Negative emotions people express in relation to other persons in different ways. Someone simply speaks badly about some person behind his back, and someone chooses a harsher and more unpleasant method of influence - psychological violence. Statistics show that the victim most often is not an adult, but a child. Minors are subjected to psychological violence in schools, on the street, at home. This is a very serious problem, because because of it, children's emotional behavior and development are disturbed. They develop fears.
What is psychological abuse
Psychological violence is also called emotional. This term refers to the periodic or constant insult of the child with some unpleasant words, the humiliation of his human dignity, the utterance of threats. Often, parents have formed the desired image of children. To achieve itmothers and fathers make such demands to their children that they are not able to fulfill due to age opportunities. This also applies to psychological abuse.
Negative attitude towards a child has very serious consequences. He ceases to be happy. He begins to suffer from his own feelings. The child withdraws into himself, loses confidence in the people around him. In the future, all this leads to problems in building relationships. Another negative consequence is low self-esteem. For example, peers at school may call a child scary, stupid. With such thoughts of himself, he grows further.
Classification of the problem into forms
What can be considered psychological abuse of a child? Experts identify several forms of this problem. Here are the main ones:
- Degradation. With this form, children or adults influence a particular child with rude words, curses, name-calling, ridicule him in front of other people.
- Ignoring. This form of violence is most often observed on the part of adults - parents. They do not pay attention to their child, they are not interested in his successes and achievements. He does not feel affection, care, love. Naturally, such an attitude depresses the child.
- Repulsion. This behavioral trait is manifested by the fact that parents push their child away, constantly drive him away, that is, make it clear that they do not need him.
- Terrorization. In this form of abuse, the child is constantly threatened by something. To himthreaten, make demands that are impossible at this age stage.
In various books on parenting, articles on psychological abuse of children, special attention is paid to isolation. This is another form of the problem. Its essence lies in various prohibitions (for example, you can’t communicate with peers, go for a walk with them). Sometimes, during isolation, parents resort to additional physical violence - they lock the child alone in an apartment, room, and sometimes even in a closet, beat him if he violates the prohibitions.
Signs of psychological abuse
When a child becomes a victim of psychological abuse, this can be guessed from some of the characteristics of behavior. The following signs are observed:
- the child develops anxiety, excessive anxiety;
- appetite is disturbed;
- feeling depressed;
- self-esteem goes down;
- minor avoids peers, adults, tends to retire;
- sometimes, due to psychological abuse, a child develops such a character trait as aggressiveness;
- due to negative emotions, sleep is disturbed;
- the child begins to pay less attention to studies, gets poor grades at school;
- Constant threats, insults, bullying from peers or adults lead to suicide attempts.
Already in childhood, due to psychological abuse, he alth problems arise. Delayed physical and mentaldevelopment, enuresis, nervous tic, obesity occurs. Emotional abuse affects the brain. This eventually causes a predisposition to various diseases:
- to coronary heart disease;
- chronic fatigue syndrome;
- oncological diseases, etc.
Domestic violence and advice to parents
Psychological violence in the family over a child happens for various reasons. First, parents may simply not love their child. It's terrifying. This reason simply does not fit in the head. How can you not love your own child, because he is the future of parents. Abusive moms and dads need to be talked to. Relatives also need help. If the parents do not come to their senses, then it is best for the child to live, for example, with his grandmother.
Another common reason is demands on the child. It is important to remember that you cannot force another person to do something. Demands that are impossible to fulfill or that the child does not like can suppress the will, cause a depressed state.
The commandments of wise parents
There are 4 commandments of wise parents. They can help avoid psychological abuse of a child, because mothers and fathers do not always realize that their upbringing is wrong and leads to negative consequences. First, never try to make the best out of your child. Not all people are the same. Each person is endowed with certain abilities and opportunities.
Second, don't compare your child toother children, do not blame him for not achieving something, like some of his classmates.
Third, do not threaten the child, do not blackmail him. Otherwise, you will cause him only fear, shame. Your child may think that you just don't love him.
Fourthly, do not sort things out with the child in front of witnesses, even if he has done something. It is better to discuss the problem at home, find out the reason. When misbehaving, shame the child, but remember that there should be a measure in everything.
Problem at school
Absolutely any child can become a victim of school bullying. The likelihood of this is greatly increased if he is calm, not too active and sociable. His offenders can be class leaders, aggressive children who have found a victim for self-affirmation or who always strive to be in the spotlight.
A child will always talk about psychological abuse if he trusts his parents. With a secretive nature, lack of trust in the family, the opposite situation is observed. The child does not share his experiences and problems with anyone. It is possible to guess that he became a victim of psychological violence at school. The following nuances indicate the presence of this problem:
- child does not want to go to school;
- he doesn't talk about his classmates;
- his clothes are sometimes torn or dirty;
- child returns home after school depressed.
What to do if a child is being abused while studying
Psychological abuse of children at school is a problem that should be solved by parents together with the class teacher. The teacher, as a rule, is aware of everything that happens in the classroom. You can also talk to the mothers and fathers of the offenders. If a minor has been a victim of abuse for a long time, then the best solution would be to change schools or temporarily transfer to home schooling.
If a child does not want to transfer to another school, then parents should give him some advice on how to deal with ridicule, insults:
- first of all, it must be said that problems do not exist with those who are teased, but with those who do this;
- An effective way to deal with bullies is to show them that their nasty words don't hurt or upset them at all;
- in response to insults of offenders, you can simply laugh (if you demonstrate such behavior every time, then after a while, peers will simply not be interested in “poisoning” their victim).
Responsibility for violence
Psychological abuse is punishable. For example, in a school, a teacher or director can talk to offenders, reprimand them, shame them. Being in such a situation is extremely unpleasant. Such actions often prevent further insults, bullying.
Psychological domestic violence is also punished. Responsibility is established in the FamilyCode, Criminal Code. The Family Code of Russia says that the methods of education should exclude cruel, neglectful treatment, insult and exploitation. If this norm is violated, the child may be removed from the family by the guardianship and guardianship authority in case of a threat to life and he alth, deprivation of parental rights. But how to prove psychological abuse of a child? This problem is solved by the presence of witnesses, the conclusion of a psychologist.
Very scary is the situation in which the emotional impact leads to beatings and murder. Psychological and physical abuse of a child, resulting in death, is a crime for which criminal liability is provided.
Parenting is the hardest thing in the world. It is very important in this process not to resort to violence, listen carefully to the child, respect his opinion, share interests, help make decisions, teach him to listen to other people and seek compromises. It is also important to protect your child from the negative impact of others. If you follow all this, then the child will grow and develop in a favorable environment.