Envious girlfriend: causes, manifestation of envy, what to do with a girlfriend and whether to continue friendship

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

An almost every girl has an envious girlfriend. It's just that this envy is not always expressed openly. Quite often, it may turn out to be the closest friend, the one that grew up with you since childhood, the one that you would never have thought of until an unpleasant surprise happened. How do envious friends behave? What to do with it? This is our article.

What is envy

Psychology interprets envy as an unpleasant feeling that arises at the sight of the success of other people. This feeling is most pronounced next to those who are truly close to us. If there are approximately equal conditions, but one person is successful and the other is unsuccessful, the feeling of envy is stronger.

Why does envy arise

Such a destructive feeling appears on the basis of a person's constant comparison of his personality, his life successes and achievements with others. This behavior is due to the lack of parentallove in childhood, constant reproaches of parents who compared their child with other children, pointing out shortcomings. Such behavior forms self-doubt, fear of failure, anxiety and other negative programs that pass into adulthood. In addition, a child who is constantly accused of imperfection grows up not only envious. He has a sense of guilt towards his parents for their unfulfilled expectations.

Envy is a lack of information

It's very common to see people smiling. They behave nicely with others, look great, they succeed. If you are one of those people, you can be congratulated. It is understandable why you are envied. However, envious people have no idea how all these “fell from heaven” blessings actually get. Only the tip of success is always visible, and the efforts expended on it are not known to anyone. Tell a friend about the price of your success, how much you have to work, what to sacrifice. Draw her attention to the advantages of the position in which she is. Tell her that she can go to the club or to the cinema, and you need to work all evening, go to bed late, and start working again in the morning. You have no time for yourself, no rest, no way to just sleep peacefully, for example, before dinner.

Why did my friend start to envy

Above, we outlined the underlying causes that encourage a person to experience envy in relation to other people's successes. And now let's analyze the external reasons that became the key to launch:

• You met your loved one and now you are absolutely happy. This is the most common cause of envy if your girlfriend is single or in a relationship that doesn't suit her. You are happy, constantly say how wonderful he is, how many gifts he gave, what words he spoke. Such behavior makes the girlfriend even more lonely and increases the feeling of her uselessness. Try not to have such conversations with her. Spare your friend the cloying details. Agree with your lover that you will behave with restraint when you come together to a lonely girlfriend.
• Having unique abilities. Talented people usually know from an early age what their highlight is. Grandmothers, mothers and fathers, who sent the child on the right path in time, gave him a great gift. But not everyone is so lucky. Most people do not even guess what their true uniqueness lies in. As a result, many develop a feeling of envy towards those who are successful in some kind of creativity or in any other business.
• High position. Often girlfriends are in the same workplace or in approximately equal conditions. But for one, things are going uphill, and for the second, things are going badly. Maybe you and your friend are in a similar situation?
• Beauty. The concept of beauty is very relative. Even shortcomings can be skillfully passed off as virtues. Small stature is fragility and femininity, a slightly full figure is appetizing forms. Even a scar on the face, if desired, can be presented in a favorable light. Another question is that some are able to do this, while the latter are fixated ontheir own imperfection, they are not able to discern their uniqueness, they are ready to suffer day and night, because they were offended by nature, and someone got a model appearance just like that.
• Alien influence. Perhaps your friend didn't initially intend to envy you, but someone was able to turn her against the success you've achieved. Perhaps there are people who inspire her that she is more worthy than you, but happiness left her, and nailed to you.
• Wounded pride. While you are enjoying well-deserved success, your girlfriend remains in the shadows. This is hard to bear. This is especially difficult for those who have always had problems with self-esteem.
• Evil character. It happens that people simply do not know how to enjoy life and notice something good in the little things. This requires some moral effort, and it is much easier to envy your best friend. Sometimes anger is skillfully hidden under mock friendliness, but only for a while.

We suggest talking about how to recognize an envious girlfriend. This insidious feeling is not always immediately apparent.

How to recognize envy

How do envious girlfriends behave? We often interpret some of the signs as a desire to participate, to give advice. Are you sure that your friendship is really real? Check her for signs of an envious friend:

• Coldness in communication. Let's say you came to a meeting with a friend and show her a modest gift from your lover. If you hear in response that such a gift is of no value, it may bea sign of your girlfriend's envy.
• Criticism against you. Envious people tend to have a loser mindset. Successful people rejoice in the successes of their environment, perceiving them as their own. If, however, a stream of endless criticism falls upon your every achievement, think about the sincerity of your friendship.
• The desire to imitate. You bought a dress last week and bragged to your friend. And today she came to the meeting in exactly the same. She copies your interests, lifestyle.
• Too much interest in your relationship. She does not miss a moment to ask how you are doing with your loved one. Her envy makes you look for any negative aspects in your relationship. Once she finds them, she'll feel better and begin to feign sympathy.
• She's always with you when you're in trouble, but she's not there when things are going well. As a rule, an envious girlfriend comes to the rescue one of the first. She wipes her tears, prepares sweet tea, and in the meantime asks for all the details and gives advice to start a new life (quiet, calm, just like her own).
• Emotions for show. She demonstrates her joy towards you too much, so this insincerity is evident. At the same time, she constantly reminds how she sincerely rejoices for you and does not envy you a bit.

How to behave

Your friend is jealous. You know this, but so far you can’t break off relations with her, and you won’t be able to reduce communication to nothing in the near future. What to do? Don't talk about yoursuccess. Talk about your work and relationship with your lover with restraint, miss out on details that are pleasant for you. The less envy in your relationship, the better it will develop. Try to let your friend know that personal life in conversations is a taboo that should not be broken. Let there be no talk of men in your territory.

To communicate or not

If you have an envious girlfriend who not only suffers from her failures, but also tries to push fortune away from you so that everything happens the same way with you, you hardly need such a person. You can’t rely on such a friend, you can’t trust her with anything, you can’t expect help from her. Whether it is necessary to communicate with an envious girlfriend - decide for yourself. Think about it, maybe she's not the only one to blame.

Perhaps you yourself have caused negative emotions on her part. Try to answer honestly the following questions:

• How long in conversations with a friend, the topic revolves around your world, your success, love and other components of everyday life.
• How much time is devoted to the experiences of a friend?
• Do you support her? Are you trying to cheer up? Notice she's lost weight or got a nice manicure or taken a driving class or something?
• Ask yourself the most important question: why did you start a friendship with her? Perhaps against the backdrop of her miserable life and failures, you feel more confident and better than you really are?

Remember, eventhe most negative situation can be turned into a positive one. How to do this, we will consider further.

How to help

A happy person does not experience negative emotions towards other people. When you are in a good mood, it does not matter at all what the weather is like outside. Why these thoughts? If a friend is envious, this is not a reason to delete her from your life. Try to take responsibility and help her. Of course, everything requires a delicate attitude.

Do not try to make it better and instill what is interesting to you personally. Think about the strengths of your friend. She sings well - great, go to karaoke, make her feel like a star. Is your friend a good cook? Ask her, for example, to help prepare treats for a festive table or a party, praise her in front of the guests. You can say a lot of bad words about an envious girlfriend. Or you can just understand that she became like this because of a feeling of self-doubt, childhood traumas, a large number of complexes. Perhaps there are many more reasons that make a loved one deeply unhappy every day.

Projection

So, you have envious girlfriends. What to do if a positive solution to the situation does not suit you? In psychology, there is the concept of projection. You may have heard the expression that the way a person expresses thoughts about others characterizes himself. So, projection is explained by this. If other people seem envious, cheating, or rude, chances are, you yourself are.human. It's just that he transfers his own shortcomings to others.

Temporary ignore

How to get rid of an envious girlfriend if attempts to improve relations were unsuccessful? Try to keep contact to a minimum. Let her become just a friend in your eyes, with whom you occasionally call back. Try not to meet in common companies and keep conversations to a minimum. Maybe your temporary absence will make your friend reconsider her own views on friendship.

Be honest

Don't rush to plan how to get rid of an envious girlfriend. Try talking to her openly first. Find out what causes her to feel such a negative feeling. Perhaps after such a conversation you will be able to maintain the relationship and even improve it.

Mysticism to help

We offer a conspiracy on how to get rid of an envious girlfriend. It is read before the moment when you are about to tell your friend something important. This conspiracy acts as an energy cocoon. If you have already experienced negative consequences after talking with a friend, say the words nine times, repeating each time to yourself: "Your envy goes away, and my success comes."

There are many texts of conspiracies. Let's bring one more. It is simple but effective. Take a glass of water and a tablespoon of sugar. Pour sugar into a glass, repeating the words of the conspiracy: "Just as water does not harm sugar, so you (friend's name) cannot harm me (your name)." Then mixsugar and drink.

Do you find it difficult to be in the company of a friend, but she wants to spend all her free time with you? If you chose her as a friend, then she has positive qualities. Help uncover them. You will be surprised how quickly everything changes for the better. Cherish your friendship.