Wedding - what kind of ceremony is this? What is the sacrament of marriage? Wedding rules in the Orthodox Church

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

The wedding ceremony has rather ancient roots, it originates from the 9th-10th centuries and has not only beautiful content, but also carries a deep meaning. A wedding is a ceremony that unites a man and a woman before God in eternal love and fidelity, turning marriage into a sacrament related to spiritual existence.

The essence of the wedding

In the modern world, unfortunately, many people misinterpret the very essence of the sacrament and treat this church rite as a fashionable and beautiful event that can brighten up the solemn day of marriage. Without even thinking about the fact that the wedding is not a simple formality. Only those people who believe in the eternity of marriage on earth and in heaven should take this step. And such a decision can be made only with mutual consent, as a conscious and well-considered act. It should not be forgotten that the rite refers to one of the seven sacraments, as a result of which the grace of the Holy Spirit is transferred to a person, and this happens in an invisible way.

Wedding Rules

If everythingbut the relationship in a couple is time-tested, feelings are deep, and the desire to perform the ceremony is well balanced, then it is worth familiarizing yourself with the conditions without which a wedding in the Orthodox Church is impossible. The rules are binding:

1. The basis for the wedding is a marriage certificate.
2. The main role in the family is assigned to the husband, who must love his wife selflessly. And the wife must obey her husband of her own free will.

It is the responsibility of the husband to keep the family connected with the church. Debunking is allowed only in the most urgent situations, for example, when one of the spouses is unfaithful or in case of mental illness. By the way, the latter can also cause a refusal to marry.

In ancient times, there was such a custom when young people petitioned the priest for a wedding, he announced this at the national assembly, and only after the lapse of time, if there were no people who could report the impossibility of marriage, the ceremony was performed.

The total number of weddings in a person's life cannot exceed three times.

Only baptized young people and their witnesses are allowed to the ceremony, each must have a pectoral cross.

If someone from the wedding does not know whether he was baptized or not, you must definitely discuss this issue with the priest. As a rule, a positive answer is possible with the consent of the young to give birth and raise children, following the Orthodox traditions.

Age restrictions: Men must be at least 18 and women must be at least 16.

Wedding is primordiallyChristian rite, therefore people who profess another religion (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc.), as well as atheists are not allowed to it.

Wedding is prohibited if the bride and groom are related, even in the fourth generation. And marriage between godparents and godchildren is undesirable.

If one of the newlyweds has a side marriage, the wedding is prohibited.

But circumstances such as the wife's pregnancy, or if the newlyweds do not have parental blessings, are not a reason to refuse a wedding.

When can I get married?

According to the Orthodox calendar, weddings can be held throughout the year, with the exception of the days of large fasts - Christmas (from November 28 to January 6), Great (seven weeks before Easter), Peter's Lent (from the second Monday after Trinity to 12 July), Assumption (from August 14 to 27), Maslenitsa, on the eve of all major church holidays. Wedding ceremonies are held on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. But, according to popular beliefs, Wednesday and Friday are not suitable for performing the sacrament. It's also better to avoid getting married on the 13th.

But the happiest periods for marriage are considered to be the periods after the Intercession in the fall, from Epiphany to Maslenitsa in winter, between Petrov and Assumption Lent in summer, on Krasnaya Gorka in spring.

Many couples want to get married on the day of the official registration of marriage, but it can not be called right. Priests, as a rule, dissuade young people fromsuch hasty actions. It is best when couples get married on their wedding anniversary or after the birth of children. The later this happens, the more conscious this act will be. The year of the wedding will be a memorable event that will testify to the sincerity of feelings and confidence in family ties.

Preparing for the wedding

The process of preparing for such a ritual as a wedding in the Orthodox Church is of particular importance. The rules are also there.

The very first thing to do is to decide on the church and the priest who will conduct the ceremony. This is a rather responsible task, since the choice must be made with the soul. Young people in the temple should be comfortable and calm, only in this way the whole process will have a really great meaning. Whether it will be a small church or a majestic cathedral, depends primarily on the wishes of the young, absolutely the whole atmosphere of the holy place should harmoniously fit not only into the spiritual essence of the ceremony, but also meet the state of mind of a young couple who decided to tie their fate forever.

It is also necessary to talk with the priest, discuss not only organizational issues, but also look at each other, find a common language - this is also very important for the ceremony. Many priests pay special attention to the conversation with the newlyweds, sometimes they may advise to postpone the procedure or wait, then the priest's advice should be heeded.

More importantly, not all priests have the right to conduct a wedding ceremony,for example, it is forbidden to do this for those who have been tonsured monks and are under canonical prohibitions. Sometimes a ceremony, at the request of a young couple, can be performed by a clergyman from another church or cathedral, if, for example, he is their spiritual father.

Organizational moments of the ceremony

It is necessary to agree with the priest the date and time for which the Orthodox wedding is scheduled. The rules of church life oblige this. Sometimes several couples can get married in the church at the same time, this nuance also needs to be discussed. You should worry if several operators will take photos and videos at the wedding, so that there is no turmoil, and this does not spoil the whole ceremony.

A week before the wedding, young people should begin fasting: do not eat meat, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, refrain from marital intimacy. Before the wedding, the newlyweds must attend worship, confess and take communion.

It is also necessary to think in advance about buying icons of the Savior and the Mother of God, which must be consecrated, wedding rings, which must be given to the priest before the ceremony, candles, two white towels and four handkerchiefs. It should be noted that according to church canons, rings should be bought for the groom from gold, for the bride from silver. As a rule, the acquisition of all necessary attributes is entrusted to witnesses.

The tradition of using icons in the wedding ceremony also has ancient historical roots. Since ancient times, parents have blessed their children with the use of holy icons: a son - Christ the Savior, a daughter - the Mother of God, thus giving guidance on the true path.

It is customary to leave a reward for the wedding ceremony, you should also ask the priest about money. If the couple does not have the financial ability to pay the full amount, you can talk about it. Sometimes the amount is not disclosed at all, and the priest offers to give alms to the church, in the amount that is possible for the newlyweds.

Choosing an outfit for the bride

As for the bride's wedding dress, which she will wear to the wedding in the Orthodox Church, the rules are as follows:

• dress should not be very tight or short, but too puffy and chic outfits will not work either;
• shoulders, décolleté or arms above the elbows should never be bare;
• you can use a cape that will cover exposed parts of the body;
• outfit must be white or other pale colors;
• the head must be covered, for this a scarf or veil is used;
• do not use too bright makeup and rich perfume;
• instead of a wedding bouquet, the bride should have a wedding candle in her hands.

You should also take care of shoes in advance, shoes with a closed front with low heels are best, because the wedding ceremony lasts about an hour, the bride should feel comfortable forall this time.

There is a very interesting belief. The bride's dress must have a long train. According to popular legend, the longer the train is, the more time the young will be together. If the train is not provided in the outfit, it can be attached only for the duration of the wedding.

Also, when a wedding takes place in an Orthodox church, the rules apply to the appearance of all guests present. Women should be in dresses or skirts with their knees covered, they should also not bare their necklines and arms, they should cover their heads with a scarf or scarf. At the wedding ceremony, the presence of all wedding guests is not necessary, these can be people who really believe in the sacrament of the ceremony and are sincere in this process. To comply with the formalities, it is better not to attend such events, but to come only to the banquet.

Wedding ceremony

Wedding always begins only after the service. The ceremony consists of two stages: the first is the betrothal, the wedding is the second stage. In the past they were separated by time. After the betrothal, the couple could part if there were reasons for that, the wedding could take place only if the feelings were strong and sincere, because the husband and wife chose each other not only for earthly life, but forever. In the modern rite, both components of the ceremony take place on the same day.

Betrothal

Betrothal takes place at the entrance to the church. The bride stands to the left of the groom. The priest reads a prayer, after which he blesses the couple three times andgives them lighted candles. Again he reads a prayer and betroths the young with rings. The rings are changed from the young hand to the bride’s hand three times, as a result, the groom’s gold ring remains on the young woman’s hand, and her silver ring on the future husband’s finger. Only now the couple can call themselves the bride and groom.

Wedding

The priest leads the couple into the temple and places them on a white towel in front of the lectern. A man and a woman are asked if they came here of their own free will, if there are any obstacles to marriage. Witnesses take crowns in their hands and hold them over the heads of the bride and groom. It should be noted here that this is not so easy to do, especially if the witnesses are short and the young ones are tall, and the ceremony time is not less than forty minutes in city churches, and if the ceremony is held in a monastery, then more than an hour. Therefore, it is desirable to choose witnesses higher. After the prayers have been read, the young people are given a cup of wine, which they must drink three times as a symbol of the fact that from now on everything in the pair will be shared equally - both happiness and bitterness.

The bride should be warned: while drinking from a cup of wine, a situation may arise when the veil is very close to the candle and ignition occurs. To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to take care of the length of the veil in advance, which should not be too large.

The hands of the newlyweds are tied with a white towel and they are circled around the lectern three times. At this time, the church choir sings. The father brings the couple to the Royal Doors of the altar and reads the edification for eternal life together. After the wedding, all the guests begin to congratulate the newlyweds, andthe bells ring out, signaling the birth of a young family.

If young people have a desire to capture the wedding for a long memory, photo and video shooting can be done with the permission of the priest. It is best to agree on exactly where the operator should be, how it is better for him to stand or move. Usually churches and cathedrals have rather specific lighting, therefore, in order not to upset the quality of the shooting later, it is advisable to contact a good specialist. There are times when photography is strictly prohibited, then in order for a memorable event to remain in the family archives, you can take photos against the backdrop of a cathedral or temple.

The wedding on the kingdom

There is another ancient custom that should be mentioned in order to bring some historical clarity - the crowning of the kingdom. This ceremony was performed during the coronation ceremony of monarchs, and Ivan the Terrible was the first to start it. The crown, which was used at the same time, went down in history under the well-known name - Monomakh's hat. Barmas, an orb and a scepter were obligatory attributes of the action. And the process itself had a sacred content, the main essence of which was the sacrament of chrismation. But this ceremony has nothing to do with marriage.