The child is crying in the kindergarten: what to do? Komarovsky: adaptation of the child in kindergarten. Psychologist's advice

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Few children have their first visit to kindergarten without tears. But if for some adaptation to a preschool institution passes without a trace and literally after a week or two the child calmly remains for daytime sleep, then for others this process drags on for a long time, and constant crying alternates with endless illnesses. Why is the child crying in the kindergarten? What to do? Komarovsky E. O. - a pediatrician, author of popular books and TV shows about children's he alth - gives a detailed explanation of how to properly solve these problems without harming the child and family. Read more about this in our article.

Why the child does not want to go to kindergarten

Most children start kindergarten at the age of two or three. The period of adaptation to the garden is often accompanied by crying or tantrums. Here you need to figure out why the child does not want to go to kindergarten, and help him overcome this barrier.

The main reason for a negative attitude to kindergarten in a child is connected with separation from parents. It turns out like thisthat until the age of three, the baby was inextricably linked with his mother, and suddenly he was left in an unfamiliar environment, surrounded by strangers. At the same time, they also require him to eat and perform a number of actions that he cannot do under stress. His familiar world, familiar from childhood, turns upside down, and tears in this case will be inevitable.

So, there are six main reasons why a child does not want to go to kindergarten:

1. He does not want to leave his mother (overprotective).
2. Afraid they won't pick him up from kindergarten.
3. Fears the team and the new institution.
4. Afraid of the teacher.
5. He gets bullied in the garden.
6. Baby feels lonely in kindergarten.

Another thing is that children, like adults, are also different and do not react in the same way to the situation. Someone quickly adapts to a new team, while someone cannot join it even after years of communication. In this situation, parents need to prepare the child for separation in advance so that tears during parting do not spill over into hysterics for several hours.

What to do if a child cries in kindergarten?

All causes of crying in children during the period of adaptation to kindergarten are considered quite normal. For the most part, during the first hour, children calm down. The task of parents is to help the baby learn to cope with emotions on their own and try to find out from him why the child is crying in the kindergarten.

What to do, Komarovsky explains as follows:

1. To minimize stress, getting used to kindergarten should be gradual. The worst option is when the mother takes the child to the kindergarten in the morning, leaves him there crying for the whole day, and she goes to work safely. It is absolutely not recommended to do so. Competent and correct adaptation suggests that the time spent in the garden should be increased gradually: first by 2 hours, then until the afternoon nap, then until dinner. Moreover, each subsequent stage should begin only after successfully overcoming the previous one. If a child in the garden does not have breakfast, then leaving him until the afternoon nap is unwise.
2. Expand your social circle. It is advisable to start getting to know the children attending the same group even before entering the kindergarten. So the child will have the first friends, and psychologically it will be easier for him in the garden, knowing that Masha or Vanya also go to him. Out-of-school socializing is also a great immunity workout.
3. Talk to your child. Important: every day you should definitely ask the baby how his day went, what he learned new today, what he ate, etc. This will allow you to quickly cope with psychological stress. Be sure to praise the baby for his first achievements. If the child is not talking yet, take an interest in his achievements with the teacher, and just praise the baby for them.

These simple steps are actually effective and are sure to help manage tears in kindergarten.

Is it worth drivingto the kindergarten if the child cries?

From the point of view of sociology, psychology and pedagogy, kindergarten is considered as a positive factor contributing to the full development of the child and his proper upbringing. Collective life teaches the child to communicate with peers and adults, which, over time, will make it easier for him to study at school and build relationships with management and work colleagues.

Timely preparation of the child for kindergarten begins a few months before the planned event, but even in this case there may be problems with adaptation. The easiest way to get used to a new team is children with a high degree of adaptation, for whom a change of scenery does not cause much discomfort. It is more difficult for kids with a low degree of adaptation. They are often referred to by the term "non-Sadikov child". What should the parents of such children do? Is it worth taking a child to kindergarten if he cries?

The answer to the last question parents must give themselves. An important role is also played by how often the baby is sick. Usually, in children with low adaptation, immunity is sharply reduced, so they are more susceptible to various diseases. If a mother can afford to stay at home with her child, then she may well make such a decision for herself. But it should be borne in mind that, as a rule, such children find it difficult to get used not only to kindergarten, but also to the team at school.

Adaptation of a child in kindergarten: advice from a psychologist

The topic of children's adaptation to kindergarten is considered very common amongpsychologists. And this question is really very serious, because the subsequent attitude of the child to school depends on it.

What should be the adaptation of the child in kindergarten? The psychologist's advice boils down to the following list of recommendations:

1. The optimal age for the first visit to kindergarten is from 2 to 3 years. You should get acquainted with the new team before the well-known "crisis of three years" begins.
2. You can't scold a child for crying in kindergarten and not wanting to visit it. The kid just expresses his emotions, and punishing, the mother only develops a sense of guilt in him.
3. Try to go on a tour before visiting the kindergarten, get to know the group, the children, the teacher.
4. Play with your child in kindergarten. Let the dolls be educators and children in kindergarten. Show your child with an example how fun and interesting it can be.
5. Adaptation of the child in the garden can be more successful if another member of your family, for example, dad or grandmother, that is, the one to whom he is emotionally less attached, will take the child away.

Try to do everything possible so that the addiction goes as gently as possible for the baby and does not violate his fragile childish psyche.

Preparing a child for kindergarten

According to Dr. Komarovsky, a change in a child's familiar environment almost always causes him stress. To avoid this, you must follow simple rules that will preparechild to life in a team.

Preparing a child for kindergarten consists of several stages:

1. Period of psychological adaptation. Preparing for a trip to kindergarten should begin about 3-4 months before the scheduled date. In a playful way, the child needs to be explained what a kindergarten is, why they go there, what he will do there. At this stage, it is important to interest the child, point out to him the benefits of visiting the garden, tell him how lucky he is that he goes to this particular institution, because many parents would like to send their children there, but they chose him because he is the very best.
2. Preparation of immunity. Try to have a good rest in the summer, give your child more fresh fruits and vegetables, and at least a month before visiting kindergarten, it is advisable to drink a course of vitamins for children attending kindergarten. This will not protect the baby from infection during acute respiratory diseases, but they will flow much easier, without complications to other organs and systems. At the very beginning of the disease, as soon as the child feels unwell, you need to take his kindergarten and start treatment, because in this case even an adapted child can start crying.
3. Compliance with the regime. Regardless of whether the child has already gone to kindergarten or is just going to, it is important to adhere to such a sleep and rest regime as in the kindergarten. In this case, the baby, getting into new conditions for him, will feel psychologically more comfortable.
4. Tell your child that kindergarten teachers will always come to his aid. For example, if he wantsdrink, just ask the teacher about it.

And most importantly, you should never scare your child with kindergarten.

First day of kindergarten

This is the most difficult day in the life of mom and baby. The first day in kindergarten is an anxious and exciting moment, which often determines how easy or difficult adaptation will be.

Turn your first visit to kindergarten into a holiday with the following tips:

1. So that the morning rise does not become an unpleasant surprise for the child, prepare him in advance for the fact that tomorrow he goes to kindergarten.
2. In the evening, prepare clothes and toys that the baby may want to take with him.
3. Better go to bed on time to feel more awake in the morning.
4. Be calm in the morning, as if nothing exciting is happening. The child should not see your experiences.
5. In the kindergarten, the child needs to be helped to undress and bring him to the teacher. No need to sneak away as soon as the baby turns away. The mother herself must explain to the child that she is leaving for work and say that she will definitely return for him. And this is not connected with the fact that the child cries in the kindergarten. What to do, Komarovsky explains by the fact that it is important for a child to know that he will be taken away as soon as he has breakfast or plays.
6. Don't leave the baby on the first day for more than 2 hours.

What should a teacher do if a child cries in the garden?

Much in the adaptation of children to kindergarten depends on the teacher. Heshould, to some extent, be a psychologist who knows firsthand the problems of children in kindergarten. During adaptation, the educator should be in direct contact with the parents. If the baby is crying, he should try to calm the baby. But if the child does not make contact, becomes stubborn and starts crying even louder, at the next meeting he should ask his mother how to influence him. Perhaps the baby has some favorite games that will distract him from tears.

It is important that the kindergarten teacher does not put pressure on the child and does not blackmail him. This is invalid. Threatening that your mother will not come for you, just because you did not eat porridge, is inhumane in the first place. The teacher should become a friend to the child, and then the baby will visit the kindergarten with pleasure.

Baby crying on the way to kindergarten

Typical for many families is the situation when the child starts crying already at home and continues to do so on the way to kindergarten. Not all parents can calmly endure such behavior on the street, and a showdown begins, which often ends in a grandiose hysteria.

Reasons why a child cries, does not want to go to kindergarten and throws tantrums on the way:

• The baby just does not get enough sleep and gets out of bed already without a mood. In this case, try to go to bed early.
• Make enough time to wake up in the morning. No need to immediately get dressed from the bed and run to kindergarten. Let the baby lie in bed for 10-15 minutes,watch cartoons, etc.
• Prepare small gifts for the children or the teacher. You can buy small sweets that the child will distribute to the children after breakfast, cookies, coloring sheets printed on a home printer. Talk about how he goes not just to kindergarten, but will be a magician in it and bring gifts to children.

What to do so that the child does not cry in the kindergarten?

What can parents do to keep their child from crying in kindergarten:

• carry out psychological preparation of the baby 3-4 months before visiting the kindergarten;
• tell your baby more often about the benefits of gardening, for example, many kids like to hear that they have become adults;
• on the first day in kindergarten, do not leave him for more than 2 hours;
• allow to take a toy from home (only not too expensive);
• clearly specify the time frame when mom will pick him up, for example, after breakfast, after lunch or after a walk;
• talk to your child and ask him about the past day each time;
• don't be nervous and don't show this to your child, no matter how hard it is for you.

Common parenting mistakes

Most often, parents make the following mistakes in adapting their child to kindergarten:

1. Stop adapting right away if the baby didn't cry the first day in kindergarten. The kid can quite well endure a one-time separation from his mother, but at the same time, situations are not rare when on the third day in the kindergartenthe baby is crying because he was immediately left for the whole day.
2. They suddenly leave without saying goodbye. For a child, this can cause the most stress.
3. The child is being blackmailed by the kindergarten.
4. Some parents are manipulated if their child cries in kindergarten. What to do, Komarovsky explains by the fact that it is not worth succumbing to children's whims or tantrums. Letting your baby stay at home today won't stop him from crying tomorrow or the day after.

If parents see that it is difficult for a child to adapt to kindergarten, and they do not know how to help the baby, they should contact a psychologist. Consulting parents in kindergarten will help develop a set of actions, thanks to which the baby will gradually get used to life in a team. However, all this will be effective only if the parents are determined and interested in taking their child to kindergarten and will not shy away from following the psychologist's advice as soon as possible.