How to raise happy children: parenting methods, tips and tricks for parents, consultation with a child psychologist

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Each parent wants the best for their child, strives to raise him as a worthy person. But how to do that? Many people ask the question: "How to raise happy children?" What needs to be given to a child, what needs to be laid in him from childhood, so that he grows up and can say to himself: "I am a happy person!"? Let's figure it out together.

A happy child - what is he like?

To understand how to raise a happy child, you need to define what a happy child is:

• he feels loved forever, no matter what he does;
• knows he will always be protected;
• participates in solving important issues, they are interested in his opinion;
• feels unique and accepted for who he is;
• optimistic and joyful;
• knows his place in the peer group, respects himself;
• knows that his parentshappy too.

Cultivating happiness: where to start?

The upbringing of a child begins with the family, or rather with the parents themselves. It depends on them what their child will become in adulthood, and even what he will bring to the upbringing of his children.

If only I knew for sure how to raise a successful and happy child. Our advice will help you in this matter:

1. Start with yourself. No wonder the phrase "If you want to make the world a better place - start with yourself!" is still very popular. Our children are a direct reflection of ourselves. Very often you can see that, growing up, children bring the behavior of their parents into their daily lives. Therefore, if you want to see your children happy, become one yourself. Enjoy the new day, look for beauty in everything, take care of your he alth and mood, show your child that this life is beautiful in all its manifestations.
2. Stable emotional state. It is very important not to take it out on family members for any reason. As a mother, you must keep the emotional bar of the whole family. Your child takes an example from you, you should never forget about it. Therefore, if you are overtaken by any problems, worries or a bad mood, try not to throw them out on others, but to level out negative manifestations.
3. Child behavior. Always watch for changes in your child's behavior. Children should be like an open book to us. And if the child began to misbehave, then this is no accident. All processes in life are determined. BUTit means that the child wants to show you something. It is worth understanding in detail the reasons for this behavior before taking action.

Author's opinion: Jean Ledloff

People often turn to books in search of answers. Many works provide countless tips for raising children. However, are they all so valuable and is it worth listening to them? Let's analyze the book "How to Raise a Happy Child" by Jean Ledloff.

This book not only teaches parents how to properly raise their children, but also reveals the general causes of the troubles of modern society. The author of the book saw the root of the problems in our world. If you think about it, the causes of all the troubles and misfortunes that haunt modern man lie in the wrong upbringing. We seem to strive to give the child everything he needs, but very often we forget about the most important thing. Do we give the child happiness? Are we good at instilling happiness in our children? It is inherent in each of us, you just need to listen - says Jean Ledloff.

"How to Raise a Happy Child" is a book based on real experience. The author was lucky to meet those people who were able to raise their children happy, and this was the impetus for the birth of this work. The book shows that happiness or misfortune originates in the same place as a new life - from the birth and upbringing of children. If we take the right attitude to the upbringing of our children, we will give them not only psychological well-being in the future, but we will also be able tomake a big contribution to the development of a world without violence and suffering.

Child is a personality

One of the main components of education is the acceptance of the child as a person. That is, this is not just the one you gave birth to, but also a person - the same as you.

It is very important that the child feels that he is loved and accepted for who he is. This will give him strength and self-confidence. After all, you are not trying to change it, make it the way you want, but are working on developing its original qualities.

In this regard, in no case should you hang "labels" on a child. Even for an adult, this is a traumatic situation, and what can we say about the shaky psyche of a child. By constantly telling your kids that they are dirty, fat, stupid, etc., you are pre-programming them to conform to these words. After all, a parent is the first authority for a child, and he subconsciously listens to you.

If you want to raise happy children in a family, then respect everything they say and do. All their wishes and actions must be taken into account. Therefore, it will be right to listen to the opinion of the child, especially in resolving family issues.

From here it also follows that communication with a child should not be built in the "commander - ward" system. It is important to talk to him calmly and peacefully, without quarrels, screams and claims. Believe me, children understand better this way.

Mikhail Labkovsky: the secrets of education

Labkovsky talks about how to raise a happy child in his lectures andseminars. This family psychologist reveals the essence of proper parenting.

First of all, the author draws attention to the fact that the use of the information received at lectures and trainings will bear fruit only if the parents themselves are "psychologically well or at least stable".

Everyone knows that all psychological problems of a person are drawn from childhood. Therefore, the psychologist recommends that you accept your upbringing as it is. Your parents raised you the way they could and saw fit at the time. You cannot fix this. But it is quite possible to avoid the same mistakes in raising your children.

Mikhail Labkovsky also emphasizes the predominance of such concepts as stability, comfort, trust. He believes that in the first place it should feel the child in the family. Make sure that the baby is not afraid of you, show him that his problems are significant to you, and you will help him solve them.

Another important aspect that affects the psychologist is the presence of several children in the family. It is strictly forbidden to tell older children that they are already adults. This is regarded by children as a sign that they are no longer loved. A child will always remain a child for his parents, let him feel it.

Advice for parents

Here are some more tips for those who want to know how to raise happy children.

1. The act and the child. It is always necessary to evaluate or criticize a certain act of the child. Can't be transferredassessment of actions on the whole personality of the child. Instead of "You are bad" you need to say "You did bad".
2. Eye contact. You need to communicate with the child at his level so that he sees your eyes. In no case should you address "from the height of your height".
3. The reaction of parents. The child is always watching your reaction. Based on this, he builds his behavior. Show your child how to properly respond to a particular situation, and this will greatly facilitate his life in the future.
4. Help children. Always accept help from children. Let in the end it doesn’t turn out quite the way you wanted, but the child will feel significant in your life.
5. Self-esteem. To form the correct self-esteem in a child, always show that he will succeed, he will cope with everything. Create situations of success for him to inspire confidence in his abilities.
6. Responsibility. As you grow older, you need to shift the responsibility to the child. For example, if a student does not do his homework, you do not need to do them for him. Make it clear that every action has a result, although not always a pleasant one.
7. Model of behavior. Be a role model for your child. Show him how to properly build relationships with others. In addition, children very often adopt the model of family building and upbringing from their parents.

We alth, happiness and success

In addition to psychological well-being, many parents want financial security for their children. However, the child, in their opinion, must achieve everything himself and notsit on the neck in adults. There is some logic in this. Of course, parents will always help their children, but they themselves must learn to provide for themselves. So, how do you raise a child to be rich, happy, and successful?

To begin with, the child needs to be introduced to the financial side of life. Thus, he will understand what money is, how it is earned and how it should be disposed of.

To do this, you need to talk with your child about money, why they are needed, where they come from and how best to spend them. Do not think that your child will only think about material values. Education should be comprehensive.

After getting acquainted with money, it is desirable to play games related to this side of life. For example, to come up with ways to earn money together, while adjusting the aspirations of the child. Or you can play business-related board games.

Don't limit your child's dreams, whatever they may be. Over time, the child himself will set the necessary priorities, but for now the main thing is not to discourage him from achieving his goals.

Expert view: Ekaterina Buslova

Another author who writes about how to raise a happy child is Ekaterina Busslova. This is a well-known child and family psychologist who studies parent-child relationships.

The book is written as if from the perspective of a child who addresses his parents. With this technique, the author shows that after reading the book, you will be able to better understand your baby.

All informationpresented in the form of prompts for parents.

Hint-keys

Ekaterina Buslova gives 9 tips for parents in her book "How to Raise a Happy Child":

• Key 1: "Explain different things to me".
• Key 2nd: "Know how to tell me no".
• Key 3rd: "Talk to me".
• Key 4: "Let me make mistakes".
• Key 5: "Praise me for good things".
• Key 6: "Tell me you love me".
• Key 7: "Laugh and have fun with me".
• Key 8: "Tell me about different things".
• Key 9: "Show me some respect".

Should children be spoiled?

Many parents believe that in order to raise a happy child, he must be pampered both financially and emotionally. After all, it is not known how many more trials will be on his life path, and in childhood you can indulge. Others, on the contrary, are too strict with their kids, thus preparing them for the harsh reality of life.

But how to raise a happy child? “Pampering cannot be controlled” - here each parent puts a comma where he sees fit. However, the golden mean is important in everything. You can’t be too strict with your children, but there’s no point in spoiling either. It will be much more constructive to explain to the child every decision made about the next desire of your child.

MethodRaising Happy Children

Psychologists have formulated an approximate methodology for raising children to be happy.

The first thing parents need to do is pay attention to the development of their children: read books with them, talk, explain, play educational games. Up to 5 years, children need to develop attention, memory, thinking, perception and speech. Well-developed mental functions will be the key to success in the future.

Next, we form the child's motivation to achieve the goals. To begin with, the "carrot and stick" technique is used - first you do your homework, then we go to the park.

It is also important to encourage curiosity. If the child wants to try everything at once, let him do it, and then help him choose what he still wants to do.

Optimistic Child

Optimists are people with a positive attitude to life, they evaluate everything through the prism of the good. Such individuals become successful and happy. But how do you raise kids to be happy optimists?

1. Make time for simple, friendly, warm interactions with your child.
2. Keep instructions and demands to a minimum.
3. Let your child be independent.
4. Don't say the word "no", it only expresses a negative attitude.
5. More often look for reasons to praise your child and be happy for him.
6. Don't compare your children to others.
7. Let children make mistakes and help themcorrection.
8. Don't deprive a child of childhood in pursuit of standards.
9. Cooperate with your child.

Child psychologist consultation

If parents themselves can not cope with the upbringing of their children, then it would be advisable to turn to a child psychologist. And don't be ashamed of it, it's quite normal! On the contrary, your commitment to raising your children right is commendable.

At a consultation, a psychologist will help you understand your behavior patterns, possible problems in the system of child-parent relationships. Also, the specialist will be able to effectively adjust your methods of raising children.