friendly atmosphere in the family. Looking at how adults share their experiences, trust and love each other, the child will project the same behavior in his life. In this case, there will be no room for resentment in it.