How to explain to a child what is possible and what is not, how children are born, who is God? Tips for Parents of Curious Children

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

"Every little baby comes out of their diapers and gets lost everywhere and is everywhere!". It is merrily sung in a funny children's song about naughty monkeys. When a child begins to actively explore the world around him, sometimes with a very destructive force, he is faced with a number of certain restrictions on the part of his parents.

What is allowed and what is not? Some parents prefer to take the path of least resistance and raise their child in permissiveness. Is this right?

What is good and what is bad

Some parents may complain that the child does not understand the word “no”. You can fight in hysterics and tear your hair out, but your child simply does not hear you. It should be remembered that the word “no” is by no means magical and cannot momentarily turn a raging villain into a silky and obedient angel. In order for the communication between the child and the parent to be successful, and the child began to adequately respond to your remarks, prohibitions and restrictions, you need to work hard.

Often the very word “no” can cause a protest in a child. This word becomes a kind of irritant if it is pronounced constantly. The child will either do everything contrary to the prohibition, or simply not respond to the parent's "no". The latter most often happens if the word “no” sounds constantly and at every step and simply loses its meaning. But how to explain to a child how to behave, what is good and what is bad, without resorting to this word? Pretty simple. Introduce its synonyms.

When to say "no"

A child of the first years of life should understand the difference between the word "no" and the words "not necessary", "not good", "dangerous" or "indecent". If you use different forbidding synonyms in a certain context, the child will not protest the prohibition itself.

But how do you tell a child not to do this or that?

The prohibition indicated by the word "not" should be based on the fact that the forbidden action may harm the physical or psychological state of the child or others. For example, you can’t touch electrical wires, stick your fingers into a socket, touch a gas stove - this is dangerous to life and he alth. You can’t beat, call names, humiliate others - it’s insulting and unpleasant. The child must understand that the word “no” hides obvious harm.

Using the synonyms "shouldn't"/"shouldn't", you explain to the child that such behavior is unacceptable insociety or what the child wants is not appropriate right now. For example, "no need to scatter cereal on the carpet." With such a restriction, you do not forbid the child to act, but simply correct: do not pour cereal on the carpet, take a bowl.

Why is the water wet?

With age, some prohibitions lose their relevance, and prohibited actions become clear and obvious to the child. New ones take the place of old ones. It is clear that a ten-year-old child will not stick his finger into the socket and try to climb into a pot of boiling water.

Children's exploration activity is being replaced by the "why" era. Many parents shudder in anticipation of a period of endless childish questions that often lead to a stupor.

• Why is the water wet?
• Why does the sun shine?
• Why is the ladybug called that?

In no case should you dismiss an inquisitive baby as an annoying fly. You should stock up on a wagon of patience and continue to explore this world together. Moreover, now there are a lot of opportunities for this and Google is always at hand. It was much harder for past generations when they had to leaf through more than one encyclopedia at their leisure in search of answers to tricky children's questions.

Adult questions from the mouth of a baby

Don't be scared or embarrassed by a child's indecent questions. It should be understood that he has no idea about what he is asking about. And if the baby asks to explain what some obscene word means, you should not ask the child immediatelyforget it and never say it. This will arouse even greater interest on the part of the baby, the same protest may wake up, and the child will spitefully repeat a bad word.

The worst thing is if the child loses trust in the parent and goes to look for help on the side. It is important to treat any, even the most obscene, questions calmly and try to explain to the child whether this is good or bad.

When faced with a situation where a child is still unconsciously using bad words, do not show strong emotions. In this case, even a bad word will not make a strong impression on the child, and will soon be completely forgotten.

How to explain to a child whether certain words can be used?

If the child himself is interested in the meaning of a bad word, you should explain what it means, but make a note that well-educated and intelligent people do not use such words. You can enhance the effect of perception by asking: do you consider yourself a well-bred boy/girl?

If the child has an idol, you can focus on him, saying that this character does not use abusive words. If, in the process of explaining a swear word, you express your position too emotionally, categorically forbidding the child to remember and utter swear words, this will cause a backlash. The child will understand that bad words evoke strong emotions, and will use this. If you do not attach special importance to this and simply explain to the baby that using abusive words hemay not look your best or be ridiculed, you will most likely not experience this problem again.

It is impossible to protect a child from all sources of "bad words". But it is necessary to correctly explain their meaning and the need to use them in a conversation. It is definitely not worth turning a blind eye to this.

Cabbage, stork, shop or maternity hospital?

Sooner or later there comes a period when a child asks mom and dad where he came from. It is unlikely that modern parents, embarrassed, will mutter something like: they bought it in a store, brought a stork, or found it in cabbage. Sexual education of a child from an early age is considered the norm. But is it worth limiting ourselves to a romantic story about how dad and mom loved each other and wanted a child, and then dad gave mom a seed that grew in mom's stomach and so on? How to properly explain to a child how children are born?

It is very important not to restrict the child's right to ask questions about such "adult things" and get honest answers to them. Questions regarding gender differences, as well as intimate life, are normal and are considered a sign of the correct development of the baby.

It is very important, when answering such questions, to be extremely sincere and truthful. The child must see that his question did not cause shame in his parents, in this case he will perceive the information adequately.

Talking to your child about sex and having children should be done in a language that is appropriate for their age. And if a baby of 3-4 years old is enough to simply say that he appeared from his mother's belly, thenOlder children may already require specifics. Here you can tell a fairy tale about daddy's seed, which grew in the tummy, turned into a baby. And when the baby became cramped, he was born.

Talk about it

If the child does not show interest in this topic, then sooner or later the parents will have to provoke a conversation on their own. The optimal age to start sex education is 6-7 years old. This is the age when a child begins to learn about the world around him with the help of feelings, empathy.

It is worth telling the baby that sympathy arises between people, which can develop into love. You can ask the child to explain in his own words how he understands these terms and what love means to him. What does it mean to love mom and dad, and what does it mean to feel sympathy for classmate Masha?

Don't be ashamed to talk to children “about it” and think about how to explain such a complex matter to a child. A child will perceive a story about the relationship between a man and a woman in the same way and with the same interest as a story about an alarm clock.

In the process of talking about sex with a child, it is important not to form a taboo in his mind. The child must understand that sex is natural and normal, but is the prerogative of adults, and intimate relationships are not customary to advertise.

And if we don't talk about it?

Of course, you can slow everything down and not talk to the child on frank topics if he does not show interest. It can be naive to believe that before marriage a person would prefer to watchcartoons and collect puzzles, and there everything will turn out by itself. The child does not ask adult questions - and it’s good, the parent’s back is not covered with cold sweat, and in general, everything will be taught at school. And more knowledgeable peers will embellish.

Whether it is mandatory for children to have sex within the family, parents decide for themselves. But you need to be aware that frank conversations with the child, support and understanding increase the trust in parents. Of course, today children can independently obtain any information on the Internet and satisfy their inquisitive mind. But the child should know that frank topics in the family are not under lock and key, that parents are always ready to help him and explain everything.

Why aren't dad and mom together?

Explaining to a child the concepts of love, tenderness and procreation using the example of parental relationships, sometimes one may encounter a childish question "why mom and dad don't live together if they love each other." This applies to families where the parents are divorced. An idyllic picture of love and harmony between a man and a woman, presented to a child, can be shattered by a harsh, contradictory reality.

How to explain the divorce of parents to a child? In no case should parents take up arms against each other, exchanging mutual accusations, even when it is difficult. The child must understand that dad is not a scoundrel who abandoned mom. It is important to explain to the child that mom and dad love and respect each other, but they can no longer live together.

Worth itexplain to the baby that in life, in addition to love and passion, there can be separations, and you need to put up with this and live on, maintaining good relationships. It will be enough for a small child to see that the parents have kept the world, albeit at a distance. And the grown-up child will put together the puzzle of parental relations on his own.

Teaching at school

It's no secret that a person can finish school twice: the first time on their own, and subsequent times with their children. When children go to school, they receive new knowledge, and their parents resurrect their knowledge, already acquired once. School tasks can often take parents by surprise. The school curriculum changes every year, but its fundamentals remain the same. And parents should know how to clearly explain the basic rules to the child.

At school, a child receives a lot of information, so the task of a parent at home is to systematize the knowledge gained by the child and together analyze incomprehensible or difficult points.

How to explain division to a child? Lessons with mom

Often, parents wonder how to explain the division to the child in an understandable language, but at the same time without resorting to the division of vegetables and fruits or the distribution of sweets among Mash and Sing. The sweets were shared, but the principle itself was not understood.

A cartoon about 38 parrots will come to the rescue, in which the boa constrictor was measured by parrots. Explain to the child that the basic principle of division is to determine how many times a smaller number fits into a larger one. For example, 6:2 is to find how many twos fit in a six.

AlsoOften schoolchildren are faced with a misunderstanding of cases. It would seem that simple concepts cause difficulties in perception, and children often ask their parents to explain. How to explain cases to a child easily and simply?

You can use as an example a sentence in which all words are used in the nominative case "sister reads a book", "neighbor walks the dog". Having heard how ridiculous such sentences sound, the child will understand the importance of using cases and the important role played by the ending of the word.

And the cases themselves are easy to explain by substituting logical questions to them. For example, the accusative case - to blame whom / what? (porridge, cup, pillow), dative case - to give to whom / what? (porridge, cup, pillow) and so on. These examples clearly show how to explain cases to a child in a playful and easy way.

Let's talk spiritual

Who is God? What is he for and where does he live? It is likely that parents will have to face similar questions. Naturally, the parent's answer will be justified by a personal attitude to religion. Of course, you can cultivate a convinced atheist, categorically declaring that there is no God, and all this is nonsense. Science rules the world.

How to explain to a child who is God? A parent cannot be categorical in this matter, planting his convictions, whether he is an ardent atheist or a devout believer. It is necessary to provide the child with alternative information in order for him to have a correct idea of the universe.

You need to introduce the child to the Bible and tell what this book describesbasic human values. After reading the children's Bible, the child will certainly have a general idea of religion and human relationships, of good and evil. And the question of how to explain to a child who God is and where he lives will disappear by itself.

Religion or science?

It is necessary to explain to the child that science is progress and practicality, and religion is first of all love. Tell that both of these concepts can exist in symbiosis and coexist in one person. The main thing is to sow in the mind of the baby the beginnings of understanding of both, and not at all the denial of one in favor of the other.

Talking about the spiritual is just as necessary as explaining the clock, time and how the world works to a child.