Life after the wedding: changes in the relationship of newlyweds, advice from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

How do you imagine life after marriage? Do you think the honeymoon will last a lifetime? Nothing like this. Think of any Disney cartoon. It shows the life of princesses until they get married. What will happen to them next, history is silent. It’s not worth getting upset about your future, but mentally preparing for difficulties is simply necessary.

Domestic problems

What do people have to deal with after marriage? Life brings them many everyday surprises. Just yesterday, the beloved and adored man was perfect, but today he just can’t remember that dirty dishes should be taken to the sink and not left on the table. Different household habits become occasions for various disputes. Newlyweds do not always understand that they grew up in different families, in different social conditions and are used to looking at life differently. You have to learn how to come tocompromise. And there is no point in waiting for time to study the habits of a person. Don't be afraid to show what you don't like right away. Otherwise, then your partner will be perplexed by your reaction. For a month, everything was fine, and now you decided to tell what actually infuriates you with uncovered toothpaste or socks scattered around the apartment. To avoid such incidents, solve problems immediately, as they arise. In any case, both partners will have to make concessions. You will need to adapt to your soul mate and change your own behavior. But always look at things objectively and build your life so that you take the best habits from those that you and your spouse have.

Those people who lived together before the formalization of the relationship do not wonder if there is life after the wedding. Spouses already know the habits of their partner, and they are not afraid of them. People do not have a sense of novelty in the conduct of a joint life, and it is easier for them to live a full life with their legal spouse.

No sex

Life after marriage no longer seems like a fairy tale. Why? Partners get used to each other and gain confidence that their soulmate will not go anywhere now. So, you can calmly go about your business and pay less attention to your partner. The appearance of a good relationship remains. People still kiss at a meeting, gently hug each other and say affectionate words. But there is less sex. A girl can say that she is tired while exercisinghousehold chores, and a man - to prefer a TV to a young wife. The logic behind this behavior is simple. A person always wants to receive what is inaccessible to him or something forbidden. When the possession of a beloved body had to be earned, one had to try. And now you do not need to do anything, a loved one is always available. What is given to a person for free, he rarely appreciates.

Is everything really so bad and people will eventually completely stop having sex? No. It's just that over time, quality becomes much more important than quantity. People approach sex more consciously, they take more breaks in order to enjoy the process.

Relatives

Thinking about whether life changes after marriage? Yes, it's changing. You become part of your soulmate's family, and her relatives begin to treat you differently. If earlier people were always kind and friendly with you, now the situation is changing. They will not be afraid to hide their displeasure and tell you what they think. For example, the guy's mother will openly condemn the girl for not dusting the apartment well. The woman's argument will be that her son is allergic and she doesn't want the "boy" to feel bad.

Newlyweds will be very lucky if they live not with their parents, but separately from their relatives. But even in this case, you will have to go to visit them, and quite often. You will need to spend long hours talking about how things are going and listening to the moralizing of the older generation. Break people intoIn this case, it is impossible, they may be offended. And they may not care at all that they are telling you the story for the fourth time. If you pay attention to this fact, relatives will say that repetition is the mother of learning.

After the wedding, did you move to another city? You still can't get rid of your relatives. They will come to visit you. Such invasions will have to endure for all the holidays. You will not have the opportunity to go out with friends or be alone with your soulmate. Relatives will insist that you know the name of the wedding after a year of marriage, as well as all other memorable dates, and do not forget to invite them to such celebrations.

Lack of time for myself

Previously, a girl could soak in the bath for a long time, make various face and hair masks, go to spas and beauty salons. A happy life after marriage deprives a woman of such opportunities. There is not enough time for yourself. It is necessary to pay attention to the second half, to take care of the household, work, and when children appear, take care of their upbringing. How in this chaos to allocate at least an hour a week to be alone with yourself? You need to win time from your family. You should let your partner know right away that you want to spend time alone. For example, on weekends in the morning, you can leave the house and do whatever your heart desires until lunchtime. Such small outings should occur on an ongoing basis. Do not be afraid that the second half will be offended by such behavior. The desire to take care of yourself and be alone with your thoughts is quite natural.

After they put a stamp in your passport, you will need to know the name of the wedding after a year of marriage. Printed wedding, paper, leather and so on will become official holidays. You will need to start family traditions and pay more attention to your soulmate. But you should not give up your habits and forget about hobbies. You can instill your interests in a loved one. Do you learn English through TV series? Watch them with your soulmate and explain difficult words to her. You do not need to betray your interests, otherwise after a while you will realize your degradation.

Overeating

How does a person change after 10 years of marriage? A wedding is a turning point in anyone's life. If before this solemn event a person held on, went to the gym and was on a diet, then after the formalization of the relationship, the willpower disappears somewhere. The person understands that now you don’t need to take care of yourself, and you can relax. This means that a person ceases to deny himself something. He starts eating at night, snacking on buns and snacking on sandwiches with mayonnaise instead of vegetables and fruits. It is not surprising that after 10 years of marriage, people gain a lot of weight. Even girls who were very thin before the wedding gain extra pounds during pregnancy, and then do not even try to get rid of them. It seems that the shape and size of the body should not affect personalhappiness? A beautiful figure directly affects not only a person’s self-esteem, but also his he alth. As the saying goes, a he althy mind in a he althy body.

You shouldn't run yourself. Willpower needs to be trained. Do you think about the question of whether there is life after marriage? Definitely there is, and happy. If you correctly form your diet, balance the intake of proteins, fats and carbohydrates, then you will not get better. At the same time, it is not at all necessary for girls to switch to food separate from their husband. You should normalize the diet of your young man, just slightly increase his portion of food relative to yours.

Financial difficulties

Amazing things happen to spouses' incomes. When people live separately, their salaries are enough for them. But when they start living together, money is spent faster and there is never enough of it. After the wedding, this becomes especially noticeable. Why is this happening? The fact that as income increases, so do requests, known to all. Since each person perceives the family budget as his own funds, he manages them as he sees fit. And since both partners act in this way, at the end of the month they do not always have the funds to pay utility bills and pay off all loans.

How to build family happiness? Life after marriage can be happy if people approach it more consciously. For example, both partners will understand that they need to consult with their significant other about spending and plan purchases.in advance. So people will know exactly how much they can spend and what exactly their savings will go to. When a person has no surprises about their finances, life gets better. If you can’t keep all the expenses in mind, you can get a mobile application for your phone, in which each of the spouses will make their own expenses. Having made a purchase, a notification about it should be left in the application, and then the second half will know that the money has been debited from the account. This is a convenient system for self-control and saving own funds.

No friends

The life of brides after the wedding may seem sad to them for the reason that girlfriends leave the lives of girls. They disappear gradually. Why is this happening? After the wedding, the girl masters the role of a hostess and spends a lot of time on household chores and caring for her husband. Not enough time for friends. Therefore, after a year, the girl is no longer invited to various entertainment events, birthdays or gatherings in a cafe. The same thing happens with men, but in their cases, such phenomena are less common. Guys are more likely to find time to sit in the company of men, drink beer and talk about something other than buying new curtains. Spouses lead a closed life and communicate only with colleagues, relatives and each other. Therefore, they soon have very few friends. To prevent such a situation from happening in your life, after marriage, you must immediately form a common company of friends. Before the wedding, the bride had her girlfriends, and the groom had friends. Now the family will have a common company in whichfriends of both spouses will enter.

Nothing to talk about

Family life after the wedding does not please those people who do not have hobbies and spend all their free time alone with each other. Such gatherings become incredibly boring over time. People understand that they have nothing to talk about. Don't be afraid to spend more time away from home and take a break from your significant other. Go to a meeting with your friends in the bathhouse and spend time discussing other people's problems. When you return home, you will have new topics to discuss with your loved one. You should also find a hobby that will be exclusively yours. Devoting time to your favorite pastime, you will not think about non-existent problems and wind yourself up. Start a hobby with your husband. Work brings people together. For example, you can write a novel together, craft something together, or engage in teaching activities. Then you will at your leisure discuss not only everyday moments, but also issues related to common hobbies. Discussions like this will diversify your conversations and help you find more common ground with a person.

All attention to the child

A year of marriage after the wedding seems like hell for people who have time to acquire offspring during this time. The child takes a lot of time and requires increased attention. A woman stops devoting time to her husband and tries to spend every free minute with her child. This situation does not suit a man, and he is jealous of his chosen one for the baby. Permanentdissatisfaction with each other leads to scandals and tantrums. Oil can be added to the fire by a woman who does not communicate with anyone for days on end, and she becomes bored with her own company. The child is too small and requires only care, but as yet gives nothing in return. The lady closes in on herself and begins to unnerve her husband and cling to him with all sorts of nonsense. This can annoy a man, and in desperation he will look for love on the side. Does this situation bother you? So, you need to improve your relations so that they do not have an advantage. A man should help a woman with a child, and a lady should pay attention to her chosen one. People need to communicate not only with each other, but also to be in society more often. You can take the baby with you or leave it in the care of grandparents.

Crisis

Problems exist in every marriage. But some people announce them publicly, while others prefer to remain silent. Marriage crises are normal. People who want to build good relationships must learn to overcome all difficulties. Then the love between them will not dry out, but will grow into something more. Trust, tenderness and respect will appear in the family. And without all this, it is impossible to imagine a strong marriage.

To deal with problems, you need to know them. What are the crises of marriage by year?

• In the early days. After the wedding, people who have never lived together begin to get used to each other. Problems pop up like mushrooms after rain. Either the husband will not wash the dishes after himself, or the wife will not wash the clothes on time. Firstclash with everyday life brings people disappointment. The lovers begin to think that the wedding was a mistake and in fact the second half is not.
• First 2 months of marriage. Life after the wedding begins to annoy a person when he realizes that the partner does not want to change. And this realization comes after 2 months. A person sees that he is making titanic efforts to restore order, but the other half does not notice this, does not appreciate it and does not want to help at all.
• In six months. The first problems in a couple begin when rose-colored glasses fall from their eyes. People begin to see in their partner not only advantages, but also disadvantages. The person stops looking perfect, and it starts to get annoying.
• Crisis 1 year. After living a year with a loved one, some begin to think that perhaps they made a mistake. It's not too late to make things right. People lack care, they are not ready to take responsibility and regret the carefree life they had before marriage.
• After the baby is born. A baby for a family is a great happiness. But young parents have no idea what to do with their child. They care too much about the child and pay little attention to each other.
• 3-5 years of married life. When a child grows up in a young family, and people realize that life is not so difficult, they try to realize their potential. But free time is not enough. And the partner does not always want to take on some of the responsibilities of his soulmate.
• 7-8 years of marriage. People got used to each other and now they are bored with their soulmate. ATno more passion and fire.
• After 12 years of marriage. The couple understands that life passes, and their affairs do not improve in any way. Yes, the child is growing, but time goes by, and you have to postpone your own plans all the time.
• 20-25 years of marriage. People think about the rightness of their choice and how life could have turned out if they had chosen another spouse for themselves.

Now you know what difficulties can arise after the wedding of the spouses and you can overcome everything if you only wish.