Child punishment. For what and how can children be punished? Education without punishment

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

There are no parents who would not want to live with their children in complete understanding. Many mothers and fathers are wondering how to raise a child without screaming and punishment. Let's try to figure out why this does not always work out for us, and find out what needs to be done so that a peaceful and calm atmosphere reigns in our home.

According to psychologists, parents often fail to achieve anything with words, because they use the wrong method of education. Also, experts note that the temperament of the baby also plays a big role in this matter. Of course, in raising a child, there can be no advice that would be equally suitable for each individual family. However, the basic rules, following which you can build the right relationship, you should know.

Age crises in children

Sometimes parents misunderstand the reasons for their children's misbehavior. Moms and dads think they're doing the wrong thing, contrary toprohibition and spite. It turns out that the cause of whims and tantrums in many cases is the crisis of age, which marks the main stages of growing up a child.

Stages of growing up of minor children:

1. From two to four years old. This is the age when the child first begins to show his character. He wants to be more independent than his parents allow. Avoiding screaming and punishment at this age is easy enough.
2. Seven years. At this age, children in many matters become independent of their mothers and fathers. The difficulty lies in the fact that at the age of seven, a child may have authorities in addition to his parents.
3. Adolescence. Psychologists consider this period one of the most difficult in the life of every person.

The main rules of pedagogy

• First of all, it should be noted that you can not put pressure on your young children with authority and try in every possible way to restrain their independence. This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can raise a fairly obedient child. But on the other hand, it also threatens that in adulthood he will not be able to take responsibility for his actions. Relations between parents and children should be built on the principle of partnership.
• Do not demand obedience from the child in the form of ultimatums and orders. It is much more correct to present your requests in the form of wishes.
• Praise your child more often for good deeds.
• Never raise your voice in a conversation with a baby, do not lose your temper andtake it easy.
• Remember that you are an authority on children. Always be a positive example for them. Toddlers see an ideal in their parents and carefully observe how they behave in the family circle and among strangers. Before you reprimand your child for breaking any rules, make sure you don't break them either.

Learning to punish children correctly

Some parents believe that a naughty child cannot be brought up without punishment and shouting. They are sure that this is one of the components of the pedagogical process. In this case, moms and dads must clearly adhere to the limits of punishment. They should understand that the goal of education in no case should be revenge, and follow some rules:

• There should be absolutely no violence in a relationship with a child. Even light spanking should be avoided, supposedly as a joke.
• The demands of parents must always be consistent. It is impossible at different times to treat the same misconduct of a child differently.
• The baby should know that disobedience will lead to bad consequences.
• You need to punish immediately after the misconduct. Measures taken later will not be well received and will lose their effectiveness.
• The punishment of children in the family should be temporary.
• A bad deed should be discussed alone with a child.
• You can't insult or label your baby. It is the specific act that is to be condemned, not the child's personality.
• Don't remind children of their past misdeeds. Discussingpunishing a child, talking to him only about what he was guilty of now.

Spanking or not for a 2 year old?

It is especially necessary to deal with the punishment of a child under the age of three. To scold the baby or not, what to do with a naughty baby? Some parents, without hesitation, use physical force: put them in a corner or slap on the pope. Other adults prefer to exert moral pressure on the child, for example, they refuse to read to the baby before bed or do not let them watch a cartoon.

A huge amount of work has been written about the methods of pedagogy, but parents still constantly return to the same question: is it possible to spank a child? Some psychologists are convinced that if parents do not abuse physical punishment, and if they do not scare the child too much, then sometimes this method can still be used.

The fact is that a child older than two years is already beginning to realize that in some situations he is doing wrong. But at the same time, he cannot always stop his bad behavior. Children of this age sometimes test the boundaries of what is permitted. They have not yet learned how to navigate our world well and sometimes find out how far their parents will allow them to go in whims and pampering. In this case, mom or dad should use those measures of punishment for the child that will stop him and show a clear line.

Most experts agree that before a child reaches the age of two, punish and scoldit doesn't make any sense. Until this age, such behavior of parents may not be regarded by the baby as they would like. Such a child, when put in a corner, thinks that he is bad, so mom and dad do not like him. He can see the consequences of his bad behavior (broken plate, soiled or broken thing), but still does not fully understand that this happened precisely because of him.

It is very important at an early age to teach a child to handle things around him correctly by setting specific prohibitions. At the same time, you should not go into details that the baby is unlikely to understand.

How to raise kids under three?

This age is often characterized by children imaginary playful friends. By shifting the blame for doing bad deeds to others, the child feels more confident. Parents in this case need to figure out why their baby chose this behavior model. You need to try to discuss the situation with the baby and help him fix it. Children who are not afraid of the judgment and anger of their parents, as a rule, freely tell them why they acted badly.

Closer to the age of three, babies want to feel more independent from their parents. It is then that they begin to act contrary to mom and dad. Punishing a three-year-old is not worth it, because you are unlikely to achieve obedience. The child, in response to the use of force, will resist even more actively. Psychologists recommend treating the pranks and whims of three-year-olds with the knowledge that over time such behavior will come to naught.

Many experts are convinced that parents, when choosing a method of punishing children from two to three years old, should be clearly aware of what result they want to achieve. Physical punishment of children will not have a lasting effect. To help the child realize his guilt and correct himself, you need to calmly explain to him why those around him were upset by his act. Learn to be attentive to the little man, to hear him. This method will be the best "punishment".

Pedagogical measures

Educators classify punishments as follows:

• ignore;
• explanatory talk;
• natural punishment of a child;
• symbolic punishment.

Ignoring is one of the most effective methods. At the same time, it must be used extremely carefully and in case of serious misconduct, so as not to undermine the authority of the parents. Psychologists note that when the baby fulfills the requirement of mom or dad, then they must certainly caress him. It is very important to understand that parents should always remain friends whom he can trust in a difficult moment for him.

If you wondered how to raise a child without screaming and punishment, then spend explanatory conversations with the baby more often. You need to talk with a guilty child in a calm and restrained atmosphere. Parents should try to find out from the baby why he did this, and explain to him in an accessible way why this should not be done. This measure of punishment allows you to build a trusting relationship between adults andchildren, as well as find a common language. Speaking without shouting and notations, you can achieve excellent results from the conversation.

Natural punishment occurs when the very act of the child entails retribution. In this case, it is enough to simply remind the baby that he was warned about the consequences.

Symbolic punishment of a child is a restriction of the child's actions (to stand in the corner, not to watch your favorite cartoon).

Why are children punished?

To avoid understatement in this matter, you need to agree in advance with the children what can and cannot be done. The child should be introduced to the course of prohibitions, which, in turn, must be justified by an adult. If the kid has committed an act, but it has not yet been on the list of prohibitions, then the parent will have to refrain from punishing.

When is it wrong to punish?

You need to understand that each situation is individual, so you can not act in haste. Even if the child has committed a rash act, in some cases it is still not worth punishing him. We are talking about the following situations:

• before bedtime;
• during illness;
• when baby eats;
• during the game;
• if the baby is now in a period of rehabilitation from a previously received physical or mental injury;
• when a child made a mistake but sincerely tried to avoid it;
• if the adult is upset and in a bad mood.

Rewarding and punishing children

It is believed that it is the reward and punishmentare the only effective methods of managing people. The purpose of these actions in relation to children is to develop a conditioned reflex. So, for the right behavior, the baby receives encouragement, for the wrong one - punishment.

There are these types of punishments for children:

• fair,
• unfair.

Fair is the measure of influence following the violation of the rules that the parents and the child discussed earlier. If the baby is punished unfairly, then as a result he receives a very strong resentment, and his parents - a deep sense of guilt. We are talking about situations in which there is a misunderstanding of the meaning of punishment. Therefore, moms and dads should be as specific as possible about their requirements for the child.

Also, parents often unfairly punish their children due to the influence of any situations that are not directly related to the behavior of the kids. Adults must learn to control their psycho-emotional state. This will keep the children from getting confused by the inconsistent behavior of their parents.

The most tragic, according to psychologists, is the situation when a child is punished because he is unloved. If parents have found the strength to admit this, then they can try to correct the situation. Relations with children of such parents should be built on a sense of duty.

Educators never tire of repeating that the main task of moms and dads is to raise their children with minimal psychological trauma.

Methods of encouraging a child

The method of rewarding the child for good behavior is selectedbased on his age. So, the younger the baby, the more tangible the encouragement should be for him. You can give the child a new toy that he has long wanted, or play with him longer. Older children can be encouraged to go to the circus or entertainment complex next weekend as an endorsement. Older guys have a better sense of time, so they will perceive this award correctly.

Methods of punishment

When choosing methods of punishing a child, one must also proceed from his age:

1. Insulation. If the child is guilty, he is either put in a corner or left in the room. There should be no entertainment nearby so that the baby can calmly consider his misconduct and realize guilt. The time of this punishment is very simple to calculate: how old is the child, how many minutes should he be isolated.
2. Deprivation of pleasure. If a naughty child has committed an impartial act, then as a punishment it would be appropriate to deprive him of sweets or his favorite toy for a while.
3. Punishment of a child by a stranger. This method is very efficient. Guys take criticism from strangers to heart, so you can ask a stranger to talk about the dangers of bad behavior.
4. Scream. This method should be used only in situations dangerous to the he alth of the child. You can yell at the baby so that he stops the dangerous action. In other cases, this is not necessary. The kid, most likely, will not understand what the essence of parental claims is, but the style of such behavior will learn perfectly andwill apply to your address.
5. Severity. Some parents need only take a stern look at the child, as he already begins to reflect on his behavior. Excessive severity leads to the fact that the baby begins to lie in order to avoid punishment.

Every parent is convinced from their own experience that raising a child is one of the most difficult missions in a person's life. If adults have the knowledge of how to do it right, then it will be much easier for them to raise a baby in mutual understanding and love.