An ill-bred child: signs, causes. How to raise a child?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

The baby's need for love, understanding and care can be expressed in different ways. It can be a direct request (which happens quite rarely) or bad behavior (which is more common).

Good manners are the key to proper upbringing

An ill-mannered child can behave badly, fight, interfere with classes or lessons, shout over caregivers and teachers, or just make noise, not giving parents the opportunity to relax after a hard day's work. As a rule, the parent tries to cope with such a situation, but the more he tries, the worse it gets. Moms and dads very often repeat one rule that sounds like this: he demands attention so much. Of course, your child has many other psychological needs, in addition to increased attention to himself and his "want".

Problem child: what to do?

Let's consider the most important question: how to raise a child and not harm him? Contrary to popular belief, parenting is not a one-a-day purposeful special session when mom and dad sit down next to their son or daughter in the evening and begin to talk about how to communicate and behave. The process of education is what happens in the communication of the child withparents and with other adults in life. It should happen all the time: when dad is watching football, and mom is going for a walk with her friends, or when mom and dad fight and make up. But what to do in such situations? After all, life is sometimes very difficult, relatives are not always in a good mood. Children from preschool age already understand and realize what they are experiencing, and how to respond to these feelings. They learn from their parents how to properly respond to this or that experience, and if mom and dad cannot behave in an exemplary way, then an ill-mannered family member appears.

Definition of an ill-mannered spoiled child

It is known that if a child is considered spoiled, this speaks primarily of his bad manners. As a rule, the baby is emotionally unstable, subject to regular whims and tantrums, never obeys his parents, clearly expresses his egoism, does not know how and does not want to communicate with his peers. It is these children who are ill-mannered and spoiled, they consider themselves the center of the universe and do what they want. There is such a thing as “mind”, many compare it with spoiled, but this is absolutely not the case. After all, you can spoil him only by regularly indulging his whims, buying expensive gifts on demand. And as for the minions, they receive parental love and care in moderation.

Ill-bred child: signs

First of all, these are wild children who live only by their “I want” and perceive the people around them as something that they can use as they want andwhen. In the context of this, a well-bred child is an adequate being and, rather, useful than harmful (after all, as we know, there are children, like a natural disaster). But such, at least, are educated and cultured. Let's look at real examples of a very important question: who is a spoiled, ill-mannered child and how to deal with it?

Examples of ill-bred children

• The kid does not want to share his personal belongings, food, the attention of others. Often uses hysteria on purpose to achieve his goals.
• Heavy dependence on parental care. Such an offspring constantly needs the presence of relatives, no matter how difficult it may be.
• Shows increased claims to food, does not want to eat ordinary food, demands forbidden sweets.
• Constantly dissatisfied with clothes, food, toys, attention. Often refuses to walk.
• Never helps adults with cleaning the apartment, he is convinced that his mother or grandmother is obliged to clean everything for him.
• Constantly rude to adults, and they, in turn, gradually lose respect and cease to be an authority for him. Often, ill-bred children show their whims and disobedience at a party, which makes even parents ashamed. In an effort to attract the attention of adults, he can make noise, interfere with conversation, arrange seizures, and so on.
• Knows how to manipulate adults and with the help of this he achieves his goals. Tantrums, tears, licking can be used, and assault from the side of the offspring can also be traced.
• Doesn't know the word "no". This is the result of permissiveness, and withover time, he will begin to not understand why he is denied.

The reasons for the above signs may be the initially wrong and non-pedagogical approach of the father, mother, grandparents in the eternal question of how to raise a child. Very often there is not enough time for the education of the offspring, and then the adults pay off with expensive gifts.

Uncultured parents and their problems in education

There are also ill-mannered parents who deceive other people, are cunning, pretending, lying and hypocritical in front of their relatives, neighbors and friends. Be sure that the children will see and do exactly the same, repeating all your actions. It is from you that they learn to lie, deceive, behave meanly and unworthily. Such upbringing will not lead to anything good, your children will no longer be respected and loved, they will even be shunned. Such children will not grow up worthy, everything will always not suit them, and they will blame not themselves for this, but the surrounding, evil world.

What can and cannot do?

And there are such individuals of the family who are not able to refuse their beloved child and are foolishly convinced that each restriction will negatively affect the emotional state of the baby. It is necessary to build such a system of education so that the child understands and determines where it is good and where it is bad, where it is possible and where it is not. And also show respect for other people, try to correctly respond to life situations with a hint from parents and be able to control your emotions.

Recommendationspsychologists: how to properly raise a child

Most families are wondering: at what age should you start shaping your child's behavior? It is a well-known fact that it is necessary to educate from birth. Loving and adequate parents are obliged to pay special attention to this fact, since it depends on how your beloved baby will grow up. It is the ill-mannered children in school that cause chaos and anxiety, create discomfort for adequate children, offend the weak and often resort to physical violence.

Basic tips for raising a child

• You need to love the child for who he is, even if sometimes he is naughty and indulges. Trust is the main factor in education. When the baby sees that they believe him, he will strive for prudence, honesty and will not want to upset his parents.
• Experience all the failures and difficulties together, this will show that you are worried about him. Thus, the child learns to pay attention to the problems of other people, help loved ones, he will have a sense of empathy and sympathy.
• It is necessary to communicate and show passion for everything that interests the baby. Then he will be happy to share with you his experiences, impressions, thoughts.
• When your little one wants to help around the house, never refuse. Otherwise, in the future, such an impulse may disappear forever.
• Remember to praise children even when they complete a simple task. Subsequently, they will want to look for solutions in more difficult problems.
• If the child made a mistake, do not rush to scold andpunish him. First you need to find out why he did it and what he wanted to show with his behavior. It is necessary to explain to him that it is not good to do this.

Successes and failures of the baby

• Give your child the opportunity to correct their own mistakes, listen to his explanations. Then he will stop worrying and being afraid.
• For children to grow up organized and confident, parents need to behave the same way. There is no need to rush to reproach for something, but rather first pay attention to your mistakes and actions.
• No matter what the difficulties are, always support the child and help him. This will give self-confidence, strength, thanks to this, the child will have a desire to conquer new heights and achieve the intended goals.

7 mistakes in parenting

Young mothers and fathers make a lot of mistakes, which then negatively affect the physical condition of the offspring and his mental he alth. How to avoid the main mistakes in education, so that an ill-bred child does not appear in the family? This is discussed below.

• Accusations and threats. The method of education through reproaches, threats, intimidation, shame is the main mistake that came to us from the past. The phrase "Shame on you!" are still used. The child feels not only shame for what he has done, but loses all activity, and this kills any subsequent initiative. In this way, you can grow a moral invalid, especially with the popular phrase "We will not love you anymore." After all, forsmall children is a huge shock, hysteria and the desire to do dirty tricks to spite someone.
• Inconsistency and inconsistency in education. From childhood, your baby should be limited by what is permitted. It is wrong to change requirements and prohibitions on a daily basis. The child will become confused and lost in different “possible” and “impossible”. Requirements for children for all family members should be the same. The parent whose parenting position is unfavorable for the baby will receive disrespect in his direction and cease to be authoritative if you do not follow the rules of education.

• Uneven attitude. Quite often, adults transfer all their difficulties and problems to communication with children, which, of course, is wrong. At one point, they kiss them, pamper them, buy everything they ask for. And the very next day they may scream, get angry, or simply not pay attention. Different “possible” and “not” completely depend on the mood of your beloved moms and dads. If you do not want your baby to grow up mentally unstable, control your emotions, do not take out your anger on the kids. After all, regaining trust will be incredibly harder than losing it.
• Overprotection. There is such a category of mothers, who are called hen mothers. Such mothers overprotect their children, which harms their full, normal development. Overprotection negatively affects different sides of your child. He will not be able to make friends for a long time, will not be able to express his opinion and defend it.
• Lack of time. One of the biggest mistakesparents - little time for classes with children. Everyone is constantly busy at work, doing housework, but this does not mean that you need to forget about the needs of the child. He needs your attention and joint evenings, conversations, games and reading your favorite books. Otherwise, your baby will begin to feel unwanted and will seek support and understanding from strangers.
• Lack of affection. Children of all ages need affection and attention. They make you feel needed and loved. Therefore, it is impossible to deny a son or daughter this pleasure. But it is also important to remember that it is forbidden to impose affection. Do not force you to kiss, hug. After all, tenderness should come from the heart, and not because it is necessary.
• Money issue. It is by no means possible to replace love with money, but, unfortunately, a child in the modern world experiences this very often. It is clear to everyone that adults are trying to earn as much as possible for the common good, but still money cannot replace parental love and affection. Any, even the most expensive purchase will fade if your child lacks attention and care.

The goal of good parenting

Parents who truly love their children treat them carefully and seriously. They make decisions based on the benefit it will bring to the child. Parents who do not explain to their child what is good and what is bad spoil the human nature of the baby. From here, ill-bred children and their mothers appear, who do not hear anything and do everything in their own way, ignoring those around them. Fromsuch babies grow up insecure, angry and capricious personalities.