How to make a child obey - features, methods and recommendations

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

When a child does not obey his parents, this significantly worsens family relationships. Since mom and dad begin to get nervous more often, break down on the child, try to force him to do something. This, in turn, worsens the relationship of children to their parents, and their behavior often becomes completely uncontrollable. It is necessary to find some kind of approach to the baby, learn to communicate in a normal tone, develop a certain behavior model that will suit all family members. In this article, we will learn how to get a child to obey the first time without screaming and unnecessary nerves.

How to achieve obedience

Little children quite often seek to help their parents in everything, but often this help only makes things worse. And many mothers and fathers simply forbid the child to do something around the house, sometimes even scold him for it. And then wewe are surprised that, having matured, our children refuse to do household chores. Didn't their parents themselves teach them to do this?

To teach a child to obey at 2 years old or a little later, it is necessary to encourage any of his activity. A son wants to help his dad hammer in a nail, or a daughter wants to do the dishes with her mom. There is nothing wrong. It is necessary to give the child the opportunity to be useful, and even if such help becomes not entirely useful, it is impossible to deprive the child of the opportunity to help.

You can teach your child to do something in the house gradually. First, do the work with him, then tell in detail what and how he should do, and after a while the children themselves can quite cope with long-familiar tasks. Another good technique is the game. Children love to play, and therefore, even the most boring activity can please them if it is presented in a playful way.

Prohibitions

Children don't like the word "no", but parents can't do without it. Permissiveness does not lead to anything good. Little children especially often take advantage of the weakness of their parents, and in order to achieve something, they simply fall into hysterics. Parents, in order to stop children's crying or to save their nerves, allow the baby everything, so long as he does not hysteria. In the end, nothing good comes of it. And such behavior of adults in childhood negatively affects the behavior of a child at an older age. Prohibitions are an obligatory part of the education process, butthe main thing here is to find the golden mean. So that parents do not go too far, psychologists have developed some recommendations about this.

Parental Flexibility

Psychologists recommend dividing a child's activity into four zones of permissibility, where the green zone will indicate that the child is allowed in any case, he has the right, for example, to independently choose toys that he will play today, the right to choose a place to play and that similar. This is followed by the yellow zone, where something is allowed to the child, but subject to the completion of some task. For example, if the lessons are done, then the baby can safely go for a walk. Orange zone - only some exceptions will apply here. We all know that on weekends you can go to bed late or eat more chocolate than usual on a holiday. These permissions will be included in the orange zone. And of course, the red zone is something that cannot be done under any circumstances. The child must clearly know about all the prohibitions and never violate them.

Consistent and consistent

If you brought something into the red zone, then in no case should you allow the child to break the ban. Otherwise, he will understand that it is possible to break the rule, and will cease to obey his parents. The same rule applies in the yellow zone. Many parents forbid their children from using the computer until they finish their homework. You do not need to succumb to the persuasion of the child and allow you to do homework after playing on the computer. Since then he will completely cease to giveattention to learning. If parents have already established some kind of ban, then they should firmly stand their ground.

And also all prohibitions must be discussed with all family members. After all, it often happens that dad forbids something, and mom allows it without any questions. Such behavior also does not bode well. Children quickly understand which parent should be contacted with this or that question, and as a result, they do not obey any of the parents. Moreover, often such situations lead to quarrels between adults.

Proportionality

You should not demand something impossible from a child, and even get angry at the baby if he cannot do something. There are difficult prohibitions that some children are simply not able to comply with. For example, how can you make a preschooler sit still, not talk, not run or jump. Children at the age of three generally say “no” to almost every request of their parents, and this is considered normal for this age. Mom and dad should know some features of the age of their child in order to behave properly with the baby.

How to choose the right tone

The stern voice of mom or dad does not always bring a positive result. It is likely that it will be much easier to persuade a child to do something if you speak calmly and friendly. After all, it is not in vain that they say that the forbidden fruit is sweet. When a parent speaks in a rough and strict voice, the baby may be offended,take everything personally and do something out of spite. But if you turn to him in a good way, then he will treat the ban, rather, as a request.

How to punish

Any non-compliance with the ban must be punished. There are some rules regarding punishments that can be quite effective:

• Many parents try to make their child feel bad: put them in a corner or kick them in the ass. Psychologists believe that this is not worth doing and it will be much more effective if you give the child something good so that he does not do something than punish him for the perfect action.
• Punishment should not be public because it humiliates the baby. Everything related to punishment should take place at home and without prying eyes.
• Don't try to humiliate your child with punishment. This can greatly damage his self-esteem.
• Punishment takes place only if the child really did something. And to punish just like that, for "prevention" is strictly prohibited. After all, the baby will not even understand what he was punished for, and, accordingly, his behavior will not change for the better.
• Parents should avoid all physical punishment. It is only allowed to hold the child by force if he wants to run away somewhere or climb into a dangerous place.

Some indulgence

There are no ideal people, and, accordingly, ideal children. There is no child in the world who would obey his parents one hundred percent, and this is the norm. After all, if the babywill live only according to the instructions received from his mother, then no life experience will be gained. Sometimes, instead of thousands of explanations, it is enough to let the child do something that will cause him a little harm. For example, nothing terrible will happen if he touches the flame of a candle. Having received these sensations, he will remember them once and for all and will no longer climb there. But such permissions take place only if it is safe for the life and he alth of the baby.

Relationship with caregiver

How to make children obey the teacher, if they simply do not hear him. In some kindergartens, this is attributed to a large number of children in the group and to loud noise, but in reality this is far from the case. Most likely, the teacher simply has a too quiet voice, or the timbre is set incorrectly. You need to work on your pronunciation a bit, but don't yell at the kids as it won't make a difference. The voice should be loud and clear, with a slightly strict intonation, giving a setting for a particular action. You can also try to appeal to children in a playful way, offering them various nursery rhymes and games.

Age features

It is especially difficult in kindergarten with three-year-old children. Many parents and educators are wondering: how to make a child obey at 3 years old. After all, it is at this age that the word “no” is especially common in his speech. If the educators are ready for this period, then the parents simply give up. After all, always cheerful and flexiblethe baby turns into a naughty child. Parents need to prepare in advance for the protests of the child, develop a certain model of behavior, learn to seek compromises. It’s good if they learn to negotiate with the child, allow him to make decisions on his own, but at the same time they will receive from him what they need.

Conclusion

As you can see, following these simple rules, you can easily force a child to obey his parents at 2 years old and at an older age. The main thing is to be able to find an approach to the baby, learn to negotiate with him, and not establish a rigid dictatorship, as parents often try to do. But in most cases, they receive only protests and even more complicated relationships with their children. And by following the tips above and staying calm when communicating with children, you can get your child to obey without screaming, maintain your he alth and build relationships with your beloved child.